I promised to update the story #soon and here you are. I am so happy that u liked it so far. Come on! We are over 1 000 views! Insane! I am so happy that I could dance all night.
The video was an inspiration for this chapter, so please take your precious time to watch it.
Enough of my comments, enjoy the chapter, feel free to comment and like it, if you will find it interesting...
Don't forget, Scott's POV is writen in bold and itallic font.
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"Baby I'm home!" I've heard the doors shut and the noise of Beau's keys have been dropped to the bowl. I'm so not ready for this talk, but my "honest me" forced me to do that. I hate myself so much, guilt comfortably sitting in my stomach, spreading it's tentacles all over my body. I can feel the guilt so intensive that I want to puke, faint or cry. I am a mess already and I even didn't start to speak yet.
He came to the living room, bright smile on his face. That is not helping at all. One of guilt's tentacles tickled my stomach and I had to concentrate on my face expression not to show my pain.
I was sitting behind the table, because I hoped that it would allowed me some distance during the conversation. Beau stopped next to me, grab my hand, and bend down to give me a kiss on my cheek. One of tentacles immediately touch my cheek from inside and I began to sweat.
"Beau, we need to talk." Damn it. I am really doing this.
"Mitch? Why so formally? Did anything happened to you? He asks and sat on the chair, his eyes curiously looked into mine.
"That is the problem actually. Nothing happened and still it is so much, what happened. I don't know if I will ever forgive myself..." I murmured.
"Mitchy? I can barely hear you. Can you please look at me and tell me what you want?"
I sighed deeply: "I think we should break up." I wasn't strong enough to look at him, I fixed my gaze at my shaking hands. All guilt's tentacles finally fully spread inside my body and I can't feel anything else than them.
"What? What are you talking about?" He looks terrified. "Did I do something? Did anybody told you something about me so bad that u made this decision?"
"No, not at all. I am really sorry. I don't know how to explain it without hurting you or if I am able to explain it at all."
Beau shook his head: "You have to explain this to me."
"My soul became old." I whispered.
"What? What does that even mean? You are quite old, so is your soul. I don't understand."
I closed my heavy eyes: "that is not true. I am older than you are, yes, but doesn't mean I have to have an old soul. I feel tired, trapped, betrayed from my mind..." The silence settled between us. "Do you remember my Youtube times? Do you remember any Sup3rfruit videos?"
He shrugged his nose: "Yeah. Rather don't remind me them. You acted like a fool."
"This is how you see it? That I was a fool?" That surprised me.
"Well... All those challenges, silly collaborations... You was even melting from pictures of food. Food!? ... The singing was good I have to admit. It is still pretty good."
"It was so much fun." I was losing my voice.
"No Mitch. It was fun just for your crazy fandom full of teenagers. It is history. You moved on. You changed, grown up. I am proud of you so much! You are looking great; you are behaving as a gentleman. You are the role model." He said it with a steady voice, truly believed it.
"I feel so old."
"What is this? Early middle age crises? Because that should be solved easily. We can travel or buy a sport car or a summer house, if it will help you."
I couldn't help myself and start to laugh: "No, that will not help and it is not the point. I just miss something, I can't tell exactly what..."
"Mitch?" His green eyes flashed with irritation: "Do you miss Scott?"
I didn't reply. I didn't reply, because I don't know it.
"Mitch... If it is your Scömíche bullshit... It is gone. He doesn't want you. He is even not inviting you to his parties. He obviously doesn't care. You are just part of the Sup3rfruit group and I bet if he can stop it, he would."
I felt like somebody sucked out all my breath from my body...
"Beau... You can't change my decision. I want us to stop living together." I tried to tell it with a strong voice, but it is hard without an air.
Beau stood up and he gave me a look full of contempt: "You are making the biggest mistake of your life. Scott doesn't love you, I love you with all my heart and soul. You will regret it Mitch. You will be lonely you will end abandoned from everybody at the end. I will recover, but I doubt you will."
And he left. He left from my life and he left me alone sitting in the chair with my old soul.
What a beautiful day! I spread my hands and legs, lying on the bed big enough for my tall body. Big enough for another two bodies lying beside me. What a life! What a joy!
I stood up and went to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. This is always the only part of the day still quite hard for me. I was used to share my need for caffeine with Mitch for so many years that it developed a strong habit, nearly impossible to get rid of.
It was so early in the morning, I couldn't believe I am awake already, nobody's here to make me a company. I hate to be alone! I sat on the patio, enjoying the view and went through Twitter and Instagram content.
It was quite a drama in our fandom, because today is the anniversary of one of our old Sup3rfruit videos. The one teasing Scömíche super funny and cute. My notifications were flooded by photos and videos compilations of Mitch and me. Laughing, giggling, tickling, spanking, drinking, dancing, kissing, touching... It was quite interesting to see all our behavior though someone else eyes.
I have to admit we were lovely, young, naïve and we though we will last forever... I bit my lip and I felt something warm near my heart. It was weak, but it was still there. I know myself good enough to know; that my forever love, my spirit animal, is and always will be Mitchell Grassi and I it will be problematic for the rest of my life.
That doesn't mean I am not happy right now. I am, but everybody can have only one soulmate and I just can't let mine go away forever.
I figured out Mitch liked and even rt some of those videos. Weird. He even commented on two or three of them. Weird as hell. He wrote a post himself about the anniversary. Wait a minute - what is doing?
He can do all those things of course, but he haven't been active on social media since Paris. No matter how "Kids" begged him, he was very off.
I still remember Beau's warning, so I will not call him. Let's see what future will bring. I will wait for another odd behavior and then I will act.
I am alone, but I feel peace. Guilt is still sitting in my stomach and I really hope it will disappear someday. I feel uncertain what to do next. I just try to occupy myself with the internet, movies and music. Music is the key and my forever companion.
I was spreading some love to the fandom, watched random video compilations of our videos from the time, when Scömíche was bittersweet reality. Suddenly I was hooked by really lovely one with a song, which I will not probably listen to, but it's lyrics spoke to my so loudly, I thought I will become deaf.
I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts
We got yeah we got a lot at stake
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
I won't give up on us
God knows I'm tough, he knows
We got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
We are worth it. Our friendship is worth it, I was selfish, and I was fool that I thought that I could cut Scott away from my body. Because we went through many bad times, we were there for each other's; we were solid like a rock. We were holding each other's after our broken relationships and Scott always showed me the bright side of the life, when I was lost in my panic attacks.
I thought I don't need that anymore, that somebody else might take his place. I was so stupid. I was so scared. I was tired. I was desperate. I was in love. I want all or nothing. I ended with nothing. I should have known better.
I will find a way to put our broken pieces of friendship together, glued with trust. I won't give up. God knows we're worth it...
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The drama is behind the corner... #soon
I love you all.