Chance sat down next to Tim. He slipped his arm around his shoulder, trying to comfort his friend as he sobbed. The tables had briefly turned. Tim was always the strong one, always there for everyone else, whatever the cost. Without warning Tim grabbed him tightly, burying his head into his shoulder. He continued to ask for forgiveness from Caroline. Chance embraced him, putting aside all his pain and discomfort, trying to console his friend.
Tim suddenly let go, sitting upright, backing away from Chance. He looked around, shocked realizing where he was and what he might have said.
"Are you ok" Chance asked quietly.
Tim wiped his eyes, " yeah, yeah I'm fine, fine..wwhy you asking".
Chance explained the last hour or so to Tim, "who is Caroline?" he asked cautiously.
Tim knew the day would come that he would have to face the past, he didn't want it to be this way. He felt vulnerable for the first time in quite awhile. He couldn't let his guard down, not now, if ever. He tried to regain his composure and simply replied " no one".
Chance knew better, any other time he may have let it slide, but not tonight. He had put Tim through hell, seldom thinking of what he had been through. He knew now she must be the key to his determination to take care of him. "Please Tim, talk to me" he asked.
Tim walked away, searching for the bottle of whiskey. Chance followed "you know that isn't the answer" when Tim found it in the kitchen.
"You of all people should be the last one to tell me it's not" he growled as he drank from the bottle.
Chance pulled it away, throwing it against the wall. He grabbed Tim, pushing him back to the lounge, knocking him down onto the seats.
"What the hell Chance, back off. You've got enough shit to deal with. Leave me alone, let me deal with my own" Tim yelled at him.
"How is that working out for ya" Chance yelled back, standing over him to be sure he wouldn't try to leave. Chance was determined to get him to tell him at any cost. He sat down again this time across from Tim.
"Have you not learned anything from me this past year. Stop hurting yourself over something that's not your fault, lean on your family to get you through the pain. That's what you've told me over and over, don't you think it's damn time you followed your own advice" he told him trying to tone down his own voice.
Tim ran his hands through his hair before leaning back, resting his head on the back of the seats. Staring at the ceiling, "but it is my fault" he barely stated as a tear ran down the side of his face.
****
Tim had one hell of a hangover that no amount of advil or tylenol was going to lessen. Each sound made by everyone as they boarded the bus felt like grenades going off in his head.
He grabbed a cold wash cloth and headed to his bunk, not saying a word to anyone, he laid down and covered his eyes with it.
Austin, Rob and Adam exchanged looks at his behavior. "Normally this would be typical for Chance, not Tim" commented Austin as Chance boarded the bus.
"What's typical for me" he asked with a raised brow.
"Taking a cold cloth and heading to bed, Tim is on his bunk" answered Austin.
Chance nodded and headed to the bunk area. He stopped by Tim's, the curtain drawn.
"You ok" he asked as he barely opened the curtain enough to put his head through.
"Fuck no, how do you deal with this shit everyday" Tim replied.
"Drugs and lots of them, then again I didn't drink a fifth of whiskey like you did" Chance chuckled.
"How about sharing your drugs" Tim asked.
"If I could but I don't have any left" Chance replied.
Tim took the cloth off his eyes, squinting he looked at Chance "Seriously, why the hell not. What.. how are you going to get through till we get to Raleigh" he said as he began to get up.
"Lay back down Tim and take care of yourself for once will ya. I'll deal with it" Chance told him, pushing Tim back down on the bed.