The air on Cantonica is hot and dry, but not oppressively so. Not like Jakku.
Canto Bight had been a resort town, after all. The days are arid and crisp with gentle breezes frequently interrupting the heat. The nights are warm and bright with the light of three moons. It feels like a paradise.
And right now, it looks like one. It always does when the suns set and deepen the sky into an amber glow. Thick, fluffy tufts of clouds line the expanse of the heavens, illuminated with golden rays that make them appear translucent and blended. Glittering streaks of light from two red orbs glide across the rippling waters of the Sea of Cantonica and meet to form a brilliant mirage of color dancing above the waves.
But Rey notices none of this. She charges swiftly down the open deck with a to-do list written across her face. Several of the dorm rooms are open, students peering out after her as she flies by. She doesn't stop to greet them like she normally would. Part of her feels guilty about this. But the dominant part doesn't care about anything but the task at hand.
The transport is fueled and ready, packed with everything except for individual cargo. That needs to go onboard too, but only after she double-checks with everyone first. Though she doesn't expect to be gone for long, she told the team it could take a week, even a month to find the Interloper. It's not likely, but it's possible. She needs to ensure everyone packs accordingly. And she needs some one-on-one time with her volunteers. She debriefed them together this morning, but it can be difficult to pinpoint individual reactions from a group. They're all scared... that she does know. And they should be. This mission will be dangerous. Any one of them could get hurt. Or die. Rey must know that each one of them understands this reality and accepts it.
She takes a deep breath and lets it out, banishing a sudden pang of anxiety and striding forward. She's seen everyone on the east side of the school and just told Dyson to come by for their luggage in an hour. Batu and Jessa are on the west side and Ismene's at the north end. But where's Skn Cei? He's not on the east side, is he? Did she miss him?
Rey stops abruptly just before she rams straight into Finn.
"Hey, whoa! You ok?" He holds his hands up, concern in his eyes.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just focused. You're packed and ready to go, right?" Finn nods and starts to say something but Rey cuts him off.
"Good. Give your luggage to Uhde before sundown. Jian's too. You haven't changed your mind about him, have you?"
Finn rolls his eyes. "No, Rey. For the tenth time, I'm ok with bringing Jian. In fact, if I didn't let him come, I honestly think he'd stow away on board, so regardless of what I say, Jian's coming."
Rey sighs and shakes her head, briefly casting her gaze upwards. "He's so eager for something he doesn't understand. I'm not letting him fight with us when it comes to that, Finn." She looks him dead in the eyes. "I don't care what he says. He's eleven years old. It's not time for that yet. He'll know why when he's older."
"I appreciate that, Rey." Finn nods his head towards his friend, then leans in a little. "Good luck keeping him away from the fight." He raises an eyebrow with a wry expression.
"You're not helping with that attitude." She steps around him and begins walking down the long, open deck again.
"I'm just being realistic!" Finn calls, catching up to walk beside her. "I know my son."
"You're making me rethink bringing him at all." Rey spits out, agitated.
"Remember what I said about being a stow away?" He struggles to match her pace.
She huffs. "Maybe we don't have to take off so early tomorrow. Maybe Jian can enhance the team before we leave. Then he can stay here at the school."
"But what if it wears off before we get to the Interloper?" Finn protests. "You told us this morning it could take a month to track him down."
"It's not going to take that long." Rey responds reflexively. "I mean, it's possible and I want the team to understand that. But, it's not going to take that long."
"What makes you so confident?"
"Do you really have to ask?" Rey stops and pivots abruptly to face him. "I've told you, this is our golden opportunity. Now is the time to find the Interloper. We have a better chance now than we ever will. Because Ben is with him. And Finn, trust me when I tell you" she leans in, "I can find Ben. We just need to get to the unknown regions. The closer I am to him, the stronger the bond will be." Rey nods decisively. "I'll be surprised if it takes more than two days."
"Rey, I hope you're right, but you can't be completely sure of that. Otherwise, you wouldn't be running around the school like mad, micromanaging everyone's packing." He gestures wildly as he says this.
"That's not really what I'm doing. I mean, it is, but it's not all I'm doing."
Finn narrows his eyes. "What do you mean?"
Rey steps in closer, lowering her voice.
"Finn, they could die on this mission. You know that. I know that. I need to be absolutely certain each one of them knows that. More importantly, I need to know how each one of them feels about it. No one is stepping foot on that transport tomorrow if I sense just the slightest bit of hesitation tonight. Speaking of which, Meil-Ju and Liam won't be coming with us anymore."
Finn's eyes widen with a mixture of shock and concern. He steps back and drags a hand over his face.
"Rey, I know you think you're doing the right thing, but what's you're actually doing is scaring people. And for what? Slow down and think about it. Why are you doing this? Are you just trying to fool yourself into some peace of mind that everyone who volunteered is ready for this? Because I've got news for you. They're not." He takes a step towards her, gesturing with his right hand. "There's no getting around that. They've only been training for two years and most of that wasn't combat training. That's why we need Jian to come with us. Just him being there will help the team feel more confident. And not only because he can enhance everyone's connection to the Force. He just has that effect on people. You've seen that."
Rey looks down, considering Finn's words. She knows he's right.
"Listen," Finn says, resting a hand gently on her shoulder. "You know I love you like a sister, and you know I'm loyal to you. So, when I say this, please don't take it the wrong way."
Finn closes his eyes, breathing deeply before he opens them again.
"Rey— you need to calm down. Seriously. You've been marching around the school for the last three days, barking orders, lashing out at people. You're putting everyone here on edge, the team especially. The last thing we need is to take off tomorrow morning feeling like our leader is on the verge of a mental breakdown."
Rey bows her head, nodding silently as she listens. She's felt this. She's felt how her own tumultuous emotions— her raging impatience, her manic desire to find the Interloper— have bled into those around her. But she's been too preoccupied to stop and consider the effect this is having on the school, her second family, this tight-knit community she's poured her heart and soul into creating.
Rey shakes her head, her throat tightening. She turns and walks towards the edge of the deck, finally noticing the glorious scene before her. She places her palms on the rail and leans forward, staring off into the disappearing suns. Finn stands silently behind her.
She can't help but feel profoundly disappointed in herself. The whole point of this place was to give Force-sensitives with troubled pasts a stable environment where they can grow in their power and learn to use it for good. But these days, the environment of the academy has been anything but stable. And it's her fault. Rey's beginning to understand why Leia always projected a confident front, despite any doubts or fears she may have had. She knew that a leader sets the tone for her followers. If she's confident in their mission, then they will be. But if she's not...
Rey sighs.
The emergence of the Interloper changed things. Her students were once so purpose-driven, so committed to the idea of becoming guardians of communities plagued by scarcity and crime just like the ones they came from. Now the students are nervous. They're less certain of why they're here, what they're training for.
The mission of this school, the other schools, this whole New Age... Rey sees it so clearly in her mind. She knows exactly what she wants to accomplish and why. Yet in trying to bring it to being, turning the vision into a reality... she's encountered problems that she never imagined. And now the vision is blurred.
"That senator was right, you know." Rey breaks the silence with a heavy voice. "The one who said that the school's mission is muddled now. It is."
She turns around to face Finn, crossing her arms and leaning back against the rail.
"I didn't create this place to hunt down delinquent Force-sensitives. Frankly, I didn't think there'd be a need for that in the first place, and yes, I know, I see now that was a naïve assumption. But my students shouldn't have to pay for my mistake." Rey hardens her jaw decisively.
"I promised to train them to use the Force as a means to defend the people and places they love. Now I'm asking them to go on life-threatening missions to fight Force-wielding terrorists and telling them that policing these kinds of people is now part of what we're doing here." Rey's eyes widen in frustration.
"This isn't right," Rey shakes her head. "It isn't fair to them, or to you, or to Jian. We have to figure out another way to deal with people like the Knights."
Finn crosses his arms, taking a step forward.
"You're right." His gaze is steady. "You are. We have work to do, you and I. We need to get this school back on track, back on mission. But Rey... we've got a big problem to deal with right now and an awesome team of volunteers who are all old enough to decide for themselves if there are some things worth risking their lives for. They've chosen to follow you, Rey. They know the stakes. They know how dangerous the Interloper is, how he could screw up everything we've been working for here. Let them fight to protect what we've built. You owe them that opportunity. And you owe them the confidence of a leader who believes in them."
Rey stands up straight, nodding firmly. He's right... he's right.
She suddenly feels a wave of gratitude overtake her. To have someone like Finn at a time like this, someone who is honest with her, who holds her accountable for her actions but also pledges unwavering loyalty... it inspires her to be a better leader.
"Thank you." She reaches out to briefly lay a hand on his shoulder. Finn's eyes crinkle into a gentle smile.
"Tell you what," he says as he straightens. "I'll finish up checking in with the rest of the team and packing the transport. You go to bed."
"Finn, it's barely sundown."
"So?" He cocks his head flippantly. "You've been up since dawn. I know you're exhausted. You don't have to go to sleep. Just rest. Regroup." He raises his eyebrows, nodding towards her.
She purses her lips, considering the suggestion. "I do need to check in on the girls."
"See!" He raises hands in a mock eureka moment. "There you go. Check on Irenie and Soya. Tell them I said hello. And if Jian is there, tell him to get his butt back to his room." He brings a hand to her back and guides her along the deck. "Leave the rest of the preparations to me— you were just heading to the west end, yeah?"
"And the north," Rey responds. "And I haven't seen Skn Cei yet, wherever he is."
"Got it." He pushes her a little more, and she begins walking towards her quarters on the south end.
Rey hears Finn's footsteps grow more distant behind her. Suddenly, she whips around and calls out to him.
"Hey!"
Finn stops and turns towards her.
"This is all going to be over soon." She projects the words in a calm, confident tone. "Very soon. I can feel it."
He cocks his head in doubt but doesn't say anything. Rey maintains a cool, even gaze.
"I hope so." Finn looks back at her. She senses contradiction— his instinct towards pessimism grating against an instinct to trust her.
"If you can't trust me, Finn, trust in the Force. Reach out for the truth and you'll find it." A corner of her mouth turns up into a knowing half smile.
He tilts his head, a bit mystified, then gives her a mock salute before turning to walk away.
Rey shakes her head in amusement. She watches him leave until he becomes smaller and smaller then disappears behind a corner.
She turns slowly and, for the first time in days, actually strolls down the walkway. Since Takodana, her life has been an endless frenzy of motion. She's barely had time to sleep, much less stroll.
Everything's in disarray. Leia, her mentor, her political powerhouse, is gone. The New Knights are killing senators and kidnapping people. She has no idea where the Interloper is, where Ben is. The Senate is growing increasingly restless, impatient to act. Her school's mission is unfocused; her students are starting to feel lost and uncertain.
Rey should be in utter despair, an absolute wreck. In some ways, she is.
And yet, even as the days grow increasingly turbulent and her insides squirm with anxiety, she feels a deep pull from within, like the roots of an ancient tree growing inside her. It's so strange. But it's been happening since Mustafar and getting stronger. It's her connection to the Force. It's like... being able to read its mind, if it can be said to have such a thing. What she reads is so beyond her capacity understand that she can't really articulate it in a way that makes sense. But this connection has nurtured a part of her that is learning to interpret what she feels. It's like a deeper consciousness. Beneath the immediacy of life in the moment, her joys and fears and doubts and sorrows, lies a consciousness beyond time and space. This is what the Force awakened in her on Mustafar— a new kind of perception.
It's how she knows that everything's coming to a head. Resolution, in whatever form it may take, is just around the corner. The deeper part of her feels calm in the certainty of this.
But this does not banish her anxiety.
It does not help at all that Ben hasn't responded to any of her attempts to reach out to him.
That, more than anything, has increasingly tested her patience and her sanity for the past five days. Five days. It's felt like a lifetime.
It makes sense that the Interloper would knock him unconscious for the first couple of days. He knows who Ben is... why else would he have captured him? He knows how powerful he is. The Interloper wouldn't take any chances with him en route.
But surely he's taken Ben to his hideout by now. So why is he still unconscious? She can't pass a quiet moment without this question nagging at her.
The simplest explanation is that the Interloper wants to mine his thoughts for information. On what? It could be any number of things. The First Order. The Knights of Ren. Knowledge of the Force. Her.
But then, there are the more unsettling possibilities. Has he erased Ben's memories? Or manipulated them to make him think she's his enemy? Has he reprogrammed him into one of his Knights?
No.
She would have felt it if any of these things had happened.
No.
She has faith in her bond with Ben. Faith in their destiny. Faith in the Force. She can't see the road ahead but the calm center in her core knows that whatever the destination, it's exactly where they need to be.
Rey rounds the corner of the deck to the south end and is surprised to see Clea leaning over the rail, gazing out ahead and the sky, her purple robes waving gently in the breeze. When the young woman hears her footsteps approaching, she suddenly straightens and turns to face her. She nervously brings a hand up to her black curls, shaking them a bit, then clasps her hands in front her, bringing her shoulder back and down.
Rey feels a twist in the pit of her stomach. Clea looks as though she's about to deliver bad news...
"Where are the girls?" Rey asks her immediately, concerned.
"They are... asleep," Clea announces a bit too cheerily.
"What?" Rey's eyes widen in surprise. "You're kidding, right? It's only sundown. Even Ben can't get them to bed a second before nine. What did you do today?"
Clea slides her jaw to the right, hesitant. "Well..." she draws out the word. "It's not so much about what we did today as what the girls did last night."
Rey tilts her head, eyebrows knit, curious.
"You see," the young woman continues, "As it turns out... Jian woke them up around midnight and took them out swimming in the ocean. Apparently, they stayed out all night and never slept." She says this last part quickly, wincing a little as though bracing for an impact.
Rey immediately lets out a chuckle, looking down and shaking her head. Clea visibly relaxes a little.
"I'm so, sorry," she tells Rey, stepping forward. "You and Aradia have been so generous letting me come here to learn and the only thing you asked of me in return was to look after the girls, and I completely failed. I should have sensed it when they left. I don't know—"
"You wouldn't have had a chance," Rey cuts her off with a laugh. "Jian's gotten very good at cloaking. And don't be sorry. Honestly, I'm glad to hear the girls are having some fun, going on adventures. It'll help keep their mind off things."
Clea's taking a deep breath now, clearly relieved at Rey's reception of her news.
"How are they?" Rey asks her, failing to conceal an undertone of concern.
"Rey," Clea responds in a gentle voice, brown eyes welling with empathy, "You're worrying yourself too much. They're doing a lot better than you think. Soya, frankly, doesn't quite get the situation. And Jian has been an excellent distraction for Irenie. He's been so good for her, and so supportive of the memory reframing. He's with us when we do it every morning. And she told me today that she's been sleeping better."
Rey lets out a long, satisfying exhale. "That is so good hear. Thank you, Clea. Thank you for everything you're doing. If you weren't—"
Clea stops Rey by raising a palm in the air. "No, no. It's my honor to be here. You have no idea how much I believe in the idea of this place, of building a better future. I should be thanking you for the chance to be a part of it."
Rey smiles and nods her head, fighting to take the compliment without protest and deeply grateful for this small encouragement.
"You should know something before you go." Clea's face suddenly falls solemn. "Irenie did have a bit of a... breakdown today."
Rey's eyebrows shoot up in concern.
"It was nothing terribly serious, just a tantrum." Clea gestures with her right hand. "We had a long talk afterwards and we got to the root of it. She confessed that she feels guilty she never told Ben that she loved him or asked if she could call him dad. Now she's scared she'll never get the chance."
At this, Rey takes a confident step forward, her chin jutting up.
"When Irenie wakes up tomorrow, you tell her that she'll be calling Ben dad by the end of the week."
Clea's eyes widen in surprise, but she doesn't ask Rey about this or challenge her. She simply nods her head in that strange way that seems both eager and hesitant at the same time.
Rey looks down, taking a breath. She looks over towards the door to Irenie and Soya's quarters.
"I suppose I won't be telling them goodbye, then." Rey sighs, then looks up at Clea. "It's just as well. I'm terrible at goodbyes. And I won't be gone long, anyhow."
Clea's face twinges in doubt at this bit she nods anyways.
"How do you feel?" Rey asks her. "Do you need anything before I leave?"
"No," Clea shakes her head. "I've got Uhde to help. And I love it here. Aradia's been talking about sending me for weeks. This has been good. I'm learning a lot I can take back with me to Takodana."
"You're gonna learn a lot more after we track down the Interloper, I promise you that," Rey assures her. "I'll be giving you my full attention."
"Rey, right now, just focus on what you need to do." The young woman lays a gentle hand on her shoulder. "The girls are in good hands." Clea's voice is full of sincerity.
Rey lets out a breath. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Clea bows her head gracefully. Then she nods curtly towards Rey's quarter's just behind her. "Now to bed with you." Clea smirks a little. Rey smiles.
"You don't have to tell me twice." She lays a hand on Clea's shoulder as well and the women embrace for a moment. "I'll be back before you start to miss me," Rey tells her, then pulls away to give a knowing look.
Clea shakes her head a little disbelievingly. "One day," she starts with a smile, "when I truly grow up," she laughs a bit, "I aspire to have your kind of faith in things."
Rey grunts softly and looks down, feeling flattered yet undeserving. She gives one deep nod in response. Then she steps to the side and makes her way to her quarters.
When she reaches the door, she enters the passcode in the panel next to it.
The lights turn on gently as she enters the room. It's not in the best shape... junk strewn across the floor, dead flower petals and detritus piling up on the bedside table, sheets crumpled and twisted around the bedpost.
Rey heads straight for the bed and sinks down slowly onto the mattress. She pulls off her boots and socks then tosses them to the side. She peels off her jacket and casts it across the room.
She takes a deep breath into her lungs, then releases slowly and deliberately, a long, endless stream of air pouring out of her. It seems to carry with it the weight of the emotions that have been bearing down on her all week— the anxiety, the anger, the fear.
It's all going to be over soon. Some part of her takes solace in that. But another part worries about how all of this will resolve. After all, resolution isn't in itself a good thing... she might not like the results.
Rey scoots back on the bed and leans forward to rest her elbows on her knees.
She can't help but feel that this tension inside her would go away if she knew for sure that Ben was alright. If she could just hear his voice in her mind, telling her that he's ok. That would be all she needed.
She must have reached out to him a thousand times since the Knights took him. She's focused on that feeling, the pure warmth of selfless love, calling out to him through the Force, through the connection they share.
But silence has been the answer every time.
A tear forms at the corner of her eye and slips down her cheek. Why isn't he answering? What has the Interloper done to him?
Rey clasps her hands together and pulls her shoulders down.
She's going to find him... it's the one thing she's sure the Interloper can't undo or interfere with: her bond with Ben. They'll get to the unknown regions tomorrow and she'll follow her Force senses right to him.
Suddenly, her shoulders hang heavy. Another tear escapes down her cheek.
No matter how many times she tells herself this, she just can't banish the nervous gnawing in her stomach.
Rey squeezes her eyes shut as several more tears stream down her face. She takes a breath sharply and holds it in. She thinks about Ben... she thinks about his heart, about the compassion he's capable of. She thinks about the man he's becoming, what an excellent father he is to Irenie and Soya. She just knew he'd be a natural at it. Because at the root of all of his angry outbursts, his malcontent, is just a lonely boy who yearned for unconditional love. When presented with the opportunity, he gave this generously to two little girls who desperately needed it. He can be such a good man when he lets himself be one...
The warmth of pure love, full and unguarded, wells within her. She squeezes her eyes tighter and channels the feeling to reach out, reach out through the Force... she can't stop herself. She knows she'll be disappointed. But she just needs him. She needs him. She needs to reach out to him.
She wants him so badly she can sense his presence in the room with her, the ultimate wish fulfillment, the creation of a deep, primal desire.
She pushes the air out of her lungs forcefully, sitting up and bringing a palm to her face to wipe away tears. She shakes her head and turns.
Ben's sitting right next to her.
Rey freezes, uncertain if she's seeing things. Is this real? She reaches over tentatively to his face... her fingertips touch his warm flesh.
Immediately, she flings herself into his arms, sobbing. He embraces her, pulling her back on the bed with him and bringing her body close to his. She practically curls up in his lap, burying her face in his chest, wrapping her arms tightly around him as though she's terrified he'll disappear. He lays back against the bed panel, cupping the back of her head with his hand. He holds her close, rocking her gently.
"I'm alright. It's alright," he keeps telling her.
Gradually her sobs die away and they both just lose themselves in the embrace, the body heat, the warmth of flesh and blood that seems to merge them, two halves coming together to complete a whole.
Suddenly, Rey sits up, scooting back, eyes urgent.
"What did he do to you? How were you able to answer me this time? Did you escape?"
Ben looks away, leaning forward. "I didn't escape."
Silence. Rey waits for a few moments but he doesn't volunteer any more information.
"How are the girls?" He asks, concerned, looking over at her.
"They're fine," Rey assures him. "Clea and I have been looking after them. Irenie's sleeping better, but she's worried about you. Soya doesn't really understand what's going on. But, they're both ok." Ben nods his head, satisfied by this answer, then looks away again, hunching over to rest his elbows on his knees.
"Are you ok?" Rey asks tentatively after a few seconds. "I mean, you seem ok. What's been going on? What's he been doing to you?" She looks at him eager for an answer but he doesn't return her gaze. Instead, he stands up and takes a few steps towards the window. He crosses his arms, his back to her.
"Ben?" Rey starts to feel uneasy. She's tempted to read his mind, but she fights the impulse.
"He hasn't done anything to me," Ben finally says. "He's been quite hospitable, actually. He put me in better quarters than his Knights. I've been... getting to know them over the past few days."
Rey's stomach drops at these last words. At first, she's stunned, completely shocked. Then the realization begins to creep over her like a low, angry rumble.
"Wait a minute." She adjusts herself forward on the bed. Ben stands unmoving, his back still to her.
"You've been conscious and fully in control of yourself for days?" She asks the question in denial. He doesn't answer her.
Her mouth gapes open and her face begins to flush. "I must have reached out to you..." she scoffs, "I don't know how many times. I lost count. Did you not feel that, Ben?" Her voice grows more insistent.
"I felt it." He answers flatly.
Now, Rey's chest starts to burn. She stands abruptly, her body taut.
"So... if you felt it, why didn't you respond?" The question sounds like an accusation.
Ben doesn't answer her immediately. Every second he waits, she feels the fire inside her burn hotter. "I needed some time... to process," he says finally.
She lets out a short huff of disbelief. "You needed time to process." She repeats the words half mocking, half incredulous.
"Yes." His voice is detached, distracted even.
"Ben." Rey's voice rises as she takes several steps towards him. "You have got to be kidding me." She stands right next to him, looking up with piercing eyes. He still stares straight ahead.
"Look. At. Me." Each word strikes like a dagger. He glances down. "You mean you didn't once consider answering in my mind, just to let me know you were ok, just to let me know you weren't dead?"
"If I had died, you would have felt it," he replies matter-of-factly.
Rey fumes. She hasn't wanted to physically hurt him in quite some time, but she is this close...
She lets out an angry breath and reels back, turning a heel and take two quick steps away before whipping around.
"So, you're telling me that you couldn't be bothered to take a couple of seconds to let me know that you were alive and unharmed and would tell me more when you were able to?" Rey's hands are pressed tightly against her hips, her shoulders tense and squared.
Ben grunts and turns towards her. "Yes, because you would have just accepted that answer, right?" He retorts sarcastically.
Rey reels back again, starting to boil over. "I cannot believe you!" She sputters. "I have been out of my mind for days, terrified..." She brings her palms to her temple, shaking her head.
Suddenly, Ben strides over to the side of the room to grip the edge of a chair and drag it just past the window. He sits and plants his feet wide, leaning forward with a straight back, looking over at her with razor-sharp focus in his eyes.
"Sit down." He commands, casting a glance over to the bed. Rey crosses her arms defiantly.
"Sit down," he repeats, enunciating each word.
Rey blinks, unmoving. His gaze pierces hers. She takes a step towards him... and reaches inside his mind.
A few seconds later, Rey gasps, uncrossing her arms. She looks up, a flash of realization in her eyes, then immediately turns back, bowing her head, focused intently on nothing. She walks to the bed and sits down.
She crosses her legs on the mattress, hands folded in her lap, staring ahead, eyes glazed over, dazed.
Ben sits on the chair directly across from her, looking at the floor, waiting for her to say something.
Rey's stunned, almost numb. Her mouth feels dry... she tries to gulp but instead a knot gets stuck in her throat. She brings a hand up to her neck, forcing herself to open her throat and breathe.
"So..." she begins finally, uncertain. "They asked you to join them. The Knights. They're like you. They think the Force is... evil?"
"They think it's dangerous," Ben replies, eyes still downcast. "They think you're putting the galaxy at risk by training people to use it. Everything they're doing... it's to scare the Senate into shutting down your schools."
The room falls silent. Deafeningly so. Rey feels her heartbeat pumping in her chest, faster than usual.
"They..." Ben continues slowly, "don't exactly understand what the Force is. Not really. Zax has been telling them all kinds of lies, subjecting them to piss-poor training exercises. But here's what they do understand— Paplatine, Vader, Snoke, me... we all used Force power to dominate and kill things, including their homes and their families. They're refugees. The First Order displaced them, took away everything they loved. Rey..." He lets out a long breath and buries his face in a palm.
"I..." he starts but can't seem to finish. He drags his hand down then looks out into nothing. "There are a couple of them..." he begins again but still can't complete the sentence. Instead, his shoulders drop. Rey feels the emotion weighing down on him as if it were her own.
Guilt.
It knocks the breath out of her, a punch in the gut followed by nauseating sensation, a heaviness that's somehow sickening.
"There are a couple of them whose families I killed with my own hand." He finally says the words. They seem to land like a bomb exploding in the center of the room.
"Including Zax. The Interloper."
Rey sits up straight, eyes wide with shock.
"I killed his younger brother." Ben's tone is dispassionate but she feels everything he's feeling as he speaks. He's being torn apart. By guilt. Regret. Shame. Grief.
"The thing is..." now his voice begins to fill with emotion. "I remember it. I actually remember it. I remember rounding the barricade, I remember approaching him... he was so small. A child. Not much older than Jian. I remember hesitating." His eyes are pained, distant... then suddenly he scoffs, leaning back in the chair and shaking his head in disbelief.
"I was so determined to prove I was detached entirely from sentiment, that I was beyond all feelings of compassion and longing and regret. I was a fool." He spits out the last words, then runs a hand through his hair. "I think about it. I think about it all the time. How many people and places did I destroy to prove something to Snoke, to myself? It was all just a means to an end. And I believed in the end with such conviction. It seemed to justify everything I was doing to get there." He shakes his head again, closing his eyes for a moment.
Suddenly, he leans forward, propping his elbows on his knees. He gazes angrily into the corner of the room as though he were staring down his worst enemy.
"I think about the way I was then... so zealous, so petulant, so entrenched in ideology, so absolutely certain that I was acting for the good of the galaxy..." His voice trails off, eyes softening. "Really... how different was I from the way Zax is now?" He lets the question linger in the air a few moments. "Not very. Hardly at all."
Rey listens, still sitting cross-legged on the bed, taking in everything Ben has told her. All the anger in her is gone, washed away completely. She understands now. She understands why Ben didn't answer her when she reached out to him. She understands why he needed to process.
What's happening to him right now... it's his reckoning. And truth be told, it's long overdue. Rey loves Ben. She loves him very much. But this pain he's feeling now is something he must go through. He needs this. He needs to be confronted with the consequences of his past in a way that feels personal. And he needs an opportunity... an opportunity to try to make up for what he did.
"I owe you an apology." Ben's voice interrupts her thoughts. She looks up at him, surprised. "Since the funeral... since I learned about the Knights... I've blamed all of this on you. The Interloper. His terrorizing the Senate. Don't get me wrong." He glances over at her. "You are responsible for what's happened." He looks away. "But so am I." His eyes are dark, intense yet faraway at the same time.
"If I'd never come to his home with the First Order..." His voice sounds distant. "If I'd never destroyed his village, killed everyone he ever knew or loved, slaughtered his brother before his eyes... where would Zax be now? Would he still be with his family? Would he be at one of your schools?" He shakes his head. "I don't know. We'll never know. Because I did destroy his home. I left him stranded and hurt and utterly alone. I left wounds to fester in his mind, to twist him into—" Ben stiffens, stopping himself abruptly.
A monster, Rey finishes inwardly.
He casts his eyes downward, twitching his jaw, as if he heard her. "I traumatized him, drove him to insanity... and you endowed him with power that makes him feel like a god." He looks up to the ceiling for a moment, then turns to give Rey a foreboding look. "Trust me when I tell you," he leans forward, eyes boring into hers. "That's a terrifying combination."
Rey's stomach drops at the way he intones this warning. She tries to maintain her gaze but it's hard when she's struggling to breath evenly. She uncrosses her legs and hangs them over the bed looking down.
Now she needs to process... but it doesn't take long before questions begin to filter into mind, swimming urgently.
But where to start?
"You said..." she begins tentatively, trying to decide which question to ask first. "The Interloper... Zax. You said he's been telling the Knights lies. About what? What do you mean?"
Ben grunts. "Well, first of all, he has a very different agenda than the Knights, though they're completely unaware of that. You were partially right about them being under his thrall. He manipulates them whenever it suits him. They disagree with him? He forces agreement. They find out something he doesn't want them to know? He erases it. He even plants ideas in their minds... ideas he knows will be problematic if he suggests them."
"Like killing the senators?" Rey leans in eagerly.
"No." Ben answers emphatically. "Rey, they're under his thrall, but they're not puppets. The big decisions, the ones that matter... they make those by themselves. He selected them because they all fear the Force. They're all terrified of another First Order, another Kylo Ren. And those who are Force-sensitive worry what it will do to them."
Rey looks down, bringing a hand to her temple as if she's nursing a headache. Then she sighs and rests a thumb to her lips, thinking.
"How many are Force-sensitive?" She asks, looking back over at Ben.
"Five of them are, four of them aren't," Ben replies. "Those who are haven't developed their abilities much. Zax claims to be teaching them, but it's mostly smoke and mirrors. He doesn't really have the slightest interest in training them. And they're reluctant to learn in the first place."
"So..." Rey tilts her head in confusion, "What's Zax's agenda in all this? What's he after?"
Ben visibly stiffens, still leaning forward with his elbows propped on his knees.
"I'm not..." he begins cautiously, "I'm not sure. It's not exactly easy to get into his head." He lets out a puff of air and sits back in his seat, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows. "His mental defenses are very advanced. Like nothing I've ever seen. I've only been able to enter his mind once and that was just because I caught him off guard. But what little I saw was disturbing." His voice sounds ominous.
"What did you see?" Rey asks insistently.
"Death," Ben answers immediately. "A lot of death. The Knights, they just want Force-sensitives to remain untrained, unable to wield their power. But Zax?" He shakes his head, eyes darkening. "Based on what I saw... he wants to eliminate them."
"What!?" Rey leaps up without thinking, a mixture of panic and anger in her voice. "Like a genocide?"
"I am not certain of this," he reminds her with warning in his voice. "The only thing I am certain of is that he believes in some sort of 'Elect.'" Rey knits her eyebrows, uncertain.
"He thinks a select few, like himself, should be able to channel the power of the Force. But for everyone else..." he lets his voice trail off.
Rey retakes her seat on the bed slowly, eyes swimming with worry. She begins to rub her hands together anxiously, thinking about her schools... the galaxy's new Force-sensitives all concentrated together in three specific places... they're all targets.
"Tell me where he is." Rey's head snaps up to Ben. "I've already organized a team to hunt him down. We leave tomorrow. Tell me where he is and we'll go straight there and help you take him down."
"That's a fool's errand, Rey," Ben replies without skipping a beat. "If you do that, your team will die, possibly you along with them. You think your schools are vulnerable now? Imagine if they didn't have you to protect them."
"How are you so certain this is a fight we can't win?"
"Rey," Ben's voice grows deeper and more resonant. "I've seen this man bring an entire room to its knees. He can project a shrill ringing in people's minds, paralyze them, confuse them, alter their perception of what's around them. And he can do this to multiple people at once. Easily. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he could do it to a larger group, an entire city possibly. And he can take over a person's mind entirely. Didn't you ever wonder how one Knight was able to capture me by himself? It wasn't him, it was Zax inhabiting him. He knocked the entire room unconscious before we any of us could react."
Rey leans forward on the bed, letting go a sigh that comes out as a groan. This is what she's been afraid of... a part of her knew it all along, but couldn't admit it.
"He's too powerful, Rey." Ben shakes his head decisively. "If you and I both fought him together, there's a chance we could survive. A chance. But victory?" His lips purse wryly. "I know I'm no match for him. I don't think you are either."
Rey grits her teeth in frustration.
"What about the Knights?" She asks.
"What about them?"
"So far, Zax has been working primarily through them. If they knew what he was really up to... do you think they'd turn on him?"
"Absolutely not!"
Rey jumps a little as Ben shouts this.
"I mean..." he begins in a more even tone, "I think they'd disapprove of his true intentions. But remember Solomon?" Rey doesn't recognize the name...
"The prisoner," he clarifies and her head jerks back, realizing what he's getting at. "I think if any of them try to turn on him or attack him, they'll end up just like that man. And, even if that weren't the case, it wouldn't take long for him to see what they were up to. Trust me. Being around Zax these past few days has been like walking through a minefield, and I've lived my whole life hiding things from people who can read my mind. They don't stand a chance."
Rey's shoulders drop, a sense of defeat beginning to creep in. The room falls quiet for a minute as both of them take in everything that's been said. Suddenly, she remembers something and looks up.
"I heard from Aradia today," she tells Ben. His head snaps towards her expectantly. "She's making progress with the pri— Solomon?" Ben nods. "She said she's confident she can undo the damage and keep his mind intact."
"That's extremely good news." Ben sits back, cupping his chin with his thumb and index finger, nodding thoughtfully. "If the Knights, by some miracle, can make it out of this alive, they're going to need her." Suddenly, Ben narrows his eyes and cocks his head, considering something. He brings his hand down.
"Rey?"
"What?" She asks cautiously.
"You told the Senate that Aradia is just as powerful as Zax, if not more so, did you not?" His eyes fix on hers. She looks down.
"I did."
"So..." He shakes his head as if what comes next is self-evident. "Is she not our best chance against Zax?" Rey sighs and looks up at the ceiling.
"She would be."
"Would be?" He raises his voice.
Rey sighs. "She doesn't believe in violence, Ben. Of any kind. 'Do no harm.' That's the bedrock of her school. She'll defend, but she won't attack."
"That sounds like Jedi bullshit." Ben cuts into her with snarking contempt. "I thought your precious New Age was all about exploring the Force beyond the Jedi-Sith binary." He says this in a mocking tone.
"It is," she replies forcefully, leaning forward. "That's Aradia's school. It's her gifts she's teaching. She's the one who calls the shots. But that's her school. It's not the only one. You haven't seen Kran's school. You haven't seen mine. And clearly, my school isn't driven by a philosophy of passivity. That's the whole point of the New Age, Ben. For there to be many ways to understand how to use the Force, not just one."
Ben's eyes narrow with a hint of suspicion.
"So tell me— how is your school is different from the Jedi?" Rey flinches, a bit surprised by his sudden curiosity. She takes a moment to process the question.
"Well..." she begins slowly. "There are a lot of differences. But the main one is that..." Rey hesitates. "We use the Force differently."
Ben's eyes darken instantly.
"What do you mean?" He asks, dubious.
"I mean... I mean that the Jedi were very... selective in how they channeled Force power."
Ben waits for a few seconds and then raises an eyebrow as if to say "continue."
"The Jedi drew from the Force through emotions like peace, serenity, calm... I teach my students this... but not only this."
"What else?" His voice grows increasingly wary.
For a split second, Rey rolls her eyes. Then she collects herself with a breath.
"The students who come here all have one thing in common," she begins. "They were abandoned. Or abducted. Either way, they all grew up without families. Many of them were in situations where they were treated like property. Most of them were property. And they were subject to all kinds of things... terrible things. Things that would make your stomach turn. Things that would make you very angry..." Rey pauses for a moment. "The Force-sensitives here... they all have a lot of anger inside them. Anger that's rooted deep in their experiences, so deep it's become a part of who they are. I don't try to teach them to suppress it because that would be asking something unrealistic. Instead... I teach them to channel it."
"Rey!" Ben's eyes fly wide open. "You are certainly joking, right?" This sounds less like a question and more of an admonishment. "You do not have the slightest notion of what you are doing, of where this will lead— "
"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering," Rey recites the words in an almost robotic tone. "That's the path to the Dark Side you're referring to, no? Look who's spouting Jedi bullshit now?"
Ben squints, annoyed but silenced by this, at least for the moment.
"Ben, let me ask you something." Rey resituates to sit cross-legged on the bed. "I want you to think back for a minute. Think back to your time with the First Order. Think back to a time when you lost your temper, destroyed something in anger. Surely it can't be that hard to think of a specific instance."
He looks away from her, rolling his eyes slightly. Rey sits silently, patiently, for a minute.
"Now," she breaks the silence, "Think back to how you felt on the day of your mother's funeral, when the New Knights attacked, when you thought your past was coming back to life. You felt angry, didn't you?" Ben doesn't respond. He still looks straight ahead, thinking.
"The anger you felt then... was that the same anger you felt with the First Order? Or was it different?" Ben still doesn't respond, but Rey can feel him struggling, grappling with what she's asking him to see.
"It wasn't," Rey answers for him. "It wasn't because anger isn't a monolith. There isn't just one kind of anger. Emotions are more complex than that. It's true, some emotions are very clearly good or bad, but most of them aren't that simple. Like anger. The anger you felt with the First Order— that was a destructive, petulant anger. But the anger you felt at the funeral? That was a righteous anger. It's the same kind of anger I felt after you stole the Jedi texts from me. It's the anger Leia felt after you went rogue with Poe and wiped out the rest of the First Order. It's the anger my students feel when they think back on how the masters treated them and other slaves. Ben, that kind of anger can be a good thing. It motivates people to act when they would otherwise just observe. The Jedi never understood that."
Ben's not looking at her. He's sitting back in the chair, arms crossed, eyes lost in a deep, meditative gaze.
Rey sits up. "Ben, listen. I know you don't think much of your uncle, and I understand that. But he did teach me something very valuable. The Jedi don't own the Force. They never did. That doesn't mean their way of understanding the Force is wrong. It just means it's not the only way. The Jedi and Sith tore the galaxy apart for centuries in defense of their way of the Force as the "right" way. It's time to grow beyond that." She brings a knee up and tucks a leg into her body, wrapping her forearm around her shin and leaning forward a bit. Her eyes are intense, almost pleading.
"Ben, this is why the Force brought us together, lead us to Mustafar. This was the whole point of releasing the power of the artifacts, increasing the number of Force-sensitives in this galaxy. More people using the Force means more chances to truly understand it, from many different perspectives. And look what's been happening." Her voice swells. "We're finding the Force can do things that neither the Jedi nor the Sith ever discovered. Things that can help us make changes in the galaxy, changes that we need for a shot at building an actual lasting peace."
Ben blinks, deadpan. "Rey, there's a genocidal, Force-sensitive maniac at large as we speak. An unnervingly powerful one. As a direct result of what you did. Explain to me, how exactly does that change help the galaxy achieve a lasting peace?"
Rey takes in a frustrated breath and blows it out into the room, exasperated. She rests her chin on her knee for a moment, wrapping her arms around the leg propped in front of her. She gazes out towards the window, thinking. She can see one of Cantonica's moons lighting up the darkened skies. Suddenly, she sits up a bit, looking pointedly at Ben.
"Let's say..." she begins in a speculative tone, "that I took your hand when you offered it to me in the volcano, and together we destroyed the power of the artifacts, weakening the Force so no one could use it." She narrows her eyes, shifting her head slightly. "How long do you think that would have lasted?" Ben looks away.
Silence.
He shifts in the chair, angling away from her, leaning over to rest his elbows on his knees again. He clasps his hands lightly in front of him.
More silence.
With his face turned, Rey can't quite see his expression. But she can sense his emotions. Two opposing forces at war, denial and resignation.
"I don't know," he answers finally. A few more moments pass.
"Do you think it would have lasted forever?" Rey's voice is even, solemn.
He bows his head, sighing. Another minute passes in silence.
"Ben...," she begins gently, "I think we both know that it wouldn't have lasted forever. It may have lasted for our lifetime. And our children's lifetime. And our grandchildren's. But eventually, centuries into the future, the Force would have steadily and patiently regained its former strength, continuing along its inevitable path. And when it did, there'd be another Anakin. Or another Ben Solo. Or another Zax. Only this time, he'd be born into a galaxy that didn't understand the Force at all. Is this situation really any better for achieving a lasting peace?" Rey leans towards Ben, but he's still looking down, looking away from her.
"The Force..." she continues, "it's part of this galaxy. It's part of who we are. This energy, this tension connecting us all... it's the reason we exist in the first place. You might be able to weaken it, but you'll never be able to destroy it. Not without destroying the universe too. And as long as it's here, it will continue to do what it does— stretch out, grow stronger, forever seeking balance in different forms. And there will always be people like you and me. People strong in the Force, sensitive to its power. If this is inevitable, isn't it better to learn about it than shun it entirely? Learn how to use it, how to manage its use, to find a way to balance its gifts with its dangers?" She feels Ben grow heavy as she asks these questions, her tone becoming more insistent, more earnest. She stops, sitting back, relaxing her shoulders, letting the room grow quiet.
Her breathing is deep and even. She feels calm even as Ben's emotions storm through her. He's working through what she's said, testing it, probing it, searching for ways around it. He clenches a fist, still leaning forward in the chair.
"Ben, would you do something for me?" Rey asks the question suddenly. Finally, he sits up and looks over at her.
"Will you..." she hesitates, looking down momentarily. "Will you come into my mind, my point of view? Just for a few minutes?"
Ben grimaces, half-annoyed at the suggestion. "This is no time for games, Rey."
"This isn't a game," she replies. "I need you to feel something." Her voice is insistent. "It won't take long. Just long enough for me to go over and check on the girls while they sleep. And that will give you a chance to see them." His eyes soften a bit. He twitches his jaw, considering.
"Come on." Her eyes plead with him. He looks down for a moment. Then he gets up and walks over to her, sitting down on the bed, turning inward.
They both sit still, looking at one another for a minute. They feel exhausted, emotionally and physically. Their eyes are a bit guarded, uncertain.
"Do you remember how to do this?" she asks him.
"I remember." He sounds reluctant.
"I know it's hard," she answers softly. She closes her eyes and straightens her posture, resting her hands lightly on her knees. She focuses on clearing her mind, breathing evenly, feeling calm. This will make it easier for him.
She sits still, feeling the tension of the bond between them. He's struggling to let go...
They both know what she's up to. When he enters her mind, her point of view, he'll sense her enhanced connection to the Force. And if Rey pulls him in deeply enough... he'll be able to feel her ability to read it, to experience its intentions. She can feel that this idea scares him, though she's not sure why.
Rey bows her head, reaching into herself, searching for something... the right memory... the right emotion. Ah. Of course. She lets herself descend into the recesses of her mind. It's dark. It's cold and damp. She's wrapped in a rough-hewn blanket, hair still wet from falling into the cave. She's reaching a hand tentatively over the flickering of the fire pit in front of her, reaching for him... they've never tried to touch through the bond before. They're both nervous yet they can't resist the magnetic energy that seems to draw them nearer to one another... a Force that neither of them understand...
Rey jerks back and breathes in deeply. She feels a second presence, a second consciousness, enter her mind. A passive observer. She would say the sensation feels unwelcome but, technically, she did invite him. She just forgot how strange this feels...
Rey gets up, eyes still closed, and walks towards the door. They haven't done this in a while. She needs to take it slow. She presses the panel and the door whirs open. She walks out into the crisp night air. Finally, she opens her eyes slowly.
She looks up into the sky, a trio of moons cascading down to the sea, the moonlight glistening against the rippling water.
She takes in the scene before her, trying to breath evenly, keep her mind clear for the moment. She feels so exposed... it's not just that he can see through her eyes. He's in her perspective, the way she feels and thinks. He's in her spirit. But this is the reason why she asked him to do this... and she can't waste any time.
So, she just begins to think. She begins to think as she turns and walks towards the door to Clea and the girls' quarters.
She thinks about the first time she entered Ben's mind, his perspective. It was a moment of revelation for her... He'd mentioned a couple of times about the effects of channeling the dark side, how it corroded the spirit. But it's the kind of thing one can't understand until they feel it for themselves...
The door whirs open and Rey enters the main room, pitch black. She walks forward, easily sensing her way through the darkness.
After that, she better understood why he feels the way he does about the Force. It is dangerous. It's not just that it can be used to cause great harm to others. It can inflict unimaginable harm on the person using it.
She presses a panel and the door to the girls' room opens. She steps in, the space dimly lit by two soft lights glowing on either end of the ceiling. The girls are buried under several blankets just ahead. Neither of them stir as Rey moves quietly towards them.
Yes, the Force is capable of being used for great evil. But it can also be used for great good. Case in point...
Rey stops next to the bed, looking down at Irenie. The girl's turned on her side, eyes closed, face serene and peaceful.
The Force can be used to give young ones like Irenie the chance at a full night of sleep, a chance to reset their lives and move on from terrors that they never should have experienced in the first place.
Rey leans down to give the girl a soft kiss on the forehead. She stands and begins making her way to the other side of the bed.
The Force can be used to remake planets like Jakku, creating bounty where once there was nothing.
She stops next to Soya, curled in a ball with her knees in her chest, her hair messily flung over her face. Rey reaches out to brush a few strands back before leaning down to kiss her cheek. She stirs slightly.
Becoming sensitive to the Force... aware of its presence all around her, connecting her to the whole galaxy. This was the moment her life started to mean something. It gave her a purpose. A destiny.
Rey feels that pull deep inside her... the roots reaching ever further, drawing her into that other-worldly perception, that language of the Force, something so ancient and so visceral it defies understanding. But she doesn't need to fully understand it... she just needs to feel it. And she needs him to feel it too.
"Rey..." Irenie's voice, muffled, jerks her from her thoughts. She crosses the room to her side of the bed.
The girl wipes her eyes and turns on her back, looking up bleary eyed. "What are you doing here? Did you find dad already?"
Instantly, Rey feels her heart twist with a mixture of pain, love, and longing. She feels the emotions like they're hers, but they're not. It's Ben... hearing Irenie call him Dad.
"No, we haven't left yet. I just wanted to kiss you both goodbye." She reaches out to stroke the girl's forehead. She still feels Ben's emotions stirring inside her, bubbling over, blending with her own.
"That's nice." The girl gives Rey a sleepy half smile then rolls over. Rey turns and heads for the door. It whirs open and she steps through, making her way through the darkness again.
She thinks about what she told Irenie earlier in the evening... that she would be calling Ben dad by the end of the week. She thinks about what she told her about faith, about what it means to think with your heart instead of your head. Then Rey reaches deep inside herself and surrenders completely to that warm, calm certainty that fills her with the knowledge that this will all be over soon... Zax, the Interloper... his Knights... the Senate's fever pitch of panic... This New Age teetering on the edge of a knife... resolution is coming. A part of her fears it. But the stronger part has faith that the Force did not lead her all the way here, to this moment, to destroy everything she's worked so hard to build. She's here now because she's destined to be here. And so is Ben. Because this isn't just her destiny. It's theirs. They are the tools through which the Force is working to create balance in the galaxy. Two minds that appear to be opposed... but upon a closer look, are perfect complements.
Rey walks back out into the night, a cool breeze tickling her skin. As the door closes behind her, she squeezes her eyes shut, standing perfectly still.
Can't you feel that, Ben? Can't you feel your destiny? Our destiny?
She loses herself in her connection to the Force, dipping down beneath her human consciousness and bringing Ben with her. She becomes one with a perception that defies all logic. And she meditates there as time melts away. There are no longer the familiar trappings of a mortal mind. It's an expansive state, infinite. A contradiction, at once constantly in motion and forever still. There is a serenity here, a serenity of the eternal. The quiet certainty that long ago in a galaxy far, far away... and right now... and in a future that's too distant to conceive of... there will always be this. An everlasting Force. A Force that binds the galaxy together. A Force that resides quietly in the beings who inhabit it.
Rey opens her eyes slowly, taking in the scene of night sky once more. Then she turns and walks back to the door of her own quarters, pressing the panel to open it. As she enters the room, she feels Ben's consciousness slowly lift out of her mind, her spirit... her eyes are her own again. Her thoughts private.
He's still sitting on the bed, his back turned slightly to her. She leans against the door, giving him some time to recover.
This mind merging ability... it's intense enough on its own. But she's never done what she just did a moment ago, descending deep into her connection with the Force while he was with her. She's had three years since Mustafar to adjust to the sensation. For him, it was undoubtedly an experience he was entirely unprepared for.
She waits patiently, feeling calm at first. But then several minutes pass and he still sits unmoving. She begins to grow uneasy. Perhaps she went too far...?
Rey bites her lip, anxious. She starts to consider it... she knows she shouldn't, but it's so tempting and she's getting increasingly impatient...
She reaches out to into his mind.
A second later, he stands abruptly, glancing over at her with annoyance. She looks away sheepishly, and he walks towards the window. He crosses his arms and gazes out over the ocean. Rey moves to the bed and takes a seat, looking at him tentatively.
They stay like this for a minute.
"I think I know what we need to do." Ben's deep voice finally breaks the silence. His back is still to her.
"About the Interloper?"
"Yes," he confirms.
"I'm listening." Her tone is open, expectant.
Ben stands quietly for a moment, arms still crossed and feet firmly planted.
"Zax asked me to do something for him... a favor. A show of loyalty to him." He turns to face her, arms still crossed, eyes determined. "I think I should do it."
Rey catches her breath. She seems to have lost it for a moment.
"What did he ask you to do?" She can't disguise the fear in her voice. Ben breaks his cool gaze, looking down for a second before looking up with reservation.
"You're not going to like it, Rey." The look he gives her makes her stomach turn slightly. "You're really not going to like it."
"That's... comforting." Rey gulps. "So, what is it?" She leans towards him with eager eyes.
Ben blinks. "I think it's better if you don't know." Her eyebrows furrow as she tilts her head in disbelief.
"What... why do you say that?" She tries to sound calm but her tone is tense.
"Because if you know, you'll keep me from doing it," he replies matter-of-factly.
Rey's eyes widen. "Are you kidding me? Why would I possibly agree to that?"
Ben cocks his head and raises an eyebrow in a way that seems half-patronizing.
"Because you trust me. Because you have faith in me..."
Her jaw hardens a bit, bruised by the hint of mocking she detects in his tone.
"Ben— "
"Rey," he interrupts her. "Is what I'm asking you right now really that different from what you asked me to do that day in the volcano?"
"Ben!" She sounds exasperated. "You were dying. I didn't exactly have time to explain things to you."
"Yes..." he drags out the word with a doubtful tenor, "But really, Rey? Wasn't that just a convenience? Be honest with yourself. You knew that if you told me what you were planning to do that I wouldn't agree to it. So, you asked me to have faith in you, and I did. Now it's time for you to have faith in me." He steps forward, eyes intent on hers.
Rey stands and takes a step towards him, returning his gaze deeply. There's something about him that seems different... there's a calmness in him. A certainty. She hasn't felt this kind of cool, calculated resolve in him in quite some time.
Rey takes in a breath, her stomach churning. She'd love nothing more than to read his mind, to see what he has planned... she pushes into his thoughts almost without meaning to.
"Rey!" He protests immediately, jaw hardening. "No. You either have faith in me, or you don't. Which one is it?"
She sighs, crossing her arms, a resigned expression registering on her face.
"Ok," she assents softly, nodding her head a bit. Ben nods back, letting out a breath.
"What do you need me to do?" she asks him.
"Cancel your mission tomorrow," he commands. "Keep your students here, but go yourself to Takodana. Get Aradia and Solomon and bring them back here. Then wait until my signal."
"What signal?"
"I'll reach out to you through the bond," he tells her.
"If you're lucky, I'll respond." She says this a bit cheekily.
He grunts, then steps towards her. His expression softens as he stops right in front of her, looking down at her with an unmistakable emotion beginning to surface in his dark, black eyes. She feels it too, a warmth rising from within.
Tethered together through the bond, they feel it almost as one sensation... the love that draws them to one another despite all the things that pull them apart.
Ben brings a hand up and touches Rey's cheek gently with the back of his fingers, letting it linger then slide down deliberately to the curve of her jaw. She looks up at the handsome angles of his face, the scar she gave him still cutting across left cheek. His fingers stop under her chin, pushing to tilt her face slightly upwards.
"I think you're right." His voice is deep and resonant. His eyes are calm with purpose. "All of this... it's almost over."
Her heart swells at these words, an excitement competing with an uneasiness in her belly. He begins to lean down as though he's about to kiss her but stops just in front of her face. A flash of something— regret, maybe?— crosses his eyes briefly before he drops his hand and takes a step back.
He continues to look down at her, his expression growing more solemn.
"You'll hear from me soon," he says the words quietly. Not a moment later, he vanishes.
Rey stands alone in the center of the room. She'd like to move but she can't seem to command her limbs. Her mind slowly shakes itself free of its numbness and she begins to process what she's feeling... a very dissonant combination of emotions. Something in her feels satisfied, validated in a way she hasn't felt before. Ben... she got to him tonight. Really got to him. A part of her feels confident she can interpret what happened as a sure sign that he's finally accepted it— their destiny together. And yet another part of her aches with a vaguely formed dread...
Rey turns, finally, and walks over to sink down on the bed. She brings her legs up on the mattress and moves to her side, curling towards the wall. She reaches out to turn off the lights in the room.
Blackness.
Rey lies still, listening to the sound of her breath, even and steady.
Why is she feeling this way? Why can she not banish this ominous shadow in her mind?
There's the fact that Ben is about to do something she will disapprove of. He was very clear on that point. But no... that's not really not at the root of it. There's something else...
It's what she saw when she read his mind just after she drew him into her connection to the Force. It was just a flash of an image... but it was startlingly familiar. She's seen it before. When she first touched Luke's lightsaber on Takodana...
Black-robed figures in masks. In the center, Kylo Ren wielding his unstable red, lightsaber, bursts of fire jutting out on either side of the hilt. But it wasn't raining... it was dry and dark, the ground flat with gritty sand, not wet and rocky. And there were more than six Knights...
Rey shakes her head, squeezing her eyes shut.
It could mean any number of things. That's the danger of reading someone's mind, interrupting their thoughts. You don't get any context, so it's easy to misinterpret what you read. The image was probably just a random flash, a tertiary relevance to his main line of thinking.
But Rey still feels that gnawing... that dread. It keeps her up all night, tossing and turning, falling in and out of shallow fits of sleep that are brief and unsatisfying. The hours seem to drag by endlessly... an eternity before the first rays of sunlight begin to trickle in through the window.
Rey gets out of bed in a strange half-awake state, feeling alert yet dazed and exhausted. She changes her clothes quickly and exits onto the deck, heading straight to Finn's quarters.
Everyone will be getting up soon to meet at the transporter. She needs to tell them there's been a change in plans...
She rounds the corner of the deck to the west side of the school. She sees something moving towards her in the distance... it's moving quickly...
It's Finn. She feels a surge of urgency from him wash over her as he gets nearer. She begins to pick up her pace walking towards him.
"Is Jian with you?!" He calls out, frantic, running towards her.
"No," she calls back as she runs to meet him.
"I'm going to kill him!" Finn declares angrily, stopping just in front of Rey.
"Finn, he probably just snuck out with Irenie again," she assures him. "Those two have been thick as thieves since Takodana."
"No." Finn shakes his head definitively, moving past Rey to walk swiftly towards the south end of the school. She turns to follow him. "He's dead serious about this mission. He wouldn't sneak out on the morning we're set to leave."
"Then he's probably already at the transport waiting for us," Rey responds, a bit amused.
"Yeah... maybe you're right." Finn agrees absently, charging ahead.
"Listen, Finn, we have to talk after you find Jian. Meet me in the courtyard, ok?" Finn nods his head without looking at her, picking up his pace into a jog. Rey stops following and turns back around, walking the opposite direction. She needs to catch the team and tell them to head to the courtyard as well.
She doesn't make it two steps before she halts, frozen.
The realization hits her... and her heart drops into her gut.
She whips back around and races towards Finn.
"Hey!" she calls out to him, running at full speed. She barely stops herself from ramming into him as she brakes just in front of him.
He looks at her, impatient and expectant.
"I think I know where Jian is." She says the words so quickly, they come out as one jumble.
"What?" Finn's face scrunches in confusion. Rey takes a breath.
"I know where Jian is," she says more calmly.
Finn's head shifts, a bit baffled.
"I thought you said you hadn't seen him?"
Rey gulps, struggling to maintain eye contact with Finn.
"I haven't. But I think..." she starts hesitantly. "I think he's with Ben."
Now Finn really looks confused.
"What?"
Rey nods her head, that gnawing in her stomach quickly growing into something more frantic.
"Don't ask me how I know but... I know. Jian's with Ben."
Rey pauses for a moment.
"And the Interloper."