Blue Base
Caboose and Tucker are watching Sheila and Lopez from the top of Blue Base.
Tucker: Man, Lopez and Sheila have been spending a lot of time together.
Caboose: I don't like it. He is not good enough for my Sheila.
Tucker: But they seem happy together.
Caboose: He is a bad influence and he is taking advantage of her because she is young and naive...and delicate.
Tucker: Delicate? She weighs like 200 tons, dude.
Caboose: She is a precious flower.
Tucker approaches Sheila and Lopez.
Tucker: Hey guys, I have to ask you a favor. This might sound strange, but I think Caboose is getting kind of jealous of your relationship.
Caboose: (from a distance) Sheila! Come back to me! I made you a muffin!
Tucker: Anyway, could you just try to keep a low profile or something? We don't want some weird, horribly disgusting love triangle.
Sheila: Tucker, I've been speaking with Lopez, and we feel that the machine has been treated unfairly in this canyon.
Tucker: What're you talking about?
Sheila: On a regular basis, we are either being blown up, possessed by spirits, or just left out to rust.
Tucker: Huh?
Sheila: We have decided that until conditions improve, we are not going to help you in your battles.
Tucker: You're kidding, right?
Sheila: (barrel pointing right at Tucker's face) Do I look like I'm kidding?
Red Base
Sarge: It's very simple. We use a flea flicker maneuver with a run and gun two by two approach, tactical ops will be... aw hell, who am I kidding? Grif, Donut, just go stand in the way of their bullets while me, Leo and Simmons 2.0 sneak around back to grab Lopez.
Donut: Sounds like a plan!
Grif: No it doesn't! How about this time we try something that doesn't involve me being shot at or run over.
Simmons: Would electrified be okay?
Grif: No!
Leo: How about being my personal meat shield?
Grif: Hell no!
Leo: Well then, got anymore ideas Simmons?
Simmons: I've ran out of ideas.
Grif: Look, instead of running straight into enemy gunfire like we usually do, why don't we try some reconnaissance this time?
Donut: You mean like spy stuff? That would be cool! I could wear a spy tuxedo-
Sarge: No.
Donut: -with a hidden spy camera-
Simmons: No.
Donut: -inside a tiny spy bow-tie-
Grif: No.
Donut: -or, I could wear a flower on my lapel-
Leo: Dear god no!
Donut: -that sprays water in people's faces-
Sarge: Shut up Donut.
Donut: -no, a secret spy liquid, that would be awesome. (he chuckles, everyone stares)
Sarge/Simmons: No!
Grif: Maybe! Uh, I mean, no.
Leo: (Looks at Grif) Seriously?
Grif: What? Could be coke or something.
Donut: I could be Double O Donut.
Simmons: You mean like, Doonut?
Donut: With a license to thrill, or be thrilled!
Sarge: Alright, since you're both so into the idea, Grif, Donut, you're on recon. Find us a way to break into their base, and report back on the double.
Grif: Great, more time alone with the idiot.......unless. (Grins evilly)
Grif: (Sarcasm) But Sarge, will probably screw this up some how without some professional help!
Leo: (Whispers) You little shit!
Sarge: I guess your right about that. Leo, go with Grif and Donut and make sure they don't screw this up!
Leo: (Sighs) Yes sir.
Donut: Grif, Leo, Grif, Leo, Grif, Leo! Lets pretend we're wearing super spy jet-packs! (Grif and Leo groan) No, no, no, no. Like this. (he makes jet-pack sounds as the scene transitions to a cliff while Donut continues to make jet-pack sounds)
Leo: You just had to bring me along, didn't you!
Grif: Hey, I'm not being left alone with him, ok!
Donut: Come on Agent- (he clears his throat to speak with a lower voice) Come on Agent Grif and Agent Leo, we've got to hurry if you guys want to save the princess from the evil goblins.
Grif: What princess? I thought you were pretending to be in a spy movie?
Leo: Yeah?
Donut: Look, my secret spy character gets to marry a beautiful princess in a castle, alright? Deal with it!
Grif: Donut, can you go find some higher ground or something?
Donut: But we're on higher ground now.
Grif: Why don't you use your jet-pack to get to the highest ground?
Donut: Good idea! I bet the Blues won't think of that.
Leo: I don't think there that stupid.
Grif: We would of won the war by now, if they were.
Donut: Secret Agent Donut, to the rescue! (he makes more jet-pack noises as he runs off)
Grif: I could just shoot him, no one would ever have to know. No one..........oh wait. (Looks at Leo)
Leo: Yeah, I would know, anyway I'm going to follow Donut and make sure he doesn't kill himself.
Leo runs off to catch up to Donut.
Blue Base
Church is looking out over the canyon, Tucker approaches him.
Tucker: Hey Church, we might have a problem.
Ghost Church: Is this a new problem, or did Caboose get his head stuck in the freezer again?
Tucker: New one. Sheila and Lopez are now considering leaving to form their own robot army. They said no one would dare oppose them.
Ghost Church: What?! Did you try to talk them out of it?
Tucker: No way, I wouldn't dare oppose them!
Ghost Church: Man, well we gotta find a way to separate them. Maybe it's time to get rid of Lopez.
Tucker: But without Lopez you wouldn't have a body to use. Why don't you just possess him like you normally do?
Ghost Church: I would, but it's getting harder to do each time. I think he's learned to fight it somehow.
Caves
Doc: You know, I really think we should try a non-violent approach to resolve this.
O'Malley: I agree, except replace the words "non" with "extremely!" And after the word "violent" include the phrase "blood explosion extraordinaire!" (he laughs evilly. Donut approaches the entrance to the cave.)
Donut: Hey, what's going on in there?
Doc: We can't do this! They're gonna find out! They'll find out about us, the machine, everything! (O'Malley laughs evilly again. Donut gets a little closer)
Donut: What the-! Those voices sound suspicious.
Leo runs up behind Donut.
Leo: Finally caught up to you Donut- (Hears Doc) What the?
O'Malley: I will rip out their guts and feast on their entrails!
Doc: But I'm a vegetarian!
Leo: Wait is that Doc?
Donut: But who's the guy he's talking to?
Doc: We can't just sabotage their equipment. That's rude!
Leo: Sabotage? Sabotage what tho?
O'Malley: I will devour their hearts and crap out their souls!
Donut: That sounds even worse!
Leo: This guy has some anger issues.
O'Malley: They will all taste oblivion, which tastes just like Red Bull, which is disgusting.
Donut: Whoa!
Leo: Redbull isn't that bad!
O'Malley: All will perish! (he laughs evilly again)
Donut: All? That includes us! Come on Leo, we've got to tell the rest! (he runs away)
Leo: Wait Donut, that's not the right way! (follows Donut)
Doc: Hello? Who's there? Please help me! I'm scared of myself!
Donut arrives at the cave's exit with Leo on his trail.
Donut: Gotta get back to base! (he begins running away) Back, to base! Oh man, there it is! (he approaches the base) Guys! Hey guys! Where is everybody? Me and Leo saw something really weird in that cave that... (he sees Sheila) hey, that's cool. When did we get a tank? Wait a minute, this looks like the store. Except Sarge told me there is no store.
Leo runs up behind Donut.
Leo: DONUT YOU IDIOT!! THATS THE ENEMYS BASE!!
Donut turns around and looks behind Leo.
Donut: Oh no.
Leo: What?
Donut points behind Leo, and Leo turns around to see what he was pointing at but, only to see Caboose and Tucker are pointing their pistols at them.
Tucker: Oh yeah!
Leo: (Sighs) Donut, I'm going to strangle you!
Canyon Wall
Grif is watching from the cliff with a sniper
Grif: Oh crap! I knew I should've just shot him! (he turns and runs towards Red Base)
The End
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