Six days have passed since my birthday and it has been absolute torture, my body is experiencing varying symptoms in regards to shifting, which may happen today or in the next few days, the transition is hard as your body is essentially configuring the basic structure of your DNA to prepare for your Wolf. These symptoms have led me to become lightheaded, weak and continuously nauseous.
In addition to this I have not interacted with Samuel at all, though I have seen him in passing, twice throughout the week but who's counting. However I can always sense him around our large house, this inevitably increases the torment tenfold as his scent and the electrical energy between us is almost tangible.
The feeling is what I will akin to an individual who has recently decided to go on a vegetarian diet as they have just found out they have an intolerance or allergy towards meat . It is how I would imagine said individual dining at a restaurant; and their companion has decided to order a succulent, juicy steak. The meat is right under their nose, they can smell it, salivate over it but the torture over not being able to eat it is horrendous because there are consequences. That's how I see this whole situation, to me he is an insufferable piece of hard, stiff meat that I feel no romantic attachment to but Instead have a desire to just devour, but I know the consequences of pursuing whatever that is between us will not work, because in my head I am still viewing this Mate situation as completely immoral and wrong .
--
I hear my phone ring suddenly and check to see who is calling me right now, I look and see that it is Lia so instantly pick it up.
"Hey Li-" I answer, suddenly experiencing discomposure when talking to her as it has been six days since we last spoke. When you usually see each other every day and speak for hours on end on the phone it can get quite disconcerting when you don't speak for a few days.
"I haven't heard from you in quite a long time" I reply hesitantly.
"Yeah we haven't! I'm so sorry! I'm such a bad friend!" she remarks in a melodramatic tone, but I find myself agreeing to her response in my mind.
Yeah, you have been a horrible friend.
"No you haven't, everyone has their own life" I respond attempting to sound nonchalant, but my voice sounds somewhat passive aggressive instead.
"That's true, life has been pretty hectic for me the past week" she comments, her tone of voice sounding overly sheepish towards the end, however I am immediately rattled by her response as I want to berate her for ignoring me, but decide to let it go.
There is no need to be petty right now, I remind myself in my head, in case I suddenly slip up and inform her of my actual thoughts.
"Did anything happening?" I ask, discomfited by her sudden silence on the line, our conversations are usually extremely flowing without any awkwardness but presently the distance between us seems very expansive, literally and metaphorically .
What could warrant for her to sound so restless?
"I-I just, well I-I am, yeah" she begins but my patience starts to wear thin, knowing her personality I already knew that she will beat around the bush and not reply with a straight answer.
"Just come out with it Li, what's going on?" I both state and inquire authoritatively.
"I don't want you to think of me differently but hear me out" she mutters quietly, sounding inhibited which is unlike her usual overt persona on the phone and in public. I send her a subtle nod even though she can't see and start listening.
"You know how I told you during your party that I'll need to talk to you about Samuel?" she says, articulating each word slowly, sounding quite hesitant.
I feel my heart squeeze uncomfortably but force myself to remain calm.
"Yeah sure, why?"
"Well okay, I'll start from the beginning-" she begins but I suddenly interject, almost reflexively.
"Are you dating him?" I ask dubiously, although my instincts are telling me that she is. My heart starts racing and my palms begin sweating as I anticipate her answer.
"Well.. Yeah" She claims, suddenly giggling in the process.
"I wanted to break it to you slowly so the shock factor is decreased" she begins, but I interpose yet again.
"When did this happen?" I spit out, very nearly sounding irritated but change my voice to a soft tone by the end of my question.
"Well last week when he found the both us coming home from town, Aah I'm really nervous to speak about this with you" she replies reticently, abruptly cutting her dialogue short, and waits for my approval on the other line.
Despite my expression being one of heartbreak and horror, I decide to make my voice sound cheerful so she can't detect my true emotions.
"It's okay, continue" I manage to force out in a rather neutral tone, my attempt at sounding cheerful instantly fails the moment I open my mouth.
"Oh, erm..yeah, so we started texting and meeting up. He told me not to tell anyone but you're my best friend, I couldn't not tell you!" she blurts out loudly on the phone.
"I'm glad you told me" I manage to force out another lie.
"When did you two start dating?" I mutter somewhat dismally, but she does not catch on.
"Well I won't say we're official yet but..we have kissed a.. few times" she babbles on. I feel my body tense incredibly and my right hand starts to unconsciously fist into a ball. I suddenly imagine dragging both Samuel and Lia to the open field near our pack-house and feeding their hair to the Cows.
"I'm sorry, I know he's your brother and it's gross to you but I needed to tell you! You're my best friend" she says trying to appeal to me with a nervous chuckle.
"Don't worry, it's fine" I say in a clipped voice, not feeling the love right now.
"A-Are you okay babe?" she whispers, sounding both concerned and terrified of me.
"I'm fine don't worry, I just feel quite ill because of the whole shift process, anyway I think I'm going to go now, I feel like I'm going to vomit, bye" I rapidly bellow out on the phone line.
"Oh no, I hope you feel better soon. I'll tell Samuel to take extra care of you, don't worry he'll listen to me" She chortles, I can virtually visualise the wink she probably sent my way.
"Hahaa, yeah. Bye!" I reply quickly not in the mood to replicate her tone of excitement and end the call.
A few minutes after I place the phone down, I do indeed feel an uneasiness in my belly; the nausea is usually to do with the shift but instead I know it is because of the sudden build up of anger, jealousy, sadness and betrayal i felt towards Samuel and Lia.
I stay in my room and lay down on my bed feeling utterly sorry for myself, after ten minutes or so I inhale a whiff of the usually citrus like scent and understand that Samuel is now home. The usual feeling of desire is now replaced by anger and without even contemplating over my actions I get up from bed and bolt out of my room like an Olympic sprinter. It feels like an animalistic instinct is urging me do so, as if I am not in control of my actions.
As I speed through the hallway and make my descent down our long and narrow staircase, I start to slow down my pace as I hear all of my family's voices mingling into one, however I notice that Samuel's voice has now stilled which I am assuming is because he can sense that I am very close to him. As I finally come near the kitchen, I see all of them situated around our large dining table, Mum and Dad still engaged in animated chatter. I focus my gaze on Samuel but I notice that he is still avoiding me, with a sudden thrust of courage I take five large steps toward him but my body is all of a sudden inundated by a sickly feeling in the pit of my stomach, I can feel the bile steadily rising, the nausea clawing on my throat but it is too late, the next thing I register is a strong pungent tang and then look at Samuel as the smell in emanating from him, I look down to see chunks of chicken and spinach covering his most vital part in his trousers and see his face change to that of revulsion.
"Oh gosh!" Mum shouts out worriedly.
She quickly runs up to Samuel , grabs his arm and props him off his chair then hurriedly leads him upstairs so she can find him a different pair of trousers and clean him up, I see the look of disdain and anger stained on his face as he is exiting the kitchen but surprisingly he does not say anything to me. Dad then quickly rushes to the sink to pour me some water which I gulp down in seconds.
I am instantly mortified and inform Dad that I am not feeling well, thus make my way upstairs and into my room. I then settle on to my bed, bring the covers up to my chest and fall into a long nap, the exhaustion from finding out my mate is dating my best friend and throwing up the lovely chicken I consumed two hours ago.
I nap for three hours and finally wake up feeling energised, the previous exhaustion has now dissipated, but all too soon I am reminded of the fact that Samuel is dating Lia, thus the hankering to confront him about this situation overwhelms me yet again and I slip out of my comforter. I follow his scent and I find myself in the living room where I see him conversing with Mum about his training.
"How are you sweetheart?" Mum asks after noticing my appearance.
"Fine" I reply simply, feeling too overwrought to properly focus on what she is saying, I glance around the living room avoiding a particular person but then forcefully focus my eyes on Samuel. I recognise that he is deliberately avoiding me as his eyes are trained on the television and I am sure he is not watching it because it is a show on auctioning off old pieces of furniture; or that is what I can decipher from staring at it for a couple of seconds.
I decide to walk up to him very slowly and leisurely and take a seat on the same sofa, although I place some distance between us. I keep quiet for a couple of minutes, not ready to execute my plan in confronting him just yet, but Mum abruptly speaks up.
"Samuel, Elisa" she says loudly grabbing our attention at once.
"I hope you both don't get angry at me, but I have to know if you're taking protection, Male Wolves sperms are more powerful than a humans-" Mum abruptly spills without any previous indication that she will introduce such a topic with us, she catches both Samuel and I off guard, he immediately cowers in his seat, looking tremendously embarrassed and angry by what Mum is saying.
"STOP!" I yelp out, shocked by what she just said.
"No, hear me out, it is my duty-"
"I really don't know what you're talking about, please stop" I say widening my eyes.
"Wait just let me spea-"
"You're uttering nonsense right now" I reply and squeeze my eyes shut, I place both my fingers in my ears like an immature child to prevent myself from listening to her further, however she grabs onto my hands and forcefully removes them from my ear, still holding onto it firmly, she then frees one of her hands from the tight grasp she has on me and places it on Samuel's and roughly yanks it towards where my hands are being held captive.
"Don't talk just listen, you guys are Mates, it's inevitable that you are sleeping together-
"Mum no we are not!!" I yell out, feeling mortified by what she is saying in front of Samuel, he just stares at her passively, but I do notice the mention of sleeping together turned him rigid and his eyes darken into grey from their natural crystal blue. I attempt to squirm my hands out of her grip, but because of the strength from her Wolf, she is able to hold onto them securely.
"ELISA LISTEN"" Mum belts out authoritatively, her tone commands me to be quiet and I immediately shrink back and find myself cooperating with her words.
"You don't have to be embarrassed to talk to me about these things, it is merely natural. Now, I'm scared you might get pregnant too soon. You've been vomiting the past week and I know it is because of the whole shift, but you can never be too protected. It's inevitable that you will both have sex with each other, since you're Mates, the urges are so stron-"
"Mum enough" Samuel mutters barely audibly, however I see his chest rise and fall in a fast motion, he looks like he just ran a thousand miles an hour as there is a small puddle of sweat gathering near his forehead and his cheeks have become slightly flushed.
"Enough" he states again, deafeningly. Samuel starts getting up from his seat but before he properly can, Mum's voice bursts through the still air again rendering him motionless.
"What I wanted to eventually get at, is that it's normal to want to be together, to be happy, make love-" she whispers cautiously, finally sounding as uncomfortable as we feel.
"-that's what Mates do, you guys don't have to be so secretive about how you feel around each other" she pauses for a split second.
" although it's an idea that will take time for me to grasp, I will accept it because the Moon Goddess paired you together, fate does not make mistakes. And even beyond that, your happiness is above mine and I just want you to always remember that" she reasons ostensibly in my opinion.
My eyes dart over to Samuel who stands frozen to his spot, looking like he is taking heed of everything Mum is saying, he then starts turning his head towards his right and slowly casts his gaze downwards until they land on me. I excessively blink to rid myself of the feeling enrapturing me and he also seems to step out of his reverie before it properly began.
I force myself to remember what I came to the living room for so I don't fall for this trap, thus the blood pressure in my head starts increasing significantly and I feel my anger erupting like an angry red zit.
"Don't worry about accepting it Mum, it is a mistake and the Mate bond will be void within the week" I impulsively state and square my shoulders to feign nonchalance. Samuel directs his gaze at me again forcing me to look up at him, he narrows his eyes slightly to display contempt and all too quickly, roughly walks past me by bumping into my shoulders.
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I THOUGHT I'LL JUST MENTION THAT THIS BOOK WON'T HAVE A HUGE EMPHASIS ON THE FIGHTING ASPECT OF WEREWOLVES ETC? I MEAN I MAY MENTION IT HERE AND THERE BUT IT WILL DEFINITELY NOT PLAY A MAJOR ROLE, INSTEAD I WANT TO FOCUS ON ELISA AND SAMUEL'S RELATIONSHIP AND HOW IT SLOWLY PROGRESSES FROM 'SIBLINGS' TO WHATEVER HAPPENS IN THE FUTURE. OBVIOUSLY THERE IS A HUGE BACKSTORY THERE TOO ABOUT HER ORIGINS SO I'LL INCORPORATE THAT TOO BUT EVEN THEN THE MAIN FOCUS WILL ALWAYS BE ON THEIR RELATIONSHIP.