CHAPTER - 6 (Not proofread, bear the mistakes)
LOVE IS... UNBEARABLE
"Love is the longing for the half of ourselves, we have lost."
Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
I was saved.
Saved from Ashton's scrutinizing gaze and any further questions that could bring all my lies out in the open.
Saved by the bell.
Literally.
"Who is it now?" Ashton groaned as he threw his head back in irritation.
This little action made me conclude that either he, in general, hated answering doors or he was rather very lazy.
The bell rang again and I stared from Ashton to the door and again towards Ashton, who didn't look like he was going to move even an inch in the coming decade.
"Don't be a f*cktard, man. Move your lazy a*s." The person who was banging the door loudly shouted from the other side, and after a moment of short lived surprise, I pressed my lips together to stop the little smile that was threatening to grace my lips. Ashton looked quite irritated and honestly, I loved seeing him like that. It felt like a very little payback of my own even though I had nothing to do in that ordeal, other than enjoying it.
"Umm... who is it? Bank troubles? A dacoit? Terrorist? Your partner in all your crimes? Or partner of your life?" I asked with mild interest towards the guy who was shouting profanities from the other side.
All I got in response was a dead serious and irritated look. And truth be told, it added heaps to my enjoyment.
The banging on the door just became louder with each passing second, but Ashton just rolled his eyes and rested deeper in his couch. I empathized with the guy on the other side. I really did. He was the male version of me of a few hours back, except for his loud cursing. Noticing Aston's complete ignorance towards his guest and the factor being the empathy I felt towards the guy, I decided to take matters in my own hands by welcoming the person inside.
I got up from my seat and started walking towards the door. "Where do you think you're going?"
Rolling my eyes and without turning back, I answered the devil, "Narnia." He didn't say anything back and I turned around to ask him, "So, is it your ritual or something to open the door and then shut the door in your guest's face? Oh, and am I supposed to follow this too?"
His lips twitched up ever so slightly, but he narrowed his eyes at me, as if challenging me. "I would like to see you do that."
A scowl covered my face at his challenge. How was it possible for him to read me so clearly in such a short span of time? Was it so easy to tell that being rude was not something I could do to anyone, at least not to someone who had not done any harm to me or my near and dear ones?
The loud banging on the door saved Ashton from my deadly gaze and the person again shouted, "Don't make me adopt extreme measures, Ashton."
My head snapped towards the door at the warning. Extreme measures definitely implied breaking the door. I looked back towards Ashton, who still looked like he didn't give a damn about anything that was happening around him.
Startled by the sudden silence from the other end of the door, I took steps towards it and stretched my hand to hold the door knob. But I didn't have to do any further hard work as my outstretched arm remained outstretched as the door suddenly opened in my face, injuring my nose in the process.
"Ouch!" I yelped, immediately stepping back at the sudden collision and rubbing my nose which really hurt a lot at the moment.
Before I could understand what just happened, a person brushed by my side as if I was invisible and started saying in a much exaggerated tone, "Why the hell did you not open the door?"
Ashton rolled his eyes at the guy, whose back was to me and I noticed his black hair shining and his shoulders sagged a bit in defeat. "I didn't feel like getting up," was Ashton's response to the guy, who moved a bit near him.
"You didn't sl-"
"Why are you here again?" Ashton cut off his friend from whatever he was saying and shot him a pointed look.
The guy's sagged shoulders stiffened a bit and he almost yelled, "I told you not to compel me to adopt extreme measures. I had to use my spare key, a*shole."
"You had a spare key? Then why were you playing bang-bang with the door?" I asked in an appalled manner before I could give a second thought to my words and stop myself from intervening a conversation between two friends.
The black haired guy turned to look at me and his eyebrows furrowed in deep confusion as he finally noticed my presence in this room. "Uh... hi," he greeted me with a grin; all the confusion and anger in his voice had disappeared into thin air as his eyes roamed over me. "You're such an unusual sight in this apartment. I'm so happy to see you here." He smirked as he looked between Ashton and me.
"Can you please stop smirking? I have seen enough of those in the last few hours to last a lifetime," I requested and wondered what in the world was wrong with me. Very blatantly, I was throwing all my anger and frustration of Ashton on a complete stranger - a friendly stranger, nonetheless. The guy raised his eyebrows at me with amusement clear on his face, while Ashton shot me yet another smirk.
So annoying and unbearable.
A sigh escaped my lips at my own behavior and I said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."
"Sh*t! You're so cute." Taken aback at the sudden compliment, I looked at the guy who was grinning from ear to ear. The guy was undoubtedly very good looking with his blue eyes sparkling in playfulness. Getting even one compliment in this day that had been filled with nothing but insults was actually a relief for me. Before I could thank him, he added, "And hot!"
And again, before I even had the chance to process the second compliment thrown my way and bask in the glory of being called 'hot' by a very hot guy himself, Ashton decided to interfere. "She is not hot. She is a bear."
"You call her that with love?" the guy asked Ashton with a cocked eyebrow and an amused smirk.
Ashton and I both snorted at the same time. I did that because of the use of the word 'love' in a sentence that had something to do with Ashton and me. And maybe, Ashton snorted for the same reason. Thank Goodness, we were on the same page at least once.
Before Ashton could explain his friend the story behind calling me 'bear' and add anything to my humiliation, I smiled at him and introduced myself, "I'm Liana Moore." The guy had a very positive and vibrant aura around him. It was difficult not to smile with him around.
His grin got bigger and he asked, "You write the 'Love Column', don't you?"
My smile faltered for a split second. Yes, the column had given me a lot in the last few months, but now I was fed up of it. I didn't need reminders of how good I was at writing about sh*t. My mind had been successful in taking a firm decision and I was not going to sway from it. This was going to be my last article of this column. After this, I was free from the shackles of the contract and the many legal hassles, it could lay upon me. With a bright, but a little fake smile on my face, I answered him, "Yes, I do."
He laughed as his blue eyes sparkled with delight and he told me, "My sister would love to meet you. She loves your write-ups." I just kept smiling at the compliments and for a second, I actually forgot all about the pain that's enforced upon me while writing that article now. In that second, I actually felt proud, delighted, and happy; happy that somewhere, somehow I had managed to make someone happy and believe in love.
Oh, if only I could do that again to the devil.
I got back from my thoughts when the guy waved his hand in front of me and I muttered an embarrassed apology, "Sorry."
"It's perfect." He grinned. He was way too happy, completely opposite of his friend, who was slouched deeply on the couch staring at his friend's head with narrowed eyes.
"Yeah. Well... I didn't get your name." I frowned as he smiled at my statement. Did he introduce himself when I was lost in my thoughts? Or was I blinded by his smiles and grins so much that I didn't pay attention to his name?
"Oh! I'm Harry," he said, and I nodded my head in acknowledgement.
"It's nice-"
Before I could complete my sentence and tell him that it was genuinely nice meeting him, he added, "Potter."
"What?" I asked as confusion hovered my head.
"Yup!" He grinned, obviously happy at my reaction. "I'm Harry Potter." He pointed towards Ashton who was now half smirking at his friend and continued, "He is Ron. You want to be Hermione?" Before I could react in any way to his insane comments, he continued, "But, we'll make sure that this ends differently. Harry and Hermione, meaning, you and I are going to end up together. Ron can go and f*ck whoever he wants to; anyone but Hermione." His face was class perfection of a very serious man discussing his great future plans, so serious that for a second I actually thought that his name was Harry. Not Potter, of course.
"Why don't you go f*ck yourself?" Ashton decided to butt in with lightly clenched jaw after a very long silence from his end.
The guy, whom I had decided to call Harry until I didn't find his real name, grinned and pointed out. "Technically, it is not possible."
"Well, technically, two to three out of every thousand men in the world can 'toot their own horn', according to a sex researcher," Ashton informed us with a smug look on his face. "Maybe you're one of them." He looked towards Harry with a huge smirk as he shuddered with disgust.
"Gross!" I exclaimed, and quickly shut my mouth when both of them looked my way. "Horn? And you were making fun of me for calling it a 'pee pee'." I accused Ashton with narrowed eyes.
"Pee pee?" Harry asked and laughed at me, while Ashton smirked, yet again. "Who calls it a pee pee these days?"
"She does." Ashton pointed at me, making me narrow my eyes at him in irritation.
Harry cooed and almost jumped towards me. "You're so cute, Hermione." He pinched my cheek and I felt my blood rushing to my face again.
"She is not cute."
"I'm not Hermione."
Ashton and I said at the same time which just made Harry chuckle and look between both of us as we stared at each other with narrowed eyes.
What was the need for him to say that I wasn't cute? I mean, I knew I was pretty. I was not stupid, well, neither was I proud. But, couldn't he just shut up and not make comments about my appearance? Harsh comments about a girl's appearance are like a huge blow in her face. I was aware of it. My experience since morning spoke volumes about the same.
"I told you guys that there would be a twist in this story. Hermione, you're going to end up with me. Don't look at Ron like that," Harry interrupted us from our little staring match. I blushed a little at his comment and looked anywhere except Ashton. "And Ron-," he continued, "-don't look at your friend's future wife like you're going to eat her. Have some decency, dude. She's taken."
"Oh yes, she is taken," Ashton butted in and shot me a pointed look, making me wonder if he knew that everything I had told him was nothing but a lie.
Harry looked at me with wide eyes and started shaking my shoulders a bit too wildly, bringing me out of my lies. I lost my balance for a moment at the sudden action, but Harry was holding tight enough to not make me fall. "You've a Draco Malfoy?"
I started laughing really loudly at his absurdity and his hilarious statements. My laughter mixed up with the wild shoulder shaking exercise that Harry was giving me, made me sound awfully like a donkey with a very bad case of Asthma. But I didn't care and continued laughing. "Ye - yes," I managed to say between my laughs.
He stopped shaking me, and narrowed his eyes at me while his mouth was curled up in a smile. "This is not acceptable, Hermione."
"First, it's true. I've a Draco Malfoy. Second, I'm not Hermione. Last, seriously, what is your name?" I asked, smiling at him.
Just as he opened his mouth to probably put an end to my confusion, the devil spoke from beside us, "Harry. His name is Harry. Right, Harry?" He slapped his friend's shoulder playfully and winking at me.
"Yup. But don't forget the 'Potter'. That's the USP." Harry grinned proudly with an excited gleam in his eyes.
It was so obvious that both of them were lying and making me the butt of their jokes. A groan escaped my lips in frustration while the two friends kept looking at me with their trademark looks - Harry with a goofy smile and Ashton with a huge smug smirk. Even though, the smile on Harry's face was infectious and very endearing, I couldn't bring it upon myself to remove my eyes from Ashton's face; the face that looked like it belonged to someone who knew way more than he should; the face that was so annoying and at the same time, highly mysterious; the face that, somehow, raised my curiosity to new levels... dangerous levels.
**********
"I don't understand what I'm supposed to do. I try, I really try to move on and end this non-existent thing between us, but I just can't help myself." I poured a glass of water as Stephanie sobbed her heart out, sitting on my bed in her pajamas. I handed her the glass and she took it after wiping her tears off her cheeks hastily.
She drank it even before I could think of saying something to ease her pain. "What do you think I should do?"
I got up from the bed and went near the window to look outside my apartment. The view was not great or anything, just the very normal the many apartment view of the New York City. Fidgeting with my tank top, I searched for answers in my mind that I could give to Steph for the useless question she had just asked me.
I had almost sprinted from Ashton's apartment when I had received a message from Stephanie that she was waiting for me outside my apartment. The reason of my running away was not Steph's message as she had not written her purpose of visiting me in her message. My reason was the immense happiness that had spread through my veins upon hearing that I could finally go out of that apartment.
But my happiness was short lived when I spotted a very sad and tear stricken faced Steph at my doorstep. This exact scene was probably the tenth repeat telecast of the scene that had been occurring after every few months since the last two years.
Same story, same characters.
Stephanie had about three years back entered into a very convenient 'friends with benefit' deal with a very good friend of her's. She had said that it was convenient and it was a kind of open relationship. But I knew the truth. She had always been in love with Shane and Shane found her hot. She was happy to live in her dream world even though temporarily while Shane was happy for other obvious reasons.
Being madly in love and in a very secure relationship at that time had made me slightly against this idea. But, being the best friend I had always been, I suggested her to do what she thought was best.
Over these two years, she told me about several hook ups Shane had and told her about, when she didn't even kiss anybody but him. And every time he would tell her about his new ventures as he considered her as his 'best friend', she would end up coming to me to cry her heart out. And I, always, welcomed her with open arms.
"Even if I stop sleeping with him, I can never put an end to my friendship with him. You know that he is very special to me. And I know that I'm to him, as well. But then, I also know that he would never take any step forward with me and I would end up alone." I turned and looked at my friend with sad eyes; the sadness that I could feel for her. "This is so painful and unbearable, Lia," she complained as her bottom lip quivered a bit in helplessness. I couldn't agree more. I went back towards her and enveloped her in a protective hug. I knew she needed one.
Everyone needs one from time to time.
She kept mumbling something and I kept on soothing her back with my hand as I tried to make her quite.
"Get some space for some time, Steph," I told her as diplomatic as I could that leave that jerk right away as he does not deserve you. For somebody who was a pro at writing about 'Love', I always fell short of words to soothe my friend. Maybe because I didn't want to hurt her of the pain that my words had the capability to cause. My suggestion was simple - you deserve much better and you can get much better.
And knowing Steph, I concluded that it was best to keep my thoughts to myself. She could not hear anything against Shane ever. I had tried to put some sense in her mind when I had broken up with Nolan and the harsh reality of love had been thrown at my face in the most cruel way. She had not taken that nicely, and I was pretty sure that if it wasn't for the 'vulnerable' stage I was in; she would have taken them sorely. But, she didn't and I was grateful to her. My thoughts about love were rather bitter.
Sometimes, we try to deceive our mind and heart into believing something that is far from truth. We betray ourselves by giving a permanent place to many dreams and lies that are meant to stay afar and get hurt in the process, because when the truth strikes, it blows away everything and what remains is pain - an unbearable pain.
Lies are sweet; they make us happy temporarily and leave a terribly painful mark. Truths are bitter; temporarily painful but full of relief and happiness later on.
Then why do we still prefer temporary happiness over relief and happiness of a lifetime is something I can never understand.
After hours of quietly listening to Steph and adding my genuinely concerned input here and there, and a full tub of Steph's favorite cookie dough ice cream, she fell asleep on the right side of my bed, hugging the blanket with all her might. A sigh escaped my lips at the long day it had been.
The strenuous task of meeting Ashton Parker, dealing with him despite of all his annoying habits, meeting his friend whose name I still couldn't find out and decided to call 'Harry', Stephanie's worries and trying to make her happy, and my non-existent plans of making Ashton fall in love. Everything had taken a toll on me and I could, practically, hear my bed calling me in its embrace.
I was, obviously, not the one to deny such a call, and after switching off the lights, quickly settled on the left side of my bed. My mind shortly wandered towards the fact that I had to meet Ashton again the next day, but I quickly dismissed that thought as I couldn't delay what was to happen. Just as I was about to doze off, my phone vibrated, making me grab it quickly from under my pillow so I wouldn't wake Stephanie up at this time. For a brief moment I wondered who could it be to send a message to me at this odd hour. It was five minutes before the clock struck twelve.
The message was from an unknown number and I opened it to read it.
'Love is...?' it read.
A light gasp escaped my lips at the unexpected message and it didn't take me to be a genius to figure out that it was Ashton who had sent it. I had no idea how he got my number, but settled with the thought that maybe he got it from his mother or someone. I rolled my eyes as I realized the purpose of his sending me this message before twelve at midnight. He wanted me to give one definition per day and there were hardly five minutes remaining for the day to get over.
The guy was smart, I would give him that.
Without pondering about what my response should be, I typed and sent him just one word, 'Unbearable.'
In a few seconds, my phone vibrated again and I read his message, 'You are unbearable, Liana.'
I frowned at his message and replied back, 'No. You are. Meet you tomorrow. Get ready to fall in love. Good night.'
I expected him to reply something rude, but all I got was a simple, 'Good night, Liana.'
After staring at his message for a thoughtful moment, I kept my phone beneath my pillow and tried to sleep.
Love is unbearable. It is true, isn't it? The happiness it brings along makes one feel that one could burst with that infinite happiness and the pain, the longing that it brings along is the same but probably worse. The one thing common between both is the fact that both happiness and the pain are unbearable.
Shaking my head at the mystery called Ashton's image that was clouding my head, I drifted off to sleep; a very peaceful sleep that I got to experience after a very long time.
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A/N
Did you guys like Ashton's friend who is keen on calling himself as Harry Potter? I love him!
Hope you liked it. :)
VOTE COMMENT FOLLOW. :) <3