Scott felt empty.
He felt used and defiled and completely wrecked. Alex was gone. Not 8 hours before this very moment everything in his life had seemed absolutely perfect. He’d wished for nothing.
Then a confession.
The truth of the entire matter had come to light and as it did his reality had come crashing down. How could he trust anything anymore? Anyone? Alex had never really loved him. He had told him so. And it had to be true, because if Alex had ever loved him then he would never have broken his heart with such audacity...not a tear in sight. He acted as if it barely even mattered, like Scott was just a toy that could be tossed aside when he was done playing with it. Scott's heart, to him, was unimportant and breaking it was effortless. There wasn’t an ounce of care on his face as the words spilled from between his lips.
Two years.
Two years of his life he had given to Alex willingly, gladly. They were obviously wasted. He had loved him. He gave Alex everything there was to give of himself. How had he not seen that it was all a lie?
He swore he had seen love in his eyes, swore that when he told him he loved him that he meant it, swore that when they made love he could feel the connection so strongly…Clearly it wasn’t at all as it seemed. Love was not in his eyes, he had never meant any words he'd ever said, and they had never ‘made love’ …only sex.
The love, the meaning, the connection was all in Scott’s head. He had loved Alex so wholeheartedly that he had just convinced himself of these things. He had wanted to see the love in his eyes, hear it in his voice, feel it in his body so desperately that his mind just convinced him that they were there. But no. Here he was sitting in the bedroom of their apartment-
No. Not their apartment anymore, his own apartment again
-staring at the wall. What else would he do? He didn’t want to see anyone. He didn’t want to go anywhere. He didn’t want to move or think or feel. None of it was real anyways. Everything he’d come to know, love and take comfort in was a lie. How could he trust anyone? How could he trust anything? Never again.
~
3 Months Later
Scott looked up as the door clicked open. A younger looking guy walked in. He was impeccably dressed, hair perfectly parted. He practically screamed money and had walked in like he owned the place.
This was interesting...
“Can I help you?”
The newcomer was holding a newspaper clipping.
Great, another one..
Scott tapped his fingers on the desk as he watched the man remove his sunglasses revealing the most colorful brown eyes he'd ever seen. He'd never thought of the color brown as colorful, but that was the only thing he could think of that would describe them.
“I read in the newspaper that you’re looking for a new vocal coach?” He seemed a strange mixture of nervous, yet confident. Scott couldn’t quite figure it, or him, out. He looked nothing like any of the other countless singers that had been trying to secure a teaching spot here at his mother’s school of the arts. They'd all been old or weird or smelly or some combination of the three.
“Yeah, do you have any experience?” Scott pulled the paperwork out of the desk drawer. It was starting to be almost reflex at this point. His mother had left him in charge of filling the now empty teaching position that had so suddenly become vacant.
It had previously been his own. It wasn’t that he wanted to stop singing, it was just…gone. He‘d tried, oh he had tried, but his emotions were so blocked off, guarded, that it was just forced and flat. So he worked in the office, did the paperwork, made the phone calls, placed orders. It was odd, but Scott didn’t mind. It didn’t require a lot of thinking. It only inhibited his willingness to stay cut off from the rest of the world.
“Plenty” The stranger's voice cut through his thoughts. He wasn't sure how his mother would feel about someone so young, but Scott himself had been young as well. He could at least give the kid a shot. He stood from his chair “Here, fill this out and then I’ll give you a call when we can set up an interview.” He held out the paper and a pen. The guy took them both carefully before taking the seat that Scott then offered to him. He let his eyes glance at Scott momentarily before he began to write.
Scott watched him. For some reason his eyes would go right back to the stranger every time he managed to tear them away. Something about him felt familiar, but he was sure he’d never met him before. He couldn't shake it. There was something, something that felt so natural, comforting, like the smell of his mom’s chocolate chip cookies, or the teddy bear his grandmother had given him when he was a baby. It was the strangest feeling. He was more than curious. The stranger’s lips curled into a smile, for absolutely no reason apparent to Scott, as he filled out the paper.
Finally he finished and slid the paper across the desk to Scott, setting the pen back in the desk organizer that Scott had pulled it from. Scott picked up the completed form, admiring the penmanship.
Mitch. Mitch Grassi.
“So, Mitch. I’ll give you a call when we can set up a time to hear you sing”
“Can I do it now?” Scott blinked at him, quiet for a moment. This boy was certainly bold. But hell, why not. It's not like he really had anything else to do. He’d only been making schedules just to keep himself busy, well that and putting off watching the countless singers that had applied for this job sing boring song after boring song in their weird tones and pulling their faces around. It was always the same. Just because you can carry a tune doesn't make you a singer. To Scott, to the clients, to his mother… singing was SO much more. If you didn’t have it, you just didn’t have it. Apparently there were A LOT of people didn’t have it.
But Mitch seemed like he would be interesting. He looked interesting enough. He already had Scott’s attention and he hadn’t even started singing yet. “Do you have something prepared?” That seemed to amuse Mitch. “I think I can work something out.." Confident words and yet something so vulnerable beneath it all.
Scott nodded a bit and headed out the door. “C'mon, I'll show you the piano.”
Mitch did as told and followed Scott from the office and through the crowded hallways. Mitch gracefully weaved through avoiding every body effortlessly. He stood out like a sore thumb, but no one seemed to pay him too much attention. Mostly because all eyes were on the blonde who guided him.
Scott noticed a few looks come his way, looks that stated they wanted to talk to him, or just to greet him, but the people who had given them stayed quiet as he passed. A couple of people looked at him with longing, sad looks. Scott wasn’t the guy he used to be and while he noticed every single one of those glances, he ignored them and continued on. Eventually he opened the door to an empty room. Mitch looked around at the large space as they entered.
“You do play, right?”
Mitch simply smiled, his eyes locked on the white piano sitting there. He took a seat, carefully running his fingers over the keys as if greeting an old friend. "A bit." He smirked, eyes still on the keys.
There it was again, that oddly humble confidence. "Alright then, whenever you're ready."
Scott took a seat in one of the nearby chairs.
Mitch looked at him for a moment, as if searching for something in Scott’s eyes. It was a brief moment, but it made Scott shift under his gaze. Mitch smirked as his fingers began to just move. Mitch didn't have to think to sing, it all just came naturally. The music filled the room...
and then he sang...
The words of Sarah McLachlan's Full of Grace danced on the beautiful voice that left his mouth. Scott sat rooted, wanting to close his eyes to listen to the nuances and runs that this boy added that just made it that much more beautiful and haunting.
There was silence for quite a time before Scott had realized the song was over. Usually he only let them get through maybe a minute if they were lucky, but Mitch, he never wanted him to stop. He wanted more. He could have listened to him all day. This guy most definitely had ‘it’. He felt himself smiling genuinely for the first time in months. He asked a few more questions, just making sure Mitch knew the basics, etc. Once he was done Mitch looked at him.. a calm, unassuming look, watching him as he stood to walk over to him. Scott could feel Mitch’s gaze on him, like it was seeing right through him. Mitch remained quiet, as if he wasn’t anxious at all to hear what Scott had to say.
“You were really incredible, by the way. Amazing.”
“Thank you.” Mitch didn’t seem surprised, but he kept his eyes on Scott, waiting for his next words.
“I think you would be an amazing addition to the faculty. I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t hire you right on the spot.”
There were a few reasons, Mitch had experience, but he was young so he had much less than any of the other applicants. He’d barely even talked to him, knew barely anything about him. He'd barely even spoken to him, but something told him that he had to hire him. Something told him that Mitch belonged here.
Mitch grinned, his eyes lighting. “So I got the job?” Scott nodded and extended his hand to Mitch. “You got the job.” Mitch’s smile faltered slightly as he looked at Scott’s hand. “Sorry, germaphobe. But, thank you, I should, um, when do I start?” Scott felt a strange air take over the room as Mitch’s mood changed slightly, He let his hand fall.
He led Mitch back to the office so he could check the calendar. He gave him a date and a time to return. Mitch nodded. “Alright. I’ll be here.” He was smiling again, the awkwardness gone.
“It was nice meeting you Mitch.”
“You too, Scott…” Scott couldn’t remember telling him his name, but everyone knew him. It was his mother's school for crying out loud.
The boy smiled and turned, walking out of the office door. The room seemed to automatically feel colder, empty all over again.
He spotted it just as Mitch’s back was disappearing to the other side of the door. His coat. He’d taken it off when he had sat down to fill out the form. It was still draped over the back of the chair. Scott grabbed it and opened the door to call for him, but he was already gone. He sighed and tried to get back to work. No matter how much Scott tried to get anything else done his mind kept going back to Mitch. He didn’t know who he was or where he came from, but Scott was glad he’d shown up. His eyes flickered to the designer coat laying across the chair. He felt himself smiling again, but it soon disappeared as he forced his thoughts away from Mitch and back to the stack of paperwork.