<< For the last chapter the person in the multimedia was Zuri
Ranae
My soul was empty. I didn't know how to feel or what to feel. The only man who was there for me in my life and was only the father figure I really had was Calvin Beniz. And now he's dead and I don't know what to do. It's all my fault I should've answered my phone when he called. He could've still been alive right now if it wasn't too late but it was and its all on me.
I was at the hospital with my mom who was filling out some paper work and Zuri. Turns out my dad died of a heart attack.She was so devastated I felt so bad for her. As bad as I wanted to cry in front of her I couldn't, he told me to be strong for her and that's what I was gonna do.
Natalie, who was my mom sister, was catching a flight today from Texas to stick around for a little until things simmer down.
We walked out the hospital with our shades on but was greeted by hella paparazzi asking us hella questions but we ignored them and proceeded to our truck which our driver drove us in today.
When we went home, my mom went straight up to her room and I followed her.
"I be right back" I told Zuri.
I went upstairs and saw her sitting on the bed for a second and then I heard snuffles.
"Mom" I sat next to her.
"It hurts so hard Ranae"
"I understand"
I hugged her tight and she laid her head on my shoulder finally letting all the tears out.
"Why would they take my husband from me? The love of my life, my bestfriend"
"I'm so sorry mom"
I just let her get all her tears out. After she started to calm down she lifted her head and wiped her eyes.
"Mom I'm so sorry this happened.."
"Why are you apologizing its not your fault"
"It is and-"
"No the hell its not this was because of his health and the disease he had for a very long time"
"I know but I didn't answer the phone when he called" I started to break down in tears.
"I should've answered" I did the ugly cry, noise and everything. She grabbed me tight and rubbed my back.
"No baby don't say that, don't put this on you this is not your fault at all! Now stop crying like this, your father wouldn't wanna see you like this. Be strong baby don't make me cry again because seeing you cry like this makes my heart break even more and I never saw you cry"
She was right I had to stay strong but it was just too hard.
My phone vibrated in my phone causing me to quickly get it. I was surprised, it was a text from Chris.
Chris: Come over? I'll explain everything..
I stared at the text and then put my phone back in my pocket.
"Honey you don't have to stay, if you got stuff to do then go ahead"
"I don't wanna leave you"
She gave me this look.
"I'm ok for now plus my sister coming later so I'm not gon be alone for long"
"You sure?"
"Yes"
I gave her a long and tight hug then stood up. I looked at her one last time and walked out the door. I guess I'll see what's up with Chris. I need to talk to him anyway.
-
I knocked on his door and waited until he opened it. As I was doing this Zuri was out in the car. It seems as if she was in a rush to get home but I told her it wouldn't take that long. I heard him unlocking the locks and open the door. He moved to the side to let me in. I pushed up my sunglasses and entered his house. He closed the door and we walked to his living room to sit down.
"We're inside now, you can take your glasses off"
I looked at him and then slowly took my glasses off and looked at him again.
"What's wrong? Your eyes red, it looks like you been crying"
I was about to tell him but a lumped formed in my throat.
"Chris he died.."
"Who?"
"Calvin.. he's dead"
The look on his face turned gloomy. As I stared at him my eyes started burning. His eyes began to turn red also and that made the tears finally fall down. I looked away, I didn't want him to see me crying.
"Baby" I heard him say in a raspy voice.
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest as he buried his face into my neck.
"I-I don-" I tried to talk but I couldn't get it out.
"Shh you don't have to talk just let it out"
After I heard that I just let everything out not holding any tears back and he just held me. After a few mins went pass, I finally got myself together and stood up about to leave cuz I forgot Zuri was waiting.
"Oh yea, what did you have to explain to me? Why didn't you wanna talk to me?"
"I did wanna talk to yo-"
"You know what, are you breaking up with me?"
"What? No"
"Well you don't have to explain it right now I don't care at the moment"
He nodded and gave me a kiss on the lips and then a long hug"
"I'll see you, call me if you need anything" He said and I nodded walking out the door.
I walked to my car and got in.
"Ok you ready?" I looked over to Zuri but she wasn't there.
"What the hell?"
I grabbed my phone and tried calling her but she didn't answer. But I did see that I had a text message from her.
Zuri: I'm so sorry...
I was confused..what was she talking about?
-
A day had went past and it was now night time. I was sitting in my bed where I have been all day binge watching Madea movies. Right now I was watching my favorite one with lil bow wow in it. I wanted to laugh so I picked this. Next I was going to watch Big Momma House.
Nope I haven't seen or talked to Zuri. Yes she does still sleep here because I heard her earlier but when I go to sleep she's comes in after and when I wake up she isn't here. My eyes were slowly closing but I heard the door open and shut. This is the part where I said forget it and fall asleep but nope I opened my eyes and hopped out of my bed. I needed to know what the hell was going on.
I made my way downstairs over to the room Zuri stayed in. I opened the door and saw her taking her heels off.
"You scared me" She said.
"Where were you?" I asked.
"Just out" She mumbled.
"I'm not gon do all this imma just cut to the chase, what the hell is going on?"
"What?"
"Why the hell you disappear on me the other day and then avoid me?"
"Oh I thought since Chris told you, you wouldn't wanna talk to me"
"Zuri what are you talking about? Chris didn't tell me nothing..What did you do?"
She started to cry and I walked towards here and sat down next to her.
"I'm sorry Ranae I never meant for this to happen"
I waited for her to tell me.
"That night Chris was over here and you left to get food and I was cleaning up glass"
I nodded.
"He came down to get something to drink and helped me pick up glass and uh.. I kissed him"
I felt myself getting angry but continued to hear her out.
"That's it? That's all that happened right?" I asked but she continued to cry.
I shook my head and stood up.
"Answer me Zuri did anything else fucking happen!?"
"Yes ok yes but we didn't fuck if that's what you were thinking"
"You gave him head?" She didn't say nun which meant she did.
"Why?" I side eyed her.
She stood up to come closer to me but I backed away.
"You knew he was my boyfriend. You knew I really liked him"
"I'm sorr-"
Before she could finish that sorry ass apology my hand went right across her face. By the look on her face she was really shock and speechless.
"Get out" I said.
And with that I turned around to go back upstairs but stopped at the door.
"If I see you when I wake up I promise you its gon be more than a slap across your face"
I left the room and went upstairs. Its not gon be a pretty day tomorrow I promise you that.
-
I woke up in a terrible mood. Everything I was thinking about was bad no positive thoughts at all. I couldn't think positive right now..
I slipped on my sweats and shirt, threw on my sneaks, and put my hair in a quick ponytail along with my baseball cap. I rubbed Vaseline on my skin and grabbed my phone and keys.
I left the house making my way to Chris house. He texted me earlier but I didn't respond.
I was just thinking the whole ride that this nigga really cheated on me with my best friend. Who the fuck do he think he is and who the fuck do he think I am.
I pulled up in the drive way and push my shades up then hopped out. I walked to his door and knocked. A couple mins later he opened it and smiled. He moved in for a hug but I pushed pass him and went inside.
"You ok?" He asked.
I stared at him for a sec and then laughed.
"Am I ok?! My father died in the last 48 hours and then less than 24 hours I find out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend?!! Is that why you didn't talk to me for two whole days?!!" I snatched my glasses off.
He just stood there quiet.
"I didn't mean for it to go that far, I'm sorry Ranae it happened too fast, I was going to tell you"
"Really when??"
"It wasn't a good time"
"Did you fuck her?"
"No"
"DONT FUCKING LIE TO ME"
"I DIDNT FUCK HER DAMN"
"But you let her suck yo dick? Okay"
I looked around the room and spotted his cellphone on the couch. I ran over to his phone. No he never told me his password but of course I already knew.
"What the hell you doing?" He chased behind me.
I grabbed his phone and ran outside to my car. I got in and locked the doors. I swear niggas all of a sudden become track stars when it comes to their phone.
I unlocked his phone and went straight to his call log. I saw some of his friends contacts and some unsaved numbers.
"Ranae open the fucking door right now or imma turn up foreal"
I ignored him and went to his messages and saw the same unsaved numbers. I opened one of the messages and I didn't know what to say.
"Woww" I whispered.
As I went through each message I saw girls nudes and videos of them touching themselves and text messages saying shit you don't say in a relationship. I was shock and heartbroken, I felt that in my chest.
I push the button for my sunroof to go back and stood through to talk from there.
"What did I do to you Chris? I aint do shit and you cant even be loyal I knew this wasn't gon work its over I'm deadass, you want your phone so bad? Here bitch go fetch"
I threw his phone somewhere across the bushes and got back in and pulled off quick. I'm done.. I need a break from all this before I explode.
-
"Yes i told her to leave and if i see her again i might catch a case"
"Ranae honey no"
"Im serious"
"Do you love him?"
"Who"
"Chris"
I laughed and looked at her and then laughed again.
"Love? Mom you so funny"
"Well do you?"
I stopped laughing and started thinking.
"See I thought so" She half smiled.
"Love is a tricky bitch" Natalie said.
"Natalie!" Mom looked at her.
"What? I'm speaking the truth"
"Whatever, but baby you sure you wanna do this?"
"Yea I need a little time for myself but I will check on you everyday I promise"
"Ok lemme walk you to the truck"
She grabbed a bag and walked me to the truck. I put my stuff in the trunk and got in the car. I rolled down the window and looked at her.
"Be careful and think wise, I love you be safe"
"I love you too mom" she kissed me on my cheek and stepped back.
I rolled up the window and sat back and relaxed until I arrived at the airport.
We made our way to the airport which didn't take long and pulled up to the entrance. I had noticed a black van been following us the whole way from my house but they're probably here the same reason I'm here so I didn't really worry.
The driver had got out the car and grabbed my bags and then opened the door for me to get out. I put my shades on and my hood over my head. Before I could even step out the car I saw flashes coming from each angle.
"What the fuck" I mumbled covering my face.
The driver helped me through the crowd as I followed him.
"Are you Calvin and Cassandra's daughter?"
"What's your name?"
"Are you dating Chris Brown??"
"How do you feel about Calvin Beniz death?"
We finally got inside.
"I should've took the jet" I told the driver.
"Yes ma'am that would've been a good idea"
I just didn't think they knew who I was and would do this. This the first time being on a plane since I came here and would like to experience it by myself. But this time I was going to Jamaica. I never been there but I heard it was beautiful and the vibe there was strong and peaceful, just what I needed.
-
The first hour I was up looking at the sky since I had window seat. It was so beautiful I wanted to just float on the clouds. But the last five hours I was goneeee. When I arrived I texted my mom letting her know I landed. I walked through the airport and then saw my name posted on a white board. I walked towards the man dressed in a suit and smiled.
"Ms.Ranae Collin??"
"That's me"
"Great! Right this way"
I followed him to the limo and put my stuff in and then got in myself. I rolled down the window and looked at the view. It was so nice and the weather was lit, nothing like LA right now.
When I arrived at my hotel I checked in and got settled down. I didn't know what to do right now so I just laid down and rest for a bit and watched tv.
While I was chilling I got a text. I grabbed my phone and I couldn't believe who it was. What did he want?
Chris: Can we talk? I'm sorry for what happened earlier. I regret everything baby, I'll do anything. Where are you? pls respond.
Me: You don't ever have to worry about me anymore.. if you wanna go fuck girls go head.. your a freeman.. you been a freeman
I silenced my phone and continued watching tv.
-
I found myself waking up at 7 in the afternoon and I arrived here around 4. It felt like I didn't sleep in forever.
I guess I can go find something to eat. I put on my shoes and shades. I grabbed my phone and purse and headed out. I walked down to the lobby and grabbed a brochure and looked through to see what were the hottest food spots.
I found a place and began headed that way, it wasn't that far so I just walked there. I seen families taking pictures and to be honest shit was just sad to me.
When I finally went into the little restaurant I seen people hanging out and eating. I saw the bar and took a seat. I took my shades off and rubbed my temples.
"You are ready to order something?" The waiter asked.
"No can I have a sec"
He nodded and went about his business.
I eventually ordered some nachos and about two drinks and one to go. I headed back to the hotel but when I was walking to my room I got stopped in the lobby.
"Ma'am?"
I turned and saw this man. He looked my age but he wasn't that cute.
"We're having this party at the beach tonight, I'll appreciate if you'll come. We're trying to get as many people as possible"
He handed me the flyer and I looked at him.
"Do you want me to be honest with you?" I asked.
"I'll like that"
"I'm most likely not gonna come I'm sorry I'm just not in the mood to be in a public place"
"Yea ok, I can tell your not from here so why come out here when your not going to enjoy it?"
He walked away leaving me speechless. He was right but like I said I didn't feel like it.
I went into my room and took a shower and put on my crop top and skirt. I tried calling room service to order a bottle but the bitches wasn't answering.
I picked up the flyer that was on the dresser and looked over it again. I don't know should I go? I needed some strong alcohol in my system.
Fuck it.
-
I made my way right to the mini bar that was on the beach and ordered some drink that had vodka in it. I sipped it and scrolled through my twitter feed. I went to the trending topics and saw my father was number one trending. I clicked it hoping I wouldn't regret it but once I saw all the things people was saying brung tears.
'Rip to the greatest actor and husband, Calvin Beniz💔'
'Brooo this really got me fucked up but I'm just thinking how does his daughter feel right now😓'
'The only couple that didn't break up or cheat in their relationship in the famous world... real fucking goals RIP'
'My condolences to Calvin and Cassandra family ❤️❤️can't imagine what they're going through'
I was trying not to fully ball out right now but this vodka said let it go sis.
"Hey you ok?"
I turned my head the opposite way not wanting him to see me crying even tho I knew it was the guy from the earlier.
"I'm good" I said wiping my tears.
"If you want to talk w-"
"I said I'm good" I snapped.
"My bad.. you just getting here?"
"Not really"
"Oh..well I'll leave you alone I'll be on the dance floor if you need me"
He left and I grabbed my drink and swallowed it down.
"Can I get another one" I told the bartender.
I just want my fucking father back.
-
5 drinks later and I'm drunk as hell dancing on the dance floor. I had a drink in my hand but I bumped into someone causing it to spill on me.
"Ouuu I'm so sorry" he said.
I looked at my shirt and then at the guy. I was going to snap on him but he was cute so I didn't.
"It's ok your kinda cute so I forgive you"
"Is that right?" He smirked handing me napkins.
I blushed and wiped my hands and shirt.
"Ugh I'm about to leave my shirt ruined, this napkin ain't doing shit"
"If you like, we can go back to my room real quick and I can just get a cloth so you can clean it up"
"Yea lets go"
We walked back to his hotel and caught the elevator to the fourth floor. I followed him to his door.
"You wanna wait out here? You can come in if you want"
"Nigga if you don't open this door"
He laughed and grabbed the card to open it. We walked inside and he closed the door behind him. I saw him go into the bathroom and I followed him. I sat on top of the counter while he wet the rag.
"So you from here?" He asked.
"Nah I'm from New York but I moved to California at 16"
"That's cool"
"How about you?"
"I rep ATL lil mama" He started to wipe my shirt for me.
I laughed and looked at him as he continued wiping it.
"You got a girl?" I boldly asked.
He laughed and looked at me.
"Yea but she ain't worried about me, she never is, sometimes I feel invisible you know " he admitted.
"Oh nah she's crazy if she wouldn't wanna sit on your pretty face every night"
He looked at me weird and started to laugh. I wasn't going to apologize because I meant what I said.
"Would she be mad if I kissed you right now?"
The vodka had me bold as hell right now but I didn't care.
"I mean I don't know she doesn't pay me no mind remember"
I put my arms around his neck and licked my lips. I stared at his lips as I got closer to kiss him. He pulled me closer to him and kissed me. I reached down to grab his shirt and took it off. I did the same and unbuttoned my pants. He helped me slide them off and then picked me up by my ass and carried me to the bed not breaking the kissing.
He laid me on my back and I unbuttoned his belt and pants. I pulled his pants down revealing his Calvin Klein underwear. He played with her through my panties and then gently took them off exposing my bottom half leaving me in my bra. He inserted a finger in me and started playing with me until I was hot and ready. He came back down to kiss me and pulled down his underwear. He grabbed a condom that was in the drawer and put it on. I bit my lip as I saw him put the condom on. He then positioned himself. I spread my legs and he slowly entered me. I gasped and held onto him.
He started going slow but quickly picked up the speed. I put my leg over his shoulder and threw my head back.
"Can you do both legs?" He asked being smart.
"Wanna find out?" I said.
He smirked and pulled out. I positioned my other leg over his shoulder and he entered again. This was going to be a long night.
-
The next day I woke up and was confused. I remember parts from last night, I turned over and didn't see anyone. I looked under the covers and I was completely naked.
"Fuck" I mumbled.
I got out the bed and quickly put my clothes on but couldn't find my shirt. I grabbed my phone but of course it was dead.
"You finally up" I heard a masculine voice and quickly looked.
This beautiful chocolate man was standing in front me with my shirt in his hand.
He handed me my shirt and I put it on.
"Do you remember anything from yesterday?" He asked.
"Parts"
"So you know that we-"
"Yea I know"
I made my way to the door but he got there before me. He opened it for me and let me out.
"Hey, i didn't get your name"
I hesitated for a sec and the name Apryl came out.
"Well Apryl, I'm sorry if you regretted it or anything I get it you was turnt last night"
"Who said I regretted it?" And with that I left.
As I was walking back to my hotel room I was stopped in the lobby by the same dude from last time.
"Hey you ok? I saw you leave with some guy yesterday you good?"
"Yea I'm fine"
"You sure?"
"Yea"
"Ok cause I-"
"Look I would sit here and have a full blown convo but I really don't want to"
I turned around and walked to the elevator. When I got to my room I put my phone on charge and hopped in the shower. I washed my hair and got out. I put my clothes on and stared at the mirror wondering what I was gonna do with this hair. I wanted to do something with it but didn't know what to do.
I walked over to my phone and took it off charge.
"Wow" I said out loud.
I had miss calls from a unknown number, a text from my mom, and alottttt of mentions on all my social media's. Before I can unlock my phone the unknown number called again. I answered and spoke into the phone.
"Hello?"
"Yo where the hell are you?" I knew that voice from anywhere.
"Why you calling from unknown numbers?"
"Cuz you don't answer my calls but fuck that where you at?"
"Why you so worried? What part don't you understand! It's over you should've thought twice when you let that hoe put your dick in her mouth"
"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry! How many times do I gotta fucking say it?! I want you and only you Nae"
"Whatever"
"Can you please tell me where you at I just wanna know your safe"
"I'm home"
"Lie again"
"I am"
"I went to your house your mama said you went out of town but didn't tell me where"
"You bold for going there"
"I swear when I find out where you at I'm coming to you"
"Well good luck with that, bye"
I hung up the phone and blocked his number and the other one.
Later that day I walked around exploring places and restaurants. I came across this hair salon and thought if I should get my hair done or not. I went in and it was so beautiful. It was Jamaican flags everywhere and wigs here and weaves on the wall like a hair wonderland but at the same time a salon.
"Hail mi cya help yuh" The lady at the desk said.
I was about to speak but some lady started talking.
"Kalisa she not from here use American language"
"Oh, may we help you young lady?"
"Do y'all do sew ins?"
"Poa gyal it a hair salon yuh see?" Another lady said.
They laughed.
"Come on girl, my name is Shanel what you want today?" She patted her seat.
"Umm I want a sew in but I want..." I looked around and spotted what I wanted.
"That" I said pointing.
"Blue? You sure?"
I nodded.
"Ok then here we go"
This change was going to be a big change. I'm changing everything, fuck what anybody has to say from now on.
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