CAST
DORTHY played by ERICA
AUNT EM played by MIA
UNCLE HENRY played by MIO
MS GULCH played by VAPOR
TOTO played by A RANDOM POOCHYENA ERICA FOUND AND TRAINED
PROFESSOR MARVEL played by JOLT
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Sylvia: *addresses whoever reads this* Thank you all for coming. Now, here we represent to you, the Wizard of Oz!
Niko: *brings down sign that reads "Wizard of Oz"*
Ella: *opens curtains*
Niko: *raises up sign*
Erica: *running across the stage* She isn't coming yet, Toto. Did she hurt you? She tried to, didn't she? Come on - we'll go tell Uncle Henry and Auntie Em. Come on, Toto. Aunt Em! Aunt Em! Aunt Em!
Mia: Fifty-seven, fifty-eight --
Erica: Just listen to what Miss Gulch did to Toto! She --
Mia: Dorothy, please! We're trying to count! Fifty-eight--
Erica: Oh, but Aunt Em, she hit him over the --
Mio: Don't bother us now, honey -- this old incubator's gone bad, and we're likely to lose a lot of our chicks.
Erica: Oh -- oh, the poor little things. Oh, but Aunt Em, Miss Gulch hit Toto right over the back with a rake just because she says he gets in her garden and chases her nasty old cat every day.
Mia: Seventy -- Dorothy, please!
Oh, but he doesn't do it every day —just once or twice a week. And he can't catch her old cat, anyway. And now she says she's gonna get the sheriff, and --
Mia: Dorothy! Dorothy! We're busy!
Mia & Mio: *takes "chicks" out of incubator*
Mio: Poor little orphan, and her Miss Gulch troubles. Gosh all hemlock - you know, she ought to have somebody to play with.
Mia: I know, but we all got to work out our own problems, Henry.
Mio: Yes
Mia: Oh, I hope we got them in time.
Mio: Yes
Ella: *closes curtains for next scene*
Sylvia: Okay, Liam and Streak please come to the set!
Liam & Streak: *walk on stage*
Sylvia: We're going to need you for this next scene because your parts aren't coming until later.
Liam & Streak: Okay.
Unrcal: *drags wagon into stage*
Liam & Streak: *walk on stage*
Ella: *opens curtains*
Both: *pretend to repair wagon*
Liam: How's she coming?
Streak: Ow! You got my finger!
Liam: Well, why don't you get your finger out of the way!
Streak: Come on - come on - over this way.
Liam: Okay.
Streak: There you are.
Liam: Right on my finger!
Streak: It's a lucky thing it wasn't your head.
Erica: Zeke, what am I going to do about Miss Gulch? Just because Toto chases her old cat --
Liam: Listen, honey, I got them hogs to get in.
Streak: Now lookit, Dorothy, you ain't using your head about Miss Gulch. Think you didn't have any brains at all.
Erica: I have so got brains.
Streak: Well, why don't you use them? When you come home, don't go by Miss Gulch's place. Then Toto won't get in her garden, and you won't get in no trouble. See?
Erica: Oh, Hunk, you just won't listen, that's all.
Streak: Well, your head ain't made of straw, you know.
Liam: Oh! Oh, it feels like my joints are rusted. Listen, Dorothy, don't let Hunk kid you about Miss Gulch. She's just a poor sour-faced old maid that -- she ain't got no heart left. You know, you should have a little more heart yourself, and have pity on her.
Erica: Well, gee, I try and have a heart.
Liam: Now look, here's something that really has a heart. This is the best invention I ever invented.
Erica: This?
Liam: Sure. It's to break up winds, so we don't have no more dust storms. Can you imagine what it'll mean to this section of the country? I'll show you. It works perfectly now. Here's the principle. You see that fan -- that sends up air currents into the sky. These air currents -- Oh, stop it!
Erica: Oh!
Liam: Who did it? Now wait a minute.
Erica: Hickory!
Liam: Now what happened? I'll bet Hunk did that.
Streak: Say! Get in there before I make a dime bank out of you! Listen, kid, are you going to let that old Gulch heifer try and buffalo you? *fills trough* She ain't nothing to be afraid of. Have a little courage, that's all.
Erica: *walking the pig pen's railing* I'm not afraid of her.
Streak: Then the next time she squawks, walk right up to her and spit in her eye. That's what I'd do!
Erica: *loses balance and falls into pig pen* Oh!
Sylvia: SCENE! Get ready for the next one
After a few minutes
Sylvia: GO!
Erica: Oh! Oh, Zeke! Help! Help me, Zeke! Get me out of here! Help!
Streak: Are you all right, Dorothy?
Erica: Yes, I'm all right. Oh -- I fell in and -- and Zeke --
Streak: *helps her out of pig pen*
Erica: Why, Zeke, -- you're just as scared as I am!
Streak: What's the matter -- gonna let a little old pig make a coward out of you?
Erica: Look at you, Zeke -- you're just as white --
Mia: Here, here, what's all this jabber- wapping when there's work to be done? I know three shiftless farm hands that'll be out of a job before they know it!
Streak: Well, Dorothy was walking along the --
Mia: I saw you tinkering with that contraption, Hickory. Now, you and Hunk get back to that wagon!
Streak: All right, Mrs. Gale. But some day they're going to erect a statue to me in this town, and --
Mia: Well, don't start posing for it now. Here, here -- can't work on an empty stomach. Have some crullers.
Streak: Gosh Mrs. Gale.
Mia: Just fried
Streak: Thanks
Liam: Swell
Streak: You see, Dorothy toppled in with the big Duroc...
Mia: It's no place for Dorothy about a pig sty! Now you go feed those hogs before they worry themselves into anemia!
Streak: Yes ma'am
Erica: Auntie Em, really -- you know what Miss Gulch said she was gonna do to Toto? She said she was gonna --
Mia: Now, Dorothy, dear, stop imagining things. You always get yourself into a fret over nothing.
Erica: No --
Mia: Now, you just help us out today, and find yourself a place where you won't get into any trouble.
Erica: Some place where there isn't any trouble. *exits stage*
Sylvia: CHANGE OF SCENERY!
Ella: *closes curtains*
Unrcal & Niko: *change background boards*
Unrcal: *gets different scenes ready*
Everyone in the scene: *walks in*
Ella: *opens curtains*
Erica: Do you suppose there is such a place, Toto? There must be. It's not a place you can get to by a boat or a train. It's far, far away -- behind the moon -- beyond the rain -- *sings* Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high. There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby. Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue, And the dreams that you dare to dream really do ...come true...Someday I'll wish upon a star And wake up where the clouds are far behind me.
Vapor: Mr. Gale!
Mio: Howdy, Miss Gulch.
Vapor: I want to see you and your wife right away....
Mia: *come to the gate*
Vapor: ... about Dorothy.
Mio: Dorothy? Well, what has Dorothy done?
Vapor: What's she done? I'm all but lame from the bite on my leg!
Mio: You mean she bit you?
Vapor: No, her dog!
Mio: Oh, she bit her dog, eh?
Vapor: NO!
Sylvia: CHANGE SCENERY!
Ella: *closes curtains*
Everyone: *helps change scenes*
Ella: *opens curtains*
Erica: *comes on stage with Toto in arms*
Vapor: *holds up basket and order*
Erica: *screams at Vapor*
Vapor: *tries to take Toto away*
Mio: *takes Toto and puts him in basket*
Vapor: That dog's a menace to the community. I'm taking him to the sheriff and make sure he's destroyed.
Erica: Destroyed? Toto? Oh, you can't! You mustn't! Auntie Em! Uncle Henry! You won't let her, will you?
Mio: Of course we won't. Will we, Em?
Erica: Please, Aunt Em, Toto didn't mean to. He didn't know he was doing anything wrong. I'm the one that ought to be punished. I let him go in her garden. You can send me to bed without supper --
Vapor: If you don't hand over that dog, I'll bring a damage suit that'll take your whole farm! There's a law protecting folks against dogs that bite!
Mia: How would it be if she keeps him tied up? He's really gentle -- with gentle people, that is.
Vapor: Well, that's for the Sheriff to decide. Here's his order allowing me to take him. Unless you want to go against the law.
Mio: Uhh -- yeah --
Mia: Now, we can't go against the law, Dorothy. I'm afraid poor Toto will have to go.
Vapor: Now you're seeing reason
Erica: No --
Vapor: Here's what I'm taking him in -- so he can't attack me again
Erica: Oh, no, no! I won't let you take him! You go away, you....! Oooh, I'll bite you myself!
Mia: Dorothy!
Erica: You wicked old witch! Uncle Henry, Auntie Em, don't let 'em take Toto! Don't let her take him -- please!
Vapor: Here! I've got an order! Let me have...
Erica: Stop her!
Mia: Put him in the basket, Henry.
Vapor: The idea!
Erica: Oh, don't, Uncle Henry. Oh, Toto! Don't...
Mia: Almira Gulch, just because you own half the county doesn't mean you have the power to run the rest of us! For twenty-three years, I've been dying to tell you what I thought of you! And now -- well, being a Christian woman, I can't say it!
Ella: *closes curtains*
Sylvia: Please allow our actors to take a small 5 minute break and for us to prepare for our next scene. Thank you.
Ella: *opens curtains*
Erica: Toto, darling! Oh, I got you back! You came back! Oh, I'm so glad! Toto! Oh, they'll be coming back for you in a minute. We've got to get away! We've got to run away -- quick!
Ella: *closes curtains and everyone gets ready for the next scene*
Unrcal: *changes flooring and background*
Ella: *opens curtains*
Erica: *runs along the stage*
Unrcal: *gets on an exercise bike and starts petaling to show that the background is moving*
Erica: *stops* Oh, look Toto.
Jolt: Well, well, well -- house guests, huh? And who might you be? No, no -- now don't tell me. *sits down by a fire* Let's see -- you're -- you're traveling in disguise. No, that's not right. I -- you're -- you're going on a visit. No, I'm wrong. That's...You're -- running away.
Erica: How did you know?
Jolt: Professor Marvel never guesses -- he knows! Now, why are you running away?
Erica: Why --
Jolt: No, no -- now don't tell me. They -- they don't understand you at home. They don't appreciate you. You want to see other lands -- big cities -- big mountains -- big oceans --
Erica: Why, it's just like you could read what was inside of me! *sits by the fire as well*
Jolt: Yes --
Erica: Please, Professor, why can't we go along with you?
Jolt: ... *starts roasting a weaner*
Poochyena: *grabs weaner*
Erica: Toto! Bad dog.
Jolt: *laughs* *sticks another weaner on the stick* He's perfectly welcome. As one dog to another, huh? Here now -- let's see where were we? *puts down stick* Oh, yes - you - you wanted to go home, huh?
Erica: Oh, no, I wanted to go along with you.
Jolt: Oh
Erica: Nobody cares about me at home. They wouldn't even miss me.
Jolt: Aw, come, come, come --
Erica: No, they won't - honestly.
Jolt: Oh --
Erica: Auntie Em was even going to let them kill Toto yesterday for biting Miss Gulch. Oh, please, Professor, why can't we go with you and see all the Crowned Heads of Europe?
Jolt: Do you know any? Oh, you mean the thing -- Yes, well, I -- I never do anything without consulting my crystal first. Let's....
Erica & Jolt: *go inside wagon*
Ella: *closes curtains*
Unrcal: *changes scene and props*
Ella: *opens curtains*
Jolt: ...go inside here -- we'll -- Just come along. I'll show you. There you are - right in there. *pulls out chair*
Erica: *sits down*
Jolt: That's right. Here -- sit right down here. That's it. Ha ha! This -- this is the same genuine, magic, authentic crystal used by the Priests of Isis and Osiris in the days of the Pharaohs of Egypt -- in which Cleopatra first saw the approach of Julius Caesar and Marc Anthony, and -- and so on -- and so on.Now, you -- you'd better close your eyes, my child, for a moment -- in order to be better in tune with the infinite. We -- we can't do these things without... ...infinite. Yes.
Niko: *whisper-shouts* Ella! We need you!
Ella and Niko: *help with the illusion of the crystal ball*
Niko: *turns on a projection of prerecorded footage*
Jolt: That's -- that's all right. Now you can open them. We'll gaze into the crystal. Ahh -- what's this I see? A house -- with a picket fence...and a barn -- with a weather vane and a -- of a -- of a running horse. No - it's - it's - a crowing rooster.
Erica: That's our farm!
Jolt: Oh -- yes. Yes, there's -- there's a woman --she's... she's wearing a polka-dot dress.... her face is careworn.
Erica: Yes...That's Aunt Em.
Jolt: Her -- her name is Emily
Erica: That's right. What's she doing?
Jolt: Well, I -- I can't quite see. Why, she's crying.
Erica: Oh --
Jolt: Someone has hurt her -- someone has just about broken her heart.
Erica: Me?
Jolt: Well, it's -- it's someone she loves very much. Someone she's been very kind to. Someone she's taken care of in sickness.
Erica: I had the measles once -- and she stayed right by me every minute.
Jolt: Uh-huh.
Erica: What's she doing now?
Jolt: Well, she's - she's going into a little bed.... room
Erica: Has it poppies on the wallpaper
Jolt: I said it had poppies on the wall paper! Eh -- she's -- What's this? Why, she's -- she's putting her hand on her heart -- she's -- she's dropping down on the bed.
Erica: Oh, no -- no!
Jolt: That's all -- the Crystal's gone dark.
Erica: Oh, you ...you don't suppose she could really be sick, do you? Oh -- Oh, I've got to go home right away!
Jolt: But -- what's this? I thought you were going along with me.
Erica: Oh, no, no, I have to get to her right....*runs out, picks up Toto, goes down the stairs, grabs suitcase* away! Come on, Toto! Oh, what'll I do? If we go home, they'll send you to the Sheriff. And if we don't, Aunt Em may -- well, she may die! I know what I'll do - I'll give you to Hunk. He'll watch out for you. But we've got to hurry. Goodbye, Professor Marvel -- and thanks a lot!
Jolt: Better get under cover, Sylvester -- there's a storm blowing up -- a whopper, to speak in the vernacular of the peasantry. Poor little kid -- I hope she gets home all right.
Sylvia: SCENE! Change scenery!
Ella: *opens curtains*
Mio: Hunk, get them horses loose! Where's Hickory. Hickory! Hickory! Doggone it! Hick -- Hey, what are you doing there?
Liam: This is my chance! The cyclone is coming. Let me show you what my machine can do! You see, it goes --
Mio: Doggone you! Help Hunk get them horses loose!
Liam: All right - you'll be sorry.
Mio: Go on, hurry up! Hurry up I tell you!
Streak: She's here -- it's a twister!
Niko: *holds down a giant Cardboard prop by a few strings, turning it back and forth*
Ella: *turns on fan*
Mia: Dorthy! Dorthy!
Mio: Come on -- everybody in the storm cellar!
Erica: *starts running on to the set*
Mia: Henry! Henry! I can't find Dorothy! She's somewhere out in the storm! Dorothy!
Erica: Auntie Em! Auntie Em!
Ella & Unrcal: *quickly switch set*
Erica: We're not on the ground, Toto! We must be up inside....
Ella: *closes set*
Unrcal: *get other props ready*
Ella: *opens set*
Erica: Toto -- I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore....