"Hello?"
"I didn't take your advice last night and continued to drink."
"MG, why are you calling me at seven in the morning ON A SATURDAY?!"
"Please for the love of goodness stop yelling and what the hell is MG?"
"Mustang guy?"
"That's the best you could come up with?"
"It came to me in my sleep. I take it as a sign of complete badassness."
"Is that even a word?"
"Of course it is and why are you whispering?"
"Because there is a naked chick in my bed and I don't want her to hear me."
"Still doesn't explain why you called me."
"According to you I'm a rude person and after you hung up on me, I started thinking that maybe you were right but I have my reasons for acting like I do. So because of you, I have this chick in my bed and I want to politely tell her to scram."
"So tell her you have somewhere to be and she needs to leave."
"She has to sign some paperwork before she goes and I really don't want to be here when she does it but I don't want to be an asshole about it either."
"Why does she have to sign paperwork?"
"Because . . . because people are always watching me."
"Are you running away from somebody? Are you - how old are you, MG?"
"Stop calling me MG and I'm twenty-two."
"At least now I know you're not running from home. So, who are you running from?"
"It doesn't matter. I need help getting her to leave."
"If I help you, will you leave me alone to drown in sleep?"
"If you give me a better name than MG, yes."
"What if it stood for mysterious guy since you won't tell me why she has to sign papers before leaving?"
"No."
" . . . . "
" . . . . "
"Fine and I'm totally rolling my eyes right now."
"Thank you."
"Go back to bed, turn your cell volume all the way up, and put me on speaker when I call."
"You're the greatest."
"I know."
- - -