My favorite artist blasts through the speakers as I dance around the shower. I welcome the hot water sliding over my skin creeping down my back and relaxing the tensest of places. It would seem that a shower can cure most of your stresses just by taking the time to enjoy the silence and letting go the worries you may be having along the way.
I felt as though everything seems to pause for a moment as I was able to actually enjoy my life. The office life was only beneficial to have a stable income but not everyone enjoyed sitting in a business suit for hours or enclosed in a cubical for long periods of time. I understand the definition of insanity in those moments.
"May I join?"
His voice interrupts that of my thoughts. When he steps into the shower his tanned skin glistening from the sweat. I assumed he must have gone for a jog. "Of course," I breathe.
The sight of his nude body causes me to blush slightly as he's actually the one who wanted to join me. I feel his fingers wrap around my waist as he pulls me close to his embrace. Even the shower couldn't relax me as much as him.
"This was a great idea, Ellie."
"I'm glad you like it."
"You have truly amazed me beyond words. I don't even know how I could ever make you this amazed," he states.
I turn around wrapping my arms around his neck. "I don't want you to feel like you have to make me amazed. I just simply want you next to me. We can play video games or take naps together. Couple things." I sound exasperated by trying to think of the right words to say.
"Video games?"
"Have you ever played a video game?" I'm puzzled seeing how he may have been deprived of his basic childhood rights.
Mr. Hale lets the silence take over as the splashing sound of the water hitting the floor drowns out any noise other than the sound of my beating heart. He raises his fingers to grace over my shoulders tenderly. "There are many things I hadn't have the privilege of enjoying. The simple things in life seem to be foreign when you are someone of my stature. I sometimes even loathe that of a person with less wealth than me because it would seem that even my life of luxury would be something worth living." His voice drags out the melancholy laced underneath his bitterness.
"Your life is very much worth living. You have so much to offer the world, Xander. You have offered me so much that even the naivety of my own conscience seemed t–"
"I'm unworthy of you," he interrupts.
I feel his arms tighten the grip around my waist pulling in for a hug. This must be what peace feels like. To be comfortable in the arms of the person who has become more a part of you than even you could have imagined. The attachment I had towards this man had even seemed kind of intimidating knowing that I lacked no willpower to love another. It would be me that would be at a true loss if he ever did decide he wanted to be in a relationship no longer.
"Why Canada?"
The question interrupts my thoughts as a smile slowly forms on my face. "Alberta, Canada is where we're supposed to be going to Banff National Park. They have amazing mountains that I just had to see the scenery for myself," I admit. "It seems like it would be breathtaking to see something like that for yourself. Especially with the pictures on Google and Tumblr."
"Traveling is your favorite thing to do."
It sounds more like a rhetorical observation but I oblige his statement. "Being on the road is possibly one of the best things about living. No rules. No limits. No long days working in the office. No struggling to pay bills. Although traveling can be expensive. It's like my secret getaway." I pick up the soap next to me rubbing the oval-shaped scented bar along his bare chest slowly watching the suds turn into small bubbles.
"My adoptive family likes to travel as well, but not for the sceneries. We have family in Paris and sometimes it's for business as well. My father's father lives in Paris and owns a big company over there. I'm unsure of what it is specifically because my French is a little rusty."
"How many languages do you speak?"
"Just three. English, French, and a little Creole."
"Why Creole?"
"Because Louisiana is the destination where Dwight, Glen and I use to visit the most for multiple reasons," he glances down at me as I lower the soap around his lower abdomen. "Before you, my whole lifestyle was different and strict in terms of enjoying the pleasures of life. I didn't indulge in most of the things that Dwight and Glen had, but everyone once in a while my urges needed to be satisfied."
I admired his honesty even if it wasn't something I wanted to hear because that meant he felt comfortable opening up to me and telling me the things I wanted to know. The best part of having him being open enough to converse about his earlier life meant that he had lots of stories to tell.
"Before we... had sex. How long had it been since you been with another woman?"
The question provoking the unwanted anxiety building up within my chest. I instantly regret asking the question seeing that if it was recent then I wouldn't feel so special. One day the curiosity will get the best of me and I will have to answer to the consequences of knowing an answer I did not wish to know.
"A while. Maybe eight or so months. I cannot recall honestly."
I caress around the base of him slowly massaging the soap over his pubic hair which had been shaven down prior to us leaving from New York by the inch or two that began to grow. Mr. Hale places his hand against the wall where the shower head to steady himself. My grip on him tightening as I have to use both of my hands to stroke him.
I'm now eye level with him slowly rubbing his shaft around my lips as the soap slides down my neck. His answer pleases my thoughts in which I want to reward him with his shaft at the base of my throat. I slide my tongue over the protruding vein making sure to tease his arousal so that he takes me like he's been wanting this for a while. When I feel his hand maneuvering my head back and forth on his shaft I feel as though I am doing something right.
Every stroke with my tongue and hands left him defenseless underneath my touch. He grabs me suddenly pinning me against the shower wall. His lips cease and desist any negative thoughts that might have been provoking me before. I had been left with the tenderness of his fingers tickling and caressing the goosebumps appearing on my skin. This had been the first moment where I believed we both were in peace together.
"Let's go," he whispers against my lips.
Once again it is him who says its enough.
I never want to leave this exact moment and I know many times over I'll revisit this memory of this intimacy.
"Wow."
The brown hues of the mountains highlighted by the snow caps all around. It truly had been the most amazing site I had ever seen in life and I got to share it with an even more amazing person. I watch Mr. Hale slide both of his hands into the pockets of his jeans accompanied by that of his charcoal grey cashmere sweater. Every inch of his muscles clings to the fabric that seems to fit his physique perfectly. I was jealous.
He really did look like he could model for any and every clothing brand. He was perfect.
"This is really an amazing place. I have always appreciated the beauty of nature and vowed to spend most of my days searching and capturing every beautiful moment."
I look down to appreciate the sloshing sound of the water hitting the sand and the sounds of birds chirping in the distance. This sounded way better than the sounds of honking horns, loud chatter, and the clicking of keyboards. New York was the city was nice but it didn't compare in beauty at all.
"I agree it is a sight worth seeing. Peaceful almost. Shall we?"
He extends his hand out towards me as he asks. A smile presently on his face breaks my heart into a million pieces. I have finally made the man of my dreams happy with such a presence as this. I place my fingers in his as we step up to the edge of a cliff to overlook every inch of the beauty before us.
I feel his arms wrap around my waist with his embrace keeping that of my balance so that we were close enough to look down at the trees below us. I feel safe. As safe as I ever could be. "I am glad that I met you the way I did," he whispers into my ear.
"I am too."
The flashback of a year ago seem to flood like a music video. When I first stumbled trying to get out of the office and even the moment to where we shared our first lunch together. The vivid memories also bring that of the painful memories. The arguments, the deceit, the lies, and the part of his departure. My heart thumps harder underneath my chest reminding me that even as we share this moment together that he could eventually leave me as if it were nothing. "When you left.. I thought that there was no way I could ever feel as deeply as for anyone as I would for you. It was like you kept stabbing me over, and over, and over again. I know why you left but I just want you to know that you have grown to become the man you are because of your perseverance and faith. I don't mean to bring up the past. But here as you're holding me now I feel myself slowly falling apart in your arms. I'm just so in love with you at this moment that I couldn't bear the thought of being with anyone else. There is no one else for me." The tear sliding down over my cheek was a sign of happiness now.
The happiness of being whole when I felt like the piece I had been missing would be filled by another. There is no other for me. I realized that now standing here.
"I can feel the both of our hearts in sync with one another. It's peaceful. I've never really stood in one place long enough to appreciate the beauty in its simplicity," his voice soft and soothing to the windy blowing the cool air as a reminder that this isn't a dream. "I can't imagine any other woman taking your place. My secretary even makes me sick just looking at where you use to sit and your presence. You have left your mark on me."
I cannot help but chuckle at his tone of disgust towards his new secretary. Although I had no reason to be jealous. Any and every woman posed a threat to my role in his life. Slowly he was turning into a grounded and committed man, but at any time he could change his mind and decide that he didn't want this anymore. I would be obliged to respect his demands even if my heart would be broken forever.
"I just know that maybe one day you'll be tempted by the temptations of the club," I admit to myself more than I was admitting to him.
Mr. Hale applies a bit of pressure to my waist as he sighs heavily. "The club has nothing more to offer me. I do not expect you to believe in what I say, but I would never lie to you about my feelings. I know I did before. But I have become more of an honest man in your presence than ever before. You are not just another business deal, you are not just another conquest, and you will never be subjected to those terms ever. I promise you that Ellie." The honesty rolls off his tone like music to my ears.
That's better than I love you any day. I know that if he keeps being sentimental I will break down in tears. "Let's go kayaking!!" I burst out in a chirpy tone so that it startled him slightly.
I laugh slightly taking his hand in between mine.
The water is just as beautiful below as it is above. It's smooth as the oval-shaped paddles slide down into the water making soft splashing sounds as we rotate the movement of the paddles in around rotation to send the kayak forward. This was my first time kayaking, ever! This was my first time kayaking with the person who made the world melt away. "You are a natural, my dear," Mr. Hale compliments me from behind as he watches our simultaneous movements sync together.
This felt like I had been running away from everything in the past and decided to do what my heart wanted to do. I had spent hours trying to rationalize the behavior of people for the last year or so. I hadn't really got the chance to rationalize what I wanted out of life. This was the break I needed to finally decide I was going to make a career change. The cubical lifestyle wasn't for me anymore. I loved the benefits it gave me, but now I need to pursue something that was going to bring meaning to my life.
"What are you thinking about?" Mr. Hale questions.
I debated if this was the appropriate time to tell him, but when would the time ever be appropriate. "I was just thinking that maybe I should take some time off work, and do something I've been dying to do," I admit.
"Me too."
It was as if our minds had been in sync with one another as well. It seems that even though we were both totally engrossed in our work. It would be a wild idea to just go traveling for a while. "We should do this more often," I suggest. I wanted to cast a web around the idea to see if he would catch onto the bait I was throwing.
There is silence between us once more when I realize he's deep in thought back there. I get a childish idea to rock the boat side to side. "Ellie!! Don't you think about it!!" He warns like a parent to a child. I couldn't help but giggle only to keep rocking the boat along the open water. When I look back at him he has a grin he tries hard to subside but then tips us over completely. The chilly water wakes every sense in my body reminding me that I am alive to experience this very moment.
I kick my feet reaching the surface where we both greet each other laughing. "It is sooo c-cold," my teeth chattering as I splash him with water.
"I did try to warn you, Miss Donovan."
"Indeed you did."
"But even as rebellious as you are. I love it when you're disobedient."
"Is that so?" I ask swimming closer to him as we linger a few inches from one another.
Mr. Hale nods running a hand through his hair. "I don't think I've ever been this happy being with a person or being in a different area. This feeling of not going by the book or meeting a deadline. The constant calling or texting. The constant making sure employee's know what their job description is. I get to revisit some of my younger days. I never had this type of lifestyle with my adoptive parents. It was always practiced this, lessons that, business trips here, expensive vacation there, expensive dinners, expensive banquets. Our vacations usually consist of gossip and rewards to expand my business. Never....."
"Fun."
I finish his sentence for him. "We have got to get you to play at least one video game." I raise my pinky finger up to his face as he does the same. "Pinky promise." A smile forming on my face.
"People still do that?"
"Correction! I still do that."
"Alright then... weirdo," he rolls his eyes in a playful away.
It makes me want to pout so that I end up splashing him with water again. He grabs my wrist pulling me closer into his arms where the water warms up. My eyes glaze over his perfectly sculpted face which I am blessed to wake up to each day. "Xander. Isaac. Mesen. Hale."
"Ellie. Francis. Donovan."
"I am falling in love with you."
His fingers move the wild strands of hair from my face as he leans in for a kiss. I have learned that being patient with him opening up would make his words seem more rewarding than forcing him to admit them. "I think I fell in love with you a long time ago," he whispers against my lips.
The cold temperature of the water seems less effective as he has warmed my spirit with his affections. I place my hands against his cheeks placing my lips upon his. The kiss feeling needier as the seconds go by. His arms wrap around my waist pulling me in closer and he lifts me up to where I am looking down at him. My fingers wrap around his locks of hair where I find refuge. Our lips stay locked together before I pull away. This time I am the one who stops this loving embrace.
"I could take you right here and no one would know."
His voice is deep with no hint of irony-laced underneath his sexual undertone. I am almost obliged to take him up on the offer, but I would rather be in the comfort of our bed than in this freezing water. "As much as I would love to.. this water is entirely too cold for me to attempt to get naked in the name of sex," I giggle.
"Well, you'd only be cold for a moment."
"Mmm.. stop."
"Stop what?"
"Let's go before we scare the fishes."
Mr. Hale chuckles as he nods to my request. The swim back over to the kayak let me admire the view of the park from a 360-degree point of view. The vast sea of greenery seem to stretch as far as my eyes could see, and the rustling of the branches in the distance drowned out any other present sound. I could even see a deer in the distance grazing nearby unstartled by our presence. "I'll go up first because I am clearly heavier than you," he informs me.
I watch him hoist himself up into the kayak. It was like one of those commercials or music video's where you see how defined the male's muscles are even with the slightest effort. I don't know how I could ever get tired of admiring him in the ways that I do. He could even gain a few pounds and I know the sexual attraction would still be there. Does love cloud your judgment this much?
"Ellie?"
He calls out interrupting my thoughts. His arm is stretched out to me almost baring the question as if I am worthy enough to run alongside this man and all his struggles. I take his hand without any doubt. There is no questioning my love for this man had left me speechless, secure, and bound. I could picture the rest of my life pleasing him in every way he asked of me. I didn't even need children or marriage from him.
"Let's go home, shall we?"
"I am home."