T A E H Y U N G
I am Kim Taehyungㅡ one and only son of The KIM Family and heir to the biggest company in Seoul. The intelligent, good-looking, most valued and always perfect Kim Taehyungㅡ well at least that's what they wanted me to be or should I say who I think I was, before everything turned upside down for me.
I loved art and photographyㅡ I always do and always will. But they forbidden me to do what I love. Reason? Well, they said it will not get me anywhere. They said doing what I 'love' will not benefit usㅡ our company. Everything is about our company, company this, company that.
But don't get me wrong, my family loves me, they doㅡ they supported me every step of the way except 'my love for art'.They showered me with affection and care, a perfect family indeed. They love me, I know they really do, before everything turned upside down for me.
They love-d me, then..
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I've been living with my most favorite and beloved cousinㅡ the amazing, oddly handsome, cold (?) and full of swagㅡ Min Yoongi for about... three weeks now. Yeap, you heard me right. I'm living in his mansion as of the moment due to some circumstances.
"Taebear, I'm going to get something from the store!" He shouted from the hallway.
"Oh! Okaaay, Yoongibeaarㅡ be careful on your way then!" I shouted back sitting on the edge of my bed. I heard him leaned on the wall and chuckled a bit.
"Do you want anything?" He asked cutely as he tapped on my wall. I pouted with my fingers on my chin, thinking deeply. I heard him walked towards me and he ruffled my hair mumbling 'so cute'.
"U-uhmm. Maybe someㅡ" I started mumbling, still thinking what I wanted to get. He hummed urging me to take my time.
"S-some vanilla and strawberry ice cream, please. And maybeㅡ get me some cappuccino frappe and oreo cheesecake from the cafe down the road?" I mumbled softly while smiling my boxy smile.
"Wow, that's a lotㅡ but okay! Anything for you my taebear." He said sweetly as he patted and ruffled my hair again. I whined cutely and he chuckled.
"You keep on messing my hair, hyung!" I scoffed pouting my lips and crossed my arms.
"Because you're so cute, bear~ㅡI'll go now, though. See you later! And don't do something stupid." He said playfully as he kissed my forehead. I hummed and nodded giggling.
"Alrighty, yoongibeaar~ be careful!" I exclaimed happily. I heard the door shut closed and his car engine rumbled.
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I was currently standing outside my room sweating and gulpingㅡ thinking and trying to remember what hyungie had explained to me before.
"Y-you can do this, T-tae!" I mumbled to myself encouraginglyㅡ nodding my head violently, assuring myself that I can do this. I inhaled and exhaled, calming myself down and started walking.
"Yoongibear... Uhmm... He said to take two steps forward from my door to reach the middle of the hallwayㅡ " I mumbled as I took two steps forward.
"To reach my room, you should turn left & take five steps forward then turn right & take two steps forward and voila you're infront of my door.ㅡbut if you want to go downstairs, from the middle of the hallway,you should turn right & take seven steps and you'll reach the stairs." Yoongi Hyung's voice echoed in my head like a mantra.
"Okay! Turn right it isㅡ and just take...seven steps." I whispered remembering what hyungie told me.
"Slowly, tae... slowly." I relaxed myself as I took seven slow steps to reach the stairs.
"Alright! After seven steps, Yoongibear told me to reach out for the railings.." I reminded myself as I gently reached for the railings.
"Okay.. Nowㅡ I have to take fifteen flight of stairs down." I mumbled taking careful steps.
"You have to be careful here, bear. Stairs were extremely dangerous. So take it slowly here. And be careful!" I remembered what he said and I giggled.
I successfully reached the end of the stairsㅡ with a lot of stopovers and hesitations, I almost backed out but nonetheless, stubborn me decided to continue and to not chicken out. I smiled proudly and take a quick rest.
"What now?" I whispered to myself giggling lightly since I don't remember anything from here on. 'Pabo tae, you should've listened diligently when hyungie is explaining things.'
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You should've guessed by nowㅡ yes, that's correct.. I'm blind... Well not completely blind since it's temporary they saidㅡ but that's still considered blind, yes?
I've got a post-traumatic visual loss, after the devastating accident I've been in.
F L A S H B A CK
I was crossing the streetㅡ properly crossing the street. It was a winter chilly midnight, the street was empty, few cars and people could be seen, the light was green and I am on the pedestrian lane. I was walking slowly with my hands inside my coat's pocket, it's snowingㅡ and it's beautiful. I always love the snow, I love-d it. I was born in winter, I guessed that rubbed off in me.
I was about to reach the the end of the street, when suddenly bright lights flashed through my peripheral vision, I heard someone screamed 'watch out!' And it made me turn to my right side and I saw a fast car approaching me, just a few meters away from me. 'Smell of burnt wheel and gas, screeching sound of tires, series of honks'ㅡ I widened my eyes and I tried to move and run, but it's too late, I'm too late..
I felt a huge impact on my bodyㅡ it hurt, it hurt so much and after a millisecond I found myself flying from the impact then I hit the ground violently causing me to toss and turn on the cold snow, my headㅡ it hurt so fucking much and it felt like it's splitting into two. I laid there lifelessly and afterwards all I see was black.
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I've undergone a series of surgery and neurosurgeryㅡ and it was all successful. I've got a severe head trauma a fractured ribs, arms and legs but nonetheless I am fine, and I've gotten better in time.
My parents were so worried about me, since I've been in the hospital for almost a month, recovering from the accidentㅡ well as for the person who got me into this accident, he is currently having his life in prison. My parents were so angry and mad at him, to the point they made sure he will be in jail forever. He told them he was drunk and the road was slippery that nightㅡ but those weren't a valid reason to almost kill an innocent life.
After a month of countless blood testing, long-syringe pricking, scary consulatations, and just fucking hospital shitsㅡ I was finally released from that hell hole.
My life was back, well maybe not entirely my life since I still needed to take it easy and try to have some rest, once in awhile.
Everything was okayㅡ I've gotten better, the bandages were removed and I can finally walk again without limping, I can finally used my arms again and my head was getting better. For my psychological and mental healthㅡ I guessed I'm fine (?) well, my psychologist told me I'm perfectly coping with stress and anxiety. So yeah, I'm fine.
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One morning, we're having a family breakfast. My parents and I were happily chatting and laughing. After our little family time, My parents were about to leave to the companyㅡ and me to the university.
I stood up and picked up my bag and coat. I took a step forward. Then suddenlyㅡ suddenly I felt a huge surge of some kind of electricity in my head to my temples, it's painful. My vision became hazy and blurry. I reached out for something to hold on to as I blinked my eyes again and again, luckily my butler was there to catch me and hold me in place. He asked me if I'm alright and I slowly nodded mumbling 'I'm fine, just dizzy.'
My parents quickly ran to me asking the same. I nodded and hummed but my vision was not getting any clearer, I tried closing my eyes to open it again, but my vision got hazier than it was before.
I felt my tears falling from my eyes, anxiety was lurking up inside me and I'm so scared, so so scaredㅡ I stumbled back and I was having a hard time breathing.. It's.. getting darker.. I heard someone said, 'panic attack! he's having a panic attack!', 'call the doctor quick!' and 'Taehyung, you'll be fine.' before my consciousness left my body.
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I woke up and I realized I was back in the hospital again, based on the smell and the wires they got on meㅡ what a shame.
I opened my eyes, and blinked it and I did it again and again.
'No no this can't be...' I thought to myself, I'm starting to feel so so bad again.
"Mom? Dad? Minjae?" I softly called out crying and whimpering. I immediately heard someone walked towards me and held my hands tightly.
"Hey taebear..."
"H-hyunngg??" I asked softly, crying harder. I also started to shake slightly and have a hard time breathing. My panic attack approaching.
"Hey hey it's okay.. Hyung's here." He whispered as he leaned in to me and pulled my head on his chest gently rubbing my arm to calm me down. And it helped a lot.
"H-hyung... I-I c-an't see... W-whyㅡ it's d-dark, I'm so scared hyung..."
"Shhh.. I know taebear. I'm here don't worry, no need to be scared.. I'm here.. Shh.." He said, broken and sad, I know he's crying since I felt his tears rolled down my face. I cried on his chest more.
I tried hugging himㅡ finding where I should put my arms on. He gently guided my arms and placed it on his neck and shoulder. We hugged each other tightly.
"H-hyung, don't l-leave me please. It's d-dark in h-here. I d-don't like it. M'so scared."
"I'm not gonna leave you bear, I'm here. Everything's gonna be okay. Shhh, don't cry now..."
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When I thought everything was going fine, I felt happy and relieved. I thought after that tragic accidentㅡafter suffering for a long time already.. I thought that maybe bad days would be over for me... or so I thought.
Because the day I lost my eyesightㅡ that was also the day I lost my parents, my family...
They told me, they don't need a disabled, un-perfect, and blind son. They told me how can I even take over the company now when I couldn't even do one simple thingㅡ to walk freely without stumbling over some furniture.
They told me they shouldn't be seen with meㅡ saying it's a huge disgrace to the family and they would only be a laughed at in front of their business partners and they didn't want that.
They told me that they rather have a dead son, than to have a blind, disabled son like me.
Funny to think that the once always-perfect son they hadㅡwas now thrown away just like a piece of garbage because of the circumstances I couldn't and wouldn't be able to control.
I never chose to be like thisㅡ heck I never wanted to be like this.
They left me when I needed them the most. They left me because I couldn't be the one they thought I would..
They left me because they don't need me anymore.
And I started to not feel anything for them too.
They un-love meㅡ and I started to do the same.
E N D OF F L A S H B A C K
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Yoongibear asked me to just stay with him saying he had enough of my parents. I agreed and left 'our home' well not anymore, and started living with him, that's why I'm here at his mansion. For the past weeks I felt genuine love and happiness again.
Yoongibear took care of me and made sure that I'm always fineㅡ I don't know why he still kept me. I'm a huge burden, but he always said, I'm not, that I'll never be and never will and I should stop thinking like thatㅡ and if he will be asked to choose again whether to leave or take me, he will do the same over and over again and that is to take and keep meㅡ because he loves me so so much and I'm like a baby brother he has never had.
I'm extremely grateful for him, and I love him the same. If it's not for him maybe I'm not even alive anymore. He helped me in anyways possible, so I'm gonna do what he always wanted and that's to help my self out of my depression and live happily again with him and maybe find some new friendsㅡ I'm gonna do all of that to thank him for sticking by my side when I needed love, care and happiness the most.
I made sure to take my meds daily, I always come to my consultationsㅡ my psychologist, since I've been getting a lot of panic and axiety attacks often, but I'm getting better! And my neurosurgeon, for my brain and eye conditionㅡ since he told me it can help us a lot.
Hyung always went with me to the hospital during consultations ㅡ telling me that 'yoongibear should always be present to support me and be the first one to know how well I'm doing.' And I seriously laughed at his cuteness. He was so cold to others but fluffy and sweet to me, just for me!
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P R E S E N T
I sighed quietly when I didn't know what to do anymore. I forgotten what to do next after I finished the stairs. I fidgeted my sweater as I tried thinking again to remember some more detailsㅡ but alas! I'm forgetful, I giggled lightly to my silliness.. With no plan, I just decided to sit on the very last step of the stairs and wait for Yoongibeaar to come back.
"Yup! That's what I'm going to do!" I shouted softly still giggling.
*thud!*