Remie Aliza Moore
Born: July 16
Weight: 7 lb 2 oz.
Time: 11:24pm
Race/Ethnicity: African American
Mother: Zoe Grace Moore
Mother's place of birth: Texas
Father: Unknown
Father's place of birth: Unknown
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Aiva Amina Moore
Born: July 16
Weight: 6 lb 8 oz
Time: 11:30pm
Race/Ethnicity: African American
Mother: Zoe Grace Moore
Mother's place of birth: Texas
Father: Unknown
Father's place of birth: Unknown
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I don't know how many times I've looked at their birth certificates, but I smiled everytime I read that the father was Unknown. They didn't exist anymore. They had their part of donating their unwanted seed. I have successfully washed the guys from our lives. I've been home with them for 6 weeks now.
For some reason, most of my genes decided to take a backseat to the guys. I always pictures my kids coming out with curly black hair & maybe light brown eyes, like my dad's. Instead they came with sandy blonde hair & blue eyes. I'm not disasapointed though. They're still my beautiful babies.
To me it looks like Aiva's eyes are getting a little darker in color. I don't know why, but when I went to the Dr., She said it's possible even though they're supposed to be identical. The body reacts to life differently. Environmental factors or something.
I don't really care. As long as they're healthy, they could have black or neon eyes. It would just scare me at night. That's all.
Anywho, Today is August 26th. It's been 36 weeks since I successfully ran away from the guys. About 8 months & 2 weeks...Around 253 days.
Today is the 2nd day I'm taking them outside. I mean I've walked them down the driveway & held them with Abby in the front yard, but that's about it. Yesterday I took them to the park. Today I'm taking them back to the park, since it's so nice outside.
Abby has been over almost every day since they were born, even if only for a little while. She sleeps over if she doesn't have to work the next day.
I ended up borrowing a bit of money from Abby for rent until I get back to work. I wanted to be extra payed up. I promised I'd pay her back. She keeps telling me don't worry about it. I don't like owing people, so of course I'm paying it back as soon as possible.
Abbys also been buying them cute girly clothes that are too big for them right now & toys. I guess since this is the closest she'd be to a real aunt, since she's an only child. We've been close since working together, but with all the crap we've been through, it has made us closer then some blood relatives.
"Look what I found! I had to buy 2 for them" or "Look! They were all on sale" are her favorite phrases to say when she brings home clothes & toys they won't be able to use for 1 to 2 months. She needs to go to a budgeting class. I guess her customers love her at the diner, tipping her big. They'de probably tip me $1 as their waitress & be on their way.
Some of the lady's from my church groups have brought food for me, to see the babies & pray for them. Some of the food was really good, some not so much, but it was the thought that counts.
It was time to take them out, I got the baby bag & put it in the bottom of the stroller. I dressed them in cute little matching light yellow onsie dresses with white polkadots that a lady from church got me.
I had on a black baseball cap with black leggings, black sneakers & an oversized pink t-shirt. I put some lipstick on & eyeliner because I felt like adding my makeup touch.
So yes. The weather was really nice & I felt all healed up, for the most part. so I decided today was another great park day, to let them go out in the world. I put them both in their stroller. I covered them from the sun with light blankets, gave them both pacifiers & left the house.
It felt weird taking them out yesterday for the first official time. Today it felt a little better. I just don't want them to grow up Indoor hermits.
I'm not an OCD person, I refuse to be one of those ladies that thinks dirt is the devil for kids. I mean, my mom said I use to put grass in my mouth & I came out just fine...I kept checking them to make sure they were cozy & safe in their stroller.
They're really good babies. I'm surprised since people kept telling me horror stories, saying I wasn't going to get any sleep & get ready for crying nights.
I don't have the courage to put them in their cribs overnight yet. I have them sleep with me & my pregnancy pillow as a barrier from the floor. While I'm up, they are in their cribs though.
We made it to the park, there were quite a bit of people here & there. Relaxing on the grass, playing frisbee & kids playing on the playground. You could tell people were out of school for the summer.
I had that weird feeling that eyes were on me, but I chalked it up to the fact that I haven't been out in public for awhile. I didn't have the feeling the other day though. I looked around just in case. Since I've learned you can never be too careful why you get that feeling.
Remie started to cry & it changed my focus from looking around to checking on her. I sat on a bench near the sidewalk & pulled a bottle from their bag that I had pumped earlier that day. I pulled her out & started feeding her. I took the blanket off of Aiva to check on her. She was just looking around with her fist in her little mouth. The pacifier had fallen out & I guess she improvised. I just stuck it back in her mouth.
A blonde woman came walking by & stopped where we were. She looked to be about 35 or 36 years old. She had a small scar above her lip that caught my eye as she began talking.
"Oh theyre so precious. How old are they" she said coming in for a closer look. It was a bit too close for my comfort so I sat back a little more pulling the big stroller closer to me with Aiva still in it. I hoped she would get the hint.
I didn't think too much of her stopping. I've been with people that had babies & women would walk up all the time asking their names, how old the baby was & complement on their looks or behaviour.
So I just had to get use to it. Most women past their 20s, love babies more. I've even done it myslef.
"They're 6 weeks" I replied kindly.
She backed away some, looked at me like she was thinking, then continued "Well they're just adorable" she looked at Remie "Yes you are. Such a sweet girl aren't you. "
"Why was she talking to my child like a dog" I thought. Have I ever done that to a poor baby? Anyway, she looked at me again "Well have a good day & take care of those sweet babies" she said as she stood back up & left. I watched as she walked down the street. Well, she was an interesting lady.
After finishing up with Remie, I strapped her back in her seat. I didnt want to go back home yet. Id spent almost all of the last 6 weeks inside, so I decided to walk around a bit more. The babies were getting grumpy so I decided it was time to go home.
I'm happy I can be free to live life again. I had a short thought of wondering what poor girls the guys had chosen now since I was probably out of sight out of mind.
As I walked home, I wondered how long it took them to get over looking for me. My guess was 4 months. Maybe not even that, with how many women they have to chose from. Maybe a month before they said screw Zo, we'll find another girl.
I don't know why I started thinking about that out of the blue. Maybe it was the lady asking questions about the girls that mad me somehow think of them.
I made it home right before sunset. I took the girls out of their seats & checked their diapers. This is my life now assistant librarian single mom of 2. Boring?- Yes. Safe? -most likely. Am I complaining? -after the crap I've been through, never. Boring is better then Painful forced punishments.
I received a text from Abby.
Abby:"Hey Zo, I won't be able to make it over tonight. Matt surprised me with a special night out. I'll call you later though. 😚😚💗💖
Me:"Awe, I guess I'll survive. I'll just have a girls night with the twinzies. We'll watch "Happy Feet" without you. 😜"
Abby: "I'm sorry.😇 He said he had something important to tell me too. He's got me worried"
Me:"Why would you jump to worry. Maybe he wants to get a puppy & he knows you suck at taking care of animals 😂"
Abby:"Whatever Zo, he might be sick or something. Ok I have to finish getting ready. I'll text later if you're up xoxo"
Me:"Woww! You went way to sickness. I still think it's a puppy but ok have fun. Tell him baby steps. Try a fish first 😅 Luv you bye 😘"
.
.
.
I was so tired. I only got past probably half the movie after feeding, changing & cleaning up the babies for bed. I looked at the clock. It was 1:20am when I jumped awake from hearing one of them crying next to me. It was Aiva. Then Remie woke up crying too. I picked up Aiva first & rocked her to sleep. I did the same to Remie. They just wanted to be held. When they were both sleep again, I fell back asleep with them close to me.
.
.
.
It was 6pm in the evening. I stayed inside the whole day looking for new jobs, how to make cash online & Pinterest baby tips. Abby had text me at 6am asking was I up. I simply replied "nope".
She told me she needed to tell me something in person tonight, so I had to wait til she arrived to tell me. She just had to be difficult.
When she arrived, I told her the babies were sleeping. She was disasapointed but we just hung out in the living room eating ice cream. "What did you want to tell me, that you made me wait all dang day for?" I said cutting to the chase
"Oh yeah! Well Matty had me freaking out. I thought he was dying or something. Turns out, he just wanted to propose." she continued eating like we were talking about the weather.
I stopped eating "Wait what!. What was your answer to him!"
"Well of course I said yes" she said taking another bite. She was doing this to me on purpose. I know she was. "Abby quit with the B.S." I whisper yelled so they wouldn't wake up.
"Ok fine" she smiled then put her cup of caramel swirl ice cream on the table. I did the same. I needed to hear this insanity.
"Well he took me to a cute little American style restaurant last night. He was acting wierd the whole meal. I thought he was going to say he was dying for real. He acted like he dropped something during the meal & got on one knee during dinner. I didn't know what to do. Everyone was looking at us too. I told him yes of course. Not because they were looking but because I can see myself with him married. Everyone clapped as we kissed too"
When she finished, I was almost speechless "Oh my gosh Abby. That's insane. Do you think you're ready for marriage. You're so young. Isn't it a bit soon in your relationship- I don't even know how to take this- I mean I'm happy for you"
"Yeah I think I'm ready. I mean we live together, I'm half way married already" she joked.
"Are you not happy for me Zo."
"No that's not it. I'm so happy for you girl. You make a great couple. Congratulations. When & where's the wedding?"
"Well actually, we know we want to have it in Texas because most of the people we know are there. We said maybe this November. It's going to be small- maybe 40 people"
"What the- This November! Abby you do know that's less then 3 months away?!?" I looked at her hand "Did he give you a ring" I added.
She smiled wider as she pulled a gold chain from around her neck. There was a pretty gold ring on it. " I just put it on here to surprise you. I've been wearing it all day on my finger. Ain't it pretty" she said
"It really is pretty. Well I guess my next question is you're going back to Texas?" I felt like if I went back, the guys would decide they weren't done with me or something.
"Yes. Just for the wedding though. I already called Mama Laura to tell her. She was so happy."
We finished talking about it & the details, she asked me to be her maid of honor. Which I said yes even though I still need to see if I want to risk returning to Texas so soon. In my plans, I wanted to stay a year in Utah, then maybe move back when I felt way safer
Abby & I finished our forgotten ice cream that was now soup. She stayed the night & Matt picked her up early in the morning so she wouldn't need an uber or lyft. She had the spare key, so I knew she'd lock up. I heard Matt's car, so I went back to sleep with the babies.
I was really happy for her in between my stressed shocked reaction. I guess we'll see what happens with their love life decisions. I have a few months to decide my own actions in the matter.