Have you ever felt like you just want to give up and leave the world? No? Well I have but I didn't end myself because I feel that everyone is alive for a reason. Everybody has a destiny and everybody has something to live for. Even though I have not found something to make living worth living I know that out there somebody needs me and I need them. And until I find them I will continue fighting. Fighting my urges to kill myself , fighting the pain from the abuse, fighting to find them. Even though I might die trying to escape as soon as I turn eighteen I'm leaving. I'm changing my name , moving away , and NEVER ever getting involved with another gang ever again.
"YOU USELESS WHORE WHERE THE FUCK IS MY FUCKING FOOD YOU FUCKING CUNT!" and the devil calls. I grab my bookbag and jump out my bedroom window knowing that I will get a beating either way and I should just leave and get a one later instead of two , one now and one later. I rush to catch the bus and sit down at the back.
Nobody tries to talk to me since I am classified as the "loner" or in less nice words the "freak". No I'm not a nerd like those cliche stories. People don't avoid me because I'm ugly or weird. I actually get a lot of compliments on my looks, but I just don't want friends they only make life more complicated and are never there for you in the long run. Even if they are there for you they will still somehow end up hurting you and I would just like to avoid getting hurt worse than I already am.
~~~~~~~~~
"Miss Remi may I ask you why you have a giant bruise on your eye again." Mrs. Clare asks.
"I ran into a .............. WALL .... ya I run into a wall" I answer as soon as she asks... Maybe too soon?
"Do I have anything to be concerned about? This is the fifth time this year you have come into school with a bruise on your face and school only started last month, should I call you dad?" She says voice full of concern but as soon as she says those last few words I jump out of my seat.
"NO!"
"I mean umm no their is no need to call him I just ran into another wall , I'm very clumsy. " I say hoping she will believe me , she just sucks her lips into a thin line.
"See me after class miss Remington." She says more softly making me scared that she will figure everything out. But not scared for my own safety , scared for hers.
As the end of class nears I begin to get more anxious. If she tries to help she will just make it worse , not like it can get any worse. I need to think of a good excuse.
As the bell goes off it knocks me out of my trance and makes me really wish I killed myself but I won't , I can't there is somebody I need , somebody that needs me. It might seem funny to believe this, but what's the point of living if there isn't somebody made specifically for you?
"Miss Remi are you there?" She says making my heart jump for the conversation that is to come.
"Yeah sorry just ... Zoned out for a little." I say only half lying praying she won't question me anymore about my bruises.
"I am sorry for calling you out during class , but will you please tell me who is giving you those bruises." My heart starts racing hoping she will believe what I say next.
"Nobody , I'm just very clumsy." I say lying straight through my teeth.
"Let me tell you a story, when I was little my parents would abuse me. It went on for years , it started at just saying rude things then it progressed to yelling and finally it got to abusing. Then one night they told me that they sold me and for me to pack my bags because I would be leaving later . I did what they said and packed my bags but I didn't wait until the next day , I left that night when they were asleep. I ran to the police station and told them everything. They helped me through it and I am still to this day so grateful that I decided to tell somebody." After she says her story she is on the verge of tears.
"Mrs.Clare I'm very sorry about what happened when you were younger but that is not happening to me I'm just clumsy , now may I please leave?"I say hoping she will let me leave. She takes a deep breath and looks like she is having a debate with herself.
"You may leave but please Remington if your father is hurting you tell me , telling someone can go a long way."
"I can assure you Mrs. Clare that nobody is hurting me but thank you for worrying." I walk - more like run out of class . Since it is my last class of the day , I have to go to work. Mrs. Clare talking to me is making me miss the bus , have to walk , and be 20 minutes late. Which means I will be 30 minutes late for work since once I get there I have to change.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Baby girl why the fuck do you have ANOTHER bruise! Do I need to beat that piece of shit father of yours?" My gay co-worker who just wouldn't give up on being my friend asks. I know that it puts me in the column of hypocrisy but he is my best friend and I love him. I just hope I don't hurt him by bringing him into this.
"Ryan relax okay , deep breath in ..... and out, now what table to I have to wait on?"
"Table 5" He says and I nod my head and head to table .
"Hi I'm Remington but you can call me Remi I will be your waiter , Can I take your order?" I say putting on my best fake smile trying not to look scared because of their powerful aurora.
"I would like a strawberry cupcake , love." The pale skinned one with dark black hair and bright vibrant blue eyes says.
"Okay ,cupcake!" I say amused that such a what seems like man-ly person would like such a girly cupcake.
"Oh and love, what happened to your face?" He asks voice laced with ...concern?
"Nothing I just ran into a ... BUS! ... Sorry I meant a train!" That's worse. "I uhh fell into a bush?" Yeah that's good but it doesn't look good enough because him and his friends don't look like they believe it. Why couldn't god bless me with lying skills?
"I gotta go get your cupcake!" I say trying to change the topic.
" First off you didn't take anyone else's order" Cupcake says with a... smirk? I think?
"Right sorry, what would you guys like to eat?" I say hurriedly so I can leave this table causing cupcake to smirk even more.
" You didn't let me finish, and second, I know you are lying. So why don't you just tell me the truth before I make you." After he says that I get scared of what he might do so I start to feel dizzy and I don't faint , i think , I'm still awake but I start fall and my eyes won't open.
And do you want to know what happened?
CUPCAKE FUCKING CAUGHT ME!
"Shit love , you must have passed out from all of these bruises!" He says pulling up my shirt a little to reveal even more.
"Can I somebody get the fucking manager." He says sounding a little... Angry ? But at who? Me? The situation ? The bruises? Me lying ? Not getting his food?
"I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH NOW SWEETHEART , FATHERS DO NOT FUCKING BEAT UP THEIR OWN FUCKING CHILDREN! " I hear Ryan scream.
"Ahhh so that's who did this to you." I hear cupcake mumble. I can finally move so I start to sit up and open my eyes .
"Baby girl are you alright? I already told boss that I am leaving , grabbing your shit from the hell hole , and you are coming to live with me and Drake." Ryan says without even asking what I have to say I get up and pull him aside so nobody else can hear.
" Ry you know I can't , I really wish I could but he is fucking gang leader to the second biggest gang in the country. He would kill you and Drake and I can't let that happen I love you and if you got hurt I don't know what I would do. My mom already died because of me and I won't let you die too." I say almost crying.
" You can't stay there!" He says with determination evident in his voice.
" I'm 18 next week I'll move to Italy to be with my mom's family I have been talking to them for a while , you know that."
"I know go home boss said you can leave early and get paid for a full shift" I hug him bye and start walking home
Little did I know that cupcake heard all of our conversation and that he had a grudge on us. Or the rest of us atleast.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Ahhh the little whore decided to come home." Dammit the devils home.
"I don't see Nadia here did she just come in the back door?" I ask voice full of wonder.
" You fucking bitch don't talk about your mother like that!" He says throwing his beer bottle at me , which I duck , then walking towards me.
" She is not nor ever will be my mother , my mother is the person YOU killed when she tried to have a better life."
" You disrespectful, ungrateful bitch , I'm gonna fucking kill you!" Dammit I woke the fucking beast... I'm gonna die,
SEE YOU SOON MA!
I wait for the hit but it never comes. I open my eyes to see cupcake and all of his friends in Richard's house. One of his friends must have tackled Richard and given him something to make him pass out.
" What are you doing here." I ask wondering why the fuck a random stranger saved me.
" Why sweetheart I'm hear to kill your gang." he says with a smirk making me shake with fear.
" Pl-please don't kill me I-I-I didn't have anything to do with the gang I hate them I wanted to leave forever just I never could because I was to scared because he killed my mom when she tried to take me to Italy with her to get away from him an-" I am cut off my ranting by a groan coming from cupcake.
" Please love shut the fuck up I'm not going to hurt you." Cupcake says with sincerity? No that can't be right. He has to be lying . Why would somebody want me.
" Tyler take Remi to our home, I have some business to go over with Richard." Cupcake says while looking down at the sleeping man.
" Come on bear." Tyler says while trying not to laugh.
"Bear?" I ask voice full of wonder.
" You know like Remington the bear." Tyler says starting to laugh so loud.
"Tyler shut the fuck up!" Blonde hair blue eyed dude says.
" Fuck you Cole that was fucking hilarious" Tyler says while glaring at who I now know as Cole. Despite my situation, I almost start laughing at how ridiculous they are acting.
"And it fucking Paddington the bear not Remington" Cole said while smirking .
" No it's not"
"Yes it is"
"No it's not "
"Yes it is "
"No it's not"
"Yes it- "
" Come on Rem I'm sorry for how dumb and dumber are acting I'm Drew" three people down two to go.
"Let's go drew we are gonna get kill if they keep acting this was" the last mystery guy (other than cupcake) says.
"Always got a stick up yours as don't you Carter" Tyler asks I close my eyes already knowing that he is gonna get punched.
And Guess what,
He does.
I FINALLY GOT HIS NAME!
"Let's just fucking go fucking dumbasses" Carter says while groaning even though Carter is the most tattooed and seems like rudest he seems like the youngest. Probably only 20 or so.
We finally walk out into the car and all I can think about is what is going to happen to me. Am I gonna die ? Will I be a slave ? Or even worse a sex slave?Will I be abused even more? If they do kill me I hope it's quick and not painful maybe a bullet between the eyes