worlds change
when eyes
meet.
d.j.
***
I'm gritting my teeth as a new form of frustration rises in me.
Irritation from lack of food, and good sleep is seeping into me.
Two days in and still no wolves.
I had no food.
A rabbit had crossed my path early in the morning, scarring both me and itself as it raced across my feet.
I had stared silently after it, debating if I could shift and catch it.
But then I felt another weight settle in my stomach as I thought of all the steps that needed to be completed for the simple process of just consuming it.
Skinning, starting a fire, cooking.
All things that I didn't know.
I look up at the sky, holding my hand above to shadow my eyes from the dull light.
The day would soon be over.
A heaviness settles in my mind as my thoughts go back to that office.
Was it wrong to take such a deal? Did it matter how I got to the top, so long as I was there?
The image of my father's face flashes in me.
It's clouded over by Vincent's.
And a sick feeling rises in my stomach that I had even entertained the idea for one second.
But I had to be Alpha.
What would my mate think?
I feel my hand rise automatically to my hair.
But I quickly push such thoughts aside.
I had retraced my steps again and again to make sure dad was not trailing me.
If it was not him, then one of his men.
The only scents I had uncovered though, were those of different animals and their faint traces.
The various plants and wildlife that managed to grow within the grey of the mountain.
And then I hear it.
A yap.
A yap of a wolf.
My whole body tenses as I stop in my tracks to take in the noise.
A long pent-up breath is exhaled from me as I softly walk forward.
I'm holding my breath.
Walking so silently.
Taking in the sound.
It was far off.
Still a distance away.
But I couldn't make any unnecessary movements.
And soon, I'm emerging from the trees to face a clearing of rocky surface.
And there they are.
The wolves.
My eyes widen and quickly dart to take in each one.
Twelve.
In total there were twelve.
They had stopped next to a small pool of water.
What looked like pups- though the wolves themselves looked too old to be newborns- instead resembling close to that of teenagers- had caused the small yapping noise.
I'm not even thinking as I take a step forward.
It's not until I hear the snap of the branch under my foot, that I realize my mistake.
Their heads look up, alert suddenly to the noise.
Ears are back- bodies going low to the ground- taking in the threat before them.
I feel my own body go tense as I hang just on the balance of shifting.
But to my surprise, they don't attack.
Instead, they run.
Away, into the woods.
I stare in disbelief as they quickly dart back into the tree's coverage, disappearing.
All but one.
Only one wolf remains.
I look down at it, and feel-
My mind collapses on itself as I take in the shaggy tan wolf- ebony fur lining it's back.
We stare at one another.
It takes a hesitant step forward.
And I find, just like I had a second ago, that I am also taking a step forward to get closer.
Trying so hard to compose my mind as I take in the unbelievable sight that I had been thinking of just moments ago.
And then I'm whispering that fatal word, that I had always dreaded to say, "m-mate?"
The wolf takes a step back, suddenly just as weary as me.
"Shift," power and sense quickly come back to me.
I inch closer, "shift. Now."
The wolf shakes his head- the only indicator that he is different.
That he didn't belong to the pack he had been with just minutes ago.
I dart forward, but he moves away.
"Shift."
I order the word again, my movements frantic now as I reach for him.
He dodges my arms, nimbly running the other way.
We stand apart from each other, several feet separating us.
"Why won't you shift?"
I'm shouting the words now.
I couldn't have a mate.
Not now.
Not when I was just starting my training.
Not when I was this close.
And suddenly I can't breathe as my world goes up in flames.
My hands curl into fists as angry tears come to my eyes.
"Damn it." I sniff, trying to control my emotions that always seemed to get the better of me, "just shift."
The wolf is frozen in place, his eyes watchful as he takes me in.
He slowly starts walking backward, in the direction of the trees that the other wolves had run in.
"Are you an Alpha?"
I cry my desperate question in the air. I needed to know the answer.
The wolf looks wildly around, fear clear in his frame.
"Well? Are you?"
I'm advancing closer to him, taking in his ears that are down- but not out of the danger.
Out of fear.
His body seemed to be caving in on himself- shoulders hunching forward slowly- his tail tucked under and head bent down to stare up at me.
I pause to take in the sight.
"No... you're not an Alpha."
The wolf doesn't flinch from the words. Neither an insult or a compliment to him.
He continues to back away, eyes wearily darting around me.
I look around also, trying and failing to see what he was watching for.
But there was only us.
"Don't go," I raise my hand, suddenly feeling a panic in me.
The wolf stops.
I press my hand to my chest.
I didn't know how.
Something about his scent.
Something about his grey eyes.
There was something that had clicked within me and whispered, it's him.
He doesn't stay still for long.
He's on the move again, slowly backing away from me.
But he stops at the edge of the forest, a look of conflict within his eyes as his head darts to the trees, and then back to me.
And suddenly he yips.
A small barking sound that has me leaning my head in confusion.
He yaps again, a low whine leaving him.
His head jerks to the trees again, and his actions in a rush of thought, make sense.
I stare at him silently.
We both are silent.
Until I sigh.
"For fuck's sake."
I take my jacket off, shuddering against the cold.
The wolf turns, putting his back to me.
Relief sags into me as I take in the action. The action to avoid looking.
Good, I think, now he wouldn't see that and question why it was there.
I didn't feel like answering that question. I could handle anything but that question.
He stays that way while I completely undress- turning to stuff my clothes and shoes in a corner of two rocks that are wedged together. I wouldn't need them.
I fall to my knees, my hands hitting the sharp rocks as my whole body shudders.
The crack of bones and realigning of joints only lasts for a second, before I'm shaking out my fur.
The wolf still has his back to me.
I walk forward, feeling a strange sensation in my chest as the heightened sense of his smell suddenly hits me.
Not an Alpha.
He glances at me, grey eyes watchful. I take in where they go- how they travel down my matted back. A flicker of confusion shows in them before he rises from his hind legs, and races into the forest.
My ears twitch and paws shuffle across the rocky ground. Last chance. This was my last chance to turn around.
A choice.
What would I choose?
Not an Alpha.
The thought rings within my mind.
Before I run after him.
Did I just pull the cliche meeting of "m-m-mate?" YES. and do I regret it? HELL TO THE NO.
*twirls*