Jessie
To say I was confused, anxious, nervous and even a little taken aback was an understatement. I was hysterical and not in a good way. I was pacing back and forth in my room all night, thinking. I couldn't bring myself to believe Nathan Evans, aka my childhood friend, asked me out. And not just for one date, or two dates, or three or four... But he asked me to be his girlfriend. I decided to distract myself a bit so I was reading Jane Eyre, but my attempt of forgetting about Nathan failed. Sometimes I cried because I thought it's totally unbelievable. Sometimes I blushed and smiled to myself while reading Jane Eyre. I couldn't help but compare Nathan to Mr. Rochester, and I couldn't help but imagine what it would feel like to have a guy like Nathan as my boyfriend. My very first and real (not imaginary) boyfriend.
Nathan is a guy any girl would want to be with. He's kind hearted, smart, hardworking, truthful, courageous, ambitious, compassionate, considerate, frank and empathetic. And he's handsome. He has a little bit of problem when it comes to showing his feelings and romance. It's alright I'll teach him gradually, I told myself. I mean people don't just go and tell their crushes or the love of their life they love her, right? They should give hints, you know, or at least give a warning like; hey! I'm going to tell you something, you might faint from surprise. So, be warned. I smiled to myself and put my hands over my flushing face, it's definitely hot from the thought of having a romantic dinner with Nathan. Or maybe holding hands on the beach, going to watch The Notebook together while I rest my head on his shoulder, as he puts his arms around me in a protective manner and telling me how much he loves me.
Oh and I'll read him a romantic book, and show him how great love and romance is. I never thought Nathan would be able to love anyone. He almost always said he doesn't believe in love, and that love is nothing but just a mere illusion. I admit I was quite surprised to find out that Nathan was not only able to fall in love, but the person he has fallen for was me. I was mad at myself, for liking to date Nathan, but I couldn't help it. Oh god! Why am I thinking of being with him this much? When I haven't even agreed to it yet, or tell Rachel about it.
I was planning on telling my best friend. More like, asking Rachel for permission to date her brother. It's only wise to tell her. Speaking of Rachel there she was, walking to where I was sitting, with a huge smile on her face. Oh lord! I'm already regretting the decision of telling her. I swallowed the lump in my throat and reminded myself: that this is the right thing to do. To tell Rachel that her brother has asked me out is definitely the right thing to do.
"Hey, girl!" Rachel greeted me enthusiastically and sat down opposite of me very quickly. She raised her arm and waved at the waiter who nodded at Rachel and came our way.
"Hey," I mumbled, wishing that no matter what happened we would still be friends.
"God I'm starving!" Rachel exclaimed, as the waiter approached us and took our order.
"So? What's this urgent thing you want to talk about with me?" Rachel asked, as the waiter walked away.
"Umm..." I tried but no words come out, I didn't realize I was this nervous until then. But I had to say it. In order to not have any misunderstandings, in order to let Rachel know about her brother's feeling.
And in order to have Nathan as my boyfriend, without having any problems. My subconscious added.
I ignored her and took a deep breathe. It's either now or never, I thought.
"I... It's ...umm..." I tried again, but it seemed like I didn't know how to put the words in their right order.
"Jessie, you don't make sense you know, speak please, we don't have all day." Rachel said, digging into the plate of tortellini in front of her impatiently, as soon as the waiter brought our food.
"Umm... I have something to tell you..." I finally managed to say.
"Oh for the sweet lord's sake!" Rachel said, rolling her eyes, "Of course you have something to tell me, what are we here for then? Spill!"
"It's about Nathan," I blurted out and stared at my best friend's face for any reaction.
"What about him?" Rachel asked before she brought a spoon of mushroom soup to her mouth.
"Umm... He asked me to be his girlfriend." I mumbled and bit my lower lip from embarrassment.
Rachel choked on the soup she was about to drink, she was coughing for two or three minutes, tears were streaming down her face and her face was red as a tomato, making me feel worried to death. When she finally came back to herself, and was able to breathe again. She frowned and stopped eating any food in front of her.
"What?!" She asked.
"He asked me-" I started.
"I know Jessie, he asked you to his girlfriend. I heard you. But... what I mean is, really?" She said, her lips twitching a little. I couldn't figure out whether she wanted to smile or cry.
"Yeah, really." I mumbled, without looking at her.
"And what... did you tell him?" She asked. Her face blank from any emotion or expression.
"I told him I'll think about it." I admitted.
"Let me guess... You're here to ask for my permission?" She asked, her voice calm. But her face looking furious.
"Uh-huh." I replied.
"It's your personal life Jessie. It's up to you, you know," My best friend said, a small smile playing on her lips. "As for Nathan... looks like he has already made his decision. Because he doesn't umm... say anything he doesn't mean."
"Thanks." I mumbled and smiled at my friend.
"Don't be ridiculous, girl!" Rachel said as she beamed at me "I always got your back." I sighed from relief and decided not to worry about anything else. Except; I'll go home, make a list of the pros and cons of being with Nathan. And make my decision about him. I didn't want the poor guy to wait any longer. Hopefully I was about to give him good news for the New Year's Eve.