CAUTION : TRIGGER CHAPTER!
Kalani | Highway
I gave Adrian his money and now I was on the highway driving to Lucas's hotel.
I swear, it felt so nice to drive my car again and not hear the clicking noise my axel used to make.
Me: The pictures cute?
Lucas: They aigh'. You look ugly but yanno.
I laughed and playfully punched his shoulder.
Me: Shut up, I looked cute, I bet.
Lucas: How about you look?
Me: I'm driving.
Lucas: Awe, don't tell me you forgot what we used ta do.
He said it mockingly.
Me: Never that. You probably did though.
Lucas: Fa two years, yea I did.
I playfully rolled my eyes and snatched the pictures from his hand. He took the wheel while I looked through the pictures while occasionally looking at the road.
DO NOT DO THIS, it took months, nearly years before Lucas and I were able to perfect that without nearly killing us or somebody else.
The first picture was when Lucas and I were walking out of Starbucks and he was carrying my black Nike bag. You could clearly see that my mom made sure to get the fact that we were matching. I was sipping my Frappuccino and he was looking the other way
The second picture was when we just got to the beach. I was looking out at the water and he was looking at me. He had an unreadable expression on his face.
The third picture was when we were coming back from changing. We were looking at each other. Of course he had a smirk on his face but I was laughing. Like full blown out laughing.
The fourth picture I knew my mom took because she told us to "say cheese". I was in the middle of eating my sub, so my eyes were wide open like I was in shock but of course Lucas was ready for the picture as how he held up some sign on his right hand and he made sure to show his damn grills. Stupid ass grills.
The fifth picture was when Lucas had picked me up from behind when I was about to stick my foot in the water. We were both laughing.
I didn't even see my mom move to get that picture.
The sixth picture was when I tackled him into the water. How mom captured it, it looked like I was some kind of sea monster because I was so blurry, but you could still clearly see it was me.
The seventh picture was when we were coming back from the ocean to where my parents sat. I looked like a drowned raccoon and Lucas of course looked good as hell.
The eighth picture had to be my favorite and since my mother was driving, I knew my father had taken the picture. I was asleep on Lucas's lap. His left hand was in my hair as he basically massaged my scalp. His head was leaning on his fist but he was looking down with an expression that read "damn." but it said it in a good way.
I put my pictures in my glove compartment before I took the wheel back.
Me: Most of them are cute, except number five and six. In five I looked like a drowned raccoon and six like a blurry ass sea monster.
He laughed.
Lucas: But I looked good.
Me: Or whatever.
He snickered.
Lucas: I always look good. Admit it, baby girl.
Me: Shut up, fool. What's your favorite?
Lucas: Uh, four, five, six and eight.
I snickered. Of course his favorites would be ugly ones of me.
Me: Eight? Why?
Lucas: You looked peaceful and cute.
I tried to hide the smile that came on my face.
Me: Oh I did?
I switched lanes to get off the highway.
Lucas: Yea, you've always looked beautiful.
Me: Thank you.
It was quiet between us as I drove to his hotel, trying to think what to say to him.
I pulled up and cut the car off.
Me: Uh Lucas.
He looked over at me as he un-clicked his seatbelt.
Lucas: Wassup?
Me: We can't do this again.
Lucas: Do what?
Me: Hang out.
Lucas: Why not?
Me: You have a whole girlfriend and that continues to escape my mind each and every time I see you. It doesn't matter if I see Amber or not, that continues to escape my mind and that's not fair to her or me. These days hanging out with you were fun but we can't do this no more. We can't even text.
Lucas: Aigh. I und'astand.
Me: You do?
Lucas: Yea, otha wise I wouldn't have said dat. Are you sure, tho?
I wasn't sure. Infact I didn't want to do this.
Me: Um...yes.
It came out like a question, that's how much I was "sure".
Lucas: Are ya sure, cause it sound like you aint.
I groaned while laying my forehead against the steering wheel.
Me: No! I don't want to but I don't want to keep doing this to Amber.
Lucas: Aigh' so why don' you jus sleep on it, we can get lunch or sum and you tell me what you decided. How bout dat?
My mind said no but my heart and body was screaming at me " SAY YES BITCH!" So, I stupidly said yes.
Me: Okay, sure and you'll respect my decision?
Lucas: Don' I always?
I shrugged.
Me: Kind of.
He chuckled as he got out of the car.
Lucas: G'night.
Me: Nitey Nite.
I waited until he got inside of the hotel before I pulled off heading twenty-five minutes down to street to Trinity's place.
That was wrong. So wrong. I was supposed to say no and yet, I said yes. I am shaking my head internally right now.
The quiet drive with PnB Rock playing ended when I pulled into her driveway.
Yes, she lives in an apartment but she has a driveway. Her apartments are like houses--not connected. It's cute though, so.
I locked my door and went up to hers. I got ready to know but decided I would pull a Trinity and walk in, being loud.
I stopped in my tracks when I noticed every light was off; which was not Trinity. If she's not home, she always has the kitchen light on. When she's home, nearly every light is on.
She's kind of scared of the dark. I quietly set my keys down and searched for the gun that she kept under the counter but found out it wasn't there.
I heard a thump down the hall.
Trinity lived in a one-story, two bedroom, two bathroom apartment. It was extremely cute.
I've watched enough scary movies to know that you should never go towards the noise you heard in the extremely dark house that's only source of light was the damn moon, but when it's your best friend's place, it's different. You're going to go towards the noise because you love her.
I grabbed one of her butcher knives, the sharpest one, of course and began to slowly head down the hall.
It felt as if my heart was going to burst out of my chest any minute because of how hard it was beating. I was kind of scared but with your father being an Army Vet, you learn not to be scared of things and when Lucas was once your best friend and boyfriend, you seem some shit that makes you less scared of everything.
I heard another thump but this time I heard it clearly inside of her bedroom. I took in a shaky breath and sent a quick prayer to God before opening her bedroom door slowly. I could see a figure sitting on the floor in the corner. I cut on the light and my heart broke.
Sitting on the floor, there sat my best friend of nearly three years with her pistol in her hand with mascara filled tears running down her face.
Me: Trin, what're you doing, baby?
She sniffled and looked up at me before back to the gun.
Trinity: Contemplating whether I should kill myself or not.
Me: Uh how about not.
I slowly went up to her.
I know Trinity, she wouldn't shoot me but she had a gun in her hands, with tears down her face, who knows what could happen.
Trinity: Why not?
Me: Because I would miss you.
Trinity: No you wouldn't. You're not even my best friend like you claim!
I stopped in my tracks as she pointed the gun at me.
Me: Baby, put the gun down.
Trinity: WHY SHOULD I!?
I got down to my knees and threw the knife near her bed.
Me: Look at me, Trin.
She avoided my eyes but kept the gun on me.
Trinity: Nobody loves me. So stupid. So stupid.
She began to hit her head on the wall behind her.
Me: Trin, stop it. Please.
Trinity looked at me.
Trinity: Do you love me?
Me: Yes! I love you like crazy, Trinity. You know this!
Trinity: No you don't!
She cried harder.
Me: Remember last year when your parents didn't get you anything for Christmas because they said you didn't deserve anything? So, what did I do?
Trinity: No. N-
Me: I went and got you everything you wanted. You remember that? You got the iPhone 8. You got that pretty Bluetooth speaker you've always wanted.
Trinity had BPD or aka; Borderline Personality Disorder. It only affected her when she was hurt, angry or sad. Exhibit A, what is currently happening.
Trinity needs to be on medication but she won't go see a psychiatrist because she doesn't want them to judge her because she's "crazy". I've tried to get her to go see one, but it just wasn't happening. Her disorder rarely affects her, but when it does, I'm always right there by her side.
Trinity: So. No, that-
Me: And what about when that girl called you ugly and fat? What did I do?
She stopped talking and looked at me. Her eyes held an entire book, it was so sad.
Me: C'mon baby. What did I do?
Trinity: You beat her ass?
I nodded.
Me: Yeah I did. Just for you, I got arrested and nearly charged with assault.
She gave me a small smile before handing me the gun as it pointed down at the ground. I took it from her and quickly unloaded it; taking out the full clip and the bullet inside of the chamber already.
I looked at my best friend and pulled her into a hug, letting her cry in my chest as I rubbed her back.
Me: It's okay, baby. I'm right here.
After about ten minutes, she was done crying and we were just sitting in the floor. She pulled back and wiped her face.
Trinity: I'm sorry.
I pulled back from the hug and grabbed her cheeks in the palm of my hands.
Me: Don't you ever apologize for something like that, okay?
She nodded.
Me: And I will be taking your gun until further notice, okay?
Yeah, Trinity shouldn't have a gun but she does. It's not registered and I don't know how she got it. I do know that last year she got robbed and felt unsafe, so she got a gun off the streets.
She nodded.
Trinity: Okay.
Me: No what happened?
I removed my hands from her makeup stained cheeks.
Trinity: Bali.
She looked down at her sweatpants.
Me: Bali? What did she do?
Trinity: She said that I was getting a little bigger and that I had issues.
Excuse me?
Me: Hell no, c'mon. Get up.
Trinity: Where are we going?
Me: To beat her ass. She should never say you got bigger cause you didn't. You've gotten thicker and you still look fucking amazing and for secondly, you have a fucking disorder! Saying the wrong thing can make you- ugh!
I wanted to smack the hell out of Bali.
Me: She does know about your BPD, right?
She looked down.
Me: She doesn't?
Trinity: I haven't gotten around to tell her.
Me: Okay then. Change of plans. Come my dear.
We stood up.
Trinity: Where are we going?
Me: To Bali's. You are going to tell her about your disorder. You can't hide this from her.
Trinity: What if she thinks different of me?
Me: She won't if she really cares about you. If she loves you like I do, that shouldn't even matter to her.
Trinity: It doesn't matter to you?
Me: No because you're my best friend. As long as you don't harm yourself or anyone else, I don't care.
She gave me a smile.
Trinity: I love you.
Me: I love your sappy ass too, now let's go.
- - -
Chapter 17.
I found new music guys! I downloaded six songs, today.