'It's a prototype combat engineers' vehicle built for the U.S. Army,' Dr Zhang told us, 'but the company lost the contract and abandoned the project. They ripped out all the top secret computers but I had new ones installed. So now, I am the proud owner of the only Terramax in existence.'
'Ah-um, you gotta see the inside. I had it fitted out like a mobile home. Climb up and take a look.'
We climbed in through the front hatch. 'The engine, batteries and hydraulics take up a lot of space,' he said, 'but there are four seats at the front, bunks on the sides and the kitchen, toilet and shower are at the back.'
We climbed aboard and Dr Zhang slid into a seat in front of a control console that looked like it belonged on the space station. It didn't even have a steering wheel. Miguel and I sat in the middle as Licia claimed the window seat. I noticed two computer monitors and a panel of controls including a toggle lever in front of each seat.
'It has seven on board computers to control the six independent wheel drives, four wheel steering and climbing hydraulics. Ah-um, the drive is automatic with limited slip, differential gearing,' Dr Zhang bragged, 'with a hybrid diesel-electric generator. It is equipped with radar collision avoidance for autonomous use. And, ah-um, in case you were wondering, the Terramax can be controlled from any seat position using the drive controls in front of you.'
'Buckle up. I'll give you a short demo.'
I had sudden fear that somewhere else might be safer but I was already strapped in by the automatic seat belts and I would have to climb over Licia to get out.
'Watch this! It's really cool,' Dr Zhang said as he pressed a button.
We got a demonstration of the air conditioning, windshield wipers, the head lights, turn indicators and the emergency flashers. We were not sure which was which because Licia, Miguel and I were watching from a horizontal position. The first button had caused all our seat backs to fully recline.
'Ah-um, what are you all doing down there? Oops. Sorry. Power seats!' He pushed another button and his seat promptly tilted so far back he couldn't reach the console. Miguel had to reach over and push the button with his footwhich returned him to a vertical position. 'Ah-um, thank you Miguel. Heh, heh. I guess I need a little more practice. When all else fails, read the operating manual.'
It took three tries before he got his own seat into a comfortable position and then he experimented with the controls while we undulated up, down and from left to right, alternating between upright and fully reclined. I was feeling slightly queasy when we were finally all sitting comfortably.
Dr Zhang turned to us with a triumphant grin. 'And now,' he said with the air of a conjurer about to remove a rabbit from his hat, 'we are ready to roll. That is . . . ah-um, as soon as I have read page nineteen of the manual.'
The vehicle rocked as the diesel engine started. Dr Zhang engaged the automatic transmission, released the foot brake and the Terramax started rotating like a carousel.
'The hydraulic steering,' Dr Zhang quoted from the operating manual, 'permits an incredibly tight turning circle. The Terramax is able to turn about its own vertical axis . . . Ingenious, eh?'
He started reading again. 'Selecting CW or CCW causes the wheels to automatically align in a circle. Releasing the brake allows all wheels to rotate in the same direction, clockwise or counter-clockwise.'
We were edging slowly sideways across the parking lot as we rotated. 'Would you stop it spinning now,' Licia asked. 'I'm beginning to get dizzy.'
'As soon as I have read page 21,' Dr Zhang replied. 'I have to find out where the clutch is. Ah-um, it doesn't have a clutch. Here it is. To stop the motion, simply apply the brake and select drive, neutral or reverse.'
'Where're the barf bags?' Licia asked.
'The compartment in front of you,' Dr Zhang said as he moved the shift to NEUTRAL. We stopped rotating in front of a mountain of dirt-encrusted ice leftover from snow clearing.
'The front wheels will automatically elevate when the sensors detect a steep obstacle,' Dr Zhang read. 'This permits the Terramax to surmount obstacles such as anti tank barriers.'
He waved a finger in a circle above his head. ' Yo! Let's roll.'
The front wheels extended as they rose above the level of the cab and we lurched up the steep incline, rocked over the mound of ice and slid back down into the street. 'Yahoo!' Dr Zhang exulted. 'Now, ah-um, let's see what it will do on the highway.'
He twisted the control column and gunned the engine. We dodged between the melting, but still substantial, piles of snow that filled half of Sumac Street. There was not much traffic at first but then we turned onto a road where City crews were clearing snow, and got stuck behind a slow moving truck loaded with snow. Dr Zhang became increasingly impatient as we followed the truck along the Rideau river road. He finally pulled out to overtake but, unfortunately, he had selected a low gear range intended for towing not speed. The big electric engine was screaming at full speed as we very slowly overtook the truck.
I watched with growing dread as we approach a concrete barrier intended to keep traffic from falling into the river. As we pulled slowing alongside the truck's cab, Licia looked out of the window. The driver's face was only centimetres from hers. It was dead white and the bulging eyes signalled impending doom.
The truck driver turned his terrified face to the front and threw up his arms. I turned to look where he was pointing. An even bigger truck was coming straight toward us. I yanked my seat belt tighter and pulled my knees up to my chin, hoping we had air bags.
Dr Zhang swung hard left toward the barrier and, just before I closed my eyes, I saw the front wheel lifting off the road.
We pitched over the barrier and, when I opened my eyes again, we were heading down the river bank at high speed, sideway. Dr Zhang was wrestling frantically with the controls as we skidded toward the river ice which was probably too thin to support the weight of the Terramax.
Gradually, the big knobby wheels got a grip in the soft, melting snow and we climbed back up the bank and back over the barrier. A tiny car swerved around us as we crossed back into our lane and I started breathing again.
I looked in the wing mirror. Behind us both trucks were stopped and the drivers were leaning out of their cabs waving their fists at us.
'Well, I must say,' Dr Zhang said indignantly, 'some drivers should learn the rules of the road!'
'What rules?' I whispered.
'Ah-um, well that was interesting. These fly-by-wire controls provide impressive handling, eh?'
Licia lifted her face out of her barf bag. 'I was thinking of another adjective.'
'Now, where are we?' Dr Zhang asked. 'Ah-um, rhetorical question. We are not lost! We've got satellite navigation.'
A small screen on the console lit up with a map. 'I programmed it to take us back to Silverwood School,' he said.
We watched, fascinated, as a tiny dot of light, representing us, traced a path through the streets while a staccato voice kept up a running commentary, 'Turn, left, at second, traffic light . . . Next left onto Hoomalu Street . . . Stop for flashing red light.'
'Dr Zhang,' Miguel pointed out, 'the satellite navigation is not showing Ottawa. It says we are in O'ahu . . . Hawaii. '
'Whoops . . . Ah-um. I'll just reprogram it . . . There it is . . . Bank street.'
The ride back to Silverwood School was uneventful except we had to put up with a sermon from Dr Zhang about drivers who didn't know how to drive.
He dropped us off at Silverwood School and immediately took off for the meeting with the accountants.
'I think he got the name wrong,' Licia grumbled. 'It should be called a Terror-Max!'
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