Gabby.
"Mom, please?" my conjoined hands are held up in prayer, hoping to escape the house today.
"No."
She moves around the sun-filled living room with window cleaner in one hand and a cloth in the other, swinging her hips to Bon Jovi's greatest hits. A cloud of the chemical cleaner erupts from the nozzle when she sprays down the front door. It smells like an unbalanced mix of dish soap and ammonia, agitating my nostrils and making me sneeze into the crook of my elbow. My hands quickly return to their former state, needing a break from my grounding. It smells too clean in here. I need out.
"It's just a movie with Morgan, Cole, and Courtney. They weren't even the ones who got me into trouble this time!"
Her smile broadens before it finally gives way to a laugh—one I know still means she won't be allowing me out of this house. "No one got you into trouble, Gabby. You got you grounded."
That makes no sense. Had I played pool with anyone else in this damn town, I would be closer to having my freedom back by now. Because I played pool with Jackson Parker, my grounding was extended for another week. They can keep me in here for months, and I still won't regret saying yes to that game. The look on Jax's face when he realized I was going to crush him at that table was worth it. But now, I can't even go to Courtney's birthday party next weekend either.
Before she can move to the picture window, I dive between her and the couch that needs to be moved to get to it. "Please?"
"Gabs, I said..."
"No," I finish her sentence with a defeated exhale. "I heard you."
One side of her lips lift to offer me a supportive smile. It's not her that usually grounds me. It's my dad. My mom grew up in this town, and as much as she loves it, she knows it's sometimes suffocating. We've had this discussion before, and I get it. My dad is strict for a reason. Letting me off the hook wouldn't teach me anything. Mom just got away with a lot more when she was my age, clearly.
"You could help me clean?" she offers out the rag. "I'll let you choose the music."
As much fun as that sounds, I turn my heel with a groan and head for the stairs.
When I reach my bedroom at the top of the landing, I give the door a toss, allowing it to shut itself with the lighter of many slams it has had over the years. Although the small room is literally surrounded by walls of bookshelves packed to the brim, my laptop is waiting for me beneath the covers. From this, I can both read and attempt stalking Jax. Settling back into the bed, I flip the down comforter over my head to darken the surrounding space. The only right way to read Frankenstein is in the dark. I send a text off to the group chat, explaining that tonight's trip to town is a no go for me before finally settling in to begin my sulking. I'm only about halfway through the first paragraph when my door creaks open.
"Yes," I huff, knowing I'm about to be scolded and reprimanded by being forced to become a cleaning partner. "I slammed the door. I was demonstrating my teenage angst. I'm not getting out of this bed."
"Alright," Felix's voice comes as a surprise. "Guess that means more wings for Kane and me."
The laptop is pushed off of my stomach, and the covers are thrown. My brother is ready and waiting for me to leap out of the bed and into his arms. When I do, I am lifted off of my feet into a giant squeeze.
"I didn't know you were coming home!" I hug him just as tight before being placed back to the floor. Of course, he's sporting a University of Northern Iowa football sweatshirt with a purple panther on the front—I might have to steal that later. Unusual for him, he's allowed his blond curls to grow out with some scruff on his chin. I reach for it to pester him. "Did you come back to get a haircut?"
My hand is swatted away. "I finished the semester early. I need some home time. Kane and I are going into town for wings. He'll be here any minute to pick us up."
My eyes roll hard, and I cross my arms over my chest. "I'm grounded. Mom and Dad are holding me hostage, because I played pool with the town criminal. And Kane is the one who told on me."
"We have a town criminal?" his blond eyebrow cocks high. "That's exciting."
"Right?" I giggle. I knew he'd see this my way.
"What did he do?"
"No clue," I shrug.
"Did you win?"
"Duh?"
"Poor guy didn't stand a chance," Felix laughs approvingly. He taught me everything I know; so he should be pleased. "Anyway, come with us. I'll talk to mom."
"I already tried."
I follow Felix out of my bedroom and back down the stairs. He takes them two at a time like he always has and hops off the last one. With the living room streak-free, my mother has now moved her cleaning to the kitchen. She stands on the opposite side of the glass door that leads to our enormous backyard. The minute she sees me behind her eldest child, her facial expression gives away her acceptance of what Felix is about to ask of her. I keep my distance, waiting somewhat patiently as my brother slides open the door.
"Junior and I are going to town for lunch. Sydney isn't home. Can I take Gabby?"
Throwing Sydney in was a pleasant touch. It doesn't stop mom from sighing as she continues spraying down the door. "I already told her no. She's grounded."
"She'll be with me and Junior. How much trouble could she possibly get into with us around?"
My mom laughs, placing the bottle of window cleaner on the wooden railing of the deck. Surprisingly, I watch her reach into the pocket of her shorts and withdraw a ten-dollar bill. "A lot," she answers. "Tim and I were always in trouble together. I sent you to town for mop pads. Got it? Don't come back without them."
Both of us frantically bob our heads to agree and thank her multiple times. We can bring home whatever she needs, if it means I can leave the house today. I don't even mind that I'm missing the movie with my friends. Hanging out with Kane and Felix is more than I had ten minutes ago, and I'm not complaining. Besides, Kane and I need to have some words about his big mouth.
Before either of us have our shoes back on, a honk erupts from the front yard, alerting us that our ride is here. I'm practically stumbling out the front door, pulling the high-top over my heel and reaching for my brother to steady myself. Once it's on, I release Felix for him to jog towards Kane's black Wrangler. One look in that direction has me stopped on the last step of our front porch. Two people are already in the Jeep, and I know exactly who that other head belongs to.
"I'm not going." I turn back to the house.
"Gabs, what the hell?" Felix calls back to me. "Where are you going?"
"Nowhere with Tyler Porter."
I'd rather be imprisoned than have to sit in that vehicle beside him an hour to and back from town, plus eat with him. I can barely escape him at school, and I definitely don't need to be around him when Kane is near. The thought makes my stomach curdle.
"I don't bite, Gabby." Tyler hangs both arms out the back of the Jeep with a cocky smile.
"It's just Tyler. What's the problem?" Felix takes hold of my upper arm before I'm back inside of the house and pulls me back outside.
Tyler is the problem. Ignoring the moron in the backseat, and my brother's hard gaze upon me, I look to the other occupant of the vehicle. Kane's window is down, wrist resting on the steering wheel, and his eyes are on me. His palm lifts as if to ask what the holdup is. Even when I'm pissed at him, I'm stupidly crushing on him and am dying to be in the passenger seat. Why did he have to bring his stupid brother?
"Come on," Felix pulls at my arm again. "Mom let you out. Don't waste it."
I'm sulking as I'm dragged back. Tyler opens the door to the backseat, and even this makes me hesitate to join him. Thankfully, Felix moves to the backseat door. This leaves me with a spot beside Kane for the next hour.
"Move over," Felix pushes Tyler's shoulder. "I don't know what her issue is with you."
After a mental agreement with myself not to let on that anything has changed between Tyler and myself, I take the seat beside Kane. I should like this. I should enjoy a day out with Felix and our friends—a day spent with the guy I have a major crush on. We are barely to the welcome sign on the edge of town when I've decided that it was a mistake. My arms cross at my chest, refusing to even look at Kane, because now that I'm here, I'm recalling just how pissed I am at him for telling on me. I'm not even sure what I'm more upset about—him getting me grounded again or him making things harder on Jax with my dad without even knowing him.
Then again, I barely know Jax.
"What's your issue, Gabs?" Kane breaks the silence, fed up with my sulking. "Is this about your tattooed buddy?"
"First off, it was none of your business. Second, I was fine! I told you I was!"
"Who are we talking about?" Tyler questions.
My mouth opens, but Kane is the first to answer. "Gabby here made friends with Luxberg's most wanted. She's being all angsty because I told Dan. And by made friends, I mean she was allowing him to practically dry-hump her into the bar."
"Kane!" my eyes widen. "That is not what happened! He's my friend's brother. He was joking, and all we did was play pool while we waited for food! Get over it?"
"Whose brother?"
Tyler's question comes with a hint of disgust—leaving me infuriated with the belief he gets an opinion on this. Just because I made a mistake with him, doesn't mean he gets the right to judge me for liking someone else. Thankfully, Felix is keeping his opinions out of the equation. He knows better than to pick a side.
"Courtney's! It isn't as bad as Kane is making it sound."
"He had himself pushed against your ass!"
"Huh," Tyler shrugs and gazes off to one of the few areas of exposed lake as the car passes. "Guess I thought I was the only one pushing it to you."
The car goes silent. An unease twists at my stomach, feeling like Tyler just reached in and yanked it as hard as he could. My first instinct is not to look into the backseat at the moron I slept with, but to his brother, certain that all the blood that just drained from my face entered Kane's. There's a brief moment of eye contact, but he ends it just as fast as it started.
"If you're insinuating that you had sex with my little sister," Felix grits his teeth, using a tone I've never heard out of him. "You're fucking lucky your brother is in this car."
Felix always worried the sibling rule would be broken. He just worried about the wrong Porter brother. Not that I need to discuss my sex life with my brother, but I have no problem assuring him it won't be happening again. Not in this lifetime.
So, now I have Tyler pissed at me about Jax—someone I haven't so much as kissed. I have my brother pissed at Tyler and me both for breaking the unsaid rule, and I have my crush refusing to even look at me for sleeping with his brother. This is going to be the longest drive of my life. It's a good thing there's chicken wings at the end of this shit show.
***
Completely ignoring the talk of college football, I push my food around the plate using my fork. It's always the same conversations with these three, and it always revolves around the sport. Kane lives for talk of Felix's college team and Tyler's final high school season, even though they are done for the year. When that discussion fades, they move on to the glory days of Kane and Felix taking their team to state. It's an endless circle I've become accustomed to ignoring.
Any other day, my chicken wings smothered in ranch dressing would be enough to make their boring football talk worth it. Not today. Even though nothing is being said about it, the pit in my stomach that's preventing me from eating my food is telling me everyone is still thinking about what Tyler confessed in the car. Each time they end a discussion, I feel at least one pair of eyes land on me, and I'm not sure if they are judging, pitying, or angered with me. I can assure them I'm doing all three to myself tenfold.
Standing without warning, the Luxberg State Championship talk comes to an abrupt halt. All three guys peer up to me, gauging my next move. I mutter about going to the bathroom before folding my arms around myself and heading in that direction. I don't have to go; I just need a minute to breathe without an audience.
Avoiding the stalls of no use, I go directly for the sinks. I wash my hands, then splash the cold water to my face and take a few deep breaths into the palms of my hands. I've never been much of a crier, but damn, I feel like I could break down right here and now. The last time I let the tears fly free was homecoming weekend when it finally did click that Tyler and I had sex. I went almost the entire school year, keeping what happened that night a secret, and Tyler spilled it so easily. If I had just stayed home today like my mother had asked me to, this wouldn't have happened.
After calming myself as much as possible, I dry my face and give the paper towel a toss into the trash before opening the door leading back to the restaurant. It's not surprising when I find Kane waiting from the wall opposite the restroom.
"Tyler?" He harshly questions. "Seriously?"
Seriously.
Restaurant staff rush between Kane and me as we continue our stare-off. As much as I want to run back to the table where Felix and Tyler are still eating their lunch, I know Kane will not allow me out of this hallway until I explain Tyler's car confession. The problem is, I have no explanation for what we did. I don't even remember most of it.
"Tyler," he repeats, lifting his eyes to the ceiling and dropping his back into the wall behind him.
"It was so stupid." I admit. It's what I've been telling myself since it happened.
"Do you like him?"
"No," my head shakes. "I swear I don't."
"You slept with him."
I did. There's nothing I can say to Kane to convince him it meant nothing. I don't know where my head was that night, but I need to remind myself that something in me must have thought it would be a good idea. If I don't think that way, it makes this so much worse. Kane was the absolute last person I wanted to know about this, but I knew he would hear it, eventually.
"I thought," he trails off, leaving me waiting.
Another server passes us with someone's lunch on their tray. Kudos to them for being able to eat anything today. My stomach can't handle it. Once we are alone again, Kane finally meets my gaze once more.
"I thought you liked me back, and we were holding off because of your brother's stupid rule about dating siblings. Guess I read that wrong."
Knowing he felt the same makes this so much worse. "You didn't read it wrong. I made a mistake. It happened during the homecoming lake party, and I got drunk without meaning to. I made a lot of stupid decisions that night."
"The lake party?" he questions beneath his breath, peering off to the table containing our brothers. "Homecoming?"
"I shouldn't have been anywhere near it. I went to read at the dock and somehow ended up drinking. I don't remember most of it. I got blackout drunk. Dad hauled me off in the squad car."
"Dan knows?" he quickly turns back to me with widened eyes. "About that party?"
I nod. Knowing Tyler, he got the alcohol from the bar. It could have put Kane's alcohol license at risk. It could have put him at risk for providing alcohol to minors. Luckily for both Porter brothers, I was a moron that night. Officer Brooks was too busy covering for his dumbass daughter to bother with who supplied the liquor. Half the senior class owes me for that one. Everyone could flee because of me.
"Kane, I can't take it back. I'm lucky that I don't remember it. Unlucky for me, Tyler does. I don't like him like that."
"I just," he pinches the bridge of his nose with closed eyes. "I need time to comprehend it. You can go back to the table. I'll wait a few minutes so Felix doesn't know I followed you over here."
With Kane no longer even willing to look at me, I do as I'm told and leave him in the hallway of the restrooms. There's a lump in my throat growing by the second, and I nervously begin drawing back the rubber band on my wrist to snap it against my skin repeatedly. I'm greeted by a hostile silence between Tyler and Felix, and I know this is also a result of homecoming weekend. Whatever was said by Felix to Tyler during our absence from the table was enough that he too has stopped eating his food. He probably believes Felix is going to kill him. He might.
"You okay?" Felix nudges my arm, likely noticing how agitated my skin has become with just a few snaps.
He doesn't want the answer to that. I'm not okay. I barely had a chance with Kane to begin with because of him, and now I feel any chance I had has gone. Felix knows it too. I realize his intentions were good, but his rule is still frustrating as hell.
"Maybe I can get mom and dad to let some people over tonight. We could skip Syd's game? Movie night?"
Seeing Kane reappear to return to the table and his refusal to so much as look at me, I bob my head yes and snap the band again. "That would be good."
***
At times, Felix being the golden boy of town and of our family is frustrating. On nights like tonight, resentment of that goes right out the window. He can sway my mom and dad into just about anything—including my grounding being revoked for one night. It helps my mother loves when "all the kids are safe under one roof". Her kids include not only her biological children but also the Porters, Cole and Morgan. Now, Courtney has joined this rank too. Other than my dad locking his liquor cabinet before he and mom left for Sydney's game, he seemed okay with everyone coming over. Once again, money was left for pizza from the bar, which Kane quickly handed back to my mom, saying it was on him tonight.
While everyone tries to decide the seating arrangement and tonight's movie choice, I take it upon myself to ensure there is plenty of popcorn. I microwave a few bags before tossing it all into one bigger paper bag and grab a handful of plastic bowls so everyone can have their own. I'm sharing the kitchen with Kane, who silently places two large pizzas on the kitchen table with a stack of paper plates. I take the hint that a few hours weren't enough for him to comprehend this morning's announcement.
When I return to the living room, I find some new superhero movie on the screen and everyone in their choice of seat. Felix took dad's favorite recliner chair—his usual spot. Cole and Courtney took the floor, and the three-seat couch currently has Morgan on one end and Tyler on the other, leaving me the center cushion. I abruptly stop, sending Kane's chest directly into my back with an oof.
Maybe Morgan doesn't realize why I've stopped myself from sitting beside her, but Kane sure does. He moves past me, directly to his brother, where he lifts him by the shirt.
"No," he growls and uses his finger to direct Tyler to the floor.
"I had the seat first?"
"And I'm older." Kane takes Tyler's spot before his brother has the chance to sit again.
Morgan looks to the open spot beside her, to Kane, and then to me with a goofy smile that only best friends get when they know something no one else does. She knows how badly I always want to sit beside Kane. What she doesn't know is that any effort I make with him at this point is futile. It would be a lot more fun if he wasn't currently pissed at me.
Finally, Kane shows me the slightest bit of attention when he waits for me to take my place beside him. I hesitate slightly as I do, knowing my brother wouldn't be keen with either seating arrangement. He ignores it though, fighting with the remote while attempting to get our movie to start.
"Since when does Tyler have a thing for you?" Morgan questions, leaning in closer to whisper over my shoulder. "He keeps looking at you."
My mouth opens to deny it, but Kane reaching into the bag of popcorn on my lap prevents any words from coming out. "Probably since she slept with him."
"Kane!" my head pivots to glare at him, followed by a punch to his shoulder. "Shut up!"
"Um," Morgan drones behind me. "Say what now?"
I continue shaking my head at Kane, who offers nothing more than a sympathetic shrug. This is partially my own fault for not clarifying this afternoon that no one, including my best friend, knew about this. This was not supposed to be how she found out. Even Cole is gazing up from the floor, wide eyed and silently questioning my sanity. Which part was I supposed to brag about? The part where I don't remember, or becoming a vomiting, hysterical mess when I realized I'd slept with my crush's brother?
"You didn't know that?" Courtney questions from beside Cole.
My eyes fall shut, wishing I was anywhere but here right now. I can feel the tension from Morgan beside me, and I know that just solidified her being pissed. I could have gotten away with not telling her until today, but Courtney knowing before her is going to take a lot of explaining.
"Wow," her astonishment is met with a hint of anger. "I'm the last one to know?"
"I wasn't supposed to know," Courtney quickly clarifies. "She didn't tell me per se. I overheard Tyler and her talking at her locker."
With a heavy sigh, I finally bring myself to turn back to Morgan. Big brown eyes are waiting for an explanation. For the second time today, I'm drawing back a band on my wrist and letting it snap.
"Ouch," she whispers her hurt feelings.
"I wasn't going to tell anyone," I admit, not caring if Tyler hears it. Maybe he will finally take the hint I'm not interested in doing it again. "It was a mistake over homecoming weekend, and I wasn't ready to share it. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't tell me about your first time."
"Well, I..."
"Okay!" Felix cuts off Morgan with a clap before she can speak. "We aren't sharing any more stories of losing our virginity today. Got it?"
"You were a virgin?" Tyler questions from the floor.
Bile rises in my throat with my stomach twisting in unease. I can't even acknowledge him. Did we really not discuss anything before we did it? At no point did I tell him it was my first time and maybe we should go slow? I was that eager to jump on and take him for a ride? Every time I think this can't get worse, I'm proven wrong. And with Tyler's comment, even Morgan understands it's time to end this discussion. Felix confirms when he turns off the lamp beside him, allowing the room to fall darker except for our movie.
"He's an idiot." Kane whispers without looking away from the television. "Don't feel bad about it."
As nice as that is of him to say about his brother, it's not that easy. This entire day has been one disaster after another. I sink further into the couch with my popcorn, telling myself that I should be relieved everyone knows and hoping it will make me feel better. It doesn't. I just feel more stupid.
I'm perfectly still through most of our movie, worried that with any sudden movements the room will be reignited in the conversation of my lost virginity. When my popcorn bowl is empty, I only bend to place it near my feet, meeting Kane as he does the same.
"Look at the new girl," he whispers with his first smile of the day. "I think she has a thing for your brother, and Felix doesn't hate it."
Kane is absolutely correct. Neither blonde is interested in the movie and both are instead fixated on each other. Courtney tries to play it cool, biting at her nail and looking from the film to Felix. He doesn't look away until he realizes half the room has caught on. He looks from Courtney, to Kane, to me, before reaching Morgan at the end of the couch. Felix returns to the movie, setting his chin on a closed fist.
"Won't happen," I grin back. "That would go against his rule. She's my friend."
"Right," his eyes roll playfully. "That's why he's looking at her again. I bet he wouldn't even notice if my arm was around you right now."
I bite down on my lip to stop myself from smiling like an idiot. "Probably not."
Kane leans back into the couch, placing one arm along the back of my spot. With one quick glance back to my brother, seeing his attention is anywhere but Kane and myself, I lean myself back. My body molds into Kane's side where it's warm and firm. The arm above my shoulders wraps around me. This is not where I thought tonight would lead, and I am so okay with this.
"See," he whispers into my ear. "He's clueless. Think he'd notice if I kissed you?"
I turn, instantly mirroring the charming smile on Kane's lips—the ones that are gravitating closer to mine. The rule is stupid, and this horrible day is about to get so much better.
"I don't care if Felix sees."
"Me either," he agrees.
I can feel his breath on my bottom lip just before the doorbell chimes, sending Kane flocking to the opposite end of the couch. The interruption leaves me vacant of his arms and lips. Meanwhile, Felix turns the lamp back on, cascading us all in unwanted light.
I glare at Kane. He shrugs. So much for not caring if Felix sees us. Whatever.
With all of us here and everyone else in town either at a bar or tonight's baseball games, I have no clue who the person will be on the other side of the door, but I'm cursing their unknown name already. With the movie paused, Felix answers it.
"I'm just looking for my sister," a familiar, deep voice causes the hairs on my neck to stand.
The last time I heard Jax's voice, I was being whispered his sweet nothings. I turned down his offer; it doesn't mean I've stopped thinking about it. Especially when he's stepping into my living room—looking the way he does in jeans and a gray hoodie with sleeves rolled up to his elbows—after an invitation by my brother. Jax scans the room for who I can assume is his sister, but his deep green eyes home in on me. His devilish grin promises trouble. If my dad came home, he'd be in it deep. Jax did promise to break the rules with me, and he is coming through on that promise.
"Books," he nods once, making it known he's ignoring everyone else in the room.
"Jax."
Morgan is elbowing me in the ribs—best friend secret language for hot guy alert. Meanwhile, Kane's hand falls to my thigh. I can't help but feel like a tree a dog just pissed on to claim his territory. Was it not just a moment ago that he didn't want Felix seeing his arm around me? Now he feels necessary to show his dominance? Jax chuckles at the move beneath his breath, making the man at my side fume and tense even more.
"Court, time to go." Jax motions with his head to the blue Victorian across the road. "Dinner."
"I'm Felix," my brother reads the room of mixed emotions before offering his hand out to Jax. "Gabby's brother. You go to Northern Iowa? I'm full-ride for football."
My head instantly snaps back to Jax, realizing that Felix stumbled onto a clue that I completely missed when focusing on green eyes and tattooed sleeves. The sweatshirt Jax wore tonight is from the University of Northern Iowa—very similar to the one Felix was wearing this morning. How did I miss the purple panther stitched over his right pectoral?
"Jax," he takes Felix's hand and gives a firm shake. "And I did for a few years. Full-ride for wrestling."
My head is swimming with questions. Jax went to college? For what? When? I now have a major piece to the missing puzzle. I can add this to my searches and hopefully get more answers.
"No, Books," Jax answers my thoughts as Courtney stands to leave. "That's not where I got into trouble, but by all means, continue Googling it."
I cross my arms in frustration. Damn right I'm Googling it.
"He looks like a thug," Kane observes watching Courtney and Jax leave the house.
"No," Morgan disagrees. "Courtney's brother is damn fine."
The door is slammed closed by Felix. "You're both delusional. He can't even say our last name right. How hard is Brooks?"
Morgan ignores him and turns her body to face me. "Did you see those tattoos? I think I drooled."
Oh, I've seen them.
"Your dad is going to be pissed when he finds out that guy was in this house," Kane continues.
"Yeah, be sure to tell him about the super scary part where he walked his little sister home after dark." I push his hand off my thigh with an eye roll. Now I remember how today started, and why I remain grounded. "He gave you nothing to tattle over. Your dislike of him is unjustified."
"We don't know what he did to get sent to jail, Gabby," Kane clarifies. "Your dad set rules for a reason."
"Speaking of rules," I say loudly, peering over my shoulder at my brother and back to an immediately horrified Kane.
The threat of telling Felix we were on the brink of some major rule-breaking of our own is enough that Kane sinks back to the couch, dropping his head against his hand. "Play the damn movie."
I knew he wasn't ready to break that rule.