I don't know how I feel about training. I don't want to come close to the other tributes. I want to stay as far away from them as possible until the games; until i'm forced to be with them. But I know I need to train. To learn about what else can kill me, other than the tributes. The thing I most want to do, is learn how to hunt. My sister once took me into the woods with her, but I couldn't kill anything. When she would kill animals though, I would just cry. I would say things like, "What did they ever do to you?" and "Do we really need to eat meat?" Of course, we couldn't afford to be picky, so she killed them anyway. I wish i'd just sucked it up and learnt how to hunt with her. I need it now more than ever.
I watch the other tributes, waving around their swords, hurling axes, practising archery. One girl is throwing knives, with great accuracy. She never misses. I don't know how to do any of that, so I just concentrate on learning how to make traps. It gets easier each time I make one. By my 12th trap, I decide i've finally got the hang of it. Peeta's been over at the throwing section for about 4 hours now. He's very strong.
I turn round and catch a glimpse of a girls face. She quickly hides behind a wall. The girl from 11. I think her name is Rue. I walk over to the knife area and pick one up. I need to learn how to kill. I causiously stalk up to a dummy and hesitantly stab it with my knife. I instantly drop it. I can't do this. What am I doing here? This isn't me. I shouldn't be killing people. Why did this happen to me? Why?
I find myself running out of the training centre. I crouch down in a corner outside and sob. I can't stop the tears flowing from my face. I know that when i'm in the games, I won't be able to kill anyone. They will kill me first because I won't be able to bring myself to kill them. I know my fate. I know i'm going to die, and there's nothing I can do about it.
"Are you okay?" A voice asks.
I look up to find Rue. The small, dark skinned girl. I wipe my eyes and manage to speak:
"I'm fine. Really, I am." I reply, trying not to burst into tears again.
"I'm scared too." Rue says, a little shakily.
She sits down next to me. I so desperately don't want to make friends.
"I've seen you following me around." I say.
She looks at me, then at the floor, "I'm sorry."
We fall silent.
"Look," she sighs, "I want to be allies."
Oh no. I can't ally with her. If there was ever a chance we did survive together, then we would have to turn on each other. Also, if one of us dies, I don't know how the other one will cope by themselves.
"You know we can't do that, Rue."
"Why not? If we're gonna die, we might as well die together." She looks so hopeful.
"No, Rue. I can't. I'm sorry."
"Hey! You two! You need to come back in here." A woman stands in the doorway, glaring at Rue and I.
I quickly scramble to my feet and walk back into the training room; my head down.