Blake's P.O.V
Olivia.
She was all I could think about. I have just admitted to myself that I like her and here she is, invading my thoughts. This has never happened to me before. I have never truly liked someone, I usually pretended to be a so called "player". It is just easier that way; to put up a wall. Although, I have never actually been with anyone.
Loser! My sub-conscience taunts me. Thanks. I think back, but it was the truth. I was just too shy. Gosh, it is just so conflicting. Two parts of me, one fake and one real, constantly fighting each other. Which one will win? That is something I question myself about everyday.
Anyways, I have to think about how to approach Olivia tomorrow. We nearly kissed earlier and I really don't want it to be awkward between us. I mean, I like her. I really, really like her. I just need time to build some confidence.
We pull up to the house. I almost forgot that we need to talk to Frank about what happened last night. It was not right of Frank to talk about Cassie's parents, no matter what state he is in. Frank knows the truth about Cassie's past, he should be the most cautious around Cassie when it comes to the topic of her parents.
"Hi Blake! Hi Josh!" Cassie says. She is sitting on the steps that lead to the front door. She is also eating an ice cream cone.
"Hi Cassie." Josh and I say.
"Cassie, you know you are not suppose to have ice cream before dinner." I say. Cassie loves sweets, so this was no surprise.
"I know but I really, REALLY wanted one. Can I pleeeeaaasse eat it?!?" She says while giving us her best puppy dog eyes. She really knows how to do that well, and she knows it.
"Fine." Josh and I say at the same time.
"Just don't tell anyone" Josh adds with a wink.
"YES!" Cassie replies and jumps off the steps to play in the yard. I turn to Josh.
"Listen, I am going put my stuff away then we can talk to Frank."
"Cool." He says and we both step inside. Once in my room, I set my backpack by my desk and put on a sweater. It is only the beginning of school and it is already getting cool outside. I head toward Josh's room and then we both make our way to find Frank. He is in the kitchen cooking.
"Frank?" I say. He turns around quickly.
"Yeah." He says with a smile.
"We wanted to talk to you about what happened yesterday." His smile fades away as he remembers what happened yesterday.
"Uh, okay. Take a seat." He points to the coffee table by window.
"Listen Frank, we understand you miss your wife. We really do, but..." I start saying but then I am interrupted by Josh. He looks angry, great.
"You had no right speaking about Cassie's parents in front of her! She is just a kid!" Frank is taken aback from Josh's yelling, but hey, Josh was mad.
"Josh, you need to calm down." I whisper to him.
"No, no. Josh is right to be mad. I know I have been off lately. I am truly sorry. I will apologize to Cassie because, you are right, I shouldn't have spoken about her parents. And I am sorry that you had to take care of me and the children when I should be the one taking care of you all. I really am sorry, it's just been...difficult lately." Frank responds. Josh calms down a bit and Franks just looks so miserable. It is just so hard for him. Anyone with eyes could see it.
"Thank you. I am sorry for snapping at you." Josh says.
"It's okay Josh. I am trying my best to recover from this loss, but it has been a year and a half. I think it is time to stop being miserable, don't you think?" Josh and I simply nod. "Well then, I am going to finish preparing dinner." All three of us stand up. Josh leaves but I turn to say one last thing to Frank.
"I'm proud of you Frank." He nods and gives a sly smile. We both turn around and I make my way up to my room. I sit by my desk and take out my school iPad. The school isn't rich or anything. The community helped fund for them.
Homework, homework, and homework. Gosh, it is only the second day. Luckily, it is pretty easy to do, otherwise I'd be freaking out.
I am down to math and the project I am doing with Olivia. I think we are working on it during class so I don't need to worry about it. I still can't believe I told her my entire story, just like that. And she just...understood me.
But, I don't want to hurt her with my past.
Who are you kidding? You don't even know if she is into you! My sub-conscience commented. True. I thought back, but even if we became friends, I wouldn't want to hurt her. I would probably do anything to keep the glow in her eyes, the joy in her laugh. I mean, she is perfect.
"Dude! Your blushing and smirking. You, my friend, have got it bad." I am taken aback by Josh's voice. I didn't even know he was in the room! And he just saw me blushing and smiling while I was thinking of Olivia.
"What are you talking about?" I say trying to act confused.
"Don't act dumb around me. I saw you! You were thinking about her weren't you? Ahhh, what's her name? Oliana or something?" He asks. Really?!? Oliana? I mean cool name but that wasn't Olivia's.
"Her name is Olivia." I reply.
"Ahhh ha! You were thinking about her!"
"Wait, what?"
He looks at me all evilly. "Dude, I knew her name all along. She's in my science class...And, you haven't denied that you were thinking about her."
Crap! "Jerk." Is all I can say. Maybe it is time to give it up. I mean, after all, he is my best friend.
"Alright, alright. Maybe I like her. But I swear, if you tell her or anyone...."
"Blake, your secret is safe with me." He zips an invisible zipper over his mouth.
"Thank you." I say and let out a sigh. I didn't even realize I was holding it in.
"Plus, she's totally hot, just a bit too smart for me." He says with a wink. Okay, now he was just pushing me.
"Shut up, will you? Why did you come in my room in the first place?"
"Oh yeah! Dinner is ready. And I suggest that you eat so you will have enough energy tomorrow to talk to Olivia." He says with a chuckle.
"That's it!" I leap out of the chair and chase him down the hall way. We run down the stairs when we are meet with Frank.
"Guys, guys. Calm down. You can kill each other after dinner." Frank says.
"Oh, I can't kill Blake. He has to work on a project tomorrow." Josh starts to laugh. I slap him upside the head.
"Whoops, sorry." I say and chuckle. Josh just laughs harder and rubs the back of his head.
The smaller kids grab dinner first while Josh and I grab our food last. We all sit to eat; some in the kitchen, others in the living room. When everyone is done, I help Frank with the dishes and everyone goes to bed.
~|~|~|~|~|~
I wake up early to get ready. I put on a pair of jeans, a gray t-shirt, and a hoodie. I walk downstairs and into the kitchen. I am not surprised to see Josh already attacking a bowl of cereal.
"Hey Josh." I say.
"Morning lover boy." He says while smirking with a mouthful of cereal. He's probably never going to let this go.
"Yeah, yeah." I grab some cereal myself and sit down at the table by Josh. I take out my math homework since I didn't do it last night. By the time I finish my cereal, I'm on the last problem. I quickly finish it and set my bowl in the sink. Josh and I say goodbye to Frank who is reading in the living room and we head out.
During the car ride, Josh and I talk about how baseball tryouts are coming up soon. We also talk about how the football game is in two days. Finally, we arrive at school. I could really care less about any other class besides Real World Solutions. I really wanted to get to know Olivia better. Of course, with avoiding the awkwardness first. Not only that, but I want her to get to know me better. I want to be better for her.
Okay, now you're just being cheesy. My sub-conscience remarked, sometimes it talks to much. I ignored it though.
The day went pretty well. I don't have a lot of homework today which is great. If only the day would go faster so I could finally hang out with Olivia.
I sat by Josh at the lunch table. I usually listened to my friend's conversation but today I just couldn't focus. I kept thinking about me and Olivia in the hallway. Our laughs, my past, and our almost kiss.....
My thoughts were interrupted by a food tray being set onto the table. Then, someone took a seat across the table from me. When I look up, I see my friend, Jo.
Now, Jo is not a guy. She is my other friend that Josh and I met in middle school. She is pretty B.A. but can also be dependable. Her full name is actually Joana Matthews, but we call her Jo.
"Sup guys." She says
"Hey Jo. Where have you been these past two day?" Josh asks.
"I was out of town with the fam but I'm here now! What did I miss?"
"Nothing much. Blake over here is growing up. He has a crush." Josh replies. I feel my cheeks burn up and I hit Josh in the arm.
"WHAT?!? No way! Who?"
"Oh, I'm not telling you anything. Sorry Jo, bro code. Can't say a word." Josh says. He tells her that I like someone, but doesn't say who. He's gonna cause me to have a heart attack over here. I thought for sure he was going to tell Jo. Thank goodness he didn't. Jo then swiftly turns to me.
"Blaaake, you're not going to tell me who?" She asks me slowly.
"I, uhh, don't plan on saying who, sorry."
"Oh, come on guys. We've been friends since middle school. This isn't fair!" She takes another bite of her hamburger and continues.
"Pleeeeeaaasse!" She says while continuing to eat.
"Nope."
"Jerks." And on that note, the bell rings. After this class, I can finally see Olivia.
"Later Blake. Bye Jo-Jo." Josh calls out as he leaves. He knows she doesn't like that nickname; she just like Jo.
"Uggg." I hear her say behind me. I wave goodbye to both of them and head out of the cafeteria.
Just, like, an hour left. That's all there is. I think to myself. But the minutes, again, become centuries. Finally the bell rings. I am rushing to Real World Solutions class when I start to doubt myself.
Is this pain worth it? The anxiety? The wait? The self-consciousness? Is it worth it?
But once I see her, that all disappears.
Yes, it is worth it.