Grace
"I was thinking... maybe we could eat out tonight" Harry said during breakfast, making me look up at him. "We haven't done that in a while" he added when he saw my confused glance.
I took a sip of my coffee while pondering the idea, aware that that day would've been a busy one for me. But his eyes were so green and hopeful, that I knew I could've never said no, even if I had had the worst day possible. "At what time?" I asked him, enjoying the way his eyes lit up at my words.
"Would 7pm be fine?" He replied, and I smiled at the almost hesitant way he asked, as if he wasn't used to that kind of thing anymore.
I nodded. "That would be perfect." I took a bite out of one the chocolate cupcakes that I had bought that morning, easily falling back into my old habit. "I should... go to work today" I said, glancing up to see his reaction, if he would've shown any at all.
He pressed his lips together and his jawline became sharper, his hand letting go of the cup as if it had burnt him. He cleared his throat, looking at the coffee moving slightly inside his cup, the fall not being big enough to make it spill. "That's... nice" he said, trying to cover up his momentary loss of words.
"Yeah" I replied faintly, feeling a weight set on my chest at the simple thought of going back. "I've already skipped quite a few days."
"I'm sorry about that" he said softly, but I shook my head to show him that it wasn't a problem to me.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, I chose to." It was true. In the second I had stepped into the house that night, with a freezing Harry next to me, I had known I would've not went in for a while. And while I liked to tell myself that it was because I wanted to take care of him in the best way possible, I hadn't been able to suffocate that part of me that said it was also because of me. The thing was, I didn't want to go back. I didn't want to step into that place again, waiting tables day after day in front of the balcony pretending that nothing had happened, I simply couldn't. And before I had even realised it, two weeks became three and the three weeks became a month, and I had let too much time slip between my hands. In other words, I was lucky my boss was friendly enough.
"Alright" he said, letting the conversation drop mid-air.
Another thing that I wouldn't have told him anytime soon was that I had started to look around for a new job in the past few weeks, while I was going to meet Liam or buy groceries. Just casually, nothing too serious. I had tricked myself into believing that it wasn't that urgent, but as time went by I couldn't help but realise that I would've had to go back sooner or later, and that keeping to delay my return like that would've done nothing, if not raise my chances of being fired. And that was why I had called my boss that morning, telling him that I would've come back, hoping that I could've handled it.
"I'll come get you with my car when you're finished, if that's alright? I need to go out anyway, so it wouldn't be a bother" he suggested, making me freeze and look up at him.
"You don't have to" I replied, not wanting him to ever step back into the place he had tried to take his life in, playing nervously with the black hair tie around my wrist.
He looked down at my fingers, observing the way I tightened the hair tie around my wrist before stretching it a bit, being that caught up in my actions that he slightly flinched when he saw it snap back against the inside of my wrist. "I want to" he said looking up at me.
"Alright then" I replied giving up, "just know that you really don't have to. You can call me anytime and tell me you changed idea, I won't mind."
"I know" he replied with a small smile, before standing up to put our empty cups in the sink.
I got dressed as fast as I could and I searched for Harry before leaving the house. I found him sitting on the couch with his legs crossed and he looked up when he heard me walk into the room.
"I'm going" I said before leaning down to kiss his lips as a goodbye.
"Have a good day" he murmured as I was about to walk out of the room, and I turned around to smile at him.
"Bye" I whispered, to the point that I wasn't even sure he had heard me at all, before going out of the house.
As soon as I shut the door behind me, I leant against it sighing, preparing myself to go back to my workplace. I checked the time on my phone once again, to find out that it was 11am, and that I would've had to spend a total of six hours there. I pushed myself off the door and I walked down the stairs, too nervous to wait for the lift to come.
I took my time while walking, hesitating for a few seconds when I passed a library that I had grown to know. I almost went in to check if Niall was in there, as he probably was, but I reminded myself that it would've not ended well, and I didn't stop.
In the second I stepped out of the lift to the seventh floor, an overexcited Chloe came towards me.
"Grace! It's been so long, oh my. How are you? It's been so boring without you here! Mr I Got My Nuts In A Twist has been bothering me for days, you have no idea" she said, but I only half paid attention to her.
My eyes were focused on what was right in front of me, the door to the balcony. She noticed that I wasn't really listening what she was talking about so she turned her head as well to see what I was looking at.
"It's such a beautiful day today! You should go out on the balcony to have a look! The sun rarely comes out in this time of the year" she said, but I shook my head.
"I... I think I'll pass on this one." I walked past her to put down my belongings in the back room, but she followed me.
"Why?" She asked closing the door behind us so that nobody would come snooping, "you used to love the balcony!"
"Love is a big word" I replied taking off my coat.
She sighed. "Will you tell me what happened? You seem different."
"I prefer not to" I said shaking my head, "You know, I just had a lot going on at home."
"Oh! Does it have anything to do with the insanely hot man that came here a few times?" She said mischievously.
"It's complicated" I replied going out of the room, hoping that she would just leave the topic.
The rest of the time went on like that, with her asking questions every time she had the chance to and with me sometimes replying, sometimes not. I made her take all the tables near the balcony, and if she noticed, she didn't point it out.
When I finished my shift I went into the back room to get changed and check my phone for eventual new calls or messages, but was interrupted when Chloe rushed into the room closing the door behind herself.
"Guess who's here?" She asked excitedly, and I opened my mouth to say something, but she didn't let me reply. "I'll have you know I adore the fact that you're back for two reasons. One, you're definitely taking me out of my misery and two, well... he's definitely eye candy, isn't he?"
"Harry's here?" I asked her, and her eyes widened.
"So his name is Harry! It's a nice name, it fits him. Wow, I saw the most attractive man on the planet and I also know his name!" She opened the door to peek out. "He's... well, he truly is something, isn't he? His jawline is so sharp and oh my god, his eyes are so green! Does he wear contacts? Or are his eyes actually that green? Does he look that hot in the morning? I bet he looks even better. His voice is so deep, I swear I almost felt it vibrate right through me when he said hello-"
I stopped her musings before she'd start asking more embarrassing questions. "It's nice to know that you like my boyfriend, but I'd rather you stopped now, this is quite embarrassing." I went out of the room and spotted Harry, who was standing next to the door.
To anyone else who didn't know him personally, he probably looked slightly awkward, but I could see the way his fingers were wrapped tightly around the hem of his brown coat, and how tight his jawline was.
"Hi" I said once I reached him, and he gave me a little smile.
"Hello. Are you ready to go?" He asked gently, wanting to get out of that place just as much as I did.
"Yep."
He opened the door for me and put the hand on my back, only to turn around swiftly when he heard his name being called out.
"Have a good day Harry! And you as well, Grace! But I'm sure you'll have a wonderful one, since that you're going home with a hottie!" Chloe shouted from the middle of the restaurant, her last sentence making me blush.
"I am so sorry" I whispered to Harry as we got out, "I might've let your name slip out."
He refrained a chuckle. "Don't mind. Is she always like that?"
"Kinda" I replied, "but I think she just might have a little crush on you."
He hummed. "I hope for her that's not it" he said, "Because I'm already taken."
"Oh really?" I said teasingly as the lift came and we got in.
He pushed the button to the ground floor. "You might know her" he replied, "She isn't that great at cooking so she makes me eat cupcakes every morning, but she's beautiful so I don't really mind."
"That's a quite specific description" I said, and he hummed slightly.
"She's always there for me whenever I need her to be, and she has this weirdly cute habit of making tea at any time. I'm not kidding" he started whispering, "I think she made me drink tea at three in the morning once."
"Maybe you shouldn't go around knocking on people's doors in the middle of the night" I replied, "I bet she was really confused."
"But I missed her" he said in the second the lift opened again, allowing us to walk out.
"Who knows, maybe she missed you too."
The back of his hand brushed against mine as he opened the door, and he intertwined our fingers. "Do you think that's why she made tea?"
"Isn't tea the perfect way to say I missed you?" I said jokingly, and he twitched his nose, a smile starting to form on his lips.
"I see her every day now, do you think that's why she stopped making tea?" He replied.
I pursed my lips. "Maybe you should ask her."
He let out a weird sound. "I'm trying, but she just keeps going on and on about tea" he said, the fake distress in his voice making me laugh, and he followed right after.
"I love you" I told him while resisting the urge of kissing one of his dimples, that had popped out as soon as he had started laughing.
He returned serious as soon as he heard the three words, a tiny smile playing on his face. "I love you too."
We reached his car and he walked to the driver's side to unlock it. As soon as he did I opened the door and sat on the passenger seat, and he sat down next to me.
"Let's go home" he said starting the engine, the car turning on and showing that it was just a few minutes past 5pm.
The drive home was silent, but not awkwardly silent. I knew he preferred not to talk much while he drove, wanting the street to have his full attention, and I really couldn't blame him for that. He intertwined our fingers silently, so I didn't really mind anyway.
He parked the car and we got out, entering the building.
"Still up for tonight?" He whispered as we were waiting for the lift, and I nodded.
"Where are you taking me?" I asked him getting into the lift and pulling him towards me.
"Dress nice, but not too elegant" he replied closing the space between us, his hand reaching up to brush my dark hair back.
"Sounds amazing for another date at McDonald's" I said, making him laugh.
"I didn't know what you liked, at least I tried" he defended himself, "But it's not McDonald's this time."
The lift's doors opened once again and we walked to his door, and he opened it letting the both of us in. I took off my coat and I hung it next to the door, and he did the same. We sat on the couch in the living room and I took off my shoes, crossing my legs and leaning against the cushion, turning to look at him.
He was checking his phone biting his lower lip, frowning slightly at whatever was on the screen, but looked up as he felt the weight of my gaze on him and the silence. His teeth let go of his lip, and he licked it to moisten it, his green eyes not leaving mine.
"You're beautiful" I replied simply to his unasked question, and he blushed slightly.
"You look dashing today" he said, making my heart leap in surprise.
"Do I?" I asked, knowing that my hair was probably a mess and sticking in all directions, turning my head to glance at my phone to make the situation less intense.
I didn't get a verbal response, because he just leant forward and brushed his nose against my cheek to make me turn my head. As soon as I did his lips found mine, and one of my hands found its way into his hair tugging at it lightly, making him sigh contentedly into the kiss. He pushed me back onto the couch as the kiss deepened, one of his thighs making its way between mine as his tongue slipped into my mouth. I surrendered to him, one of my hands brushing on his chest as he broke the kiss to leave a trail of small kisses down my neck, and I felt his excitement grow against my crotch.
My hands went to his shirt and undid the first button, just the first, stopping above the second in a silent request, but he froze nonetheless and sat up fast.
"I-" I started to say, but my words died between my lips as I realised that I didn't know what to say, and I sat up as well. "We don't have to, if you don't want to" I said gently, but that didn't seem to calm him down. "Harry." I touched his arm, trying to get him to say something, but he wasn't even looking at me, his gaze fixated on a spot behind me.
He closes his eyes and sighed. "I... I don't want to have secrets anymore" he said as his hands reached the second button of his black shirt, undoing it with one fast move.
I stayed silent as I watched him unbuttoning his shirt slowly until it was completely open, allowing me to see the two swallows on his chest and the butterfly on his torso.
He breathed in deeply before pushing the dark fabric off his shoulders and getting rid of it. He stayed still for a few seconds and so did I, waiting for him to do something. Then, he put his hands between us, the palm towards the ceiling to show me the inside of his wrists, and I felt my heart drop. On each wrist there was a long, white scar. I didn't need him to say anything to know what they were from, the way he had hidden them from me for such a long time telling enough.
"I was twenty" he said, his voice trembling slightly.
Noticing that he was scared, probably that I would've turned my back to him, I took one of his wrists and started tracing little circles on the inside how I had done through his shirt many times before, feeling the bump of the scar under my finger.
"Don't say anything" he added, "I don't want you to say anything."
"You do know that this doesn't change anything between us, right?" I asked him trying to make sure he knew I wouldn't have seen him differently because of something like that.
"It doesn't?" He said questioningly before blinking fast a few times.
I nodded. "It doesn't."
He looked down at his wrists, now abandoned on his knees, the inside still up. "You'll have to ask Gemma about these. I don't... I don't think I'll ever be able to talk about it."
I shook my head even if he was still looking down and couldn't see it. "I won't. You can tell me how much you want, when you want, if you want. You aren't forced to give me any kind of explanation. Just know that if you want to talk, I'm here."
He still hadn't lifted his head, and it didn't take me long to realise that he had started crying, and that he was looking down to hide it.
I wrapped my arms around him tightly and he leant against my body. "It will be okay" I whispered into his ear as he rested his head on my shoulder, and I lay down, taking him with me, playing with his hair as I waited for him to calm down.