So, a lot of people don't get how and why Jay jay forgave Aunt Florence so easily. Here's to ya. Jayden didn't forgive Aunt Florence for her, he forgave Aunt Florence for HIM. Even before walking through those prison gates, that was his aim. To be able to forgive her, no matter what reaction he would receive from her, so that he would be able to gain closure and move on from the past which holds him back.
There's this quote: I forgive people but that doesn't mean I accept their behavior or trust them. I forgive them for me, so I can let go and move on with my life.
SO, without further ado, Here's to an UPDATE! (PLAY MUSIC-IN THE DARK, CAMILA CABELLO)
(THERE'LL BE A PART TO REPLAY IT. I LOVE MY SCROLLERS BUNCHIES LOL)
(Long ass A/N I know. I've missed ya too much. Q. Why's Kira still w him? What happened?)
TRIGGER WARNING. ⚠
(FLASHBACK)
Kira sat on her bed in her room with tears streaming down her face. She had just come from Jayden's, who had apologized to her, yet again, for what he had done to her when he had promised for the fourth time not to touch her again.
Kira wiped her tears slowly, her eyes red and puffy. She was done. Done with him. No way in the world was she going to put up with his problems. They were affecting her too. Mentally and physically.
He was a freaking nymphomaniac.
Florence might have screwed up with his brain, and maybe she deserved most of the blame because he was just 7 when she began, but being on the receiving end of this sick sexual triangle was not on her list.
She had to tell his parents about it. About his terrible downfall and his sick behaviour. They would know what to do. And they would stop wasting their money on therapy for him, because he was long gone. There was no hope for someone like him. No. Hope.
"Kira...?" Jayden's voice startled her when it had sounded in her room, and she wondered how he got in, but then realized she hadn't even closed her door.
"What the hell are you doing in my room?" She turned and got to her feet. "Get out. Get out now."
"I'm really sorry-"
"Just leave!"
Jayden ran a hand through his hair, desperate to obtain forgiveness from her, from the girl he had been hurting. He wanted to say something, to tell her how he meant his apology this time, but he knew it would sound like a lie. Hadn't he meant all his other apologies? Why then were he and Kira at this point now?
"Didn't you hear me?" Kira asked, "I said get out. I can't do this! I'm not going to put up with you anymore. I'm insane for doing that!"
"Kira please," Jayden pleaded, "I promise, this time it's for good. I won't ever hurt you again. I regret every single minute of it-"
"It's too late for that." Kira's eyes glistened with tears and blazed with fury, "Tomorrow I'm going to see your therapist. I'm going to tell her everything."
Jayden panicked, "Please don't! She'll tell my parents!"
"She??" Kira asked and wiped a tear that had fallen, "She will tell them?? No. I WILL."
"Kira no please-"
"I've had enough of this! What about me?" She cried, "What about my situation?! You're just worried about what they would think of you. What about me?! How do you expect me to feel?!"
"I swear I didn't intend for things to happen this way." He gently touched her arm but she immediately jumped at the touch and pushed him, really hard that the back of his head hit the wall beside her doorframe.
"Ah!" His hand immediately flew to the back of his head as he shut his eyes in severe pain.
She continued, "I should have reported you the first day you did this. I should have, but do you know what stopped me?"
He continued to rub the back of his head, wincing in pain, and she continued,
"You cried and begged me not to. You promised you would take therapy seriously. And also, I'm the only one who knows exactly what Florence did to you. I'm the only one who witnessed your abuse. I witnessed her destroying you, and I saved you from that. Do you remember the promise I made you that day?"
"You said..." He took a deep breath, to block the way of the incoming tears, "You said-"
"I promised to continue being that saviour. To continue being the one who would defend you, and help you overcome the life she had laid out for you."
She paused, keeping her eyes on Jayden, who had his head tilted down with his hand still rubbing the back of his dark hair,
"That's why I didn't report you the first time. I chose to be your saviour even in that situation you put me in! And what did you do? You raped me again. And again. Which victim overlooks her pain and loss of self-worth to try to understand her rapist?! Which victim even tries to put her rapist's unfortunate past before her current situation?"
An unexpected tear had fallen down from his tilted face as she spoke,
"You put me in that dreaded situation. Your saviour, or your victim."
"Kira-"
"So," She said loudly, "I realized the hard way, that it's time I looked out for myself, because who will? I have no saviour or hero. Tomorrow, your therapist will know, your parents will know, and God help you when the cops know. I'm done with you. And I'm leaving this house the minute your parents get back from their trip."
She walked towards the door and opened it wider for him to leave.
He lifted his head and turned to her, his eyes beginning to redden as he sniffled, "You know I would have never done it if my past hadn't happened."
"Are you trying to justify your actions?" She asked in shock.
"No, I just want you to know I can be a better person. I can be a better person so please help me to be."
"Get out, please. I am not doing this right now. I've made up my mind."
"Please don't give up on me." He wanted to hold her hand but she withdrew it,
"What about me, Jayden? What about my feelings? My," She hesitated, tears threatening to fall, "My sanity! I can't keep going through this. I stupidly already gave you enough chances and put you before me so many times. Just, get out. Please go."
Jayden kept his eyes on Kira, one last time, before he did as she wished.
***
The next morning, Kira had left the house very early to meet up with his therapist, whom he was to have a session with later in the day.
Kira told her everything, from the beginning to the very end, how she felt and her plans to leave.
His therapist comforted Kira and assured her that she would take care of letting his parents know.
"I am really disappointed in Jayden." Dr. Linda's dark brown eye brows furrowed as she supported her chin with her knuckles, in one of her black leather sofas. "He also never told me any of this."
Kira sat opposite her and informed, "I want to report him. I need to stand up for myself. Jayden is a rapist now, and I'm not about to let what he did to me, slide. He didn't care how much I cried, or begged."
Dr. Linda adjusted herself in her seat so she was completely facing Kira, "Honey, I completely understand you. And I would have stood by you a hundred percent, but-"
"But??" Kira impatiently asked.
"This isn't the kind of situation we know of. What I mean to say is, Jayden is not the straight up rapist we know. He is a victim, turned rapist. In as much as he is a rapist, he is also a victim. So we need to handle him with caution, because this new behaviour of his was birthed from his horrible past."
Kira wiped a tear as swiftly as possible, "Well this 'behaviour' of his has me affected. Is this the part where we try to figure out who is the bigger victim? Him or me?"
"This is not what it's about, my dear." Dr. Linda's soothingly calm voice bellowed, "This isn't a simple matter. We have to be cautious about this, because right now, as his therapist, I'm letting you know that Jayden is in a mentally bad place. His parents don't know yet, but he is terribly not sound."
***
Kira got home two hours to noon and marched towards his room. She knocked slightly before pushing the door open, laying eyes on Jayden in his sofa, with a plate of a variety of fruits and a glass of water. He was wearing a plain white T-shirt and a pair of grey boxer shorts.
There was an ice bag, for the swelling of his head, on the bedside table. He had temporarily put it down whilst he ate.
Apart from the gardener, a security guard, and Jayden's driver, they were the only ones left at home. The other four maids were on leave and would be back the following week, when Mr. and Mrs. Benson would be back as well.
She walked closer and stood beside him, looking down at him, and noticed how his chewing had gotten slower, and how he gently placed the fork back on the plate.
"I spoke to your therapist, and I told her everything."
He paused, then nodded twice.
"She'll inform your parents as soon as they get back. She prefers to have a face to face conversation."
He nodded again.
"Please let me know when you're done eating, so I can clean up." She walked towards the door, and added, "I would also really appreciate it if you weren't around while I cleaned."
He nodded, and when she was just about to step out, he murmured, "I'm sorry."
She gripped the door handle, and turned to him. "Stop saying that. Stop making this more difficult than it already is. I can't feel sorry for my rapist. You know that."
He nodded twice and she left.
For four days, when Kira came to clean his room, he had to leave, and only come back when she had informed him that she was done.
When she walked out of his room on the fourth consecutive day, she spotted him at the bottom of the staircase, holding a large book with plain sheets and a pencil. He was drawing something, from the looks of it.
She descended the stairs, gradually getting a better view of what he was so focused on.
A rose? He's drawing a rose? She wondered. Why?
"Jayden."
He immediately shot his head up and pushed the book to the corner.
She had finished cleaning way earlier than usual.
She explained, "There wasn't much to clean." then asked, "Why are you drawing a rose?"
"It's nothing." He simply said.
"Um... when are you also going for therapy? You didn't go the other day and you've kept postponing it. You-"
"I'll go today."
With that said, Kira then went to put back the cleaning materials in their rightful place, and went straight to packing her belongings. She had three days left in the house.
Jayden did go for therapy, and he took longer than the usual. It was 8 pm and he still wasn't back.
She picked up the house's phone book and dialed his driver's phone number but realized it was irrelevant because she saw the car's light from out the door.
She rushed to the narrow hallway when the door knob turned, and hid as she watched Jayden enter, in a grey shirt and black jeans, with grey sneakers.
She hid further in the dark hallway when she noticed that he was headed there. What did he want? Her room was here.
She watched discreetly as he approached her room and lifted his fist to knock, but hang it in the air for a while. Then he ran his fingers through his dark hair.
What was he doing? Was he trying to get with her right after therapy?
She snapped out of her thoughts when she heared him murmur, "I'm sorry... for everything." then he walked away.
Kira went straight to the kitchen and called his therapist, while she began to warm his dinner.
"What happened?" Kira asked, "How was today's session?"
Dr. Linda hesitated, "He broke down. Completely. He... I have never seen him this depressed before. He was close to having a panic attack."
Kira kept silent as his therapist went on, "Kira, I'm Jayden's therapist, and I suggest we handle this with more caution. I know this is difficult for you. It is for me too, but we can't take any legal actions at the moment. I am not overlooking your pain and your situation,"
Dr. Linda paused for a few seconds, and gathered her words, "But if we can't help him as a victim, we surely can't help him as a rapist."
With that said, Dr. Linda ended the call, and Kira silently put the phone down on the countertop.
(REPLAY MUSIC OVER HERE)
She carried his food to his room once the warm up was done, but there were so many thoughts running through her head.
Jayden's therapist would surely back him up no matter what. If she told his parents, they would still back their son up. Even court would take his side. They'd say he was mentally instable. He was the bigger victim. She didn't deserve to even be called a victim. She had no one to turn to. No one to defend her.
She had no hero.
She walked into his room and glanced around. He wasn't here.
"Jayden?" She called out. No response.
She decided to put the tray down on the bedside table, but there was something unusual on it.
An envelope with her name boldly imprinted on it.
She held the tray with one hand and picked up the envelope, then opened it and laid eyes on a folded paper.
She unfolded the paper, and gaped at what she laid her eyes on. A breathtakingly gorgeous colored drawing of a large rose. The rose he had been drawing earlier.
There were some writings at the top corner and she looked at it, momentarily admiring his beautiful handwriting.
'You were once my hero... but you told me you didn't have a hero.'
She read the next line which was slightly below the first,
'I want to be that hero. I want to be your hero.'
Confusion set on Kira's face. Those were the only words written on the paper.
Her eyes roamed the paper, along the curves of the red rose and hit the bottom of the paper. There were some writings there, but smaller.
She adjusted the paper so she could see the writings properly, and when she did, the tray containing his dinner, a glass of water and a soft drink toppled from her hand to the floor with a loud noise.
'I killed your rapist. I love you.'
(Next Chapter continues what happens after this, and that will be the end of the flashbacks)
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