He looked at me stonily as if I was the one who was mad. I closed my eyes, reflecting on the years of our marriage. Where did it go wrong? Where did we go wrong? I forced my mind to look for inanimate traces- some type of indicator. Then it dawned on me. I opened my eyes.
"What would Jayla think if she was here?" I sobbed.
His thoughts were silent and his anger remained unspoken, but ripples of rage filtered across his eyes and into the stillness of the room.
"Don't you dare," he warned.
My lawyer, Paul, shifted uneasily in his seat as the room fell dead. Taj's lawyer, Michael, fiddled with his pen with calloused fingers. I could sense that they were uncomfortable.
Paul cleared his throat before speaking: "We do not have to do this today."
Taj smacked his teeth and rolled his eyes.
"Clearly, emotions are high," he continued. "And both of you agreed to do this without any animosity. With that being said, same time next week?"
Michael nodded his head in agreement and they both got up to leave.
As soon as the door shut, Taj leaned forward.
"You should know that bringing up my daughter was a fucking a mistake," he barked. His authoritative voice hit me in my gut, startling me.
"Our," I stated with just as much power.
"What?"
"Our! She was our daughter!" I slammed the table. I was mad now.
Nine Years Ago
I felt the bed shift and the covers being pulled off my body. I already knew it was Taj. He had the habit of waking up feeling late. He will always dress in a rush, scarf down a bagel with hazelnut cream, kiss Jayla and I goodbye and head to the hospital.
"Taj, I don't mind the fact that you have to get up so damn early but why must you wake me in the process?" I groaned, sitting up on the bed. I glanced at the clock. It was 4 am. I will never be a morning person. I guess that is why I dreaded school. I loved learning-still do, but the whole get up at dawn is a no no.
He is a doctor. So I expected the early mornings and late nights but sometimes I wish he wasn't gone so often now that Jayla is here. But hey, we knew what we were stepping into when we decided to go to medical school.
" I'm sorry babe. I have to go in earlier than usual to make sure the interns aren't killing my patients." He leaned over and kissed me.
I chuckled, remembering how angry he was the night before when he came home. One of his "idiotic, brainless interns" started a patient on total parenteral nutrition after mishearing his attending physician.
"No need to apologize. Go save lives, my love." I smiled up at him.
"I love you."
"I love you too Taj."
~~~
"Now Jayla, be a good girl for mommy and stop the tears," I ordered. I glanced in the review mirror at my brown eyed one-year-old daughter, who is currently screaming her lungs out and squirming in her car seat. Her ass was spoiled remotely because of her father but I did play a part in that somewhat. I can't believe she will be two years old soon and of course, she is a brainiac like her parents.
I had to drop off at daycare before I went to work. I am an occupational therapist and I absolutely love what I do. Occupational therapy is a very impactful career. The ability to be self-efficient in life is crucial for not only survival but happiness; OT's help their clients become self-reliant. I assist people who have suffered spinal cord injuries and help them do everyday activities. Currently, I am working with a high school senior and linebacker on a local school's football team, Joquain Adams. He sustained a complete spinal cord injury after a hard hit on the field. Is there a possibility for him to regain complete function? Walk again? Play again? There's a chance with great rehabilitation but his family has come to accept the fact that his dream to play in the NFL is over.
When he first came to therapy he couldn't walk or stand without assistance, use the bathroom or brush his teeth. It was tough on his self-esteem. With the help of technology, he is gradually strengthening his coordination and building his confidence. It's just difficult to help him get back to his everyday activities when they all centered around football.
"Jayla, I said stop!" I turned around briefly to give her that "keep trying me" look as she started screaming even louder.
I sighed and turned back around only to be inches from ramming a 16-wheeler. I swerved into the right lane and by the grace of God avoided what could have been a catastrophe of a car accident.
Jayla quieted down when the car jerked from the quick turn and I was thankful.
"Young lady, that attitude, the sniffles, and tears got to go before we walk into this daycare," I stated as I pulled in front of Westhill Academy Daycare.
"Sorry, mommy," Jayla said pouting. She knew exactly what to do to pull at my heartstrings. Just like her daddy.
"It's fine baby, just behave yourself today." I exited the car and took Jay out of her car seat and followed her into the daycare.
I watched as she took her jacket off and hung it on the coat rack, placed her Spider-Man book bag in her cubbie and grabbed her Rugrats blanket from her container. She glanced back at the doorway where I stood: "Bye, mommy." I waved back.
"See you later princess."
That little girl is my world. She makes my life greater in every aspect.
I left Westhill and got into my car and headed to my session with Joquain. Today we are working on some short-term functional goals. We are going to be cooking. Joaquin's mom told me how much he loved helping prepare Thanksgiving dinner so this should be a fun activity for him.
I walked into the clinic to see Joquain in his wheelchair, smiling as soon as he saw me.
"Hey, Dr. A!"
"Good morning, Joquain. Are you ready for our cooking season today?"
"Oh hell yeah! When you see what I can do in the kitchen, you wouldn't have no choice but to fall madly in love with me." He flashed a flirtatious smile.
"Oh is that so, Mr. Adams?" It was obvious that Joquain had an innocent little crush on me and I didn't mind it. It motivated him in a way. He wanted to show me that he wasn't as helpless as everyone says he is.
"You'll see." He smirked as we made our way to the kitchen.
***
It was now 4 o'clock in the afternoon and Jayla and I was in the car, heading home. Work today was great. I loved seeing how fast Joquain is making progress. I love seeing my clients blossom right in front of me.
"Mommy, daddy finger please," requested Jayla. I rolled my eyes. That song is the devil and I'm sorry but whoever made it your moms a hoe!
I stopped at a red light and put the stupid song on. Jayla clapped excitedly and started singing along.
"Okayyy, vocals." I joked as I noticed the traffic light turn green. I pressed on the gas not noticing the Toyota Camry speeding down the intersection. Before I could process what was happening, the car plowed into the side of mine.
The windshield imploded, showering the insides with deadly slivers of glass. Both the driving wheel and dashboard compacted into one mangled mess. The rear side passenger door was savagely torn free from its hinges and the front two wheels were sent spinning out into the road.
My face was pressed into an airbag and I was still strapped firmly into the driver's seat with nothing worse than cuts and scrapes.
I could smell smoke; an oily taste hung in the air. I grappled with the airbag and managed to push it to one side.
"Jayla!" I croaked out! I heard her crying so that eased my heart a bit.
I knew our time was limited as black fumes and dark smoke started to fill the car. My throat started to burn and my eyes started to water. I had to get us out of here. Now.
The engine caught fire; small flickers of yellow flame appeared from the twisted metal.
I unhooked my seatbelt and managed to climb into the backseat where Jayla was.
"It's okay baby! We're gonna get out of here." I can hear the sirens approaching.
We both began to cough from the smoke inhalation, our lungs full now burning at our insides, our eyes were red raw and both streamed uncontrollably as I fumbled with the belt of her car seat. It was fucking stuck.
"Oh, God!"
Firefighters sprinted quickly towards the scene and cracked the back door open.
"We have to get you out of here right now, ma'am!" The masked fireman tried to pull me from the wrecked vehicle but I refused.
"My baby- she's stuck." I coughed out.
"Ok ma'am, we'll get her out as soon as you exit."
I got out and waited frantically for Jayla to be recused. Seconds after I got out the car, it engulfed in flames, trapping Jayla and the firefighter inside. I stood there emotionless. My phone started to ring.
I reached down and removed the phone from my pocket and nervously placed it to his ear.
"Hello?" I whispered.
After a short pause, I managed to Say. "Hi, honey. Yeah look I'm going to be a little late, you see there's been an accident..."
I should've stayed with her.