"Wait!" I shouted. "Stay with me!"
But, Namjoon was heading to the dark.
"Can't you see the light?" I asked, shouting. "The light shines through the darkness that you've left behind."
I started running towards him, but he was getting farther, so I reached out my hand for his. "Stop!"
He faded away.
I knelt down, covering my face with my hands.
My tears were running down my cheeks. I wiped them, staring at my hands. No, they were not tears. It... It was blood! My hands were covered with the blood coming out of my eyes.
Somebody hugged me from behind, so I turned around to see his face, but it was blurred. The blood coming out of my eyes had blurred my vision.
Suddenly, I woke up, breathing continuously. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall. It was 6:15 PM.
I rubbed my eyes, trying to stand on my feet.
My parents weren't home, so I decided to leave the house.
I only grabbed my jacket which was hanging on the hanger.
I walked to get to the light house, because I thought that I might find Namjoon there.
I was looking at the sea, listening to its waves, thinking about Namjoon.
I could hear someone breathing behind me as his breath was hitting my neck. "The winds sails over the water's surface. Quietly... but surley."
I turned around, encircling my hands around his neck, snuggling my head into his jacket as he restet his chin on my head.
His right arm trailed up my back, burying his hand in my hair as he looked at my lips, then he leaned in closer, switching his gaze from my lips to my eyes.
I wanted to stay in his warm arms forever, but I pushed him away, shouting at him, causing him to close his eyes. "Where the fuck have you been, Namjoon?!"
He didn't respond, because he was lost in the silence.
I gazed at him with anger, then I slapped him.
He stared down. "I-I deserved that."
Really?! Is that all he's got to say after 5 days?
I slapped him once again. "You deserved that one, too."
I didn't know why, but something was pushing me towards him, causing me to slam my lips on his, but he pushed me away.
"We're not meant to be together," He said, taking a deep breath. "I almost came here everyday in order to see you, because I thought that I might find you here. We can't be together. I'll bring nothing but pain. Forget me."
What the hell was he talking about?
I held his hands, but he took a step back.
"I hate you." He shouted. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, and I'll hate you for a thousand years."
My eyes filled with water.
What was he talking about?
"Namjoo—"
He cut me off by turning his back on me, but I gripped his wrist, forcing him to stop.
"You don't really mean what you've said, right?" I asked, nervously.
"I mean every word I say," He replied, wriggling his hand out of my grip. "I mean every fucking shit I say, Y/N!"
He started walking. He was walking away from... from me?
I walked after him, gripping his wrist again. "Don't walk away! I know you don't mean this. Who has forced you to do this to me, huh? I'm not blind, Namjoon. I can see the bruises all over your face."
"All you have to do is forgetting me. You'll live a better life with Hoseok. Trust me. I know he loves you. He'll take care of you," He said, turning at me, holding up my chin. "And that's all that matters to me. Seeing you happy, living a better life," He gave me a fake smile. "I'm sorry Y/N... for hating you."
He let go of my chin, leaving me as my tears were running down my cheeks.
I closed my eyes, tightly.
I didn't know what to do or even what to say. I didn't want to look at him as he was getting father.
It looked like my nightmare. In my nightmare, he was heading to the dark, without noticing the light which had been behind him.
I knelt down, covering my face with my hands. Unlike my nightmare, nobody came to hug me. I was all alone, standing by my own.
•••
My father dropped me at school.
I was walking in the hallway.
I headed towards my locker, and threw my stuff in there.
"You seem angry," Taehyung said, leaning against the wall next to my locker. "What happened?"
"Nothing." I replied, shutting the locker's door.
"Really?! Is that all I get as an answer?!" He asked, crossing his arms.
I turned my back on him as I was walking away.
"Turning your back on me, now?" He asked, encircling his arm around my shoulder.
"Sorry, Taehyung. I'm not feeling very well."
Hoseok rushed towards us, breathing continuously. "Namjoon's back."
Taehyung was shocked, but I wasn't. Why? Because I saw him, last night.
"Where is he?" Taehyung shouted.
"In... in our classroom." Hoseok replied.
They ran towards the classroom, but I decided to walk instead of running.
Taehyung turned his face at me as him and Hoseok were running. "Come on, Y/N!"
I shook my head as I continued walking. He turned his back on me once again, and headed to the classroom with Hoseok.
After about a minute, I entered the classroom. Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook had gathered around Namjoon as he was sitting.
I took a seat. My seat was infront of Namjoon's.
I didn't want to get involved in their conversation, but I could hear them.
"What the fuck have you done?" Taehyung shouted, punching his hand on the wall.
Namjoon answered him but his voice couldn't be heard.
"Who cares?" Yoongi asked, then he yawned.
I rolled my eyes.
"Don't! Don't start an argument with me, Yoongi!" Seokjin whisper-yelled.
Somebody poked me on the shoulder, causing me to turn around as I was still sitting down.
"Hey, baby." Hoseok said as he grabbed my neck, kissing me on the lips, causing me to freeze.
They noticed us, so after a bit, we stopped kissing.
I glanced at Namjoon. I was sure that he saw us kissing too, but his eyes were closed.
Jungkook started clapping. "YAY! I'd love to be an uncle!"
I widened my eyes, staring at Hoseok.
"What the fuck?!" Yoongi asked as he slapped Jungkook on the nape of his neck.
The teacher was coming in.
"Guys, guys, guys! Red alart!" Taehyung said, nervously. "Come on! I don't want to stay outside their classroom with my arms raised. Let's leave."
Seokjin, Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook left the classroom.
Hoseok took a seat as he was smiling at my face. He was doing all of this on purpose.
"Hello, class." The teacher said.
She continued talking, but I wasn't listening to her, because I was lost in thoughts.
After about an hour, Hoseok poked me on the arm. "Psst! Turn to page 68. You're still on page 60. She may notice you."
What was happening to me?
My soul belongs to somebody else, but I was pretending that I belong to my best friend.
I fucking hate myself!
Maybe Namjoon is right. Maybe I deserve so much hate.
I wanted to turn my face at Namjoon, and see his face. I wanted to see how he was. I wanted to cry in his arms, but it can't happen again, because I'm the one whom he hates the most.