"Cassidy, is that you?" I hear from behind me. I stop in my tracks and turn around, and then there he is. The one person I've been forcing myself to not think about for weeks now.
"Dyl. Hey." I say, suddenly breathless.
"Hey? You drop off the face of the planet without so much as a goodbye, and all I get is hey?" He says angrily, walking right up to me.
"Yeah, I guess that's all I've got." I tell him in a small voice. My heart skips a beat when he comes closer to me, but I can't tear my eyes away from his. I'd almost forgotten how beautiful he was. How much I need him.
"Well then come here." He sighs, pulling me in for what feels like the tightest hug he's ever given to me. I hold back tears. I've been a horrible friend to him.
"I'm sorry." I whisper into him, clinging on tightly.
"Where the hell have you been Cassidy? And why didn't you call? Or at least, like, send a letter or something, I don't know." He says, rubbing the back of his neck. I never even really considered that he would be missing me, only how much I missed him. I always figured he meant a little bit more to me than I did to him.
"Didn't my mom tell you? I got a great job at a law firm, but I had to leave right away. I'm taking night classes to finish up my degree, and I'm so sorry but I've just been so busy all the time. Dyl, you know if I could be anywhere in the world it would be here with you and my mom." I explain myself with as few details as possible.
"But you didn't even say goodbye. Didn't call once. Do you know how shitty that made me feel?" He replies.
"I guess I was scared. Probably of the reaction you're giving me now." I say and he cracks a smile. So do I.
"Well we both know I'm not good at staying mad at you," He says and pulls me in for another hug, saying, "I'm glad you're back," into my hair.
It sends a shiver down my spine. I miss him. Even though he's here, I miss him, because I'm not really here. Not in the way he needs me to be, anyways. I'm lying to him about everything.
"Actually, I'm heading out now. I just stopped by to say goodbye." I tell him, and suddenly the memory of the flash drive in my pocket hits me. I have to get out of here before they realize it's missing.
"Okay, just please-" He says, grabbing my hand as I try to walk away and pulling me back towards him, "No more silent treatment. Call me, visit me, please. I hope your job is going amazing, you'll have to tell me everything later."
"I will. I promise." I smile back at him. Part of me thinks I'm telling the truth, part of me knows I'm not.
And then I'm out back onto the street, with thoughts of Dylan fresh in my mind, but more importantly a flash drive that feels like it weighs half a ton in my pocket. Guilt overcomes me momentarily for stealing from the people that have been like family to me, and it crosses my mind that I don't actually have to.
I don't have to trust Tony and the Avengers more than my own family. I could walk up to Mr. Connors, tell him everything that happened to me, and beg him to get this stuff out of me so I can go back to loving his son from afar. He is the expert on this substance after all, not Tony or Banner or anyone else. He's been studying it for who knows how long now.
I hesitate, but something in my gut tells me not to go back in there.
Loki. His words ring through my head, "Humans are the cruelest beasts of all. Do not have faith in them. Even the ones you love."
Somehow, I know he's right. I keep walking away from the compound, and I get on a bus to take me to where Happy is waiting for me with one of Tony's cars. I never thought Loki would be my guiding light in a situation like this. He keeps surprising me.
"Hey Cassidy, how'd it go?" Happy asks as I step into the car.
I pull the flash drive out of my pocket and go to hand it to him. "Good, I got it."
"Oh no, don't give that thing to me. Tony would kill me if I lost it, with you he might just pull a few hairs out." Happy says and I laugh, slipping the drive back into my pocket. I lean back in my chair and exhale properly for the first time all morning, feeling relief spread through me.
I did it. And now hopefully I never have to do anything like that again. I've killed a few aliens, I've gone on a spy mission by myself, and now I can relax. Now Tony will take this flash drive, figure out for real what happened to me that day in the van, and tell me how to reverse all of this mess.
When I walk back into the compound after Happy drops me off, I find that it's all rather quiet. There isn't the huge gathering with questions and congratulations for me that I was expecting. I guess this superhero stuff is more risk than reward after all.
"Guys? Tony?" I say as I enter the hallway, making sure to place the flash drive on the table by the entryway so I don't forget about it in my pocket. I pass by everyone's door and hear nothing, until a single voice comes from Loki's room. I pause to listen.
"Yes brother, I'll take great care of the girl. Do you not trust me?" He says with a mischievous smile on his face.
"Is that Thor? Where is he?" I ask Loki, who doesn't even flinch when I speak, telling me he knew I was here the whole time.
"None of my business apparently." Loki says bitterly.
"Give me the phone." I say, holding out a hand. He begins to say no, but I use my powers to pull it from his hand and send it flying over to me.
"Hi Thor, it's Cassidy. Where is everybody?" I ask.
"Cassidy, you're back! Unfortunately we all had to meet with Doctor Strange to discuss a stone in his possession. He lives up to his name, he refused to meet us at the compound." Thor says.
"And you all had to go?" I ask.
"He wants to make sure we are all here and at full strength in case he ever becomes incapacitated and needs us to guard his stone." Thor tells me.
"Oh, so Tony didn't want me to come?" I ask, realizing the little mission he just sent me on may have been more so to keep me busy than anything.
"It seems Tony doesn't ever want you to go anywhere, he cares about your welfare quite a bit." Thor reminds me, and I nod even though he can't see it.
"Okay, well be safe." I say.
"We always are. We'll be back later this evening, don't let Loki do anything stupid please." He says and I laugh.
"I won't." I reply, then we both hang up.
"Please, never do that again." Loki says, grabbing his phone back from me.
"No promises." I reply and he smiles.
The next few hours crawl by, in a boring blur, and I'm realizing without Tony I really truly have nothing to do. I take off my clothes and heavy black suit because it was getting hot, and slip into a comfortable tank top and leggings. I then decide to try a few tricks with my powers, and in two hours I've taught myself how to walk on the ceiling and steady myself with my palms.
"Loki, come check me out!" I shout, as I do a horrible tap dance on the ceiling.
He comes out and looks up with his arms crossed over his chest.
"Very impressive, indeed." He says in a bored tone, yet I can tell he's trying to hide his amusement.
I flip back over and pretend to walk down invisible stairs that aren't really there, steadying myself with my palms facing towards the Earth.
"This is bizarre. Before I couldn't even do a handstand, and now I can do one in mid-air, or on the ceiling. Am I a freak?" I ask.
"Yes, but not because of your powers." He replies and I scoff with a smile, hitting his arm lightly.
"You surprise me sometimes, Loki." I smile.
"How so?" He replies. I just shrug, and he rolls his eyes, probably wanting an answer.
I hear the buzzer ring, which means someone is buzzing in from outside of the front gate, and I walk back over to the lobby to answer them.
"Hello?" I say, holding down the intercom button.
"Delivery for Mr. Stark." The voice says.
"One second, I'll come grab it." I tell them, because I know Tony would kill me if I opened the gate and let the delivery guy drive up to the door. I'll just go get the package myself and bring it back.
I begin walking outside down the pathway to the gate and just as I reach it and go to push the Open button, I hear Loki chasing after me.
"Where are you going? I've been told to look after you and I can't afford to fail at another thing." He shouts, and I turn around to see him halfway down the driveway already.
"Just grabbing a delivery, don't worry." I laugh at his concern. I press the button on this side of the gate, and it swings open slowly.
"Stark doesn't allow deliveries here." I hear him say from behind me.
It's too late, though. Two large men already jumped out of the van in front of the gate and grabbed both of my arms. I flail around in panic as they begin to drag me towards the van, squeezing my body to the point of pain.
They turn me around and drag me backwards, deciding that would be easier, and that's when I remember Loki is here.
"Loki!" I scream, struggling against the weight of these men.
I see that he's already at the edge of the gate, only a mere ten feet from me, but he can't do anything. My heart sinks. He still has the cuffs on.
He tries to rip them off of his wrists with sheer strength and willpower, but he can't.
"Dammit!" He shouts in frustration. He looks up at me, and the gut-wrenching look in his eyes tells me that he's sorry. I'm on my own.
"Loki." I say in a smaller voice, and a tear escapes my eye. I stop struggling, and get one last look at the blue of his eyes before a heavy bag is placed over my head. The fumes inside it begin to suffocate me, and then everything goes black.
Pain.
The pain is throbbing through my skull and the rest of my body, as though I've been banged around for awhile. The light stings my eyes as I try to pry them open, and my headache intensifies. I try to bring one of my hands up to rub my eyes, but they don't budge.
Then I remember what just happened to me. My eyes spring open, and I begin to take in my surroundings.
"No." I whisper as I look down and see where I'm standing. I'm standing completely against a large wooden post, and around my torso and arms are coils and coils of rope holding me in place. My ankles are also tied up against the post.
I see that I'm in the middle of a huge grass field, with nothing else in sight around me except some trees. I try and use my powers to push off against the ground, but struggling doesn't make the wooden post budge at all, it only makes the rope around my throat begin to feel like it's choking me. I'm stuck.
From behind me I hear footsteps, and a man walks out in front of me. Two men follow him, the large men that kidnapped me. They all turn around about ten feet in front of my post.
Relief fills me. Mr. Connors.
"Mr. Connors, thank god. Those men grabbed me! Please, do something!" I shout at him, but he barely reacts.
"I know." He says, and my heart sinks. He knows what I did.
I don't say anything.
"I saw the funniest thing on the security footage this morning. I didn't believe it myself at first, because how could it be possible? A girl wasn't there, and suddenly poof, she appeared. She molded metal in mid-air, she broke into my office, and then she made her arm go invisible to steal a flash drive from my computer. The who was easy. That was you, Cassidy. But how?" He begins, and my throat tightens.
"Then it hit me. The hijacking. The accident. When we were robbed of our most valuable possession. All of the cameras nearby were destroyed that day, but our men told us it was a young girl. And then you mysteriously disappear for some vague new job. Then you show up randomly at my office and steal our lab's data. And then all clicked." He says, and I wish I could curl into a ball and hide. It's taking everything in me to not burst into tears, or go invisible just so he can't see my face. But I know I can't crack, I have to be strong.
Still, I say nothing.
"Since I just can't help myself, I have a few questions for you. How did you do it? Did you inject Substance X into your veins, or drink it? Did you mold it into a weapon or a glove that gives you the ability to control it's powers?" He asks me.
"I didn't want this." I reply through gritted teeth, finally looking him in the eyes. Anger boils in my blood suddenly. Mr. Connors, the man who basically helped raise me after my father passed, is holding me hostage and interrogating me like I'm some criminal.
He didn't even bother to talk to me first, or ask me what happened. He went straight for the kill. I hope that isn't literal, but why else would I be tied to a post in the middle of nowhere?
"Oh, I believe you. I don't think you wanted to get caught either." He replies.
"That's not what I-" I begin to protest, but he interrupts.
"I'd be fascinated to learn the true scope of your powers as well. Our research has made us well aware of the magnetism and camouflage capabilities of Substance X, but I'm curious as to how that translates into enhancements in a human being. To be honest I didn't think anyone could survive with that stuff in their bloodstream, it's really quite powerful. It took almost a year just for us to develop glass it wouldn't dissolve through." He laughs, as though this is all fun to him.
"What do you want?" I ask him in a low voice and he stops laughing.
"You should have stayed home that day Cassidy, like Dylan told you to." He answers, referring to when I involved myself in the hijacking, even though I was only trying to help him.
Then he turns, says something to his men, and walks away.
Mr. Connors leaves, and I'm left with the terrifying goons who bought me here. One of them looks me up and down with a perverted grin. He makes a kiss face at me and laughs at my disgust. His friend hits him on the arm.
"What? She's crazy but she's cute." He shrugs and a sickening feeling enters my stomach.
"Let me ask again. What do you people want?" I muster up the courage to ask again.
"Right now we want you to shut up. We need to keep you defenseless until the boss gives us the signal." The second man not looking at me like I'm a piece of meat says.
"The signal? To do what exactly?" I ask, sounding brave but feeling so scared inside.
"Oh, sweetheart, you don't want to know." The first creepy man says.
"I think I can handle it." I fire back, and he grins like this is a game.
The man walks right up to me, so he's only a foot in front of me, and says, "You can act tough all you like, but there's no metal around here for you to mess with."
The second he says that, I know he's wrong. I can feel it. Faint, small amounts, but close. I close my eyes to try and locate it. I can feel it flowing somewhere nearby, in a rhythmic pattern.
Then I realize what the metal I'm picking up on is. It's in their blood. Once I realize this, I know I'm right. I open my eyes and I can practically feel the iron pulsing through their veins, beating against the skin of their necks as their hearts beat.
"There is some." I reply, and both men, who are now ten feet in front of me again, turn to look at me.
"She talks too much, drug her again." I hear one of them say, and I know I have to act now. They're going to kill me if I don't.
"I'm sorry." I whisper quietly, then I shimmy my hands by my sides so my palms are outstretched facing the men.
I draw the metal towards me, using every bit of power I can muster into my palms. I'm almost heartbroken when I realize it's working.
The men drop to their knees, screaming, as their skin begins to quite literally burst open. I'm tearing the iron out of their blood, after all. It comes through their skin, breaking it open everywhere. Their insides are being pulled out of them, it must be excruciating.
A fine red dust begins to travel towards my hands, sticking to my palms. I scrunch my eyes shut, and I keep pulling the metal out of them until the screaming stops. I open my eyes.
Two lifeless corpses lay on the ground, their skin almost a sickly blue color from the lack of iron, slowly gushing blood from every surface. What a horrible way to die.
My lungs begin to feel like their collapsing as I stare at the bodies, but I force myself to hold off on a panic attack until I can free myself.
I crush one of my fists together, heating the powdered iron in my palm up enough with my powers until it's red hot. I then grab onto the rope until it catches fire, and once the fire burns through the first coil the rope loosens and I wiggle myself free of it. I untie my ankles to free myself fully before stomping out the small fire forming on the pile of rope. My lower stomach stings with a small burn, but I don't care.
I look down at my hands in horror of what they just did to those men. They're covered in red dust. Thick and gritty. The scent of metallic blood fills the air. I gag, rubbing my hands against my shirt until it is streaked with red.
I don't care, I just want this off of my skin. Upon further examination it looks like my entire body is covered in the fine red dust. I'm probably breathing it in.
I snap back into focus and take off in a sprint, knowing I need to get back to Tony. I go invisible so nobody else will see me, and I push hard off of the ground so I can fly up and get a perspective on where I am. My arms are shaking from exhaustion, but I push through.
The sun is setting now, and it looks like I'm pretty much in the middle of nowhere. I fly around above the trees somewhat aimlessly for what feels like forever until I spot the top of a spacecraft tucked behind a hill. The Asgardian camp. The compound isn't far from here.
I fly over the Asgardians in their small tents and makeshift community until a mile or two up I reach the compound again. I see everyone gathered on the front yard by where I was taken and I slowly descend towards them, still not visible.
"What do you mean she was taken? Loki, where is she?" Tony screams at Loki, shoving him in the chest before Cap pulls him back.
"I don't know, I'm sorry, she-" Loki begins to back away from the group, who must have just returned back from their meeting, towards the house.
I go visible again about ten feet in the air and land with a staggering thud behind Loki, unsteady on my feet.
They all turn to look at me, burnt clothing covered in blood stains, probably looking like a complete disaster.
"Cassidy." Loki breathes out, looking relieved.
I take a step towards him, and then I collapse into him. Yes, he was the closest to the door, but there's also something about him being the last person I saw that makes me so thankful to see him again. There were moments I truly didn't think I would.
I let him completely support my body weight as I begin to sob into his chest, as everything that just happened hits me at once. He cautiously pats my back, holding me up with his other arm.
"Cassidy, sweetie, let's get you inside." Natasha says softly, tucking my hair behind my ear. I nod, and she helps pull me off of Loki. Her and Cap each wrap an arm around my waist, supporting me as we walk inside. Well, I barely do any walking. My legs feel like jello.
"Let me clean her up, Steve." She says to Cap and he nods, letting Natasha lead me into my bedroom. She lays a towel and some fresh clothes over my bed, and she asks no questions while doing so. I'm thankful for her silence, and for her kindness. That's one thing I never expected from Black Widow. She is kind.
"If you need any help, I'll be right outside." She says quietly and I nod.
I walk into the bathroom, and for a moment I feel like I should just crawl into bed and pass out from exhaustion. Then I smell the blood again. I strip and step into the hot shower, turning it as hot as it goes. I want my skin scorched clean of this.
I let my head fall towards the ground. The water is pink as the red dust washes off of me. I rinse myself with soap, scrubbing at my skin with a harsh sponge. I must clear a layer or two off. It stings, but I need to do it. I finish off by washing my hair, and then stepping back out into the steam filled bathroom.
I change quickly, feeling more awake than before, and definitely less covered in filth. I slowly walk back out into the living room, knowing they'll all be waiting for me. I see them all sitting in the main living area on the couches, silent, as a fire burns in the background. Tony stand when he sees me and they all turn to look at me.
Tony rushes over to me, looking flustered, and grabs my shoulders.
"Don't ever do that to me again, kid." He says, pulling me into him for a hug. I let a tear squeeze out as I hug him back, feeling safe again in his arms. They feel like home.
He leads me over to his seat on one of the armchairs and sits me down, before kneeling in front of me and placing a hand on my knee for comfort.
"What happened?" He asks softly.
I tell him. I keep it short and simple, and they all listen intently. I tell them about what happened at the lab, and the fake delivery men, and the horrible spot they brought me to, and what Mr. Connors said to me. I tell them I knew they were going to kill me after he left.
"How did you get away?" Tony asks.
I look down at my hands, white from the tension I'm holding in them. Blood is still crusted under my nails. My sin is following me.
"I killed them." I whisper, and the image of their lifeless figures appears back in my mind. I feel the tears coming immediately. I'm a murderer. "Oh my god, I killed them."
I stand, looking at everyone's concerned faces that seem to suffocate me instantly, and then I turn and run out the back door. I need air. I run until my sobs make me lose my breath and I stumble forward onto my knees, collapsing over and crying into my hands.
"No, no, no." I say, rubbing my hands against the grass to try and scrub the scent of blood that still seems to linger off of them.
Cap must have followed me out here, because he kneels down next to me and places a hand on my back.
"Please not now, Cap." I sob.
"Cassidy, come back inside. We should talk about what you're feeling. We all understand your pain; everyone has their first kill at some point." He says, but it only makes my heart break more. Those men had lives and families, they weren't just the first "kills" on my list.
"Oh, god." I sob, now hysterical.
"Cassidy, please. This wasn't your fault. There was nothing else you could have done, you did what you had to do. You did what any good soldier would have done." He adds and I finally lift my head to look up at him through swollen eyes.
"I'm not a soldier!" I shout and he flinches.
"I know, but I just meant-" He begins but honestly his blind optimism isn't helping me.
"Steve, please leave." I beg him and he shuts his mouth. He nods, stands, and walks back to the house. I sit up on my knees and fall backwards, letting my back be embraced by the soft grass.
I let all my tears out until they are reduced to a dull stream of tears, and a steady ache in my chest. Somebody else approaches.
Loki stands beside me, and then he cautiously sits beside me, bringing his knees up to his chest and looking up at the night sky.
"The stars look lovely tonight, don't they?" He comments in his cool and steady voice, and I turn my head from him to the sky.
He's right. They look like a million tiny diamonds in the sky. I never noticed them before. I've lived in the city all my life where you could barely see them. Out here, there's nothing to dull the stars. It's peaceful. It's magical.
"Of course, most of them are probably alien spaceships with their headlights set right on us. Still beautiful though, for a time." He adds, and to my surprise I laugh.
I didn't even notice I stopped crying. I don't know whether he was trying to make me feel better, or if he just naturally was able to, but he did. Loki comforted me.
I look over at him as he glances up at the sky with a sad smile. I wonder how many different worlds he's seeing that I've never been to.
Without really thinking about it, I reach out and grab his hand that rests in the glass. He looks over at me, startled by the contact, but he doesn't draw back as I intertwine my fingers around his. He lays back beside me, and we stay like that for awhile. Silent. Not needing words.
Sleep finds me.
I welcome it.