So darling, just you shut you...

By zacksjacket

20.2K 1.1K 627

I glance over at my friends sitting at the front of the class with Jack. I don't understand why they want me... More

So darling, just you shut your pretty mouth
Beautiful scars on critical veins
So, excuse my tantrum Can't you see I got my hands full?
Dear head, shut up I can't listen no more
You can't get in my head I hope you heard it clearly the first time
Therapy...You were never a friend to me And you can keep all your misery
There's a buzz in my head From all the things that you said
It's not easy making a name for yourself Where do you draw the line?
...always wear a coat But it's warm and it's heavy and we're trying to float
I know my reputation's on the line
I was just an only child of the universe And then I found you
God, show me what love feels like I've never felt it
I've had a lot to think about
If I open up my heart, I'm scared you're going to tear it all apart
Have a smoke, pour a drink Steal a kiss in the dark
I hide behind these words But I'm coming out
I created a monster, a hell within my head
Just hold my hand for a little while Misery never goes out of style
You know I'm stupid for you
The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done
I'm addicted to you
I've got more secrets than you'll ever know
1k reads
I know what you're thinking and those secrets that you keep
It's the same shit just a different day
I'm telling you the truthI mean this, I'm okay! (Trust me)
I got into Nirvana And smoking marijuana My first year in school
We're up so high They can't touch us now
'Cause the weight from all my guilt is all too much for me to carry
This is not where I belong You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
It all keeps adding up I think I'm cracking up
Well I'm a total wreck
Maybe you'll stop me from digging my own fucking grave
I'm sure as hell the happiest I've ever been
I pulled you closer, looked at you and said "Love, I think it is"
I'm drunk as fuck again No cells between my head
tell me everything that bothers you
But right now, I don't think, I don't think that I'm okay
But hey, for what it's worth I think you saved my life
With a knife that loves to feel How do you know how deep to go before it's real
This was no accident, this was a therapeutic chain of events
I would've married you in Vegas Had you given me the chance to say "I do"
And in the end I'll do it all again.
Apoligise
I don't wanna wake up when i'm dead

I was an ocean, lost in the open Nothing could take the pain away

449 30 16
By zacksjacket

Bring Me The Horizon throne

I was an ocean, lost in the open
Nothing could take the pain away

"You should really do pe." Jack said while stretching, "We just fuck around."

I look around to make sure nobody's listening in, "I can't get changed in the changing room and if I get changed in the bathroom it's just bait."

"Do it in what you're wearing." Alex looked over at our teacher Mrs Watson, I haven't participated in her class since freshman year, I've just sat watching everyone else do sport, "Watson won't wind she would probably be happy you're actually doing it for once."

"Why do you want me to do it so badly anyway?" I ask, Jack is in a group with Zack and Rian so it's not as if he's alone.

"We got to go in pairs and I don't want to pair with any of my old friends."

"Fine." I sigh, "You can ask."

"You're the best." Jack attaches his lips to mine and kissed me slowly and softly, when he pulled away he shouted, "Miss Alex is going to work with me!"

"What?" She said and Jack did a half jog over to her.

I look down at my phone and scroll down my instagram explore page.

"She said that's fine." I look up and Jack was standing in front of me with two tennis rackets and a tennis ball, "When she says we just gotta hit the ball to each other. It's easy."

"You could just sit here and kiss me." I offer and Jack just forces a racket in my hand.

"I'll make out with you when we are playing a actual match because only the sporty kids actually play." Jack sat down on the bench next to me and put his head on my shoulder, I wrap my arm around him keeping him close, "You know we are meant to do stretches right?"

"I don't care." Quite a few people in class keep sneaking glances over towards us, "People are looking at us."

"So?"

"So I think you should kiss me again." Jack takes his head off my shoulder, smiles at me before kissing me for a second, it was only really a second but when we broke away people was staring, Rian was also clapping stupidly loud while Zack attempted to shut him up only bringing more attention to it, "Shouldn't you two be stretching

"Shouldn't you?" Zack said.

"If they carry on at least of them will be." Rian attempted to hold back laughs.

"If that's a anal joke then that's a good one." Jack put his head back on my shoulder, "And if it's not I'm not sure what you was going for."

"It was about butt sex."

"Our butt sex is none of your business." Jack shouts before whispering to me, "Do they even know you're a virgin?"

"Somewhat." I whisper back, "They knew I was but they probably assumed we fucked by now."

"You're so innocent."

"My search history says otherwise."

"Okay everyone!" Mrs Watson shouts over the talking, "Get in pairs and hit a ball to and from each other."

"What's the point of this?" I ask Jack as everyone's goes to collect the equipment they needed.

"No clue." Me and Jack stood a few feet apart and he hit the ball in my direction, I attempted to hit back but completely missed and instead it bounced off behind me, "You need to get that."

"You hit it."

"Hey!" I shouted at Kellin who was standing near by, "Give me your ball."

"Okay." Kellin threw his ball that I caught.

"Alex you can't just make people do stuff because they are scared of you." Jack attempted to look angry at me but then realised it's not working, "Theirs a ball over by the supply closet."

"You're hot when you try to be angry."

"You're hot all the time."

"Don't lie." Me and Jack keep hitting the ball, "You've seen me at my worse and I'm definitely not hot then."

"Was this weekend your worse?"

"Close to it." I shrug hitting the ball harder than I intended so it bounced past Jack and into the middle of the hall, Jack chased after it before doing a half jog back to me apologising to everyone who's way he got in, "You're cute when you do that."

"What apologise?" Jack asked throwing re ball to me to give me a chance to serve.

"Yeah."

"You should try it sometime."

"I apologise if I do something wrong." I pout before serving the ball hitting it right towards Jack, I expected him to hit it back but instead he completely missed the ball and it hit him right in the head, "Jack! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Jack laughed holding his hand to his head.

"I'm taking you to the nurse." I insist, "Miss I'm taking Jack to medical."

Mrs Watson looks at me and then looks at Jack, "Okay."

"Alex I'm fine."

"Head injury's are dangerous. I would know I've gave a few." I grabbed Jack's wrist and pulled him out the hall, "Let's get your stuff."

"Alex seriously I'm fine." I ignore Jack and instead pull him into the changing rooms, "Alex I didn't hit the ball on purpose because I wanted to talk to you privately."

"About what?" I ask sitting down on the bench that lined all the walls, Jack sat on my lap facing me and bites on my lip, "Just because you're adorable and sexy don't mean I'm going to let you off going medical once we are done."

"About what you said Sunday." Jack kisses me against and I know it's to make me talk but right now I don't care, I'm happy with him on my lap, "Did you really mean it when you said you don't want to get better?"

"If I answer this would you go medical and talk after?" I ask.

"Yes."

"Well then yes." I kiss Jack this time distracting him from what I said, "I don't want to lie to you but I feel like I'm never going to get better so I don't care about trying anymore. I don't want to live so why would I try?"

"For me?"

I don't want to say yes to that. I don't want to get Jack's hopes up. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to drag myself out the hole I've fallen into and if I tell Jack I will for him and I'm unable to it would only hurt him. He might think I didn't try. He might think he wasn't good enough. It's unfair to him.

"Let's talk about this after you go Nurse."

"So that's a maybe?"

"Maybe."

Authors note

I really liked this chapter I found it kinda cute.

Anyway tell me things you do and don't like about this book. Stuff like that. I'm sleepy and gonna go back to sleep.

Hugs, kisses and peace ✌🏻

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