Lily didn't call me. I figured everything was fine; didn't stress it too much. Halfway through the school day I got a text confirming she was fine – for lack of a better term – and that she and Nick had fallen asleep and had decided to skip school to talk more. I was hopeful for both of my friends. Because I wanted them to really get everything out and rebuild some kind of relationship, I didn't mind sitting at the lunch table alone. Fox Evans and his nosey self, however, seemed to mind.
"Hey. Where're Nick and Lily?" he asked, running a hand through his hair before folding his arms against the table and leaning in. My internal organs were doing acrobatic stunts at the sound of his voice. I fought the urge to blush and hide my face in shame. Deciding to take Lily's advice, I opted for the friendly route. I loved spending time with him; I figured it'd be easy enough. I'd just have to stop letting him phase me, and I'd have to forget that kiss.
"They skipped together," I told him simply. "They're talking more about some things."
"How do you know this and I don't?" he asked, arching a brow.
"People trust me more, I guess," I smirked, tapping my yogurt with a plastic spoon.
"Yeah," he laughed, "Okay, Em."
"I don't blame them," I shrugged, taking a spoonful of raspberry-flavored goodness into my mouth.
"Tell me more," he prodded, watching me intently. "What exactly are they talking about?"
"I'd love to," I said indifferently, "but it's their secret to tell, not mine." Fox stared at me for a long time with his classic, unreadable expression. Then he slowly and understandably nodded.
"You're right, Em," he said. "Lily would be proud to know you can keep a secret. So what's up?" That I did not expect. What's up? This "friend" business seems easy enough.
"Um... not much, just eating lunch," I smiled, gesturing to the desolate table before us.
"I see," he nodded with a similar, awkward smile.
"Hey Fox?" I asked quietly, leaning forward a bit after eating another spoonful.
"Yeah?" he whispered back.
"Why aren't you with your friends right now?"
"Who says I'm not?" he responded naturally. Not even Justin could wipe the grin off my face in that moment.
"We're friends, huh? You sure you wanna enter dangerous territory, Fox?" I teased – I don't know what possessed me to initiate such flirtatious comments.
"I'm pretty sure I got it, Em, but can you handle it?" he smirked back.
"Let's just say I'm 'pretty sure' I can handle it," I said before ingesting the last of my yogurt.
"Okay there, champ, we'll see," he laughed, getting up from the table, "I'll see you later, friend."
"'Kay, friend."
Mentally, I patted myself on the back for keeping my cool. I was confident I was becoming a pretty good liar around Fox – hiding my feelings didn't seem too difficult.
***
I cautiously made my way to the RCC on a bright January afternoon after school. The forecast was showing more storms coming in, and with all the snow and ice still on the ground I was anticipating school cancellations galore. Shaking at the sudden temperature change, I took off my scarf and coat and went to greet Nina.
"Hey you – where you going?" I asked as she picked up her bag and slipped some black gloves on.
"Ultrasound," she said, patting her visible bump. There was a hint of nervousness in her chuckle.
"Oh wow," I smiled, "Would you mind if I came with?"
She pondered the idea. "Who will stay here?"
Ironically, Fox strolled in through the door. Snowflakes were melting in his spiked hair, loosening the gel's bonds.
"I'm pretty sure he man the house for an hour," I shrugged.
"Talking smack, friend?" he called from the lobby, sensing he was the topic of conversation.
"Actually, she was speaking in your behalf," Nina cut in, hooking her arm around mine and leading me to the back door exit. "We're going to my ultrasound, so you're in charge. If anything goes wrong, call me. If anything goes really wrong, call the cops and then call me. Got it?"
He saluted her with a stern face before grinning sexily and hopping over the counter. I never heard him hit the ground, though.
"Off the counter!" Nina yelled, opening the door. We heard a thud and laughed as we walked to her silver Corolla. It was a short drive to the hospital, and we only waited twenty minutes before a nurse came in and got us ready. The doctor, a stout but friendly-looking woman came in with her clipboard and lab coat of authority.
"Hello, Nina," Dr. Mason greeted, "and you are?"
"This is a family friend," Nina introduced.
"Emery," I offered, shaking the doctor's hand.
"How are we today? How's mommy feeling?" she asked, turning on the machines and lifting Nina's shirt to expose her big, tan belly.
"Mommy's good, and the baby seems to like to dance," Nina laughed.
"Do you place a lot of music?" Dr. Mason asked with interest, finding a tube of gel and popping the cap.
"With or without music, the baby does the Bachata night and day," she continued with nervous chuckles, "Definitely Latino blood."
"Is Daddy a Latino?" Dr. Mason asked, smiling as she placed the cold gel on Nina's stomach and started searching for the baby on the screen. Nina drew a sharp breath and adjusted to the cold cream before looking worriedly at the monitor herself.
"There's the head," Dr. Mason indicated with a grin, "and those are the little energetic legs right there. Hear that? That's the heartbeat; he's definitely a strong one," she continued as we listened to a muffled pounding sound from the machine.
"He?" Nina asked with wide eyes.
"Oh, I'm sorry! Did you want it to be a surprise?" Dr. Mason apologized.
"No, no surprises. I just, it's so much more real now," Nina admitted sheepishly. "It's not an it anymore, it's a he."
"Congratulations, Nina, your son should be dancing his way out around May second," Dr. Mason concluded, shaking both of our hands, "Schedule another checkup and I'll be seeing you soon, love. I'll go print the pictures out for you." Nina's eyes grew glossy as she smiled and squeezed my hand. She didn't take her eyes off the monitor, even after it shut off.
"Nina..." I started, thinking back to the doctor's unanswered question. "I know it's not my place to ask, but–" She looked over at me with her worried, dark brown eyes and I paused. She feared my question; she knew what I was going to ask. "Where's the father?" She gulped, and looked down at her stomach. When she stayed quiet I asked another question. "Why are you doing this on your own?"
"Because," she smiled sadly.
"Because?"
"Because the father is better off without me. He got a promotion and I don't want him stuck here with me because of some feeling of obligation," she managed, wiping a stray tear from the corner of her eye and sitting up. "I can handle this on my own, Emery, don't worry about me."
"You deserve more, Nina."
"No I don't," she chuckled sardonically. "The baby does, definitely, but I chose this and I have to live with that. I'm going to be fine." She was so assuring with her words, yet I wasn't convinced.
"Do you love him?" I asked, referring to the mysterious father.
"Who?" She started cleaning her stomach.
"The father," I stated. "Was he a boyfriend? Or a friend or...?" She gave me a strange look. "Nina I'm not trying to insult you, with these questions, I promise. I'm just trying to help you."
"I know, Emery, I know you just want to help but I really am okay," she assured me again. "He was a really good man, but I let him go and he hasn't come back. I'm not going to trap him with me and the baby. He's no longer in my life, and I've accepted it." She pulled her shirt back over her bump. We left the room and walked down the long hallway of bland-colored walls and boring carpet to the lobby where she scheduled another appointment.
All the while, I couldn't help but think about the last time I saw her with a guy. The only consistent people in her life were those are the Red Cross Center and her gym. She would've told me about a boyfriend or mentioned someone she was seeing. She was scared and alone. No matter how much she wanted people to think otherwise, I could tell she was dealing with some serious regret.
"Come on, Em!" she called, "We've gotta get you to work. Thank you so much for coming with me, pumpkin."
***
Holly was as glad to see me as I was to see her. Her blonde curls seemed longer, and she her two front teeth had come in fully. She looked as adorable as ever, and she'd grown twice as energetic. She grabbed my finger and pulled me over to play with the colorful clay laid out on the table. She grabbed the pinks and purples and started squishing them together. I grabbed green, yellow, and red and tried to assemble a flower.
"I like yours, Emmy," she said after we spent a few minutes working.
"I like yours too," I told her. "What did you make?"
"Butterfry," she said matter-of-factly.
"Very nice," I laughed.
"Your dog very nice too," she grinned.
I looked down at my supposed plant and squinted, trying to picture a dog. Before I could ponder too long she smashed her "butterfry" on my "dog" and squeezed all the clay together.
"No more," she shrugged.
"Guess not."
She grabbed my finger again and ran to the reading station, where she pulled out all the princess books she could find. I was to read them all to her. She listened intently as I read countless accounts of happily-ever-after to her. A couple other kids huddled around and pretty soon I had the entire ground of toddlers listening to the stories and nodding off the sleep. By the end of the eighth book the last munchkin had drifted off to sleep and the other adults silently applauded my job well done.
"You drugged all the kids," Fox commented with disapproval, shaking his head as he leaned against the wide doorframe of the playroom with his arms crossed.
"Don't judge my methods," I replied, leaning on the opposite side of the doorway.
He smirked. "How was the ultrasound? Nina came back and I could've sworn she was ready to cry her whole weight in tears."
I winced. "Well, she's having a boy."
"She's scared?" he asked quietly.
"Oh, absolutely. She tries to hide it, but nobody is that strong," I sighed. "The doctor brought up the father, and that subject quickly passed by. But I could tell it bothered her, and so I brought it back up and she froze up."
"And you call me nosey," he murmured.
I disregarded that statement. "She didn't have too much time for men in her life, she was always at the RCC. And she basically admitted that she let him go, 'cause he got some big promotion and she didn't want to hold him back or, and I quote, 'trap him' with her and the baby."
"Wow," Fox managed, narrowing his eyes. "Why do women do that? Make decisions that they think are best for everyone?"
"Why do men do that?" I countered, "Just give up and leave? Make women believe they've moved on and make them feel completely unwanted?"
A sly smile crept onto his face as he shook his head again and kicked off the doorframe. He went over to the pile of munchkins and gently lifted Holly. She woke up briefly before nestling into his neck and dropping her chubby little arms in sleepy defeat. "You're sure she didn't have some kind of guy friends? She didn't go out on dates?"
"Pretty sure," I nodded.
He narrowed his eyes and bit his lip for a moment. "Do you think she had anything going on with someone from the center?"
"Unless you or I got her pregnant, I don't thin–"
"Carlos Menendez," Fox interrupted. I gasped at the idea and how much sense it made.
"Oh... my God..." I ran a hand through my hair and started piecing things together.
"Yeah," he nodded, readjusting Holly on his shoulder. "Knowing you and your mediator ways, you'll probably go and try to talk to him, huh?"
"I really shouldn't... but you know me too well, friend," I said, a bit unsure of what I was going to do or how. "I don't know where he lives."
"Not yet, you don't," he said, heading for the door.
"What?"
"Goodnight, friend," he chuckled. His ability to shut me up with a few simple words had me powerless.