.EMERY'S POV.
I fidgeted against the heated leather seat as the car came to a slow halt. Biting my lip, which by no was numb from all my nibbling, I looked out the window. The majority of the lights were on downstairs. Not good.
"You okay?" Fox asked over the hum of the heater.
"Great," I nodded enthusiastically.
From the corner of my eye I thought I saw his hand inch for mine, but his hand remained in his lap. No, Emery. He's not that kinda guy. You need to get off cloud 9 and stop thinking you're seeing things you only want to see.
As Fox and I sat their awkwardly, I was ready to do one of two things: one, throw myself at him and kiss him like in all those sappy romantic movies... or two, reach for the door handle and promptly exit the vehicle. Unfortunately, I lacked the courage to do either. It'd been a few days since our mistletoe incident... and nothing had happened. Nothing. Nil. Nada. Which completely sucked – because I really, really, really liked that kiss. I had come to terms with the fact that I really liked him.
Maybe I'm just not worth it. Maybe I turned him off! Maybe I'm just a horrible kisser, or I had bad breath... or both.
We'd visited the hospital every day since then, and Clara refused to talk about anything other than my nonexistent relationship. And destiny. And fate. The little romantic. Fox and I had so much time on our hands, yet not once did he make a move. What did I do?
And just like that the 'what if's and 'maybe's were beginning their hourly raid on my brain. Fox cleared his throat, unknowingly snapping me back to reality.
"So, what are you doing tonight?" he asked, turning to look at me innocently. The street lamp illuminated his face perfectly; made his eyes look even more mysterious and sexy. His hair looked whiter than usual, spiked and hovering over his face. His lips, however, were drawing my attention as they were slightly parted. They were sending the more tempting invitation, and all I was dying to do was RSVP.
I looked down at my hands, which were folded tightly in my lap.
"Um, whatever my parents are doing," I shrugged, which is arguing and yelling at each other... and essentially rotting their marriage to the core. "Probably just go to one of their friend's parties."
He nodded. I hated that he was completely unreadable.
"What about you?" I offered, leaning a little closer like the pathetic optimist I was.
"Just partying," he said nonchalantly.
"I figured," I smirked. "With Nick?"
"Nah, Nick's in Colorado with his parents."
"Oh.." I said unintelligibly.
"Yeah, I guess he wanted a change of scenery since the whole Lily fiasco." Right, right, I thought, Lily went away, too. So in denial, I don't understand.
"Right," I nodded. My hopes were decreasing and my level of disappointment was on the rise simultaneously. "Well um, Happy New Year, in advance," I said awkwardly, "Don't get too wasted."
Fox winced at my comment. "Yeah, um, I'll try." I closed my eyes to lessen the virtual blow of the car door popping open.
"Hey Em?" he said hesitantly.
"Yeah?" I asked, turning around a little too eagerly. Can you say whiplash?
"Happy early New Year," he murmured, "too." I nodded, flipping my bangs out of my eyes as I slipped out of the car. I pushed through the front door, and turned in time to see his car disappear down the street.
"Epic fail," I muttered taking my shoes off and throwing them carelessly beside the coat rack. The yelling was impossible to shut out, yet I disregarded it as best I could. A got up to my room; changed into my pajamas; washed my face. Crawling into bed, I sighed heavily and stared at the ceiling.
"Why can't I make the plans for once! Don't I deserve to do what I want every now and then!" my mom yelled rather than inquired.
"It would help if I saw you every now and then, honey!" Dad barked. "For all I know, you do whatever the hell you please every damn day!"
"If you think of me so highly, I might as well humor you!"
"Great! It all works out! We can both be happy!"
I heard the door slam, followed by the clanking of glass. The TV came on, blaring. So, Mom left for the night and Dad's drinking. I'm in bed at 8 o'clock, staring at the ceiling. The holiday spirit is really working magic this year, huh?
I turned to my side and stared at my phone. I reached over and held it in my left hand, weighing my options very, very thoroughly.
Screw it.
***
.FOX'S POV.
"Fuck it," I muttered, folding the sleeves of a simple black dress shirt. My voice echoed. It freaking echoed.
All alone on New Year's Eve... going to a stupid party where I can't drink; where drunk girls will be coming at me left and right; where the smell of smoke and sweat will be unbearable.
My phone started buzzing, and I carelessly accepted the call.
"Yeah?"
"Um, hi," the girl on the other end responded shyly. Emery?
"Emery?"
"Uh, yeah, hey," she laughed sheepishly.
"What's up?" I asked. "Something wrong?" Silence. "Hello?" I asked into the receiver.
Shit.
"Can I go to that party with you?" What? Had I heard her correctly?
"What's the matter? Something go wrong with your plans?" I questioned, standing up and heading for the kitchen counter to get my keys.
"Yeah, you could say that," she muttered.
"Well um, we don't have to party," I said, opening the garage.
"No, no I kind of want to. I'm sick of sitting at home all the time and never going to parties with kids my own age."
"Okay, you gonna be ready in half an hour?" I asked, heading for the garage.
"Um, gimme forty-five?" She sounded shy again.
"Alright."
"Thanks, Fox," I heard her say before she hung up. From the tone in her voice I could tell I was doing her a big favor. I didn't know what to say.
***
I leaned over and pushed the passenger door open as I watched Emery secure the hood of her pullover and speed walk through the snow toward the car. She looked very wobbly. She slid in, covered in snowflakes, and closed the door. I noticed her heels, and made a connection with her walk.
She looked grateful as I pressed on the gas.
"Hi," I offered.
"Hey." Her voice was incredibly soft. I looked over at her, noting her dark grey hoodie and what looked like a white skirt, which had scrunched up over her thighs as she sat.
"Um, nice outfit," I commented awkwardly. I think she noticed the questioning sarcasm.
"Shut up," she laughed, "I didn't wanna ruin my hair."
"Oh?"
To prove a point she pulled her arms out of the sleeves and shimmied out of her hoodie. She gently slid it over her hair, which was curled and slightly disheveled from the trauma of the pullover. I quickly averted my gaze back to the highway as she turned and placed the sweater in the backseat of the car. Let's just say her neckline was lower than I had ever seen it before.
"Did I overdo it?" she asked in a nervous tone, fixing her hair and adjusting her dark blue sequin top. There was a red light, so I stopped and turned. I can't just ignore her question. No guy in his right mind would.
"Uhh, yeah," I shrugged.
"Uhh, yeah?" she questioned.
"Somebody's fishing for compliments," I smirked, enjoying the self-conscious and annoyed look on her face.
"I'm just kidding, Em," I reassured her by petting her head. My fingers laced through her soft hair and then grazed her warm neck. Her eyes seemed glazed, which I assumed was just an illusion from the streetlights.
"You look beautiful," I said softly. "Now I'm gonna have to chaperone all night, thanks Em."
She blinked for the first time in what seemed like hours. Opening her mouth to speak, she moved closer. What is she... "The light's green," she whispered finally.
I pulled away and we both smiled sheepishly, though I'm sure we'd never admit it. That's the way she's gonna play it? By the time we got to the house, her smile was replaced with a look of awe.
"What?" I asked, parking the car and looking over at her.
"I don't know if I can do this," she gulped. She seemed very unsure of herself, like a lost puppy.
"If anyone can, it's you, Em," I smirked. "You're smarter than most of the girls in there, and you look just as good, if not better than them."
The look on her face made me laugh. "Yeah, okay, Fox. You have your laughs while I go throw up by the rose bushes," she smirked.
"I am completely serious," I deadpanned. "You don't have anything to worry about. Especially cause you're here with me. C'mon now," I joked. Shit. Too late, I realized she'd probably take the negative route in analyzing what I had said, and out of fear of more rumors she'd ask to go home.
She surprised me, though. She kept doing that. She opened the door and slid out; making sure her skirt wasn't wrinkled before closing the door. I got out and locked the car.
"It started, what, two hours ago?" she inquired as we walked up to the door. The bass was turned up all the way, I assumed, because I could feel it beneath my feet. I nodded and watched as she licked her lips.
I decided to rip the band-aid off as quickly as possible so Emery could get over the sting. I opened the door and stepped in, grabbing her hand and pulling her with me. Her grip was surprisingly firm, but it loosened as some people came up and greeted us with surprisingly sincere smiles.
"Thirsty?" I asked her, assuming she didn't want to dance yet, if not at all.
"Um, yeah," she replied indifferently. I got us two cans of Sprite and poured them into plastic cups.
"Just Sprite, right?" she asked shyly, peering up at me with those brown eyes.
"Drink it and see," I shrugged, laughing and clinking my cup with hers when she narrowed her eyes skeptically.
"You know what I just realized?" she asked as we sat on the soft leather couch and stared at the wide screen above the crackling fireplace.
"That this isn't nearly as bad as you thought?" I guessed.
She smiled. "No," she laughed and shook her head. "It's really not, actually. But that's not what I realized."
"What did you realize?"
"Who's watching my favorite rug rat?" I laughed. Typical Em, always thinking of everyone else.
"Holly's in Paris, actually."
"Paris?"
"Yep, Mil decided to take her to France. She wanted to open a new fashion label," I said, staring at the bubbles in my sprite.
"Why does Holly have to go?" Emery smirked, "They bonding or something?"
"Oh yeah, child labor is the latest way to connect with your mom," I sighed. "Holly's designing it all."
"What? That's crazy," Emery argued.
I put my hands up in surrender, "It wasn't my choice. The kid loves to color people's pants."
Emery laughed, thinking back on the memory. Her laugh was contagious. She looked at me, the amusement in her eyes merged with a solemn look. I wanted nothing more than to know what she was thinking in that moment.
"So, you're all by yourself? No siblings, parents, maids?" she asked, looking around.
"It's not the first time," I shrugged. "You get used to it."
"Is that why you party?" she asked, "To be around people?"
"Not necessarily. I don't like most of these people," I admitted with a grin.
"To get with people, then?" she smirked. Ouch. So this is what she thinks of me. What everyone else thinks of me.
"Why'd you call me, Em?" I countered calmly. She clenched her jaw. "I don't have a problem with you being here, I'm just a nosey man whore."
She winced. "I didn't mean it like that, Fox."
"No, you did. But it's ok," I told her. It was true. That's why she doesn't give a shit about me. She's made her point of view clear, and I keep thinking it'll change.
"I called you because I can't take it in my house," she whispered, staring into her cup. I was surprised I could hear her over the music and the people.
"What do you mean?"
"My parents fight all the time. I'm so sick of it, sick of their voices. It's like I don't matter anymore," she shrugged. "All that they care about is talking more shit about the other." She sounded like she had given up and accepted the circumstances and environment she lived in. I knew that tone all too well; I'd mastered it.
"That sucks," I blurted. "I mean, I've been through that."
"Yeah?" She locked her eyes with mine.
"My parents fought constantly – whenever my dad found the time to be home," I told her, tracing the rim of the cup with my finger. "And it was like that for a really long time until–"
"Until what?" she prodded. I didn't want to tell her the rest. "Fox, what happened?"
"My mom filed for divorce," I told her, instantly regretting it. She looked heartbroken.
"Oh." Her voice was shaky; her eyes watery. Shit, I said the wrong thing.
"Honestly, I thought it was horrible," I said soothingly putting my arm around her. "I even cried," I smirked. That got her attention. "But don't tell anyone that. After they got a divorce, I realized they were way happier. And it was great, not having them yell at each other every day and have nothing by horrible things to say."
She looked up at me. If I lowered my head, we'd be doing the same thing we'd been doing on Christmas – minus the excuse of being under the mistletoe.
"Do you think it's possible to marry someone, and stay in love with them for the rest of your life?" she murmured.
"Sometimes, I doubt it," I said truthfully, "But everyone's different."
And there she went, staring at me like that again and thinking things I wish I knew. It was really hard holding back. Kiss her, or stop thinking about it. Just as I had made my decision, opposing the latter and leaning towards the former, she averted her gaze and got up from the couch.
Smart girl.
***
.EMERY'S POV.
So close! The way he was looking at me I could've sworn he was about to... ugh! This boy was driving me crazy. Maybe I'm just overemotional and need a drink. I could go for a little something to wake me up.
I wandered into the kitchen and found an unopened miniature bottle of vodka. With Sprite? I questioned, but popped it open and poured it in anyway. I looked around making sure nobody was giving me odd looks before turning around and heading back for the couch. Only Fox wasn't there.
"Where'd you go?" he asked, returning and sitting down beside me.
"Refill," I muttered, taking a big gulp and trying not to squint.
"Oh yeah? I can smell it from here," he said, shaking his head. "What did you do?"
I stood up and walked over to the fireplace. He followed. "You know what I did," I said, trying to play it off as I drank some more of the seemingly burning liquid. His glare burned holes into my skin as I looked around the room. There were actually guys noticing me. I blushed and looked back at Fox, who caught and held my gaze. He studied me for what seemed like hours. It could've been the New Year, or the year after that. I didn't know, and I didn't pay attention.
"Say something," I finally dared to say.
"Why are you doing this? You seemed so against it," he stated with narrow eyes. They searched mine, those lie detectors.
"I'm not driving home tonight," I shrugged, "I'm sick of my parents and the same boring schedule I call life, and I hate going home every day so while I'm here I figure, why not live it up?"
I chugged the rest of the cup down and Fox took the cup from me. Too late, I thought, it's empty. He took a step closer, and my heart dropped. I literally could've sworn I felt it fall, clinking against my ribs on its way down.
"You don't have to do this, it won't make anything better. If anything you'll hate yourself for it tomorrow."
"Well, I figure I can afford another regret or two," I smirked, not knowing myself what I was referring to as I noticed the room was getting a little hazy. 40% alcohol really takes a toll on a little blonde chick, lemme tell you.
"What do you regret, Emery?" he asked, very interested. Not kissing you when I've have billions of opportunities; being too scared to just completely fall like I want to so badly. I'm sure there's more, but nothing's really coming to mind.
"I don't wanna talk about regrets, Fox," I said, laughing it off. "It's a party, so let's party."
"Em, this isn't you. I'm not gonna bring you home drunk, believe it or not I'm not that type of guy anymore," he stated firmly. "I'm not gonna let you get yourself shitfaced."
"I told my parents I was sleeping over Lily's. If anything they won't even be home. Please, let's just party. I'll drink a little, dance a little," I pleaded. "Before I have to go back to my life."
His eyes said no. But his hand, running through his white-blonde hair, was considering my request. He never gave me a straight "no" or "okay", but before I knew it I was pulling him to the dance floor. I enjoyed the buzz, smiling with Fox and letting him twirl me. We switched partners and danced with a few random people. Thankfully I didn't get too fondled.
The countdown began, and I got another cup from this chick, Jezebel. It seemed just as potent as the vodka, but it had a fruity taste. I liked this one way more.
I remember how hot and sweaty the room got from all the dancing, and how warm my cheeks got. I remember Fox suggesting we leave several times before he finally just grabbed my arm and helped me to the car. I remember feeling far more dizzy as the cold air hit my skin and the cold leather seats grazed my thighs when I settled in. I remember my mouth opening, and words coming out before I had a chance to think them through.
***
.FOX'S POV.
She was wasted. Not too bad that she was vomiting and mumbling incoherently, but the laughs were there and the random statements were noticeable. I placed her heels by her hoodie in the backseat, having confiscated them when she'd become too wobbly in the knees.
"Oh my God," she beamed, leaning back, "I can't believe I'm spending the first day of the new year with Fox Evans."
"Yeah, me either," I muttered.
"Do you how many girls hate me right now? And think we're having wild sex in some random parking lot right now?" she giggled. "And I don't blame them. Like, you look really really good right now, so I can see why they'd think we were, like, gonna do it or something. I guess I look okay, too."
I smirked at that one. I should stop her before she says too much, but part of me is interested in what she'll say.
"Do I look okay?" she asked suddenly, pulling at her shirt. My eyes went wide as I glanced at the road instead of down her blouse.
"Yeah, Em," I said, clearing my throat. "You look good."
"Mmm," she shrugged. "It's probably 'cause my new pushup bra, it makes my boobs look perfect. Legit, like they just pop up and stuff. They're like hello, I'm Emery's long lost chest-"
I cut her off before I started laughing too hard. "Emery, is this your first time being drunk?" I asked.
"Pffft, no," she drawled, waving her hand.
"I think it is," I smirked.
"Yeah, well, maybe it is," she giggled. "But there's a first time for everything."
"I guess so."
"So many firsts recently," she laughed, smiling as she turned over and looked at me. "First kiss on Christmas Eve, first drink on New Year's Eve... I'm running out of firsts." First kiss?
"First hangover, coming up," I murmured as her eyes started to close.
"I still needa have sex, too," she sighed, smiling slightly, "and sneak into an R-rated movie."
I didn't know whether to laugh or to remain serious. She was fast asleep by the time I pulled up to her house, which was pitch-black. I didn't even know where she kept her key, or if she'd be okay by herself. So I drove past her house.