the knk members had finished their schedule and were now inside their van as their manager drove back to their dorms.
the recording had honestly been so fun and seungjun had enjoyed nearly every minute of it, nearly. but one thing that was on his mind was youjin.
youjin was acting strange today and seungjun knew it. something was up with youjin and the taller boy just had to find out what it was. besides the fact that seungjun had a crush on youjin, it was also a friendship or member thing. anyways the taller boy just needed to find out what was on youjin's mind.
as they stepped out of the van and watched as their manager drove away, seungjun kept his eyes on youjin. the way youjin acted was not his usual self and seungjun could easily tell. when youjin was upset he would try to act more cheerful so people wouldn't catch on, but it was exactly that forced smile and laugh that caught seungjun's attention.
"let's go now" jihun said as he walked towards the door of their apartment. everyone followed as they boarded the elevator. youjin was on the far left while seungjun was on the far right with heejun and inseong in between them. seungjun really wanted to make his way to youjin but he knew that youjin wouldn't open up that easily, especially in front of people.
youjin was just like that. he never liked it when he made people worry. he would always be there for others when they worried but he hated it when he was the reason why people were worried. that was why he usually kept to himself.
seungjun had soon realised that was because of his family. it had been around their debut, right after their first showcase. youjin's entire family had travelled to watch them live. it had been a heartwarming moment and one that made seungjun fall for youjin even more.
as soon as they had walked off the stage and youjin saw his mum, he had silently shed tears as he hugged her. the rest of the knk members watched a little shocked as the youjin they knew would never cry.
hearing a few screams from behind, youjin immediately wiped his tears away and plastered a smile as he greeted his younger siblings. the other members had then greeted their own parents while seungjun stood alone. his parents lived quite a distance away and seungjun hadn't wanted to bother them about it, his mother had also recently had surgery so seungjun had insisted that they rest and visit him another time.
just like that, seungjun had been standing for a few minutes before he felt a small but warm hand on his arm. looking down he saw a small woman that was youjin's mum.
smiling warmly she had asked where his parents were and seungjun had forced a smile saying they lived far and couldn't make it. mrs kim then gave seungjun a short hug before he pulled him towards where her husband and children were.
it had turned into an enjoyable time as they chatted and played with the children. after a while, youjin had gone to play with his siblings and seungjun was alone with mrs kim.
"our youjin", she had started, catching seungjun's attention, "he seems very uncaring and maybe even cold doesn't he?"
seungjun would be lying if he had never thought of youjin like that so he just nodded a little.
mrs kim chuckled a little before she continued, "living as the head of the family with several younger siblings makes you like that. i still remember that when our third child was born, both me and my husband were extremely busy, we barely had time to take care of our newborn let alone the two older children. that's why youjin is like that," she explained, "he automatically takes care of the people around him but he does it quietly".
clearing her throat a little, she continued "he's responsible and is actually very sensitive you know? he just hides it from everyone because he doesn't want us or anyone to worry about him. my youjin is a very sweet boy".
"please take care of him seungjun," she said with a warm smile as she took his hands into hers.
nodding slowly, "i will" seungjun replied.
so here they were now, seungjun keeping an extra eye on youjin just as he had promised. the five boys were in the lounge as they watched tv. it was nearing 11pm and one by one the boys had started to return to their rooms. although the schedule had been enjoyable it was no lie that the boys were extremely exhausted. from having to wake up at 5am for makeup and hair to long rehearsals and the actual filming.
seungjun had been hoping that the 3 other boys would leave so he would be able to talk to youjin alone but that didn't happen when the said boy got up with jihun as they headed to their shared room. soon enough heejun and inseong went to their respective rooms leaving seungjun alone.
sighing the boy turned the tv off before heading to his room. the tall boy turned and twisted in his bed for half and hour before he decided to get up and check on the boys, youjin in particular.
passing inseong's room, seungjun headed towards the room youjin was in but was stopped when he heard a noise coming from the living room. stopping in his tracks, seungjun craned his head to hear the noise again and he did. turning his head towards the pitch black living room, he couldn't see anything but he could certainly hear the sound of the floor creaking.
walking to the light switch, seungjun turned the lights on to see who it was.
"w-what are you doing?" seungjun whisper-shouted.
"i just wanted to have a little rest," youjin said as he sighed "turn the lights off, i don't want the others turning up too".
nodding, seungjun was about to turn the lights off but an idea popped up in his mind.
"my room?" he asked.
youjin's eyebrows quirked a little but he gave a short nod before getting up and following seungjun to his room but not before turning the lights off.
seungjun sat on the edge of his bed as he beckoned youjin to sit too. closing the door behind him, youjin sat about a metre away from the taller boy.
youjin was holding a beer in his hand and he offered it to seungjun who declined.
"you know i don't really like beer" seungjun said with a small smile.
nodding, youjin took another swig before unconsciously sighing again.
observing him, seungjun took this as a chance.
"youjin what's wrong?"
"nothing" youjin replied in a heartbeat.
"don't lie. it's written all over your face" seungjun had deadpanned.
"do you not trust me?" seungjun had asked as he looked down, afraid of the answer.
"no!" youjin had shouted "no...it's not that" he said much softer.
"it, it's just really hard to explain," youjin said and his face showed his struggle.
turning his whole body so he was facing youjin, seungjun reached out his long arms so that they were resting on youjin's shoulders.
"no, it isn't," seungjun said softly, "you don't want others to worry about you right?"
seungjun watched as youjin's eyes wavered and he continued, "you are always telling us to take care of ourselves and such but you never accept us when you need to be taken care of, you're always there for us when we are going through tough times but you never let us be there for you when you have a hard time".
"youjin, please, tell me. what's wrong?"
youjin watched as seungjun pleaded him with his eyes and even though his exterior stayed pretty much the same, he could feel all his insides melting from seungjun's sweet words and warm gaze.
"i-it's nothing much.... i've just been having some insecurities lately..." youjin replied with a soft voice and head down.
using his right hand, seungjun gently lifted youjin's chin so the boys were looking at each other, "everyone has insecurities youjin, it's natural so don't be ashamed".
youjin was thankful for the dim lighting in the room as his cheeks went on fire, 'you wouldn't have any park seungjun, you're perfect' he thought to himself.
and so like that, the two boys talked for an hour before they were both tired.
"you can sleep here tonight.... if you want" seungjun had said as he fiddled with his fingers.
contemplating for a while, youjin finally nodded before they both snuggled into seungjun's narrow bed. the two boys slept shoulder to shoulder and both could feel how the other's hand would brush against their own.
this was honestly driving them crazy and in the end, seungjun placed his hands on his stomach so that the butterflies in there would fly away. there was a moment of silence before youjin spoke.
"can, can i..."
seungjun waited for youjin to continue and hummed a little to tell him to continue.
"can i hold your hand?"
both boys were a blushing mess as soon as that question flew out of youjin's mouth. before seugnjun replied with a 'yes' his hand had already travelled back to where it was before and youjin had immediately grabbed his hand.
both boys smiled as they felt the warmth of each other's hands and they slowly fell asleep, happy that they were together.
*
the room was filled with hushed voices and laughter which made seungjun open his eyes. his eyes adjusted to the light before he saw three boys in front of his door. a low groan left his throat as he felt annoyed that he had been waken up by the three pranksters. he felt something stir next to him and turning his head to his left, seungjun saw youjin's beautiful face.
youjin was still in the midst of making sense of things and when he did, his cheeks resembled the rosy blush on seungjun's cheeks too. the three pranksters, now aware of youjin being awake quickly ran out of the room, happy that they had taken pictures.
as the giggles and shouts faded, seungjun and youjin just looked at each other as they smiled, their hands still holding onto each other.