I wonder if we will succeed. But the Nazareth told me it's going to be okay. Kailangan ko lang talagang magtiwala sa kaniya.
Nang sumunod na araw ay hinanda ko na ang sarili ko. I skipped class for this. Nasa rooftop ako kasama ni Nazareth. He was bored looking at me while chewing food. Pinanood niya akong palakad-lakad sa harapan niya.
I don't know if his plan would work. I was risking myself; I was risking my love for Neo. Kasi kung hindi ito magtatagumpay ay paniguradong lulugmok ako sa lupa.
But he said I just needed to keep my faith, and everything will go to its rightful places. Pero hindi ko talaga maiwasan na mag-isip ng negatibo. I had so many series of what-ifs in mind. Pero meron rin sa sulok ng utak ko na nagsasabing magtatagumpay akong makuha ang atensyon niya.
"Nahihilo ako sa 'yo, miss. Can you calm yourself down?" he snorted.
Tiningnan ko siya ng masama. "Then don't look at me."
Nagpatuloy ako sa ginagawa. Ngumuso siya pero hindi pa rin inaalis ang tingin sa 'kin. Humor was evident in his eyes like I was doing something stupid in front of him.
"You'll succeed on this, lady."
Huminto ako sa paggalaw at nilingon siya. Tumaas ang kilay niya nang magtama ang tingin namin. He playfully touched his lips using his candled fingers.
"How can you say so?" tanong ko.
"You don't trust me?"
Hindi ako nagsalita. Nakatitig lamang siya sa 'kin, waiting for me to answer his question. "Paano kung hindi pa rin niya ako mapansin?"
"Eh 'di hindi," he said bluntly without proving a point.
Muli ko siyang sinamaan nang tingin. He just chuckled because of my blast anger. "If he won't lay his eyes on you, then he lost a diamond."
Napakurap-kurap ako. His lips formed into a smile. Parang nagkabuhol-buhol ang kalamnam ko nang magtama ang aming mata. "Every girl in the world costs a diamond. Cannot easily reach, cannot easily touch."
He smiled sincerely. "You're a diamond, Hellary."
When I first laid my eyes on Nazareth, my heartbeat gone wild. And God knows that I am feeling it right now. Parang may humawak sa aking puso dahil sa sinabi niya. Na lahat ng babae ay isang diyamante. Na isa akong diyamante.
Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi ko. "Thank you."
And how he pronounced my name was like music to my ears.
Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi ko. "Thank you."
He respects girls very much. Nazareth was a man. He earned my respect, and I can say that he deserves to be loved. Hindi sa hindi deserve ng iba ang mahalin, and he deserves it because he respects girls. In this era, wala na masyadong lalaki sa mundo na halos lumuhod upang magbigay ng respeto sa mga babae. Some are just rude and objectifying us.
Maliban sa kaniya.
Time flies so fast. Break time na. My chest was pounding abnormally. Nanginginig ang kamay ko habang pinapaunod ko si Neo kasama ng mga kaibigan niya. They were all laughing because of something, including Neo. He was so handsome with his sports attire. Nawawala ang kaniyang mata kapag ngumingiti siya. Though mukha talaga siyang suplado kahit nakangiti.
Somehow, medyo gumaan ang pakiramdam ko dahil sa ngiti niya. Pero muling bumalik ang kaba ko dahil sa gagawin ko. Tumingala ako sa rooftop. I saw Nazareth smiling playfully while waving at me. Tila nang-aasar. Inirapan ko siya.
Hinanda ko na ang sarili ko. Papalapit na sila. Huminga ako nang malalim at binuga ang naipon na hangin.
Sa gitna ng nanginginig kong kamay at malakas na tibok ng puso, nilandas ko ang daan patungo sa kinaroroonan ni Neo. Their laughter made me more nervous. It was killing me entirely. Anytime my wobbly knees would pass out.
Nang makaharap ko si Neo ay tinitigan ko siya sa mata habang may kaunting luha. He was confused with my presence when he diverted his gaze at me.
Nanginig ang kamay ko nang malakas itong dumampi sa pisngi niya.
I closed my eyes tightly when my slap made a loud sound that stopped everyone from their business.
Ako lang ba, o para talagang huminto ang paligid na tila may dumaan na anghel?
Dahan-dahan akong dumilat. Ang bakas na ngiti ni Neo mula sa pinag-uusapan nila kanina ay biglang naglaho. Sa isang pitik, ang tawanan ng mga kaibigan niya'y biglang nawala kasabay ng hangin.
God, please don't punish me after this! I was just desperate. I promise, pagkatapos nito'y magro-rosaryo ako ng ilang beses!
"Ang kapal ng mukha mo lokohin ang kapatid ko! You slut!" I shouted, greeted teeth. Oh, dear God. "After tasting her, naghanap ka agad ng iba? How dare you! You're so disgusting!"
I saw how his face turned into something else. Ang kaninang maamo niyang mukha ay parang binudburan na ngayon ng galit. Namula ang mata niya habang nakaigting ang panga. His face was still sideways.
He slowly turned to me. Napasinghap ako sa isip-isip ko. Dahil bakat na bakat ang palad ko sa kaniyang pisngi.
Nang magkatinginan kaming dalawa, halos gumulong ang puso ko papuntang large intestine sa sobrang kaba. He was fucking mad, I could say. I did push his button. Sobrang galit! Kahit ang mga kaibigan niya'y gulat na gulat sa ginawa ko. Hindi sila makapaniwala na 'yong tinitingalang basketball player ng Elron High ay sinampal ng babae.
"What the fuck?"
Napaatras ako sa takot. Pero nanatili pa rin ako sa posturang matapang. I kept my head up. Not letting him affect me physically, but deep inside, I was shaking badly because of his anger. I was so scared to bits.
"What the fuck, your face!"
My hand was about to land on his face again, but he caught me. Mahigpit ang hawak niya rito. Napamura ako sa sakit. He tightened up his grip on my wrist with total anger on his face.
"I don't even know your fucking sister," he exploded. Nanliit ang kaniyang mata. "Or you're just making a scene to be noticed by me?"
Hindi ako nakapagsalita sa sinabi niya. Pilit kong tinatanggal ang kamay niya sa wrist ko. Pero sobrang higpit ng kamay niya na panigurado'y magi-iwan ng bakas.
"Bitiwan mo 'ko."
"Remember this day," matalim pa rin ang titig niya. "Mark your calendar. Because this day, you're busted, attention seeker."
Then he left me with my heart, shattered into pieces.