A/N Please listen this song while reading, it fits perfectly, especially for the first part. Enjoy!
A bag dropped on the floor and his legs started moving on their own, carrying Chanyeol to the roof terrace before he knew it. Three steps at a time, hand grazing over handhold in rush and he was there, pulling a heavy door and letting cold air in.
He didn't move further from the door once he saw his hopes came to life, wind pulling its fingers through fading silver hair and a bent figure with crossed arms resting on the wall. He was there, touchable, real and beautiful in his fragility, his mere appearance taking Chanyeol's breath away in a blink of an eye. Wearing long grey coat and beige scarf he looked like an actor in some sad, heartbreaking movie and it was even sadder to think that their lives were just that, making them leading roles as a tragic couple.
The captain seemer to be lost in his own world, staring at busy street below him, look in his eyes glassy and absent-minded and therefore he didn't notice the expected boy approaching him before he stopped right next to him.
"I hoped it was you." Chanyeol offered him a broken smile, and the glint in smaller's eyes was suddenly there again.
"Chanyeol." the words came along with a heartwarming smile, words soft like feathers, gentle, caressing Chanyeol and warming him up despite the coldness.
In love. So in love.
"You wanted to talk?" he composed himself. Baby steps, Chanyeol. Baby steps.
"Yes. It's been long enough..." Baekhyun wrapped his scarf around his milky white neck again, fighting against the wind.
Time they had spent apart created many thoughts on their minds that brought a distance along, whilst distance accompanied solitude. Not necessarily uncomfortable one. Solitude gave them ability to solve the puzzle they had created, and now that Baekhyun was silent beside him, looking for the right words to start, Chanyeol just appreciated it. He appreciated the chance he was given, to at least be next to him again.
"I'm sorry for being an idiot. Immature, selfish idiot." Baekhyun said turning towards Chanyeol and looking up at him.
He didn't turn away as he barely noticeably took in a deep breath.
"You told me about your father and you told me as soon as you caught up with me that's it's your sister, but I was still too selfish asking for you to like me back and do it effortlessly. I didn't think that maybe you had issues keeping you back. You are scared of loving because with loving comes leaving. I can... I can understand that better than anyone." little, crystal tears formed in his eyes, but he didn't want to take them off Chanyeol.
"You have every right to be mad at me and to push me away and find someone who deserves you more than I do."
Chanyeol stared at the smaller completely lost, in his words, in him, and how could he even think that I'm mad, how could he think that there is someone who deserves me more-
"But if you choose to forgive me, I swear there will never be anyone who will love you more than I do. I promise that this time, I will be the one to fix you."
Life flew back into Chanyeol's veins and he was awake. Alive.
"We can fix each other. It's a process but- It would be worth it." Baekhyun finished. His words marked beginning of something new, a proposal, a suggestion, a hope. He was ready to give in everything- risk it with all the insecurities and maybes and fears.
That's where Chanyeol's lips formed a smile, a wide, honest and happy one. I fucking love you smile and finally you understand smile.
"You are such an idiot for even thinking I could ever walk away from you."
It felt so natural when his palms cupped Baekhyun's cheeks after so, so long, and Baekhyun's hands responded, insecurely travelling to his waist.
"These past weeks without you were living hell, Baek. If you ever even dare do leave me again I swear I will go to ninth circle of hell if necessary to get you back. But what I regret the most is that you were never mine to begin with, so I'm gonna fix that first."
Baekhyun's eyes widened, his body trembling with cold.
"Byun Baekhyun, will you date me?
A radiant, blissful smile, eyes flickering with joy and heart fluttering.
"Yes."
Maybe more important things were happening somewhere to someone in the world. Someone got a child, someone lost a close person, someone set a world record in something.
But all of it was so irrelevant in that moment when Chanyeol's arms wrapped around Baekhyun's legs and lifted him up so now the shorter one could look at his eyes from above, hands resting on taller's shoulders.
Oh, how many words his eyes said.
"My Baekhyun." Chanyeol whispered, trying out how those words would sound on his lips.
"My Chanyeol." the latter's fingers went through his hair before he leaned down, his forehead against Chanyeol's and their noses lightly brushing.
They took their time to simply feel each other's presence, to inhale every bit of each other they had missed for so long. Baekhyun's lips first touched Chanyeol's cheekbone, parting and trailing down softly. By the time he reached Chanyeol's lips, the latter's patience was gone. His fingers dug deeper in Baekhyun's butt and his lips crushed against his, sucking in delicious moan Baekhyun let out, along with taste of blueberries and taste of Baekhyun.
It was a kiss that carried all the tension, all I miss yous, all the time spent apart and desire for one another.
"I won't" Chanyeol let him down the shorter boy could wrap his arms around his neck and stand on his tiptoes, "ever", his lips trailing down Baekhyun's silky neck and harshly removing his scarf, "let you go."
Every word came out like a breath.
Baekhyun pulled Chanyeol's head up by his hair, stopping him from kissing him and making him look in his eyes.
"Promise me that. Promise me that whatever happens next, you won't give up on me." Baekhyun's voice was shaky, like he could predict something bad coming their way. He desperately wanted to make sure they were on same page. He was still catching his breath while his heart was about to jump out of his chest. After all that time Chanyeol's kisses still had that effect on him, causing butterflies in his stomach and making his body shake in pleasure,desire and lust blooming inside him.
"I promise. No matter what, you will never get rid of me." Chanyeol grinned, leaning down just to peck him on the lips once more, holding his face gently. "Good?"
"Yeah." Baekhyun's lips tugged in a smile, taking Chanyeol's hand down to intertwine their fingers.
Wherever I go, please, don't give up on me.
------
"Those are not news. We've known that for weeks." Sehun mumbled with mouth full of gimbap, pointing his chopsticks at the couple sitting tightly next to each other on a sofa across him.
Chanyeol and Baekhyun decided it was finally time to tell the others about their relationship, so they called them to meet at their usual place after practice. But instead of suprised faces of their teammates, they were greeted by their smily expressions.
Baekhyun gulped, widening his eyes.
"How?"
"Well, thank this fellow here." his chopstick redirected at Luhan who gave them an apologetic grin.
"He caught you making out in the locker room. He appeared in front of us pale like he saw a ghost and he couldn't speak property for like 10 minutes." Kai said seriously, like it was some national secret.
"Baekhyun-hyung was shirtless." Luhan whispered.
"You've seen him shirtless before." Chanyeol said calmly. As much as Baekhyun was upset by the fact his teammates knew that they were hiding things from them, that's how calm Chanyeol was.
"Yeah, but never with legs around your waist and eating your face!" Luhan said upsetly, diving into his rice to get that image out of his head.
"Sorry about that, Luhan." Baekhyun apologized sincerely, still blushing.
"Sorry Lu, I just can't keep my hands off of him." Chanyeol grinned and pulled his boyfriend closer by his waist, pecking him on the lips.
"There are children here, boys. Behave." Junmyeon faked a warning tone, but Baekhyun could see his smirk popping up.
"Anyhow, we are glad you guys finally decided to stop acting like morons and get yourself together." Kris leaned back in his seat, eyeing them with a satisfied smile. "It was a torture to look at you both depressed on practices but not being able to do anything."
"It's actually wierd that none of you tried talking to us and pursuing us to make up and stuff." Chanyeol stated.
"We wanted you to sort it out yourselves. Getting involved would just cause problems." Minseok shrugged.
The others nodded, leaving Baekhyun impressed of how mature and clever their friends were. It was true, actually. If any of them approached him and tried convincing him to talk to Chanyeol, first he would freak out about the fact that they knew about him and Chanyeol, and then he would feel pressure and most probably do nothing.
Their time together as friends finally felt right. First time after Kyungsoo had passed away, it felt complete again, because a little by little emptiness in his heart was getting filled again. It could never be filled to the fullest, he knew that, but it was enough.
----
It was only 4,30 pm. when the boys parted, heading home for well deserved rest. Chanyeol and Baekhyun took the road together, hand im hand, walking by the Han river, a place that held special memories for them.
"Do you have anything important to do later?" Chanyeol asked, looking at Baekhyun who got lost in his thoughts, gazing at the distance.
"Hm? No, I don't think so. Why?"
"I've wanted you to meet someone." Chanyeol smiled, gently brushing strands of silver hair off Baekhyun's forehead.
"Oh." a realization escaped Baekhyun's lips. He already knew who that someone was. A person with a very special place in Chanyeol's heart.
"I think that it's time to tell you some things before you meet her officially." Chanyeol spoke calmly, but behind his voice there was long seeked determination. Baekhyun could tell it took Chanyeol a while to pick up the courage to bring that subject up, whatever it was.
"You know my sister Yoora is pregnant, right? She's the girl you saw with me that time in front of the hospital."
"Yes."
Chanyeol took a deep breath.
"Almost eight months ago, Yoora was raped by her abusive boyfriend." his breath was cut off, words scratching his troath as he spoke. It was so hard to say it.
"She had decided to save her virginity until marriage, but that guy just couldn't bare with it. I've always known what he's like, but she really loved him. Even though he's an idiot she still saw some good in him, and she hoped he'd change. But he hasn't, and that's what happened."
Baekhyun could feel Chanyeol's grip on his hand tighten while he was speaking, so he stopped and placed both of his hand atop of Chanyeol's. He looked up at him, thinking if that's how his face looked while he spoke about Kyungsoo. Like a mosaic, broken and put together out of thousands of different emotions.
Chanyeol's gaze was directed somewhere over the river, like he couldn't bring himself to look down at Baekhyun.
"He used to be on Hanseong's volleyball team as well. One day after practice, I waited until everyone else was gone but us. I just wanted an explanation. A confession, and a promise that he would take over his role as that kid's parent, at least financially. And you know what he did?" Chanyeol finally turned his gaze at Baekhyun, eyes filling with tears and anger. If Baekhyun was in that boy's place, he would've been terrified.
"He laughed at my face. He said that my sister was nothing more to him than a toy. My sister. My only relative beside my mum."
"That's when I snapped. You know what happened after. He ended up in hospital for weeks, I ended up transferring to Jungsan. And getting closer to you. That's one of the reasons I don't regret what I did." Chanyeol smiled weakly, thumb brushing against Baekhyun's cheek, like he wanted to convince himself that Baekhyun was real. Something it was hard for him to believe that something wonderful like Baekhyun could happen to him.
"The wierd thing is, it hurt me more than it hurt Yoora. At first, she was devastated, more because of the fact that a guy she loved did that to her than the fact she was pregnant. But she was never actually mad at him, or that baby. When she came to her senses again, after weeks she had spent locked in her bedroom, first thing she told me and mom was that she wants to keep the baby and raise it on her own. She was always a person with a strong spirit, but to do something like that, it's..." Chanyeol's voice trailed off, trembling.
"That is brave. I've been a coward my whole lame life, but my sister - she is brave."
A spark of sadness mixed with pride gleamed in his eyes. He was proud of his sister despite the pain and regret he felt for her lost youth.
"Why didn't you tell me that before? I could've been there for you." Baekhyun kept his voice low and confronting.
"Because you have no idea how hard it already was to see you suffering. I didn't want to put another weight on your shoulders. I know you easily relate to other people's pain. Then it would hurt both of us more, seeing each other suffer."
The only reply Chanyeol got was Baekhyun tiptoeing and grabbing his face, pressing their lips together in a slow, gentle and meaningful manner. It was nothing more than a simple touch of their lips, no heat or rush, but it was everything he ever needed.
" I want you to always rely on me." Baekhyun said, pulling away. "No matter what my personal problems are, I will never be too tired to share yours too. That's what love is. Sharing both good and bad." his eyes smiled at Chanyeol, carrying honesty and sincere love.
Chanyeol planted a kiss on his boyfriend's forehead and hugged him, pulling his head against his beating heart. He caressed his hair, slowly, brushing his thumb across the smaller's soft skin.
"Thank you." he whispered. "So much."
His voice vibrated in his chest while Baekhyun's head was pressed against it, sending shivers down his body.
There was only Chanyeol and him. Him and Chanyeol.
It felt right to Baekhyun. He was finally aware how deep that feeling living inside his heart was. Not only Chanyeol's presence. Not only his safe embrance and warmth, not only his lush lips and smiling eyes. It was everything. All of him. Every second spent with him, safety, happiness and love.
"Chanyeol, I-"
His words were interrupted by his phone buzzing in his back pocket, and he unwillingly moved away from Chanyeol to get the device out.
"It's my mom." he sighed. "I completely forgot."
Baekhyun answered the phone, saying yesses and confirmations in the phone.
"My parents are attending a wedding on Jeju island tomorrow. They're departing tonight so I have to be home to say goodbye." Baekhyun said with sorry eyes. "Can we delay this for later? Maybe you and Yoora can come over for dinner, since the house is going to be empty."
"Sounds like a plan." Chanyeol smiled. "I didn't know you can cook."
"I can't. But I'll figure it out, being smart and all." he said cockily, immediately thinking of Kyungsoo. He was totally gonna make him instruct him every single step.
"If my unborn nephew gets poinsoned because of you I'll push you off the bridge."
Baekhyun chuckled, taking Chanyeol's hand in his, swinging them together.
"But I'll walk you to the door first." Chanyeol decided after few moments. "I have to leave good impression."
"Where are all these manners coming from, Park Chanyeol?" Baekhyun teased, taking few steps ahead.
"You drive me to be a gentleman, Byun Baekhyun." Baekhyun's legs were not a match for Chanyeol's long ones, who caught up immediately anf grabbed Baekhyun by legs, lifting him up and throwing over his shoulder like a feather.
"Yah! Put- me- down!"
"Not a chance. I'm carrying you home." Chanyeol pinched his perky butt, and Baekhyun was glad that he wasn't facing the giant because he blushed like an idiot.
"I can walk on my own, Yeol."
"I know, but you won't."
It was pointless to argue Chanyeol, so Baekhyun let go and simply relaxed, leaning against Chanyeol's back.
The sun was fading down, the day was getting colder and everything was dreamy. Leaves drizzling on the wind, clouds molding shapes and transfusing colors of lava, violet and rosy pink twirled in Baekhyun's mind like a beautiful symphony.
Maybe on an ordinary day that scenery wouldn't touch him. Maybe he wouldn't even notice it, hurrying back home. But with Chanyeol, life was composed out of little moments and everyday beauty.
With Chanyeol, the colors were back and he wasn't a color blind anymore.
---
After Chanyeol had finally dropped him down and annoyed him for five minutes straight with kisses and just little longers, Baekhyun finally escaped his boyfriend's embrance, promising to see him again in two hours.
He closed the door behind him, kicking his sneakers off when his eyes met his mom's interested expression. She was leaned against the living room door frame, already dressed in comfortable airport clothes.
"Baekhyun?" her voice was questioning, and Baekhyun already knew what she wanted to know.
"Hi mum." he scratched the back of his head, grinning idiotically.
"What's his name?" she smiled, and it was a genuine smile, or a relieved one. After more than a year, she caught her son entering the house with a smile and blushing face. It was all she wanted to see. Even a little spark of happiness was enough for her, but what she saw was beyond her expectations. He was in love.
"Chanyeol. Park Chanyeol. My boyfriend." he said slowly, but with a dose of pride for calling Park Chanyeol his boyfriend.
"He looks like a very nice boy. And you look happy, Baekhyun." she stepped closer, caressing her son's hair just like she used to when he was a little boy, even though now he was taller than her.
All of a sudden, Baekhyun's arms wrapped around her, pulling her into a suffocating hug.
"Thank you, mum. Thank you."
The smile on Baekhyun's face was unerasable once his mum squeezed him back in response.
"I think dad will like him too." she smiled once they parted, wiping a single tear off her cheek.
"You get emotional over everything, mum." Baekhyun teased and laughed. "This is a good thing. And I think Kyungsoo would like him too."
He knew Kyungsoo does like him, because Chanyeol was the one to save Baekhyun. He was thankful, and now when she saw joy written all over Baekhyun's face, their mum was too.
"He definitely would."
----
"You sound cheerful."
"I've always been a cheerful person. Perky. Jolly. Delightful." With headphones on his head and an oversized pink sweater, barefoot Baekhyun tiptoed to reach the highest kitchen shelf in search for noodles.
The house was empty and hour later after he had followed his parents out, "carefully" listening to their instructions and his mother's warning not to make a mess out of their house and God forbid if you are planning on bringing your boyfriend over we've been through this, I know he's probably a nice boy and all but use protection-
"But you sound genuinely cheerful, not faking it like you usually do. I guess I have to thank Chanyeol for that."
"It's your fault, too." Baekhyun sipped the noodles into boiling water.
"I'm happy to hear that. You're not ill anymore, Baekhyun-hyung."
"I wouldn't call my grief for you an illness, Soo. But I guess I've learnt to live with it. I don't know what will happen when you leave again. I know it will hurt because I've gotten used to hearing your voice and advices every day, but I guess... I suppose I will handle it easier."
"You have Chanyeol now, too. You won't have to go through anything alone anymore."
"But I don't want you to think he's replaced you. No one will ever replace you."
"I know." Kyungsoo said softly.
For few moments, Baekhyun's thoughts tangled and untangled, while he absentmindedly mixed the noodles.
"But I've been thinking, Soo. What happens if I go to Harvard? I know he can't come along, his sister's pregnant and he's basically head of the house. I know he would never leave them alone. I don't mind distant relationship but what if he does? What if it becomes too difficult for both of us, what if he doesn't want me to go-"
"Baekhyun." Kyungsoo cut him off. "You know I've never wanted you to fall under anyone's influence, not even mine. I didn't want you to become a doctor just because of me, but now I can tell that you really want it. If that's your calling, then go for it. Chanyeol loves you. He will understand."
Baekhyun was silent for a while, following Kyungsoo's earlier instructions on making kimchi sauce. He was probably failing miserably.
"I guess you're right. After all, maybe I won't even have to worry if I don't get in. I'll just let things happen naturally."
Even though he was almost completely sure he would get in, he tried to push that tought away and enjoy the time he had left with Chanyeol.
During his conversations with Kyungsoo, sometimes both of them would go silent for a long time. He would keep headphones on, because the silence was comfortable. He enjoyed it just like when they were younger, laying on the grass together, sunk in their own thoughts.
"Soo?"
"Hm?"
"I'll have to let you go soon, right?"
There was silence again, but not as comfortable as before. This silence was full of tension that made them distant individuals again. Baekhyun sensed that his assumption was true, but he also knew his brother wouldn't admit it before the right time comes.
Instead of answering, Kyungsoo just laughed briefly and moved onto different subject.
"Chanyeol and Yoora will be here soon, so let's just cook those noodles now, hm?"
Swallowing a gulp in his troath, Baekhyun pushed another problem under a carpet.
"Yeah, let's do that."
---
A/N
Finally! There are 3816 words in this chapter and I'm exhausted, but I considered making two chapters out of this but the the next one wouldn't make sense.
You're welcome.