It was pretty late when we got back to Ryan’s house, after waiting for him to finish up at the arena, to stopping for ice cream on the way home. Not to mention, he still had to pack for leaving tomorrow. I sat on his bed, scrolling aimlessly through my phone until he was almost finished. I couldn’t hold back my yawns any longer, so I asked for a pair of PJ’s so I could get ready for bed. He tossed me a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.
I didn’t realize how exhausted I was until I looked at my reflection in the bathroom. The one thing that would make this perfect day even better was a good night’s sleep, especially since the radio interview was bright and early in the morning.
I finished up in the bathroom, and then we swapped places as Ryan went to get ready.
I was already in bed when he came out, and close to almost being asleep. I felt him slide under the covers, wrapping his arms around me.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered.
A smile crept upon my lips.
He kissed my cheek and made trail of kisses until he rolled me over to face him so he could kiss my lips. He shifted and his body was soon covering mine.
“Ryan,” I breathed against his kiss.
“Mmm?”
“I can’t…”
He stopped.
“Why not?” His voice was cold and harsh.
“It’s just… not the time,” I stammered.
He groaned, “When is it ever going to be the right time with you, Jen?”
Ryan rolled off of me and rubbed his hands over his face in frustration.
I could feel my muscles tense up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He threw his hands in the air. “Every time I try, you just shut me down!” He snapped.
“So, wait one minute,” I struggled to sit up. “You’re using me?”
“No! It’s just that it’s been 4 months, it’s just kind of expected!”
I swung my legs over the side of the bed and began to gather my things.
“What are you doing?” He asked.
“Sky diving,” I said sarcastically. “I’m leaving, obviously.”
I shut myself in the bathroom before he could say anymore, and I changed back into my clothes from the concert. I flew the door back open once I was finished and headed straight to the door, throwing his PJs at him on my way past. He got up and ran after me down the stairs, and stopped me at the front door.
He held onto the doorknob. “Jen, come on. Think about what you’re doing.”
“Okay, I’m thinking….” I folded my arms over my chest.
“And?”
“Take me home.” He knew better than to argue with me anymore. He dragged himself up the stairs to get the car keys.
The car ride was silent until we reached my house. By this time it was already the early hours of the morning.
“Don’t go,” he pleaded.
I hopped out of the car and turned around to look at him. His face was flashing with regret; I would feel sorry for him if I didn’t know any better.
“I think it’s best if we don’t see each other anymore,” I closed the car door before he had the chance to say anything else, and walked into my house.
I crept up the stairs, hoping I wouldn’t wake up my mother, and fell face first into my pillow. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to scream or cry. My body seemed to choose for me as warm tears started to roll down my face, causing the pillow to get moist. I sighed and let them fall; I was too tired to resist them right now.
__________________________
I was only asleep for a couple hours before my alarm went off. It sounded louder than usual this morning, which made it extra irritating.
I rolled out of bed, emotionless, and looked down; I was wearing the same clothes from the concert. I grab fresh clothes from my dresser and caught a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror.
Oh God, is that what I really look like?! My mascara was smudged underneath my eyes, my hair was a mess, and my eyes were still swollen and puffy from the crying. If I were to look at myself from someone else’s eyes, I would think I just spent all night out on the town, partying like it was nobody’s business. Yes, I looked like the definition of hung-over and I didn’t even have a drink.
I did my best to fix myself up, but I know Josh will be able to see right through me. I sighed; I really just want to do the interview before talking to Josh. This morning is all about the fans. I looked out the window, half expecting Josh to pull in my driveway to pick me up, but he still thought I was at Ryan’s. I made some toast so I could eat it on the way; I was still quiet because it was too early for my mom to be awake. I got in my car and drove to the radio station with the music blasting to block out the rest of the world.
I saw that Josh’s vehicle wasn’t in the parking lot yet, so I just sat in my car and waited for him. He pulled in not long after and got out of his car while catching my eye, I gave him a weak smile. A look of worry flashed over his face and he walked over to the passenger side of my car and hopped in.
“What did he do?” He said knowing exactly what was wrong.
“I really don’t want to talk about.” It’s better if I just blocked off all of my feeling so I could get through this interview without sounding like an emotional wreck.
“Jen, it’s me. You can talk about it,” his face was soft and full of worry.
“I’m just so mad!” I exclaimed, letting one of my emotions squeeze through the wall I built.
“Then scream. “
I looked at him confused.
“Scream, let it all out. You’ll feel better, I promise.”
I screamed into my hands and let my head rest there. I felt Josh’s hand on my back gently rubbing up and down.
“Feel better?”
“Mmhm.”
“Let’s get on our way then. You can talk to me whenever you’re ready.”
He met me at my side of the car and slung an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close.
Inside, we met the staff of the radio station and we were seated in the studio.
“And we’re back! Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson are joining us today! Hey guys,” Luke the host said with his booming radio voice.
“Hey, Luke,” Josh said.
“Hello!” I replied after.
“That was quite a surprise you made yesterday, Josh. It seems like the whole world is buzzing about the fact you are playing Peeta.”
He clenched his teeth into a nervous smile. “Oh, I don’t know about the whole world. That’s a lot of people.”
“It’s true. How do you two feel about this movie being called the new Twilight?”
I spoke up, “I think there’s nothing wrong with being compared to those movies. They were a huge hit, and have such a great fan base.”
Josh nodded his head, although the listeners could not see it.
“There’s also different ‘teams’ people are on, kind of like Twilight as well, isn’t there?”
“Yeah, there’s Team Peeta, and Team Gale who is going to be played by Liam Hemsworth,” Josh said.
“We took a poll on our website about which team our listeners were on and Josh, your character won by 10%. So it’s a pretty close race.”
“Definitely! It’s funny, because a lot of my friends before I was casted as Peeta were like ‘Team Gale, Peeta needs to back off.’ Now that I’m casted as Peeta, they all just laugh.”
Luke chuckled then pointed behind him, “People at home, just so you know some of my staff just walked in with Team Peeta T-shirts on.”
“Hey,” I whined. “What about Team Katniss?”
“Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about you, Jen.”
Luke then zipped his sweater down revealing a T-shirt with a giant picture of my face, with Team Katniss written on it.
“I hope that looks flattering,” I replied, staring into my face on his shirt.
The staff laughed.
“That’s all the time we have with Josh Hutcherson and Jennifer Lawrence, we look forward to seeing the movie. Thanks for coming!”
“Thanks for having us Luke,” I said.
“Yeah, it was fun,” Josh added.
Luke clicked some buttons to play a string of commercials and took off his earphones. He shook each of our hands and we grabbed our stuff to leave.
“Burn that shirt,” I teased as we walked out the door.
It was only 10 a.m. when we finished. Josh suggested that we go to his house for a bit before we had to pack.
When we got to his house, Josh jumped onto the couch and turned on the television. I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. When I came back out his eyes followed me across the room, he looked concerned.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look exhausted.”
I thought back to what I looked like this morning.
“Probably because I am.”
I sat down on the couch next to Josh, and could feel the events from last night start to bubble up in my mind. It was all about to come out like verbal diarrhea.
“Ryan tried to have sex with me, I wouldn’t let him, he got pissed, I asked why, he pretty much admitted to using me--”
Josh cut me off my placing his hand on my shoulder. ”Jen, breathe.”
I took a deep breath and let it hiss out slowly. “Then I got pissed and demanded him to take me home. So yeah, I told him it’s better if we don’t see each other anymore.”
Thoughts passed behind his eyes like shadows, and then he blinked, trying to understand what I just ranted off to him.
“Why are guys such assholes?” I couldn’t help but to crash into him, his arms instantly wrapping around me. I rested my head on his shoulder.
“All guys?” He whispered.
“Except you…”
“That’s better.”
He did the same thing as he did earlier, gently rubbing my back.
“Now I’m really just avoiding talking about Ryan because you have no idea how angry I am. I’d say I would go kick his ass, but he’s bigger than me,” he said half-jokingly.
I smiled against his shoulder.
“You never deserved him,” he said gently.
Before I knew it tears sprung to my eyes.
“Jen, look at me.”
I tilted my head up and looked into his eyes; my vision was blurry from the tears.
“He took you for granted. He didn’t understand what an amazing girl he had. You deserve a guy who will give you his whole world.”
I closed my eyes and sighed. I could feel the lack of sleep catching up on me; I was beginning to drift off fast. Josh’s hand glided over my leg to grab the remote that was beside me. The hair on my arms immediately stood on edge and I shivered.
“Do I have a fever?” I asked.
He felt my forehead. “Um, no. Why?” he asked confused.
“I keep getting these cold chills.” I mumble, half asleep.
Sleep had almost completely taken over me, when I heard him say. “Me too.”
I didn’t have time to respond before I was pulled into unconsciousness.