Creepypasta vacation tips
The sequel
The beach tripening
Hello beloved and appreciated readers! It's the author speaking, or typing, whatever.. Before you get reading, I'd personally like to apologize for what you're about to read. It is horrible and I know this because I wrote it myself. Thank you and have a wonderful day/night depending on your timezone.
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Beach trip tip 1: Hello vacationers! Ready to go out on a beach adventure? Catch some waves and ride some sun? Here's your first bodacious tip- Make sure you're fully prepared! Pack some sunscreen and your towels, get ready for the time of your life!
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Jeff: Ladies... gentlemen... Masky...
Masky: Ay!
Jeff: I have gathered you here today to give you all some wonderful news that will bring a smile to all your faces!
BEN_Drowned: You're gonna move out?!
Jeff: No, shut up. *Clears throat* We are all going..... *Jazz hands*
Everyone:...............
Sally: Florida?
Ticci Toby: IKEA?
Laughing Jack: *Gasp* A Cirque de Soleil show?!
Jeff:.....*Ongoing jazz hands*
Eyeless Jack: Stop the jazz hands and tell us, Jeff.
Jeff: *Drops hands to side* Ugh, you're no fun. But you know what is fun?
Hoodie: *Gasp* DISNEY WORLD.
Everyone but Jeff: *Oddly ritualistic chanting* DISNEY WORLD. DISNEY WORLD. DISNEY WORLD. DISNEY WORLD. DISNEY WORLD. DISNEY WORLD. DISNEY WORLD. DISNEY WORLD. DIS-
Jeff: *Blasts airhorn right next to BEN's face*
BEN_Drowned: *Falls down screaming and covering his elf ears*
Everyone but a still screaming BEN:......
Jeff: The beach. The beach is what's fun and where we are going...
Everyone but BEN:.......
BEN_Drowned: *Struggling to sit up, ears bleeding* Th-then can we go to disney world?
Jeff:................. *Airhorns*
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Beach trip tip 2- Alright dudes and dudettes! Ready for the next tip? Well here it is! If you're having trouble packing, make sure to come up with a radical list of things you and your bros need to hang ten!
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Jeff: *Rummaging through closet while yelling at everyone* ALRIGHTY FOLKS, WE'RE LOSING DAYLIGHT HERE AND I WANNA WORK ON MY TAN. * Throws multiple knives into bag* IF WE GET THERE EARLY, WE CAN GET A GOOD PARKING SPACE!!!!!!!!!!
Hoodie: *Downstairs* JEFF, JANE'S AT THE FRONT DOOR AND WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!!!
Jeff: Oh my- hell nah, not this chick again! *Runs downstairs*
Hoodie: Hey did you get a haircut?
Jane: Oh! Thanks for noticing! I got a couple of inches off, no biggie.
Hoodie: Well, it looks nice o-*Gets kicked in the balls by Jeff* HRK- *Falls to floor*
Jeff: Don't converse with the enemy, hoodery.
Hoodie: *Crying* That's not even a real name.
Jeff: A'ight, *Air quotations* Jane, what do you want?
Jane: Jeff, listen. I know yo- wait why did you use air quotes with my name?
Jeff: What do you mean by, *Air quotes* air quotes?
Jane: You just did it again.
Jeff: *Air quotes* When?
Jane: Literally less than 10 seconds ago.
Jeff: I don't *air quotes* recall.
Jane: I don't think you understand how to use air quotes..
Jeff: Or, do I? *air quotes*
Jane: *Eye-roll* Whatever, I didn't come here to lose brain cells by having a conversation with you. I know you stole my bikini.
Jeff: What?
Jane: I was in my backyard, hanging my laundry up on the clothesline to dry- I put up my bikini, turn around to grab something else to hang up, I hear a crash followed by what I can only describe as a frickin' walrus moan and I see you. Grab my bikini off the clothesline, try to jump the fence, ram into the fence, then just decide to go around my house.
Bloody painter/ Helen Otis: Wait is that how you got those fence-shaped bruises?
Jeff: NOPE. Me and my, COINCIDENTALLY fence-shaped bruises have absolutely nothing to do with you or your swimwear.
Lost Silver: *Upstairs, yelling* Jeff, why is there a bikini in your bag?
Jeff:.....
Jane:.........
Jeff:......
Jane:.....
Jeff: Well isn't that a coincidence?
Jane: Jeff!
Jeff: *Rolls eyes* Omg.... SALLY! BE A SWEETHEART AND GRAB THE BIKINI OUT OF MY BAG AND BRING IT DOWN HERE??
Sally: *Upstairs* OK!
Jane: She's such a little angel
Jeff: Not when it comes to eating vegetables..
Sally: *Walks downstairs* Here you go Jeff! *Hands over bikini*
Jeff: Alright, *Throws bikini at Jane* You got what you came for, now go crawl back into the hellhole you came from..
Jane: *Barely catches bikini* Uh, wait Jeff- this isn't mi-
Jeff: *Slams door in her face*
Hoodie: *Slowly stands up and wipes his tears off*
Jeff: Welp! I hope I don't have to deal with that ever again!
Jane: *Knocks on door*
Hoodie: *Opens door* Yes?
Jane: This isn't mine..
Hoodie: What?
Jane: Mine's black, this is bright unicorn butt-hole pink.
Hoodie and Jane: *Turn to Jeff*
Jeff:... It brings out my eyes, okay?!
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Beach trip tip 3- Alright! Time to hit the road! Make sure you and your gang got plenty of tubular car activities to do to pass the time!
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BEN_Drowned: Alright! The bags are all in the trunk!
Jeff: Okay! Let's get this show on the road, people! When I say beach! You say trip! BEACH
Everybody:.............
Jeff: BEACH
Everybody:.............
Jeff: I'M SAYING BEACH AND I AM HOPING FOR A REPLY TO MY STATEMENT
Masky: *From a distance* Nobody cares.
Jeff: NOT THE REPLY THAT I WAS LOOKING FOR BUT I'LL TAKE WHAT I CAN GET!
Lost Silver: Beggars can't be choosers.
Jeff: Shut up Pokéboy. Let's g-*Whips around, sees Jane and jumps 5 feet in the air* SWEET JEEBUS YOU GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jane: Nice to see you too, crap-table. Listen, I want in on the beach trip.
Jeff:... What?
Jane: I have nothing to do and it seems fun, look- I've already packed by bag and everything.
Jeff: I do not know what you're talking about?? What beach trip???
Jane: I literally heard you scream *Does intentionally sucky impression of Jeff* 'When I say beach, you say trip' and then proceeded to scream out beach multiple times...
Jeff: Ok, first off- I sound nothing like that!
Ticci Toby: It's more squeaky and pubertyish!
Jeff: Shut up, Toby- Second off, I think I'd remember doing such a thing as screaming out 'beach' multiples times, and thirdly off. We're not going on a beach trip.
Eyeless Jack: *Steps out of house wearing flip-flops and loose tank-top holding a surfboard* Yo Jeff, when we leaving on the beach trip?!
Jane:....
Jeff:... He's doing that ironically.
Masky: *From a distance* STOP SPREADING YOUR LIES, YOU ALBINO NIPPLE MAN.
Jane: *Gets confused and disgusted look on face*.....
Jeff:... That too, is ironic.
Bloody painter/ Helen Otis: *Honks RV horn and leans out window* Hey! C'mon we gotta get to the beach Jeff! You're holding all of us up!
Jeff:.... You can't come
Jane: Why not?
Jeff: Nobody likes you.
Ticci Toby: I like Jane.
Jeff: Nobody important likes you.
Sally: I think that Jane's really nice!
Jeff: We don't have enough room in the car..
BEN_Drowned: It's an RV! We got room to spare!
Laughing Jack: The amount of available space on this vehicle is freaking mind-blowing man.
Jeff: Well, you heard em'! No room!
Lost Silver: We have enough room Jeff.
Masky: The RV could probably fit 6 more people Jeff.
Jeff: Sorry Jane! No room!
Jane: I can see 4 open seats in the windows.
Jeff: Those are for our bags.
Sally: All of our bags are in the trunk, Jeff!
Hoodie: You're putting words in our mouths!
Jeff: Well it's better tHAN WHAT USUALLY GOES IN THERE, HOODERY *Gestures to Masky*
BEN_Drowned: Oohhhhhhhhhh!!!
Lost Silver: She can come with us to the beach, Jeff!
Jeff: Look, there's only one seat left on the RV. So it's either you or me, *turns to everybody else* Who's it gonna be? Her? Or m-
Everybody else: Jane.
Jane: *Walks onto RV*
Everybody: *Drives off*
Jeff: *Standing in driveway*... ARE YOU KIDDING ME YOU MOTH DONKEYS.
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To be continued...