my biggest fear, love,
is that one day you'll see me
the way i see myself.
Rose was still completely and utterly terrified.
Things had happened so fast. One minute she was making dinner and the next Roman had turned into something animalistic; something she saw in her nightmares.
Rose was fragile, she trusted very easily but could become scared in a split second. She had the mindset to see the good in everyone, and that was easy when Roman was nothing but sweet and gentle to her. But that changed as soon as she saw how savage and wild he looked while beating the guard to a pulp.
Neither had moved from their spot, but someone had come in and taken the unconcious guard away. Roman mindlinked a pack member, but obviously Rose didn't know this. It only left her more confused.
She was still pressed up against the wall, but only because her fear had paralyzed her. Roman stood several feet away, knowingly keeping his distance. He knew that no matter how much he wanted to comfort and console his precious mate, it would only intimidate her further.
Fenris was whimpering profusely in Roman's head. He knew it was his fault but at the same time couldn't bring himself to regret it; the guard was about to kill his angel. And although Roman was reprimanding him for not controlling his rage, he didn't feel remorseful about it either. The only thing he regretted was that Rose had to watch the entire ordeal, she was too innocent.
"Little one...please," Roman pleaded. He looked at Rose with the deepest guilt and regret, she could tell he was sincere but was too scared to approach him. It seemed he lost all previous trust with her.
Roman didn't know if he could stand telling her about what he truly was, he somehow knew she'd either call him crazy or run screaming.
"Just answer my question...please," Rose breathed. All she wanted was answers, and after everything, she felt that she deserved them.
"I-I..." Roman took a step towards her and Rose inhaled sharply, cowering further into the wall. The action alone brought on a wave of pain in Roman. The fact she was too scared to be even a few feet away from him hurt him and his wolf.
He desperately wanted for her to just love him unconditionally, to look at him like he was her world, the way he looked at her. He wanted her to look past his surface, to know him completely and intimately. He wanted to be her best friend, her lover, her supporter, her protector. Never had he wanted her to look at him the way she was now. Never had he wanted to be the creature she feared most. Never had he wanted for her to see this side of him. He adored her so deeply, so profoundly that he was sure he'd break should she ever reject him. And that was why he was so hesitant to tell her, the fear of rejection, of abandonment, plagued his thoughts. He didn't know what'd he'd do if she ever left. Because he was already so fond of her, so devoted that he didn't know if he could let her go. He valued her happiness, her love, but her safety was his top priority. And by now he was sure most knew he'd found his mate. He was sure she was unsafe in the arms of anyone but him. The thought of anyone taking away his little angel terrified him, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd been terrified of anything.
He had something to lose.
His precious Rose.
"Rose, princess, I will tell you everything. Just please, listen to what I have to say." Roman's voice was full of implorement, he begged her to understand that if he lost her he'd surely die.
Rose could only nod, her voice stuck in her throat. She didn't understand why she was being so trusting of him, why both her heart and mind told her to agree. She didn't understand why he looked at her so deeply, like he could see straight through her. It only intimidated her more. But she wanted, no needed, answers.
Roman heaved a sigh of relief and reached out to her, but Rose's eyes widened in even more fear as she scrambled away. The blood of the guard was still on his hands. Roman tensed up again, clenching his fists and cursing himself for screwing up.
One step forward, two steps back.
"Okay, okay, angel. You don't have to come any closer, and I won't either. Let me just wash my hands and I will explain everything, I promise." Rose nodded silently.
Roman moved to the kitchen sink and washed his hands, scrubbing the guard's red blood from his knuckles. He finished and turned back to Rose.
"Ask me anything, love," he said, leaning on the counter, looking down. He was almost certain this was the last conversation he'd be having with her; she'd run for the hills once she told him the truth.
Rose gulped and felt consumed by pressure. She had many questions, but started with the one that would probably clear most things up. "What are you?"
Roman looked at her sadly and Rose almost went to hug him. He looked so melancholy, like the question itself broke his heart. Roman sighed and then took a deep breath.
"I'm a werewolf."
Silence.
Rose was staring at him with a blank look, and he couldn't tell if she believed him or not. She'd pressed herself further into the wall however, causing her shirt to slide down slightly and reveal the red handprints around her neck. Fenris growled in his head.
"Please say something, angel," he whispered.
"I-I believe you."
Roman's eyes widened. "W-What?" Did she just say she believed him?
"I believe you're a werewolf," she said quietly. She knew it was far fetched to most, but it would explain all of the growling, and the hair growing on his body.
But had her parents known?
"Did my parents know?"
Roman looked down. "Yes."
His answer brought tears to her eyes as she sniffled. Her parents had lied to her. She'd trusted them her whole life, only for them to send her away with a werewolf she barely knew.
"I asked them not to tell you," He admitted. "I was scared." He finally looked up to see her crying and his heart wrenched at the sight. He'd made his beautiful little mate cry. Fenris itched to comfort her, but Roman restrained.
"Scared of what?" she asked, confused.
"Of what you'd think of me," he responded simply. He knew this would only provoke more questions.
"Why am I really here?" she asked.
Roman knew this answer would be longer than the others. "Um, all werewolves have a mate. You know, a soul mate. Someone they're destined to be with. You, well, you're mine. My mate."
Rose was shocked at those words. What did that mean for her?
"But I mean, I'm a human. Wouldn't it make more sense for werewolves to have werewolf mates?" She inquired. Now she wasn't sure if he was lying or not.
"Well, uh, yes. But werewolves know who their mate is by smell, touch, and if you're high-ranking enough, sight. And I know for a fact you're mine," he said. He hoped this was enough of an explanation for her.
"So the first time we met, outside the bakery, you knew?" she asked.
Roman shuffled. "Yes."
Rose rubbed her eyes as her head pounded with a headache. This was just a lot of information to take in.
"Why did my parents want me to call you Alpha?"
Roman inhaled sharply at the question because it made him angry. "Because I'm leader of all werewolves, well King, actually. Calling me Alpha is a sign of respect." But those who called him Alpha were considered below him. And she was most definitely not below him.
"W-Wait, King?" she stuttered. "So that crown, it was real?"
Roman nodded and Rose exhaled shakily.
"But I still don't understand why you got so upset about me calling you Alpha. Shouldn't you want me to?" Rose asked.
He shook his head immediately. "Of course not, Rose. You are my mate, you are the one person who should never have to call me Alpha. And I don't want you to. I only want you to know me as Roman, not some Alpha King." The pain in his eyes revealed more to Rose than his words.
"So, when you beat up that man, it was because I'm your mate?"
"He was a guard, who was trying to kill you. I promised myself and your parents I wouldn't let harm touch you yet it's your first day here and I've already broken it. I'm so sorry, love."
Rose didn't reply but asked another question. "So when hair - er, fur - sprouted, you were, what? Turning?"
"Yeah, sort of. We call it shifting. Fenris had taken over at the sight of you being attacked."
"Who's Fenris?" she asked confused.
"He's my wolf. He's the more primal side of me, the side that comes on when I feel a strong emotion like anger. I'm sorry you had to see that, by the way. I couldn't control him," Roman explained.
"So Fenris, your wolf, was mad I was being attacked by your guard. So he took control of your body?" Rose's tone was skeptic and unbelieving.
Roman cringed at how fake it all sounded. "Y-Yeah, basically. Well, I was mad too. I don't like seeing you hurt." Roman looked at her neck with a strange emotion she couldn't decipher.
Rose's mind was spinning. He had just revealed what he truly was and now she wasn't even sure if she still believed him. It was so strange and far fetched, but he seemed genuine. She didn't know what to make of the sad man in front of her.
"Can you prove it?" she finally asked.
"Prove what?" he replied.
"That you're a werewolf."
Roman looked startled. "Are you sure you want to see that? Once I let Fenris out I won't be able to manage him until he gives control back. I don't know what he'll do to you," Roman said.
"I trust you," Rose said. Roman's face lit up with a warm expression that held fondness and devotion and Rose almost stumbled back at the honesty in it. He truly admired her.
"Ok, if it's too much, just face the wall, okay? Fenris will know to give control back." Rose nodded.
Both of them took a deep breath, preparing themselves of what was to come. Suddenly Rose saw Roman's body morphing and changing in ways that aren't humanly possible. She heard a few bones crack but Roman didn't seem in pain. Fur was starting to sprout and soon his hands and feet turned to paws, his face into a snout.
In a matter of seconds a huge black wolf was standing in front of Rose.
"Holy..." Rose trailed off. The wolf was almost as big as her, and she was a little over five feet. She couldn't deny that she knew this was still Roman in a sense, but she was still a little hesitant.
"Roman?" she called out. The wolf huffed and seemed to shake its head. "F-Fenris?" she said instead. This time the wolf almost yipped happily and Rose wanted to smile at how much it acted like a dog.
Fenris took a step towards his mate, aware that in the back of his mind Roman was yelling at him to keep his distance. However, Rose stepped closer too.
This gave Fenris even more confidence, and this time he took two steps forward. Now he was so close he could see Rose's chest moving up and down to the rhythm of her breathing, her tear-stained cheeks, and worst of all, the bruises that littered her neck. Fenris growled in anger, and Rose stumbled back, holding her hands in front of her in a protective stance.
Roman practically shouted at Fenris in his head, reprimanding him for scaring off his mate once again. He'd already messed up enough today, Roman thought.
Instead of stepping closer, Fenris slowly laid down, like any house dog would do. He let out a loud whine at the fact his human side was angry and his mate was scared.
However, the whine reassured Rose that he was harmless to her; he would never hurt her. Rose tentatively took a step forward. Fenris' ears perked up, but he set his head down on his front paws, knowingly sending Rose his equivalent of a 'puppy dog' look.
This action elicited a giggle from Rose and Fenris' eyes flowed gold, which then elicited a gasp. Rose stepped forward again, but this time in wonder and curiosity. Roman was no longer scolding Fenris; he saw the look of fear disappear from her eyes as soon as Fenris laid down.
Rose reached out to touch Fenris, and he stilled in anticipation.
Her hand made contact and Fenris purred aloud. Rose's face morphed into a smile that turned into a grin, that turned into a bubbling laugh.
Fenris wanted to pounce on her at how stunning she looked. He was proud he had made his mate laugh, even if he was a little embarrassed it was because he purred.
"Oh my god!" Rose laughed. "Ro-Fenris you just purred!" She continued to laugh, her eyes bright and happy and her hand still atop his furry head. Fenris leaned down and nudged her other hand so she'd pet him with both of them. Rose laughed harder.
After a while she calmed down, running her hands through Fenris' soft fur. "So soft..." she mumbled unintentionally. She realized she'd said it aloud and blushed furiously. "So you're Fenris?" she said quickly. Fenris' nodded his head and she grinned. "You can understand me?" he nodded again. Her smile grew.
And then suddenly, it faltered. "So you were what took control of Roman..." she said quietly. She shivered at the images that flashed through her mind; an animalistic Roman standing over the guard, beating him half to death.
Fenris whimpered and she smiled sadly. "I-I think I understand why you did it..." Understandably, Rose was still trying to wrap her head around everything that'd happened in the past few hours. "You were trying to protect me."
Fenris nodded vigorously this time, desperately wanting her to comprehend why he took control. He tilted his head and licked her hand to try and convey his feelings.
Rose smiled softly, petting him. "You aren't so scary when you're like this, I guess," she whispered, but Fenris heard it clearly. His ears shifted to lay flat on his head, his own way of showing he felt bad.
"C-Can you give me Roman back...please?" She asked. Fenris huffed quietly and she giggled. "I promise to make him shift again soon." Fenris nodded, licked her cheek, and stepped back. Soon enough the sound of bones cracking and popping was heard again. Rose cringed less than she did the first time.
But to her surprise, Roman was naked.
"Oh my god!" she said loudly, only catching a glimpse of his toned torso before realizing he was stark naked and quickly covering her eyes with her hands.
"I'm so sorry love, this happens when we shift. I-I'll be right back," he said apologetically, and a little embarrassed. She heard his footsteps out of the room and she uncovered her eyes and took a deep breath.
However, she couldn't deny that she liked what she saw. He definitely had a six pack, and his arms looked strong enough to tear her in half. Usually she'd run at the sight of a guy like him. He was obviously strong and muscular, but instead of scaring her he made her feel safe.
Soon enough Roman walked back in with joggers and a grey shirt on. "So, um, is that enough proof?"