26 – Jacques Adam Wagner POV
'He always knew it was her. But she was too interested into the other guys to notice. Because she loved the bad ones. You know them, the ones who leave your heart broken.'
– Anon.
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Jacques' POV {A.N. Hey there Team Jacques ;)}
Years.
Yes. It's been years since I've fallen in love with Andrea. I can still remember the first time I saw her — her perfect set of pearly white teeth smiling crookedly as her eyes sparkled admiration to a sight she was gazing over. She seemed happy and beautiful that I had to look at her. She was just... glowing.
No other girls could catch my attention the way she had caught mine. I never liked hanging around with girls back then. All I thought was that, they're these pretentious people who hated boys. But Andrea changed that. She changed the game.
Her smile brightened more. Curiosity filled me as to why was she smiling so stunningly that I followed her gaze. A jolt of an ugly feeling surged through me. I was never the jealous one. I was never the one to get angry especially towards family. But that day, I can't help but to resent the difference between Justin and I.
Why was she looking at him?
A few days after that day, I finally had my answer.
I was still a little kid back then but I felt my heart broken by the sudden truth. And that's where these ugly thoughts rendered into my mind.
Why was it always Justin?
What's so good about Justin?
Why Justin?
Why can't it be me?
Why can't it be Jacques?
Years passed by, and I did everything to make Andi looked my way. It was frustrating. In the end, it's always Justin. No matter what he did, it's always him.
The excruciating pain when I found out they were about to marry one another was something I did not expect when I fell hard with Andi. I did not know how to describe it, but it was something even physical pain could not attend to. It was too painful that almost every day of my life; I can't help but to cry my tears out.
I did not care.
Men can also cry.
Real men cry.
Crying doesn't make you weak, it just shows how human you are. It displays how much you love that person. It shows how strong your feelings are that you do not give honest fucks about what people thinks of you. You cry because it hurts. You cry because you care. You cry because you love.
Reality would often hit me, knowing every pain was bearable if Andi would not feel the same agonizing feeling. It just bounces back a thousand more painful whenever I see her sad sometimes. I'd do anything in a heartbeat for that to go, I thought. But I know who can only shoo the sadness away. And the cruel reality was that, it was an asshole kind of a person... the worst part, it was in the form of my cousin.
I shook my head.
Why can't girls fall to the good guys instead of the bad ones?
I sighed as I glanced at Andi who was now surrounded by little kids.
Great. Knowing she's involved in an orphanage makes me love her even more. Tsk. I'm fucking doomed for life.
I bit my bottom lip as I watched her laughed joyously. Going here with Anthony, Andi's dad, was something between awkward and unanticipated from. We didn't talk throughout the entire car ride but I think it was a compromise silence.
I was just about to visit Dr. Mason when, coincidentally, I saw Andi's dad there as well. We exchanged conversation and then before I knew it, I'm right here stealing glimpses of Andi's face. Her wide grin beamed from ear to ear — something I'll always remember. She was a one bright sun.
I felt a very familiar feeling washed over me as I looked away.
Why her?
My heart constricted, remembering an unwanted fact. There are seven billion people in this world and it had to be her. It has to be Andi.
I puffed a sigh as I heard the music change to a slow rhythm. I chuckled sadly. Was the heaven above taunting me now? Really? This just had to be the song.
With a warning that Justin is lurking around the party, I decide to take courage and ask Andi for a dance. I'm not going to miss this one. I'll take every chance that I'd get, putting aside the consequences. I wanted to. I needed to.
"Hey there Princess." I greeted as I met her stunning hazel eyes. "Can I steal this dance?" I continued as I laid my palm out for her. She seemed startled for a moment then soon glanced around the place. I knew who she was looking for. I shook my head and chuckled, grasping her wrist without giving her the time to decide.
I received a glare as a reply.
"At least be kind to me, your dad and I had the longest car ride ever. And it's just supposed to be a 10 minute ride." She rolled her eyes before chuckling. I smiled. "There. Better." I said as I wrapped my arms around her waist.
Her eyes suddenly narrowed. "I don't think this is a good idea."
"You're overthinking."
"And you're taking advantage." She retaliated. I laughed.
"Come on Ands. We're in front of the kids, I'll certainly not do that with all the eyes looking." I added with a wink.
She scoffed. "Your charms aren't working for me, by the way."
I smiled sadly, "I know."
I saw how she seemed caught off guard that I pinched her nose. Something I always did whenever I see her down.
"Ouch!" She swatted my hand away which made me snickered. "Jacques!"
"I told you, I don't want to see you sad."
"And you want me mad?!"
"Will you slap me if I say it's a big turn on?" She stared at me as if I suddenly grew another head. I smirked.
"Alright that's it! I'm not going to dance with you, you pervert!" She was trying to get out of my hold but I only tightened my grip.
"I'm not letting you escape now Andi." I teased. "Alright. I was just kidding."
"Jacques!" She squirmed.
"Andi!" I mocked in return.
"Do you want me to punch you?" I just chuckled. Not that it would do so much. "Jacques!"
"Nope." I said, popping the letter 'p' as I pulled her closer.
"Let go!"
I glanced at her as she tried her best to get away. "I will, just not now." With that, she stopped.
"Jacques." She whispered.
"Just give me this dance Andi, that's all I'm asking."
She pursed her lips, but later became comfortable inside my arms. She knew how I could match her stubborness. I smiled in return. Can we just be like this? Can't we stay like this?
We were silent for a while as the slow music blasted. I could still feel a small tension between Andi and I. I did not mean for her to take what I said by heart though.
"Andi--" I started.
"I love you Jacques, you know that, right?" I bit my bottom lip and sighed rationally. She just said she loves me. But it hurts. Because I knew there was a limit of her love for me.
Damn it Andi. Am I about to be in the friendzone again? I won't ever get out of here, will I?
I chuckled sadly.
"If that is so then," I started. "After the contract, you'll run away with me?" She sighed as she held on to me all of a sudden. My eyes furrowed. "Andi?" I whispered.
"She's almost back now." She softly whispered, the pain in her voice didn't mask away the worry and agony laced in her tone. Understanding, I hugged her closer.
"I promise I'll make you forget." I whispered back. Just choose me Andi. I promise you, you won't get hurt.
"I'll never forget."
"You will."
"No. I don't want to forget." She insisted.
"You'll only hurt yourself." I stated out of resentment over the situation.
"I don't care."
Why are you so stubborn Andi? Can't you see that I don't want seeing you hurt?
And as if it was always just like how it seemed to be, one moment Andi was in my arms the next thing I knew, Justin was standing in front of me as he pulled Andi to his side. I was startled for a moment but soon clenched my jaw and fists.
"Justin." I grinned mockingly.
"Justin?" Andi muttered in surprise.
"Jacques." Justin replied with the same amount of animosity. Good. I will never feel the guilt knowing we hated each other. "I'm going to take back what's supposed to be mine now, is that okay man?" It took everything within me not to punch him here. After all, I didn't want to ruin the party and the fact that, I wasn't invited here to begin with.
"Is it now Justin?" I taunted him. I watched as his jaw clenched tightly. Exactly the reaction I wanted.
"Justin." Andi warned. "We're at Ellise's party. Please."
"Fuck." Justin cursed. He paused for a moment. "Is it Jacques now Andi?"
Fuck him. He knows exactly who Andi loves but he just had to ask it from her.
"Justin."
"Lost your confidence Bieber?" I smirked playfully. If its only this way I could get back at him, then I would religiously taunt him to his limits. Because fuck him.
"Jacques!" Andi yelled but not loud enough for people to hear. I bit my bottom lip. "Shut up!" With that, she pulled him with her. I watched them fading away throughout the public's eyes as I still stood on my ground.
Damn. How much is enough Jacques?
It's always been like this. Always. Ever since we were still kids. Justin don't play fair. No, he uses every advantage and every moment he can get. I know. I know exactly how he plays. I know he is Andi's first kiss. I saw it. I saw it with my own eyes inside Andi's bedroom when we were young. I wanted to see Andi... I wanted to know if she was fine but what the fuck did I see? Justin placing his lips on her!
I couldn't help but to resent him. How could he take advantage? How could he steal something so special? How could he do that when I told him who I liked?
Fuck him.
In revenge, I kissed Andi unexpectedly the next day when we were playing around in front of our circle of friends.
Now everyone thought, I was Andi's first kiss. Hah. Take that. I knew Justin wouldn't dare to tell anyone that he had kissed her when she was sleeping. He thought Andi would hate her if she found out about that.
That day started something between us three, it marked the beginning of animosity that surrounded us --- Andi hated me as I hated Justin as Justin hated Andi and I.
I knew Justin liked her. He wouldn't admit it. Even now. He's a dumbass for not realizing it. He fucking always cared about her.
He may deny it but I know he loves her. He's just in the stage between confused, anger, betrayal and above all in denial. I sighed. I wasn't here to steal Andi. Sure I love her. I still do and I still will take my time to take the advantage.
But Justin needs to wake up now. He needs to realize it before its too late. Especially now that... especially Andi is... I pursed my lips.
The things you do for the one you love. I mentally chuckled.
Closing my eyes, I listened to the song that was playing.
'I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't.'
I sighed heavily before opening my eyes. I felt my heart constricted to the pain again. When will it stop? I needed to get out of here. I needed to. I have to.
As I turned around, headed towards the exit, I briskly stopped on my tracks. To say I was surprised was the understatement of the year. I watched as the car sped off but not before the person offered me a sad smile and small wave in return. I shook my head and smiled ruefully.
Love. How much can these four letter word do?
"Selena." I whispered.
Indeed, the things we do for the people we love.
Now things will get pretty bumpy real soon.
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