Flint
"He's asleep." I said, walking back down into the kitchen.
"That was quick." Casper smiled as I opened the fridge.
I shrugged, pulling out a couple beers, sliding one to the pop star. "He was tired."
He didn't have anything to say as I opened my beer bottle, handing the opener to him before he did the same. When I woke up this morning, this is not how I expected my day to go. Let alone my weekend... or my life.
"Do you wanna talk about it some more?" Casper asked quietly, taking a sip of his beer.
"No." I mumbled into the bottle, taking a sip of mine. He just nodded, letting the slightly uncomfortable silence continue. I don't wanna talk to him, but at the same time I couldn't handle this weird silence anymore. "Are you excited for tour?"
My question seemed to surprise him. "Yes and no. It's always so much fun, but it's also a lot."
I nodded, swirling my beer. "I guess so."
It was silent again as I stared into the beer bottle. What the hell is my life? We both finished our beers probably way too quickly, cracking into another... and another... until that one beer had hit 3, and we were both now on our 4th one.
"I'm sorry." Casper said, once again breaking the silence.
"I get it."
"For everything. Life wouldn't be this messy if it weren't for me."
"Ain't that the truth."
"Seriously Flint..." He said, taking my hand and making me look at him.
"I'm sorry, for everything."
A few hours ago I probably would have laughed and spit in his face, but right now all I could see was the sorrow in his eyes.
"You still have to earn your forgiveness." I muttered, taking my hand out of his grasp. "You fucked me up Casper. Hard. And don't say your sorry because I get it, blah blah blah you're a stupid teenager with a stupid job, but that didn't make it hurt any fucking less."
"I know..."
"You just left me, you left me crying on the floor of my bedroom after telling me to 'get rid of it', because it was my problem and not our child."
"Flint I..."
"I've had to do everything by myself! Myself Casper! You got to go off and enjoy your fucking music career, everything you worked so damn hard for and what did I get? A fucking congratulations it's a boy ballon and a 'we're sorry to see you go' letter from my college. Don't get me wrong here I love that boy with more than anything and I'd do it all over again 50 times if I had too, but 19 year old postpartum Flint didn't have the same feelings then, I'll tell you that much."
"I can't..."
"Not to mention all the friends I fucking lost. You know Ash is the only one who stayed? Cash stopped talking to me, obviously because he's your bandmate and the couple other guys I did hangout with dipped as soon as the figured out I was gay and pregnant. Oh yeah, a lot of my family also decided I wasn't straight enough to be related to them anymore, but the ones who did stick around long enough figured out I wasn't telling who the father was and started some nice rumors about me through a family group chat me, my mom, and my sister weren't in, isn't that so fucking funny? Who cares if you're gay, but a gay slut? Oh now that's where they draw the line."
He didn't seem to want to say anything else, but sat looking at me like I was a wounded puppy. Funny how that's how he see's me now, isn't it?
"While you're around you should probably sign that vacant space on his birth certificate." I muttered.
"I'm here to stay Flint."
"Yeah, well you said that last time and here we are Casper Woods."
He just looked at me again, nodding slowly. I put my beer bottle down, burying my face in my hands with the sudden overwhelming urge to sob.
I felt his hand slowly start to rub my back, and I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder.
Yeah, I'm fucking pissed at him, but I missed him so damn much.
•••
When I woke up with arms around my waist and a body pressed against my own, I nearly jumped out of my skin. Upon realizing it was Casper, I did jump out of my skin. How the hell did this happen!?
I was too tired to care as I sunk back into bed. At least he's warm. I glanced at the clock on my nightstand and yawned, realizing I had to get Paxton up. I reached for my phone and scrolled through some messages, reading over the ones from Sawyer. Last minute reschedule of a game, so no more baby sitter. Great, that means I have to call Ash... I need to call him anyways.
I pryed myself from Casper's grip, sitting on the edge of my bed and rubbing my face. I'll start making Pax breakfast, and then i'll call Ash... I don't wanna call Ash.
I felt an arm snake around my waist, pulling me closer to him. "Come back to bed baby." He muttered, making me turn too look at him. Did he just call me baby?
"I have to get our son, songbird." I said, looking down at him. He didn't respond to his old nickname, meaning he probably had fallen back asleep. I stood up, letting his arm fall off my waist before I went to go get Pax from his room.
I avoided the creaky boards of his bedroom floor so I wouldn't scare him, but was pleasantly surprised to see my sleepy baby with his eyes open. "Good morning my love." I smiled down at him, making him smile back up at me. He stretched his arms out before reaching out for me to pick him up, making me smile. I love getting him up in the morning, he's so sleepy and cuddly.
"I hungre" he whispered as I kissed his cheek.
"Let's go get some breakfast baby."
I kept him wrapped up in my arms as I brought him downstairs, setting him in his chair. I clicked on the TV in the living room, flipping to the Saturday morning cartoons before I went to go begin to make him breakfast... and call Ash... I sighed, picking up my phone and brining it to my ear. It only rang a couple times before he picked up.
"Go on now, i'm waiting."
I rolled my eyes as I turned on the coffee pot. "I'm sorry."
"For?"
"Yelling at you."
"And?"
"Kicking you out of my house."
"Thank you. I suppose i'm also sorry for threatening to beat the shit out of that god awful man."
"He's changed you know..." I sighed, walking over to my fridge to get out the waffles. "I wouldn't say that if I didn't actually mean it."
"Yeah, I know. But i'll believe it when I see it."
"Fair enough." I sighed, popping the waffles in the toster. "Can you do me a favor?"
"So you called me to apologize and then beg me to watch our son."
"Mainly apologize." I said with an eye roll at the 'our son'.
"God I feel so loved. What time?"
"In about an hour?"
"Ah no can do. Earliest I can get him is like 4."
"Dang it... If I leave him with Casper do you promise not to kill him when you come pick up Pax?"
"I can't make any promises."
"Ash, please."
"Fine. I supposed I can be civil for the sake of the boy."
"Thank you. I love you, and I'm sorry."
"I know. Let's talk more over dinner soon."
"That sounds really good."
"I know, I'm a genius. But I love you too, i'll see you later."
"I love you too."
I put my phone down and sighed. I will forever be thankful for Ash... and i'll give him a more proper apology over dinner.
"Cas!" I heard Paxton giggle, making me turn around.
"Good morning pal." He smiled before looking back at me with a smile. "And good morning to you too."
"Morning." I smiled back, popping Pax's waffles and cutting them up into smaller bites. "I've got a question."
"I've probably got an answer." He said, leaning against the counter.
"Do you wanna watch Pax?"
"Yes. Please. When?"
"Calm down. Sawyer bailed on me and Ash can't pick him up till 4 and I work a late shit. Can you watch him till 4?"
"Yes, definitely." He nodded quickly, looking like he might explode from excitement.
"Thank you."
"Of course, anytime." He nodded. "I want to be around alot more after tour."
"Yeah I know." I nodded, giving Paxton his plate.
"Fank you daddy!" He smiled and I kissed the top of his head.
"You're welcome baby. Trial number one Casper Woods, make sure my baby doesn't choke while I go upstairs and change."
"Sir yessir!" He nodded, giving me a fake salute before sitting down infront of Paxton. I rolled my eyes and headed upstairs to get dressed.
I never ever in a million years believes this would happen, yet here we are... I'm still not even 100% sure how this seemed to happen.
Casper
"You also can't give him the straight up apple juice, you-"
"Have to water it down, I know." I nodded, listening to Flint give me the same set of instructions for the 4th time.
"Don't cut me off." He glared, picking up his car keys. "You call me if there's any type of emergency, and If I don't pick up, I don't care what kind of hatred you hold for Ash, you call him next."
"I got it."
"If I find out you hurt him, yell at him, or threaten him when he comes to get Paxton it's game over."
"Understood."
"Thank you. Last thing, he goes down for a nap at 2, and when he wakes up and i'm not here he'll probably freak out. Nothing against you he just loves me more. Just distract him, it works best."
I just nodded as Pax ran up to Flint with out stretched arms. "Alright buddy, daddy's gotta go for work now but i'll see you soon, okay?"
"No leave?" Pax asked, looking as though he was about to burst into tears. "I'll be back silly goose! I love you, have fun with Cas ok?"
He just thew his arms around Flints neck, squeezing him tightly. Flint put him down after and he ran off to go play with his toys. "Hurt my baby and i'll feed you to the squirrels." He muttered walking out the door.
"Squirrels?"
"Goodbye Casper!"
I just shook my head, shutting the door before going to join Pax on the floor with his toys. He seemed more interested in playing with his own imagination at the moment, so I sat and watched.
I don't know what was going through my head when I left Flint... I was a stupid fame driven teenager who thought my band was more important then my pregnant boyfriend.
I was wrong, I was so wrong.
I didn't realize how much I loved him until it was far too late, and I had already messed up too far beyond repair. The only thing I can try to do now is make up for lost time.
I've only known my son for a couple days now, but I love him more then anything in the world. I wish I could tell Pax that i'm his other dad, but Flint doesn't want me too yet... I think apart of him is still afraid i'll walk out on them.
Which I won't be doing, since i'm not that boy anymore. I can't break Paxton's heart like that, and I can't hurt Flint either, I've already done to much to him.
I spent the rest of my time with Paxton playing with his toys, and reading a couple books he brought over to me... until eventually the time rolled around to 3:30, and it was time to get Paxton ready to send to Ash.
I just wish I had more time.
"Alright Pal. Ash is gonna come pick you up soon so we gotta get ready to go." I said, picking him up off the floor.
"No...stay with Cas" he whined, burying his face in my shoulder.
"It's alright bud. I'll see you soon after."
He just let out another whine, making me shake my head with a smile. Flint had already packed the majority of his bag before he left, leaving me with only a couple random things. I picked up his blanket first, and by doing that I caused an immediate reaction.
"CAS NO! I carry!" He shouted, reaching for the tattered yellow blanket. I tossed it over his head, making him giggle. "What toys do you want buddy?" I asked. He pointed to a stuffed bunny and I picked it up out of his little bed and dropped it in the backpack.
"All done" he smiled as I zipped up the backpack.
"Almost." I smiled picking up the backpack before we walked down into the kitchen. I put the red cup Flint had told me to get in his bag as Pax ate a cookie he had managed to grab off the counter. I scribbled down my phone number and stuck it onto the red cup where Ash could see it. He probably won't ever call me, but just incase something were to happen.
I really wish I could've spent more time with both of them today... but I still have tomorrow...until Monday when we leave for tour... and then who knows how long until I'll see them again. "Cas sing a song?" Pax asked, bringing me back from my daze.
"Sure buddy." I smiled, setting him down before opening the guitar case. I strummed at the chords, making Pax giggled in delight before I sang a little bit of a song. He watched the guitar, nodding his head along which only made me smile. "It's been so long, it's been so long , baby we're fire-proof..."
"Hey little man!" Ash smiled as the garage door opened, making me stop and clench my teeth.
"Ash shhhh!" Paxton sassed pointing to the guitar.
"We'll finish the song tomorrow bud" I smiled setting the guitar down. "Ash" I nodded smiling politely.
"Casper" he nodded back. "I suppose I should apologize for attacking you yesterday, you're presence just made me rather..." he looked at Pax. "Peeved"
"Its ok" I shrugged picking up Pax. "We'll put it behind us."
"Sure, but I just want you to know I still don't like you, and I do not trust you in the slightest bit. In fact you're lucky Flint even let you look in Paxtons direction, so remember that." He said, patting my shoulder before taking Pax from me.
"I remind myself of that every minute i'm here. Here's the bag." I muttered, handing Ash the backpack.
"Thanks."
"Yeah...Alright well I'll see you tomorrow morning bud, have fun with Ash" I smiled. He reached out for me again, giving me a little hug before grabbing back onto Ash.
Ash gave me a civil nod before heading out the door with Pax on his hip.
"Bye Cas" Pax called with a frown, giving me a little wave.
"Bye bud, i'll see you tomorrow." I smiled, holding his hand till he walked out the door and out of my reach. I waved goodbye from the doorway until I couldn't see him anymore and shut the door behind me, a heavy feeling in my chest. If a goodbye was this hard after barley 2 days, how hard would leaving on Monday be?