I keep thinking about the same thing whilst the living are trying to work out what to do with me. It's only Cory who acknowledges me. He catches me staring, nods once, and goes back to what everyone else is doing; ignoring me or secretly keeping an eye on me to see what I'll do next.
I don't know what I'll do next.
I mean, I'm the prisoner here. I'm getting more and more anxious because of the way the female Sadie is looking at me. It's as if she is deciding something. Cory has tried to let her examine me, but I don't trust her, and I am pretty sure she feels the same way about me. Maybe that's why she's preparing some kind of syringe right now while no one is looking.
"Gee, how can Cory even believe this thing has a mind?" Jason's fellow guard says. I haven't caught his name yet. "That thing so can't talk! That's dumb to even think!"
I find Jason and his friends very annoying. I wouldn't mind telling them. Or I could just eat them.
"Yeah," Jason agrees. Just as he says that, I begin to realize that Cory's isn't the only familiar face appearing in my dream. Jason was my best friend there. But that was a very different Jason to the one I see now. This one looks older.
Something gets poked into my shoulder. I hiss and realize it's Sadie with the syringe. I am so surprised that I can't do much but stare at her. Clearly, she still hasn't told anyone she's doing this. She pretends to be curious and wanting a closer look at me when Jason is busy laughing with his friends and doesn't notice what she's really doing. Great security guards they are.
I don't feel much when the needle punctures my skin, but I do when some kind of liquid enters my body. Sadie's eyes are huge. I squirm and Jason finally notices. He holds me down with his rifle. I know better than to challenge him like this. He isn't like Cory; he will shoot before talking. But, incredibly, he doesn't see the syringe because he's telling a joke, and Sadie has already pulled the syringe out and hid it in her pocket.
Jason pokes me again. I roll my eyes. It is really beginning to annoy me. Pain can't hurt me, so he can torture me if he wants to, but he will get one very pissed off zombie if he tries that one more time. Lucky for the guy, I'm trapped in a cage, so I can't get to him. He just needs to stop poking me. Right now.
As if on cue, Cory steps in and orders Jason to back off. No one speaks after that and Cory limps his way to an old, rotten couch. Sadie gives him some medicin saying that he needs rest. He reluctantly hands over command to Jason with the order: "Don't hurt him". Jason agrees reluctantly. Secretly, this pleases me.
From then on, it only takes minutes before the medication kicks in and Cory is asleep on the couch. I stare at him now and am reminded of last night that we spent in the ruins of that old building. I'm reminded of the trust Cory puts in me. Is he being courageous or just plain stupid?
As the night falls, Sadie hands out cans of dull-looking food, which gets eaten almost mechanically. The contents look like smashed guts. I wonder what they are going to do when I get hungrier again. I can't eat canned food like them. I wish it was that easy.
The next day starts out with a gun being pointed in my face. It's that guy who - just like Jason - decidedly doesn't like me. I find out his name is Spencer. He argues with Cory all morning about why I was brought here. I have to admit there is some truth to what he says. This whole situation is odd. Cory, however, doesn't agree that I'm as much of a threat as my guards seem to think. He must have some kind of plan.
"He's in a cage and he's alone," Cory says with a deep breath. "There's no way he can get out."
"Cory, that's not the point here!" another guy says. "We don't know if those things have some way of communicating! What if it brings its friends here? We have no way of escaping if this building if it gets compromised! You know what that means!"
"That won't happen," Cory persists. "That 'thing' saved my life whether you wanna admit it or not. I want to know why."
With that said, he begins to make his way over to me where he sits down on an old-looking wooden stool, facing me. My guards accompany him and I growl at them.
"It's okay," Cory tries to tell me, so I tilt my head to the side and try to get his attention turned to the guns currently being pointed at me. I refuse to talk if they threaten me like that. So Cory waves them back and I just stare at him. I wasn't expecting him to do to that. I don't understand what he wants from me.
"Uh..." Cory says, testing the water. "This might sound a little strange, but are you sure you can't tell me who you are? Isn't there something I can call you?"
I shake my head in response.
"No?" he sounds disappointed.
"G-gone," I stutter in a pathetic attempt to elaborate while I try not to choke myself in the process. Talking is hard for me.
He looks at me funny. "You can't remember a thing? Not even who you are? Or maybe how you died?"
I shake my head again.
"Okay then..." He drags a hand through his hair. I want to say something more. I open my mouth, shut my eyes, so I can focus so this seemingly simple task.
"R-re-mmem-ber world," I say. "N-not me."
Yay. Almost said a full sentence this time.
Cory's expression becomes eager. "I see," he answers. "My name is Cory and these guys here are Spencer and Jason and over there is Sadie." He points to the annoying guard who likes to poke at me, the blond one whom I am certain is also the Jason from my dreams and the smaller female with the syringe. "We are on a mission to find more supplies and perhaps people, but it's getting harder and harder."
I look at him, confused.
For the first time I see him smile, but it's a sad one. "People die all around us all the time. It seems like there's so far between the days you can look back at and smile. I have a lot of happy memories, but they're from another time when people had hope. It hurts to remember those days because the world can't go back to that ever again. Sometimes I wonder if the world's still capable of being fixed."
Now, that's something we can agree on.
I give Cory a dead stare. I don't mean to seam so dead, it's not that I don't listen to his words - I do. I hate that it is so hard for me to respond.
He sighs. "I wish I knew some way to help you, I swear."
I manage a dreadful smile, which Cory returns. I notice all the people around us keep looking at me weird. Whether it's because they're stunned I can speak or because they don't want me here I don't know.
"I'm not gonna stand for this shit no more," the guy called Spencer says and gives me a look of utter disgust.
"You better watch it," Cory says. "Don't disobey my orders, Spencer, if you want to stay on this mission! When we get back we can always find you a different squad, but right now you're under my command. Is that clear?" Cory gives him a look of warning.
Spencer looks like a boney that wants to rip an arm or a leg off its opponent. Agitated. He takes one final look at Cory and walks away. Two guys decide to follow him. Jason and Cory chase after them, yelling for them to come back. Only then does Spencer turn around to yell something back.
"This is your freak show, Cory! The dead can't come back! Even if this is him, you should shoot him! He isn't a person anymore. He's a monster! I'm going back to base to do my duty. I won't take orders from weak faggots like you!"
Cory is about to chase after him, but Jason holds him back, hauls Cory back inside and secures the door again after Spencer and his companions escape. Cory kicks a nearby chair using his bad leg. He winces and Sadie is there instantly to stop him hurting himself further. Grumbling and moaning in pain, he agrees to let her change the bandage around his leg. I haven't seen him this angry before. It's interesting to see that side of him.
"Jason, can you keep watch of him please," Cory asks and Jason agrees. Now, he has to be the big gun protecting everyone else from me.
He's quiet most of the time and looks at me a few times, stone cold soldier attitude. He's alert and watches my every move. He's almost naked now without his friends.
In the end, I just stop moving all together. I sink down to the floor and the whiteness starts to engulf my vision again.
...
I'm tapping my foot impatiently. Cory's been with the nurse for like fifteen minutes and I'm going out of my mind. Why is he taking so long? Did I hurt him more than I thought? The idea is practically nerve-wrecking. What if he blabs about what happened? I'm going nuts just thinking about it, pacing back and forth, until the door finally opens to reveal a tired-looking Cory. His eyebrows shoot up at the sight of me and I try to keep a straight face as he walks over to me.
"Were you waiting for me?" he asks suspiciously, but the look on his face tells me this pleases him.
"No, I was just checking you weren't actually dead," I argue. He just stares at me. It irks me that I can see this smile in his eyes, but I have no idea what it's all about. If I didn't know better, I'd say he's the one with a plan here.
"Hey, wait!" I call when I realize he's running off on me. "Wait, you idiot!"
He doesn't, though, and keeps on walking. "I have class," he says.
I stop him. "Class?" I repeat. "I practically just smashed your head in and you wanna go to class??" I sigh. "You're coming with me. No more school today."
Now he looks at me like I really am some kind of serial killer. Groaning, I grab his arm and drag him with me and he protests against me. "What the hell?!" he yells.
"Don't be stupid and just get in," I say as I stuff him in my car. Praying no one will see, I get in myself and start the engine. I can feel Cory's eyes on me the entire time, but I don't say anything before we hit the main road.
"Where's your house?" I ask and see him fumble nervously with the ends of his sweatshirt.
"Why, so you can come strangle me at night?"
I send him an irritated glare. "Where's. Your. House?" I repeat, trying not to sneer at him. This time he gives me the directions and otherwise keeps quiet, holding a hand to his forehead. There's a point where I almost feel like apologizing to him a second time. I catch myself before I get that far out of control and speed up to get this miniature edition of a boy home.
...
With a long noisy groan I get back. I look around for Cory to find him talking to a few other men, like they're planning something. Even if I assume I know Cory from before, the pictures in my head keep telling me we weren't exactly friends. Although, it seems that I - or whoever's head I'm in - didn't hate him as much as they tried to make it seem. I'm surprised to learn high school can be so confusing.
I sit and stare into the nothingness that surrounds me. The younger Cory was a skinny kid with absolutely no chance of defending himself. He's so alike the Cory I see now; they both have pale blue eyes and messy caramel locks. However, the younger Cory is so skinny and has hair that's way longer than the real Cory. The real one has shorter hair and he is almost as big and fit as me. Not that my muscles are worth much anymore.
With this in my head, I watch as the living go to rest. Nobody looks at me except Cory and Sadie. They are talking, but I can't hear what it's about. I wonder if Cory has found out about the syringe. Perhaps he is angry. Perhaps he is confused. It seems like he accepts whatever answer Sadie gives him and she pats his shoulder lightly. Next thing I know, the lights are being shut off.
The only company I have then is Jason and we have our usual staring competition. He is beginning to look at me with more wonder now than hate. I feel the same way. He was also in my dreams and his past tells me he didn't like Cory either - but he isn't like that anymore. He follows orders even if he doesn't agree with them. That includes not killing me. Surprisingly. The people in my dreams are almost too identical to the real ones. That is one of the main reasons I can't bring myself to believe that I have found pieces of what used to be my real life. If what I see in those dreams is true, then everyone from my old life is here. It's like the impact of that thought is too much for me. It's like having your whole family staring you in the face, but you have no idea who they are. It's a very bad case of amnesia or fake imaginings. It feels so empty not knowing who you are, it makes me feel so lonely that it hurts. I have this funny aching in my chest, and I'd even swear that it's as if my heart is restarting itself. But it can't muster the strength yet. I want it to happen. Maybe, just maybe, it can happen. It's a crazy thought, but it won't get out of my head. It's like someone is switching on the light in a old, abandoned house.
I watch the sun begin to rise after hours of wondering and looking at Jason almost falling asleep on the watch more times than one. When the sun starts to show, he bucks under. Just as he dozes off, I notice someone else stirring - and it's someone who shouldn't be here.
Spencer and his two friends are back.
My eyes widen. I know it's bad to let them know I can see them, so when the initial shock wears off, I stay deadly quiet and keep from making any sounds. I need to see what they are doing. Taking out a knife, they are cutting what looks like a bag of red liquid open. They are pouring it onto the floor in a long line throughout the storage hall. I don't understand what's going on - well, not until the smell hits my nostrils.
It's blood they've spilled all over the place.
I need to do something. I groan and growl and try to reach out my cage as if to chase them off.
Spencer just looks at me with an icy glare before he runs off. I can tell he doesn't fear me. He knows he has the upper hand.
I screech and yell to make Cory and the others wake up.
The scent of blood is getting stronger and I am slowly loosing myself to it... at this point there is nothing I can do but sit here and go crazy.