The concept of time has flown through my fingertips. It was like waking up from a nap and not knowing where you are or what time had passed. I hadn't even realized I had blacked out, it was more like I was missing a chunk of time. Like somehow despite me being aware of my surroundings I had failed to understand how I got from point A to B.
I mumble incoherently and peel my eyes open to spot Harry slouched in a chair in the corner of the room. His thumb circled the various buttons on the remote while he surfed countless outdated channels. The static stricken audio irritating my ears as I flutter my eyelashes to adjust to the dingy lighting of this room.
For a moment I struggle to think of the reality of what has happened. I confuse myself easily with the concept that everything leading up to this point was a dream, a mere hallucination. The murder, the switch in Harry, it all had to be a dream right? A result from hitting my head or something similar?
"Harry?" My voice is gravely and weak but I still attract his attention nonetheless.
"Good morning kitten!" He greets me leaving me with an answer. That nickname could have only slipped off of his tongue.
There was no point in trying to deny what was clearly the reality. My brain and mental state begged to believe this wasn't real, that this was all some elaborate dream conjured up in direct result of an injury but I knew better.
"Dear god," I roll my eyes noticing his chocolate brown curls that spiral in loose formations that frame his sharp jawline and defined facial structure. "Can I go back to my temporary coma?"
"It's nice to see you again too Chan!" H obnoxiously says to me while I pull at my face. The skin under my eyes drags down following my fingertips that are the culprit of pulling the skin.
"Please don't call me that," I grumble easily getting annoyed by H's presence. In the short time I was getting to know H he sure as hell knew how to push my buttons which I had resented him for.
"What?" He asked with a dumb smirk on his lips, "Chan?"
"Yes, that's not my name," I huff out already over H's antics. I knew he thrived on wearing on my nerves but this wasn't the time nor place to be pinching my nerves.
"It's half your name," He banters with me even though it's clear I am in no mood to deal with his childish behavior.
"So do you have anything better to do? Honestly," I scoff rolling over to notice the IV in my arm shooting fluids into my bloodstream.
"What if I call you Elle?" The name rolled off his tongue and the reminisce of Harry struck me upon hearing him say my nickname.
"You can't call me that," I state firmly not bothering to give him any eye contact. Hearing him call me that lit a spark and sense of deeper longing. I wish Harry could hurry up and come back to me from wherever he was. I missed his sweet and gentle touches like a homesick child.
"Why not that's what Harry calls you," H brings up causing me to turn and roll back over to see those deep-set green eyes that almost seemed to glow.
"Precisely the point, you aren't Harry," I snap at him feeling a tinge of my breaking heart. It splintered at the mention of his name.
H says nothing in reply, his eyes avert down to his shoes like a little boy that had been scolded by his mother. His eye contact is anywhere but with me as he fiddles uncomfortably in the deafening silence between the two of us. I run back over and take a deep breath, pulling in any source of fresh air my lungs could find.
I was tired more than anything else. I knew I had been asleep minutes prior to my interaction with H but that had been enough to wear me out. Just having to discover my sweet Harry had been cloaked over with some sort of darker alternate personality was enough to exhaust me.
I still didn't fully understand who H was and more importantly what he was.
Maybe if I could score a spare minute with one of the nurses tending to my case I could ask a few hypotheticals. I needed H out of the picture somehow but I couldn't think too hard in the state I was in. Any over thinking or brainstorming onset a headache that throbbed against my delicate skull.
"He misses you," H abruptly interrupts my string of thought and sends me into a frenzy of longing once again. I roll back over and meet a pair of sadness soaked eyes that cause a strange emotion to dip into my bloodstream.
"What?" I ask hoping that I had heard him right. Was he talking to Harry? How did he know that Harry missed me?
"Harry, he misses you," H says keeping steady eye contact with me while I run my gaze over his sad green irises. I hadn't seen this side of H, the gentle and maybe even bordering sensitive side.
"He says he is sorry, he doesn't want you to think he doesn't love you," H said causing me to swallow hard at his words. I didn't want to cry but I had no other emotion to hide behind, the tears created walls behind the whites of my tired eyes.
"Tell him that I know that he loves me, I'm sorry for ever saying the things I did. Tell him I love him," I break eye contact and wink upwards towards the ceiling to try and stop the impending tears from falling.
"He can hear you," H alerts me with the little bit of information. I bite the inside of my cheek and regain my composure, enough to look at H calmy.
"Where is he H? I know you say he is away but I don't know what that means, help me understand," I touch H's palm ever so gently and see his eyes immediately avery down to my soft touch. I can't tell what he feels, he is wiped of any emotion that his eyes were once dipping of.
"He's in here," H points to the side of head gesturing to his mind.
"Harry is in your head?" I ask with an understanding undertone, I didn't want to scare away this side of H. He was finally explaining things to me, I couldn't let him slip back into his dark sarcastic and utterly devoid mind.
"I pushed him back there, I was tired of him dictating everything," H's brow creases and I can tell I may have struck a nerve. He pushed his hair back out of his face and leaned back slipping his hand from my touch. "He think he can try to push me away, pretend I don't exist? No."
From what I was gathering from H, he was no demon, not possessed, or a mental break. Harry had split personalities.
Could it have been possible that the reason Harry didn't know how or why he was in Philadelphia was because H had pushed him away? H had taken control of Harry's mind leaving him with large chunks of time that had been accounted for. It was all coming together now, it was all H.
"Maybe he was afraid of you, he didn't want you to hurt anyone. Even though that's a mute point now," I try and explain. From what I knew to be fact H was extremely violent, he took pleasure in the torment and pain of everyone else. He inflicted violence on others to cover up the fact that maybe he was feeling and harboring his own pains and aches.
"No he just wants to erase me completely. He thinks he can just get rid of me and pretend that I am no there but he's wrong," H said aggressively taking a heavy breath. I can't imagine the torment his mind is enduring and it hurt to know that Harry had been dealing with this struggle for so long. "I was always there! Every single time I was there!"
"There for what? What were you there for?" I question seeing H was spun up into a frenzy of intense feelings and emotions.
"No, stop doing that," H growls aggressively, his green eyes darken and again a dark cloak washes over his features. The switch was dramatic and quick something that happened in a blink of an eye.
"Doing what?"
"Trying to get me to talk to you, stop trying to get me to open up to you. I don't do the heart to heart bullshit. This isn't a hallmark movie." He tells me standing up from his chair where he storms off running hands through his unraveled curls.
H was hiding something. He hide secrets that he locked up in his mind, secrets that pained him from what I gathered. He had told me he was always there for Harry, what did that mean? How long has Harry been dealing with Dissociative Identity Disorder?
Did he go undiagnosed whenever it all started? These were just some of the millions of questions that circulated through my mind. It was crazy that I had once believed I fully knew Harry. I thought he was an open book, that I had read every single one of his pages but it looks like his story was just beginning.
N: I know I haven't been active on here recently! Work has picked up immensely which leaves me with very little time to sit and just write. Nonetheless I have busted out 2 chapters and they will be out as soon as I get around to editing them! What do you guys think about H? Do you like him? Hate him? Let me know!:)