*E*
"What about this one," Pip asked holding up another suit.
I stared at her. "No. Hell no."
She stuck out her bottom lip into a pout. "Why not?" she said, drawing out the phrase. "It's cute!"
We'd been in the shop for only a few minutes, but I quickly gathered that Pip should not be in charge of picking out the suit I was going to buy for her.
I looked at the... thing again. It was a black one piece that looked like something my grandma would wear, that is, if my grandma ever went swimming. I swear that on Pip's tiny form, it would cover from chin to knee and halfway down her arms. It was a more of a wet suit than anything else.
"Pip. Just—no. Now this," I held up a bikini that I knew she wouldn't go for. It was a fluorescent pink scrap of material. "is more like it."
The horrified look on her face was worth me being a horrible person. I cracked up.
"Ok, ok. Sorry," I giggled. Yes. I giggled. Shut up.
We kept flicking our way through the racks and I stopped on one that practically jumped off of the rack at me. "Ok, what about this?" I held it up.
I saw her eyes widen and knew I chose right. This one was bright blue, almost the exact color of my car and had a good amount of fabric.
"I'm gonna try it on," Pip said, taking the thing from me and heading back to the small changing rooms in the back.
As I waited, I idly flipped through the rest of the suits on the rack. None of them stood out to me the way the blue one did.
A few minutes later, Pip reemerged in her street clothes. My eyes drifted to the small amount of flat stomach showing without my control.
I quickly drew my eyes back up to her face. Meeting her eyes, I was sure mine had an unsaid question in them: it didn't work?
A small smile formed on her lips and she shook her head. Holding up the suit, she said, "Oh, no. I'm getting this baby."
I laughed and headed over to the men's section.
"I do believe that it's only fair that I get to pick yours since you picked mine."
"Fine," I groaned. Having witnessed her idea of beach fashion, I was worried for both my pride and reputation.
Cora placed a hand on her chest in offense. "Theo Archer, do you not trust me?"
I managed to dead pan and shake my head. "Not at all."
She made a noise. "You, sir, are incorrigible."
I started laughing again. "Sir?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.
She grinned back at me. "I talk funny," she said shortly and turned back to the rack of shorts in front of her.
She kept holding up pairs and suggesting them. I hoped that most she was doing as a joke, but with Pip, I could never tell. One pair was neon pink and had white flamingos on them, another was white and covered in small, yellow smiley faces. I could feel my pride slipping and realized my only real hope was to get lucky.
Get lucky. Heh.
"Ok. Here," she said finally, throwing a pair of shorts at me. "Try these."
After pulling them off of my head, I looked at them, full of apprehension. They weren't bad. In fact, I actually liked them. They, too, were blue, but they were navy blue, with a pattern of small white triangles over them.
I nodded my appraisal. "Be right back."
After successfully navigating to the small room, I slid the shorts on and stood, looking impressively at my reflection in the mirror. They fit just as well, if not better, than the pairs I had at home.
Changing back out of them, I returned to Pip. "Oh, yeah. These'll do."
We grabbed a couple towels off a rack and headed to the counter to pay. I noticed sunscreen underneath the counter on little shelves, grabbed one, and held it out to Cora. "The moon's pretty bright tonight, you know. Wouldn't want to fry yourself."
Pip smacked my hand away but was smiling. "Shut up."
I laughed, payed for our swimsuits, and headed back to my baby with Cora.
The rest of the trip to Venice didn't take long and was spent mostly in companionable silence.
"Alright," I said once I parked in the full parking lot. Not many people were on the beach, but the shops always had people in them. "So over there is the bathrooms and changing rooms." I pointed to the small building. "We can change there, and I know this spot that's less out of the way. Fewer people. How's that sound?" I looked at Pip for an answer, but she was staring out at all the people and lights with a mixture of awe and horror. "Pip?"
"Huh?" she said, swinging her head around as if she was hearing me for the first time. "Whaddid you say?"
I felt the corner of my lip twitch up. "Changing rooms are there and I know a lesser populated area we can get to. Sound good?"
"Oh," Pip said, sounding a little off, "yeah. Yeah, that's fine." She turned to look back out the window with that same look on her face.
I felt my eyes narrow as I looked at her. "Hey," I said softly. When she didn't turn to look at me, I reached over, cupped her cheek in my hand and turned her face towards me. "Are you ok?"
A small, hesitant smile livened her lips. "I'm ok. Really. Just still in shock. And I'm a little unnerved."
"Why?" I asked. I still hadn't moved my hand and I started to think that I should take it back.
Just as I thought it, Pip reached up and covered my hand with hers. Well, kind of. Her hand's too small to actually cover mine completely. "This. Here. Being here with you. I guess I still don't believe it."
Her words shocked me. "What? Why not?"
The small smile still played on her lips as she shook her head slightly. "Not in a bad way. I just don't think my brain is ready to understand how I'm here. You're Theo Archer and I'm a nobody from nowhere. I'm not worried or anything, I'm just still in a mild state of disbelief." The words spilled out of Pip like she couldn't get them out fast enough. "It feels like a dream. I'm at Venice Beach with a famous singer who just bought me a bikini. That's something girls write about in their diaries when they're little or write books and stories about, not something we experience. I guess what I'm saying is that I don't understand why, of all people, I'm the one here with you. I mean, surely you could be bringing some supermodel here instead of an unknown nerd with one friend."
I could hear in her voice that is was mere curiosity, not something self-deprecating.
I sighed. I hated her thinking that I would want to spend time with some superficial, clingy, and demanding piece of plastic instead of the incredibly real girl in front of me. A girl who didn't mind eating pizza in front of me or singing out of key to one of my songs. "You don't understand why I would bring you here instead of some model, is that correct?" I asked and when Pip nodded, I continued. "Let me put it this way. Supermodels are shallow and pathetic and are completely fake. And I mean fake in every way: from personality to body. You are none of those things. I mean, hell, you ate pizza in front of me. Twice. That counts for a lot right there. You don't give a shit what people think of you and you talk to me like I'm a legit person, not just a celebrity."
A slight blush rose in Pip's cheeks as I talked. "That's 'cause you are a legit person."
I didn't have anything to say to her, so I just grinned. It only took Pip a second to grin back.
"Alright. So I wasn't listening. Where'd you say the changing rooms are?"
I pointed again to the small structure. "There. Meet you at that corner," I gestured to said point, "when we're finished changing. Then I'll take you to that less popular area."
"Deal."
We got out of the car and headed over to change. I turned at the last second heading into the men's room and grinned at Pip's back disappearing through the girls' door. I had no idea what I was doing right now. I'd sworn to myself that I wouldn't let anyone get caught up in the life I lead.
Not because I didn't care, but because I never wanted to ruin what was good in their life by placing them in the poison, I've grown accustomed to. That might be a tad dramatic, but my point stands. Why would I want to drag Pip into this life only for it to destroy what's good about her like it has so many? Like I'm trying to not let it do to me?
I shouldn't want her to be with me, not like this. It's selfish and cruel to pull her into my world, but I can't help it. I love spending time with Pip. It doesn't matter what we do because I never care. We may have only just met, but I find myself impatiently looking forward to whenever I was going to see her next, even if I didn't know when that would be. It hit me like a physical blow how selfish it would be to keep spending time with her, to let her inside my carefully constructed walls. I bent over and put my hands on the bench before me, breathing harshly. But damn it, I don't care!
If being with Pip is selfish then I'm done being selfless.
I held everyone I could ever be close to at an arm's length or more for two years, only ever letting Jay in. I'm sick of and done with being isolated from everyone I love.
I thought about tomorrow and the fight. I was worried about Pip coming. How could I not be? I was pretty sure she'd never seen a fight and I didn't want her to be horrified by it. I might be undefeated in the fighting world, but the guy I was fighting would be my toughest competitor yet. Tomorrow's fight isn't the only thing I could lose.
I sighed and took my time getting changed. Pip I knew would take longer than me anyway. Not that she meant to, girls just have so much more to do than us guys. It's rather unfair, I think.
Even taking longer than normal, I had to wait for a minute or so for Pip. I gave her a smile as she reappeared, wrapped in one of the giant towels we bought. I gave her a blatant up and down look, sure amusement filled my face.
Pip blushed and glanced down at herself. "Hey, I never said I was totally comfortable with bikinis. Just sayin'."
I shook my head laughing and offered her my arm. She shifted her towel, taking my arm, and we started walking, looking like an 80-year-old couple, I'm sure.
As we walked through the small crowds of people, I noticed several people (girls mostly) doing double takes as they saw me. Before I noticed what I was doing, I'd pulled Cora into a small shop along the walk.
"What-?" she started, but I cut her off.
"Hang on. I'll explain in a minute, I promise. But in the meantime, I gotta get a hat. Stay here for just a sec," I said quickly. I went over a row and grabbed a plain black ball cap and quickly handed over a few dollars for it. Heading back to Pip, I put it on and offered her my arm again. "Right," I said. "Sorry about that. I really don't care to be recognized at the moment."
Pip was frowning, which I didn't take as a good sign, and reached up and grabbed the hat off of my head. "Hey-"
She gave me a withering look. "The tag, dummy."
Oops.
She placed the hat back on my head crookedly, on purpose I'm sure and I didn't bother to fix it. Then, she took my arm and we started off again. I noticed she was still frowning slightly, and I knew before I even really thought about it that it was because of me. I made a mental note to ask her when we got to the beach.
Arm in arm, Cora and I made our way through the throngs of people towards the beach. I wasn't getting odd looks anymore, too, which was good.
Eventually, we made it to what I call my special little place. You have to duck through a few buildings and palms, but you eventually find yourself in slightly more secluded spot than the rest of the beach.
Laying out my blanket on the sand by some old fallen palm, I motioned Pip to sit and she did. On the tree. I rolled my eyes subtly and remember her small frown. I said, "For whatever it was that I did, I'm sorry."
She looked at me blankly. "What?"
"I don't know. I mean, you've been looking upset since I pulled you into that shop. I figured it was something I did. It usually is." I wasn't sure if I was right, but it was a good guess.
Pip grinned again, finally. "Sometimes, it's surprising how oddly adorable you are." I felt my cheeks grow slightly warm. "But no, I'm just... confused, I guess. And worried."
"About?"
She shrugged. "Well, I mean, I guess I just don't like that you hide in public. I get it, don't get me wrong. I understand you don't want the mobbing and the craziness. Don't think that I don't understand that, but-" she broke off, shaking her head.
"But..." I prompted.
Pip hauled in a deep breath. "But it seems like you're embarrassed or ashamed to be seen with me." The words rushed out of her in a quick exhale and I felt my face fall. I'd done something wrong.
I'd done something terribly wrong.
Did she really think I'm ashamed of her? She's the best thing that had happened to me in a long time and yet, here I was in typical Theo Archer style, doing something to make her think I was ashamed of her. I nearly laughed with how utterly ridiculous it was.
I dropped to my knees in front of her so we were roughly the same height and looked dead into her eyes. "On the contrary, Pip. I could never be embarrassed by you, let alone ashamed. Are you kidding? You're incredible and I just don't want to taint the pureness that radiates off of you. I'm not trying to hide because of you. I'm trying to hide for you."
The confusion on her face told me that I wasn't doing a good job explaining this. As if to prove it, she asked, "How do you mean 'for me?'"
I sighed for what seemed like the twentieth time. "I mean normal people like you that get hooked up with not-normal people like me usually get ruined by it. It's not their fault, things just get crazy and they can't stop things from spiraling out of control. I don't want that for you."
Something flashed in Cora's eyes like hurt quickly replaced by a fierce determination. "You don't think I can handle fame, is what you're saying."
I groaned. No, it wasn't. "No, Pip. I'm saying I don't want you to get targeted by paparazzi and I don't want to you have to put up with interviewers and I don't want you to give up your amazing and normal life. This life that I have... it's not nice, it's not fun. It's horrible. The only reason I haven't given it up is because the only thing I've ever wanted to do is make music for people to enjoy."
Pip laughed, but it without any humor. "E, that would be really sweet if it were true." She held up a hand to stay my objection. "Not the part about how being a celebrity sucks. That I believe. I mean the part about how I have an amazing and normal life. My life is anything but. After Daniel—" She cut off almost before she finished saying his name, shaking her head. "Well, after an accident years ago, my family's never been the same. Mom and Dad are never home, and I'm usually all alone. Unless Elle is over. But she's my only friend so if she's busy, which she is a lot, I'm by myself. Not to mention that school is a joke, no one's really dying to befriend me because I'm not a tall, blond beauty like Elle. So no, E. I don't have an amazing and normal life. I have a sucky, loner life."
I wondered who Daniel was. Her voice when said his name had such a large amount of love for him in it that it surprised me when I noticed the pain that laced through that love. Pain that said she'd been close to him somehow and that closeness had been destroyed in, what I could only guess was, a truly horribly way. So whatever her connection with this Daniel guy—it hadn't been complete happiness.
"Guess we're just two people who hate their lives for completely opposite reasons. You have no one, I have too many someones."
Pip nodded. "Guess so." We fell into a silence broken only by the sound of crashing waves. "So look," Cora said finally. "I love that you're worried about me losing my normal life and all, but if I never had one to begin with, I don't have it to lose. And it's not like I didn't know who you were, E. I practically volunteered for this. I'm ok with it, really."
I nodded. I still didn't think it was a good idea, but she was determined to go through with it. I couldn't argue too much against it either. I wanted to spend time with her, more than I ever have with anyone else. "Well, that settles that. Ready to swim?"
Pip grinned mischievously.
"Duh."