The anger in the courtroom was palpable. Polly shifted uncomfortably in her seat, not daring to glance at her parents, because she knew exactly what she'd find there. When she closed her eyes and tipped back her head, she could picture the moment her parents had come back for her. The moment she sat in the Principal's office with them. The moment they pushed her into the office and locked the door.
She could picture her younger sister, holding onto her toys. She could picture the baby. She could picture everything she was supposed to be, and be a part of, but her gut twisted at the thought of it. The thought of being locked away forever, abused because of who she loved.
Her uncle and aunt weren't there yet. It was quiet, almost too quiet, and Polly could feel the beating of her heart against her chest, racing like it was trying to escape. In her mind, she knew this was it: freedom. But, doubt crept through her like acid, coating the walls of her insides and seeping into her brain.
Doubt that her parents would win, take her home, and finish what they started.
The doors at the back of the courtroom opened, and Polly turned to see her aunt and uncle, walking in together, their heads held high. When they saw her, warm smiles crossed their faces, wishing she was already back in their custody. Back where she was safe.
There were no people in the jury like in the movies, Polly noted. It was her parents, her aunt and uncle, and the judge. And, lawyers, of course. Both quiet, both sure of themselves, but Polly prayed that her uncle's judge would win.
The judge looked at Polly's aunt and uncle, and then at her parents. "You two are her parents, correct? We're here to discuss her legal guardianship."
Polly's father was the one who spoke first. "Yes, we are her parents. And we both find it outrageous that we even have to be here. She's our child, and she was kidnapped by those two, who are trying to take her back. Can't you see that? Our daughter is in danger!"
Polly's aunt and uncle shook their heads in astonishment, but before they could talk, the judge wrote something down, then gestured to her aunt and uncle. "I've heard about your case, but feel free to join in on why you want custody."
Polly's uncle pulled out a sheet of paper. "Here is the discharge paper from the camp that Polly was in, and here is proof that Polly's parents were contacted. Now, Polly's parents never came for her when she was discharged, so we took her in. We were contacted after her parents never made an effort to bring Polly home. They never once got in contact with us to ask about Polly, nor did they tell the police Polly was missing. They also never visited the camp to see her. I believe that's a case of abandonment, which is why we believe Polly should be in our custody."
The judge turned to Polly's parents, but her mother already had a rebuttal. "We wanted her to stay in the camp, that's why we didn't pick her up! She belongs there!"
Her uncle looked at Polly's parents, his eyes dark and his face cold. "I will not apologize for thinking that your daughter is perfectly normal, and does not deserve to be tortured for her sexual preferences. And if you agree that your own daughter deserves to be tortured, to be whipped and cut open and abused, then I don't think you deserve custody of her."
Polly's mother opened her mouth to argue, but nothing came out. There was nothing for her to say against that, because what mother agreed to someone torturing their daughter? No, she wanted Polly to be straight, but whichever means possible, even if it meant looking away at what actually happened behind closed doors.
Her uncle turned to the judge. "If Polly's own parents were abusing her, beating her, and torturing her, would you take away custody?"
The judge eyed Polly's uncle, trying to figure out why he would ask such a question. "Of course I would take away custody." The judge turned towards Polly's parents. "Are you abusing your children?"
"No!" Her mother yelled into the nearly empty courtroom.
"No, they are not, but what's the difference between parents abusing their children and parents sending their children to be abused?"
Her mother stood up, outraged. "That camp is legal! We did nothing that wasn't legal!"
The judge crossed his arms. "Sit back down."
Her mother did as she was told, her face twisted in anger. She was trembling, but she was trying to hide it.
The judge looked over the paperwork that Polly's uncle had handed him, reading it carefully. "Why did you neglect to pick up your daughter from that camp? Did you not care for her?"
It was Polly's father who spoke, his hand on his wife's lap in a comforting gesture. "We felt that Polly belonged in the camp unless she came back straight. The camp promised us that, and so when we received those letters, we refused to pick her up because the contract wasn't done. Polly wasn't straight, and we were paying for her to leave that camp liking boys again."
Polly flinched from his words, and at how callous they were. "I never liked boys."
Polly's father sent her a dark look, telling her to be quiet, but she was done hiding from them. "Judge, may I speak?"
The judge nodded, agreeing that she could talk. She didn't dare look at her parents, so instead she focused on her hands. "I don't feel safe living with my parents. When I moved back in with them, they kept me locked in my room, without freedom. They forced a marriage upon me. They wouldn't let me see my siblings. With my aunt and uncle, I feel safe. They encourage me to go to school and make friends so that I can live a normal life in the future. They have my best interests at heart, and I want to live with them. Not my parents. I was not kidnapped - I went to live with them on my own accord."
Her mother made a strangled noise, like perhaps she wanted to say something else, but didn't. Instead, the judge stood, and rubbed his forehead. "A custody battle is no easy thing to decide for a judge. Typically, it is my belief that children belong with their biological parents, but it is obvious to me that in this case, Polly, your parents do not have your best interests at heart. And in one year anyway, you'll be able to decide where you live. I don't see the harm in speeding up the process, so Polly, your biological parents no longer have custody over you."
A sob came from Polly's mouth, and she put her face in her hands. Relief washed over her, and finally she felt light, happy. She felt arms around her, and she assumed they were her aunt's, a reassuring pressure that was reminding her it was real. She was free, at last.
When she moved her hands, her vision was blurry from the tears, but she could still see the anger on both of her parents' faces. Both stood, and turned towards their lawyer. "What the fuck is happening?" It was her mother's voice, laced with so much venom, it reminded Polly of her childhood, hiding in her closet, listening to her mother call her a devil child.
Her uncle pried her from the seat. "How about we stop on the way home for some dinner? I think we deserve to celebrate."
Polly watched her parents, watching as their entire world was becoming unhinged. She shouldn't have even cared, but she did care. It was who she was, and she couldn't change that about herself.
Her mother met her gaze, and the woman began to cry then. Really cry, with shaking shoulders and loud sobs. She reached towards her daughter, but her husband held her back, sensing things wouldn't end well. "We only wanted you to be normal!"
Polly bristled, standing from her seat. Years of being called devil child rang through her mind, like a loop that was never ending. She could remember being so afraid, hating herself, wishing she was straight. Wishing her parents loved her again. Wishing that she was who they wanted her to be.
She was done being afraid. And she was done hating herself. "I am normal, mother. Just not what you want me to be. I'll never be what you want me to be. And I'll never marry Alex."
Her mother seemed to stumble back from the words, as if they physical stabbed her. Polly turned away from her crying mother and looked at her aunt and uncle. The two people who saved her from the hell that she had lived in for so many years. "Let's go celebrate."
* * *
Things would never go back to normal, and Polly knew that. After they ate dinner, after they celebrated and returned home, Polly stared at her bedroom. She looked at what she left behind, the life she had been trying to rebuild. When she closed her eyes, she could picture what it first had felt like to enter that bedroom, after all those years of being tortured. The kindness she had felt from her aunt and uncle. The love they gave her, even though they knew how damaged she had been.
She ran her hand over the comforter on her bed. So many things were different, now. She was free, at last. She felt her legs tremble, and then she was on the ground crying. She had been through so much in the past few months, never mind the past few years of her life. Even when she left the camp, her past was haunting her.
She felt tired to her bones - tired of fighting who she really was. Tired of pretending of her mother, tired of dressing up for Alex, tired of it all. And, she really only wanted her friends around her, but she had no cell phone and no way to contact them.
But, that wasn't necessary; there was a knock on her door, and when it opened, her friends were all suddenly there. Of course, Kenzie was first to storm into the bedroom, her arms around Polly in an instant. "Polly, oh my Polly! I never want you to leave my sights ever again!"
When Polly pulled back, tears in her eyes, she kissed Kenzie with as much passion as she could, her tears still flowing from her eyes. She felt her hands find Kenzie's soft cheeks, pressing into them softly, feeling the heat beneath them.
She could feel Kenzie's fingers in her own hair, clutching her tightly, never wanting to let go. It was a feeling that Polly could get used to, the way Kenzie held her closely, the way her fingers felt in her hair.
Polly's own fingers slipped into her girlfriend's purple hair, feeling the silky strands against her own skin, wondering how such a perfect girl like Kenzie would ever consider her good enough to be her girlfriend.
A cough interrupted them. "I know you're excited to see your girlfriend, but how much longer are you going to kiss her and ignore us?"
It was Tom's voice that made Polly look away from Kenzie, and then she laughed. Tom was leaning against the door jam, but he wore such a wide smile. Polly staggered to her feet and pulled the boy close, burying her face in his neck. "You are such a nuisance!" Polly couldn't help but laugh, hugging him tightly before letting him go.
"Yeah, an ugly nuisance," Kenize huffed, crossing her arms, but everyone knew the comment was in good fun. Even Tom laughed, ruffling Kenzie's purple hair, the smile on his face genuine.
And then, there was Minny. Polly took in the baseball hat, the sweatshirt, the pants with the bottoms rolled up, and his tall, mismatched socks. And then he smiled at her, that Minny smile, and Polly ran into his arms for a hug.
She'd missed him, missed this boy, for so much longer than just when she was at home. She'd half expected him to be back in those khakis, but he wasn't. She hugged him so tightly, and he returned the hug, crushing her to his chest.
She remembered then when she first met him, when he passed her that note, and when he almost ran her over on his skateboard. Then, she'd thought he was some boy who thought he was too cool for anything and anyone. But now, now she knew better. When she pulled away, she saw the real tears in his own eyes, and it made hers only run down her cheeks at a faster pace.
He wiped her tears. "Why are you crying?"
She ran her hand down her cheeks, trying to catch the tears. "Because I'm so happy. I have amazing friends. I have an amazing girlfriend. And I'm finally living with a family that cares. What isn't there to cry about?"
Kenzie hugged her from behind, placing her chin on Polly's shoulders. "Don't think for one moment we abandoned you. We've been meeting with your uncle and the lawyer for weeks now. We've been fighting for you all this time."
Polly turned in Kenzie's embrace, clutching her girlfriend tightly. "What did I do to deserve you guys?"
It was Tom that joined the group hug next. "No, Polly. What did we do to deserve you?"
Polly let out a laugh, but it was a choke on her own tears.
Minny joined the group hug, his long arms bringing them all together. "We're a family of misfits. And we're going to change history."
A ragtag team of teenagers changing the history sounded impossible, but Polly knew better. She knew just how possible it was, and just how real it was about to become.
* * *
PLEASE DONT HATE ME
I know, it's been SO long. and i'm so so so sorry!
I haven't forgotten about this book. or this story. or how important it is in this current politcal climate.
I love all of you oh so very much. And I love all of you for being so so so patient
please don't hate me!
I love you all, xoxo