Chapter 56 Breaking Links 3
That memory, that darkest day, flashed through her mind in less than an eye blink. That memory was the core reason why she had rejected the link to Callin. And the twins had experienced it with her. Every last heart-bleeding second of it.
Carmen completely lost her grip on her power, not even noticing it trickling through the fingers of her control like water through a thin cloth. She backed away from the twins, her face pale and her body beginning to tremble, her slow steps almost clumsy. The magnitude of what she had just revealed to Callin and the twins was welling up inside her like the bars of a cage that knew no limit.
The twins accepted Callin at that same moment. The fire-storm of blue, bio-electric power around them ceased instantly, and they opened their eyes, locking Carmen in their depths. Carmen opened her mouth, shaking her head slowly back and forth, but no sound came out.
Jesse spoke first. She held out her hands calmingly, like she was addressing a small, terrified creature.
"You did what you had to do, Carmen. It's ok. We understand." She said softly.
Carmen didn't hear her. She was growing more panicked by the moment. How could she face them now? How could she ever face Callin again? Her world had just unraveled. She had killed those people. She had killed and she had enjoyed it.
It didn't matter to her that she knew her own powers wouldn't have worked like they did that day unless she hadn't truly believed they all had needed to die.
That dark, ugly truth laid its filthy, skeletal fingers across her consciousness, cutting deep by force of its wrongness.
She was not a warrior, she was not one to hurt others. It was incomprehensible to imagine that someone needed to die. She had gone against her very nature that day. She had killed a part of herself, a warm, loving, innocent part, an inner piece that defined her to herself. And she had been living a lie ever since, acting as if that didn't matter. As if she didn't need that part of her to go on living. And now Callin and the twins knew this. They knew it exactly as surely as she did, having been there in her mind that very day, through her memories.
"Carmen. You aren't responsible for that. It's not your fault." Jen whispered, tears beginning to streak down her face.
She had her arms wrapped around her midsection, was holding herself tightly, feeling like she might shatter like a statue made of fractured crystal. Both her and Jesse had went through a very similar experience years ago. Carmen's memories, her past, had cut very deep indeed.
Carmen spun and fled, her sobs tearing up from the very center of her, making her stumble as she ran, making the world a blurry, twisted, confused image with no bearing on her own reality. What was this place? Her thoughts scattered about as she ran through the huge, front doors on the mansion.
Her eyes skittered around as she ran, not really seeing anything, her mind barely functioning enough to keep her from running headlong into things. All she knew was that she needed to be alone, she needed to run and hide, hide deep where she couldn't be found.
She made it into the woods before a new horror rose up before her, stealing all strength from her limbs, dropping her to the forest floor in a helpless heap. Callin had felt her reject him. He knew she had rejected him. He knew everything about her past.
She buried her face in her hands, her agony muffled but still giving away her position. She choked back the tearing sobs, curling into a tiny ball close to the roots of a pine tree, biting her lip fiercely in an attempt to hold back the sound of her misery. She had to be utterly silent here. Otherwise they would find her. She was a terrified little girl again, hiding under her bed, shaking like a mouse waiting for those dreaded footsteps.
"Let her go. Go to Callin. He needs you." Jacob said sadly. He had to strengthen the lines of control on his own telepathic power so the pain in Carmen wouldn't reach inside and cripple him.
He saw the moment the twins looked inside and felt Callin there. He saw the moment they realized he was dying. They sprinted from the room, their silver-blonde hair streaming behind them, both of them beginning to draw on their own power. Preparing a shield of the coldest ice he had ever seen.
He wondered at that for a moment, until he realized they were preparing themselves in case Callin died. They had moved quickly, with no indecision. The ferocious will-power they had thrown into creating that shield had startled him for a moment. Until he thought about the experiences they had lived through. They truly were ready for the worst.
In some ways, their own inner walls were equal to Callin's. He shook his head in wonder at that, having always expected that he would never again see another will a mental fortress as strong as Callin's.
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In an infinitely empty, flat field of hollow gray, an ancient being lifted the skeletal fingers of its power to the skies. It could sense the Berserker was nearly free. It sensed its prison would fall soon.
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The twins found Callin in the hall, outside the door to Ahleena's bedroom. He was lying in a small pond of blood, a crimson circle backdrop framing a pale, unmoving black-haired boy.
They dashed to him, hearts in their throats, neither of them willing to let their thoughts travel down paths of desolation, paths that lead to their own minds fracturing forever if he died. They knew that they would come apart if he died, this new link between the three of them would pull their minds down into eternity with him.
"What happened to him?! What do we do?" Jen shrieked, on her knees in his blood, wringing her hands helplessly over him. Wanting to touch him but scared to do so.
Jesse kneeled on the other side of him and grabbed her sister's hands, holding so tightly she could feel her pain blossoming up through their own link. She needed Jen to calm down and focus.
"We are going to give his power back to him." She said, guiding Jens hands down to Callin's chest, pinning them against him with her own hands.
They both shut their eyes and nervously, cautiously, felt inside for that blazing, primal force they could feel in the background of their thoughts. That fiery, blue well of snapping power that was the essence of Callin, untamed and uncontrollable.
The moment they felt it, it rushed through them and into Callin, a sliding storm of crackling power that shook the air with a single thunderclap, the pressure wave blowing windows out into the night all down the hall.
Callin sat up, looking around in confusion. Why was his power lashing around so wildly, so frantically? It was hissing up and down his body like he was ready to fight or flee. But strangely, he felt calm, in control, and the world wasn't covered in a burning red haze. Then he saw the twins.
They were both standing well away from him, eyes wide, their hands linked and their power forming a visible, silver-yellow shield surrounding them from head to toe. He knew immediately they were holding onto the very ends of their power, ready for anything. Prepared to fight or flee. And he saw no one else in the hall.
"I'm not going to hurt you." He said, carefully climbing to his feet.
As he stood up, he sniffed at the air, a life-long habit of caution, using all of his senses to be fully aware of his surroundings. Except this time his nose returned nothing except the faint, coppery smell of his own blood.
He scowled as he realized his ears were strangely muffled, also. He couldn't hear the twin's heartbeats. It seemed once again his powers were acting strangely.
"Why is your power doing that?" Jesse asked, amazement coating her voice. Underlined by a hint of fear. Evidently they didn't exactly trust him at the moment.
Callin looked down at himself, confused at how his power was acting. It looked like he was covered entirely in an ever-shifting web of blue, electric power. It was snapping and lashing about. Every sharp change in the patterns was accompanied by a hair-raising, cutting-sharp CRACK sound.
Then, as he looked inside at his link to his power, he found two things that shook him to the very core. His link with Ahleena was gone. Entirely. And so was his own control, his own walls he used to hold back his power. And then he saw the bloody footprints on the floor. And he remembered that empty armor of his own bone, pure savage, pure rage. Uncontrolled.
The footprints had long claws at the tips, and a wicked looking point behind, like the foot had a rear-facing barb off the heel. They looked like human footprints crossed with some demon. Red marks of rage trailing down the hall, leading into the unknown.
"Here there be monsters." Callin whispered in horror, the line coming unbidden to his mind from some dark memory.
Then his power seemed to flare brighter, hotter, and it sent a bolt of pain directly into the center of his mind, sending him to his knees. It was truly out of control. Part of his mind realized that it was beginning to fray at the very edges of confinement. Like it was leaching outwards, coming apart, and taking him with it.
He growled low in his throat and threw his willpower into subduing it. He was not going to allow his own power to kill him!
He focused his mind as Ahleena had taught him. Forcing every aspect of his inner self into a single point. It seemed to work, bringing a moment of sweet relief from the cutting, crackling power he could feel trying to tear him apart from the inside. But it seemed that every time he achieved that level of focus, it would somehow shift sideways, darting around that single line of his control, slicing into him and sending him spiraling back down into confusion.
He sank forward onto his hands and knees, hanging his head, panting hoarsely. He could feel his body trembling, tiny shakes rippling through him in time with his darting, lashing power. He could feel those shakes intensifying. He could feel the damage growing.
He began to truly grow desperate, feeling the damage his own power was wreaking throughout his body. The desperation was borderline panic, held in check by the sure knowledge that if he let go and truly gave in to the rising fear, he would die. One fear pit against another.
Then, he felt two sets of hands on his back. Jen and Jesse, crouching next to him, touching him with their hands and their power. His shirt had been shredded by his bone armor, and the heat of their bare hands on his skin was stunning.
He watched inside his mind as the dual, silver-golden strands of their power began to wrap around his own. A weaving. A blending. Tightening down a web woven within his own power, controlling it so it wouldn't tear him apart.
Shock poured through him, lines of ice tracing down his every vein in a blinding instant, as he realized they were mind-linked to him. There was no other way for them to do what they were doing with his power. Confusion swirled right behind those thoughts. If he were linked to them, why couldn't he feel them in his mind like he had with his link with Ahleena? How could he be linked to TWO people at once? Did that mean they were linked to each other, through him?
Then, those questions were driven from his mind by a spreading warmth that was racing along the ephemeral edge between pain and pleasure. His healing power was back! It spread its warm relief through him in seconds, closing wounds all over his body, repairing deep internal damage caused by his power, and beginning to restore his senses.
He felt the twins let go of him and step away, although their power stayed tightly coupled with his. He could sense they intended to keep it that way, as it was most likely the only thing keeping him alive. The moment they let go, the moment the soothing warmth of their hands on his bare back faded, he found himself wishing they hadn't stepped away.
Then the warmth of his healing power stuttered, then dropped away suddenly. And exhaustion speared through him immediately after, sending him to his belly on the floor. The darkness that swirled up to claim him now wasn't terrifying. It was the soothing quietness of sleep, and he welcomed it, his eyes sagging shut and his breathing steadying. Then he knew no more.
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Jacob stood outside the door to the med lab, a wry smile on his lips. The door had a piece of paper taped to it. It read "Callin's room".
He supposed it was an accurate label. It almost seemed like Callin had spent more time in the med lab than he had in his own bedroom ever since he had come to the mansion. He pushed the door open and quietly stepped into the darkened room, wondering if Callin ever thought the same thing. Callin had been in a near coma for three days now, and Jacob worried that somehow, the new True Link with the twins was partly responsible for it.
He had never heard of a mind-link being shared three ways. It defied his understanding of how minds were woven together by a mind-link. He would never have believed it possible if it hadn't just happened here, under his own roof, right in front of him. It didn't help matters that the twins flatly refused to allow him to examine their link.
In fact, they had maintained that impossibly complete wall around their minds ever since they had linked with Callin. A wall so thorough that he doubted he could get through it without resorting to telepathic violence.
He sat down in one of the chairs next to Callin's bed, scowling at the floor as he thought of how uncommunicative the twins had been for the last three days. He could barely get them to even say hello to him in the morning, and they spoke to no one else, either. He wished he could get them to help him in his search for Ahleena, Carmen, and Raina.
It baffled him completely. The moment he felt Ahleena and Raina fade away, which he had never felt before and couldn't imagine how it could be done, he had felt that dangerous, almost alien pressure that had been surrounding the mansion fade away with them. Almost as if it had taken them with it. But how could that be? There seemed to be no way to find the answer to that, but he was hoping Callin could help him. Maybe Callin could find them, his unique abilities giving him an edge over Jacob's own telepathic searching.
For the last three days, he had sent his powers soaring far and wide, combing the psychic sea for their unique signatures. And he had been unable to find even a trace of any of them. He had sent Jace, Kevin, and Levi to scour the woods around the mansion. They had searched from sun up to sun down for three days and found nothing.
"That's a lot of heavy sighing and teeth grinding for an old man." Callin mumbled, making Jacob jerk his head up in surprise.
"You're awake!" Jacob exclaimed.
"No. Just talking in my sleep." Callin said, rolling over onto his side, pulling his pillow tighter to his neck. Getting comfortable.
"You've been sleeping for three days." He said to Callin's back.
Callin laid very still. Then he grumbled low in his throat and sat up, staring bleary-eyed at Jacob.
"Think I could get a cup of coffee somehow?"
"It's on its way."
Callin climbed out of bed, scowling at his nakedness.
"Why is it every time I wake up in the med lab I'm butt naked?"
Jacob couldn't suppress a grin at Callin's baffled outrage. "Because you tend to shred your clothes to pieces. And if there are any left on you, they are usually covered in blood. Not really a clean, healthy environment for healing."
Callin tilted his head up slightly and sniffed the air, then headed over to the drawers in the corner of the room. He hadn't scented his own clothes, but the thick, white terry cloth robe that was kept in the med lab was in the drawers. As he pulled it on, he heard two, nearly identical sets of approaching footsteps. And he felt a surge of relief that his senses were back to their normal level, keeping him acutely aware of his surroundings.
A moment later, the door swung open and Jen and Jesse stepped in. Jen was holding a travel thermos and a coffee mug and Jesse was holding a large, covered platter. The scent of fresh coffee, eggs, toast, and bacon flooded the room. To Callin, it almost felt like it reached deep inside of him and woke a dragon in his belly. He couldn't believe how hungry he was, feeling like his stomach was trying to claw its way out to get to the food sooner.
"We were just preparing breakfast when Jacob told us you were awake. And that you were extremely hungry." Jesse said, setting the platter down on the counter and stepping back by the door.
"So we brought you a dozen fried eggs and a whole thermos of coffee." Jen said, also setting down the thermos and coffee mug and stepping back by the door.
Callin narrowed his eyes at them, scenting the air again. Sifting past the almost overpowering scent of fresh food, to find their scents. They were wary. He could smell it. Not scared, exactly. But they were ready for anything, their scent full of the complex tones of caution, aggression, a touch of fear, and adrenaline.
"Thanks." He said, deciding to ignore their scents.
He hardly knew what to think at the moment, his thoughts so centered on eating that he felt like he could barely keep his mind moving in one, clear, structured direction.
As he walked over to the counter to the food, he noticed the twins stepping further back from him. He scowled at them, irritated at their caution.
"What do you think I'm going to do? Decide you two might taste better than this breakfast and jump you?" He growled, pouring the steaming coffee into the mug.
The twins flicked a glance at each other, their faces flushing bright red. They didn't reply, standing quietly by the doorway. Watching him warily. He shook his head at them and began to eat, not bothering to bring his food to the small table in the corner of the room.
A small part in the back of his mind was clamoring for attention. A dark, bloody knot of memory. What had happened with his link with Ahleena? Why had Carmen rejected it, rejected him?
That thought sent a spiraling line of pain and hurt deep inside. Spiraling deeper and deeper, cutting him in places and in ways he didn't know he could be cut. In ways he didn't know he could bleed. In places where his healing power couldn't help him.
The eggs and toast turned to ashes in his mouth. His fork clattered from his hand and he laid his face in his palms, beginning to shake. He felt like the tips of his fingers were being dipped in molten steel, a familiar feeling, yet not. The sensation just before his claws sliced their way out. But this time, the rippling burning didn't fade. It didn't change, either.
He lifted his head to stare in confusion at his fingers. He flexed them, willing his claws to slide out. Nothing happened. He focused his will and gritted his teeth, curling his hands and tensing his muscles. Commanding his claws to come out. His claws did not come out, but the heat at their tips intensified suddenly, making him yelp and step backwards, shaking his hands frantically, futilely.
"Do not do that." Jesse said quietly, firmly.
"Ouch." Jen said equally quietly, looking at the tips of her fingers in amazement and fear.
Callin turned to face them, his lips thin and cold and hard.
"Let me go." He growled.
"No. If we do, you will die." Jesse stated, meeting his dark gaze with her own, fierce look.
"We are holding...holding you together, Callin." Jen said, a note of pleading in her voice, holding up her hands placatingly.
Callin could feel their power inside. Entwined completely with his. Holding it tight, holding it down. Holding it from him. It sent a river of fury through him, washing him head to toe in icy adrenaline. He felt both trapped and violated. Completely.
"Let me go!" He snarled viciously, taking a threatening step towards them.
Invisible bands of air, harder than the hardest steel, suddenly wrapped around him, pinning his arms to his sides and locking his legs together.
"Callin! Stop and think! The twins hold a mind-link with you! Surely you can feel they are only trying to help you."
Callin turned his head, the only part of him that could still move, and met Jacob's eyes.
"Let me go. You do NOT want to piss me off further."
"Not until you calm down."
Callin shut his eyes and focused his mind. Focused his entire being as tightly as he could. Envisioning his entire self as a single line, a single cutting edge amidst the seething sea of psychic energy all around him, all around the world. It took a few minutes, but eventually he felt stable enough to open his eyes. He was not calm. But he was focused. Intent on being free of whatever had been done to him by the twins, intent on physically breaking the bonds of telekinesis Jacob had wrapped around him.
It was the first time he had ever focused this deep, this stable, and been able to open his eyes and stay there. And he found himself blinking in total amazement. Everywhere he looked, he saw a shifting storm of colors. Colors of every hue imaginable, and then beyond what he could imagine. A bewildering array of color, moving and swirling and shifting, within every object he looked. And flaring brighter, hotter, than he could hardly bear, within the twins and Jacob.
He realized he was seeing the actual psionic power of reality. An entire universe of infinite complexity, woven tightly to the physical world. Like a second skin! He thought in shock, reminded of the Flayers and the Torn and of how his own armor had once coated Ahleena and protected her.
The nature of psionic power itself seemed to be just behind, just underneath, all reality. Like an inverted second skin. He understood now. He could see how those who could access that power used their minds to strip away reality, to pull and fray at the lines that held everything together. Stripping it back in order to access that flowing river of chaotic power.
He understood why his own power was trying to tear him apart. His bone armor wasn't in him. It had left, it had ripped itself right out of him and walked away. And his bone armor was that barrier inside of him, that coating that kept his power under control. Without it, he was bared to that seething, shifting sea. Vulnerable like he had never been before. It felt like even the walls of his mental willpower around his inner self was gone. Shredded by his bone armor when it had broken free.
"That's better." Jacob said encouragingly, mistaking his steady silence for calm. He could feel how focused Callin was, and it set his mind at ease, knowing Callin was in control.