That evening was no way pleasant. The winds changed their course, turned chillier. A deadly calmness descended in already isolated place. She stood before him, fidgeting with her dupatta nervously, reflecting the state of her mind. He took one last puff of cigarette...closed his eyes savoring the taste of it. Last Puff ..Ahh.. heaven. The smoke made its way out. She waved a hand, turned face sidewards clearing the cloud of smoke. She hated smokers, but what an irony! she lost her heart and everything to one.
Wow! He threw his cigarette butt down and stamped it out and turned to face his object of attraction all these months.
" You almost scared me over the call. Relax sweetheart!" He patted her cheek lightly ."There's nothing to worry. We should have been more careful. But accidents do happen you know! Jis doctor ne confirm kiya, ask her to get rid of it." His said casually. Stunned, she tried to make sense of his words.
"You can't mean ..." Her words trembled as she grasped meaning behind his words. 'Abortion?'
A smirk was his answer.
"No! This ..this is wrong!" She cried in protest." I told you because....you...you need to talk to my maa, baba and we should get married, as soon as possible before this...this..." Shame took over her. Only if she didn't give in to his demands then. She struggled to find her words "before everyone gets to know ..we should." She held his hand and searched his eyes for some assurance.
"Whoa whoa! relax girl! He snatched his hand " If I go around marrying every girl whom I slept with... ab tak tho mera record hota, you know! Shaadi and all that ...not my style. We met, had fun, That's it. I don't like when girls turn clingy, emotional and start acting like sati savitri and all. So I guess, We are done ."
She turned pale as white as chalk. Tears pooled in her eyes. Is this the same guy who vowed to love her for a lifetime, showered her with promises of commitment? This can't be him .. who didn't care a bit about her and little life within her and was leaving ...her midway in chaos.
"You can't do this to me," she said loud enough for him to hear. Tears spilled out her eyes as she held his hand with her trembling ones, " You promised me. I will be ruined. Please...I," Her voice quivered, " I love you and you said you love me too and this," She placed a hand gently on the stomach, "It is ours... ye Hamara."
Enough! She stumbled backward at the force of his words.
"I said I am done with you. So stop all this drama. Mujhe pehle hi sochna chahiye tha.Girls like you are a nuisance,lekin mujhe laga, let me try a different one this time. Meek, timid and sanskari kinds ..but I was wrong " He shook his head, "Let me make it clear for once and all, "We are over, Ragini..."
And he walked off without a second glance.
Her entire being shook as her world fell apart at that moment. Ragini sank down slowly onto the floor, her whole life turned upside down. He never loved her..never and she was a fool. A fool to trust him, love him with all her life, with her everything but for him, she had been a shiny new toy to play with and then tossed off, mercilessly.
He loved her.No, he didn't. He did. No. He did. Didn't
No ! Ragini clutched her spinning head at the attack of voices from within screaming at her. His every word was like a blow like someone knocked every wisp of air from her lungs and left her to die. She slowly raised her head looked at his leaving form, a blurry image midst tears. How could he? How could ...
"Sanskaar ..." She screamed with all her life but her voice never reached him.
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After Year and Half
He waited for her. It had been his routine from the past two days. Standing before her college, with a hope to catch a glimpse of her. Only that could put him to the rest. He wished they both were from the same college. His friends called him obsessed, for his craziness for her was no secret.
She was supposed to meet him before two days as pre-decided, but she didn't. Those two days, only he knew, how he turned into a maniac. His every call and message unattended, there was no trace of her. He knew, he broke a promise made to her, that he would never come down to her college. But he had to. He would die if he didn't get to see her today.
Maybe his friends were right. His love for 'mystery girl' like his friends called, was an obsession. But this very obsession had become his very reason for survival
He was almost tempted to smoke. A puff could ease his tension.No! He dismissed the idea. Nothing ..other than her was his need of the moment
Then she walked out of the college gate at the end. He smiled. A sight of her was all he needed. He thought he would be angry for her disappearing act, but now all that mattered was, she's here.
He didn't wait for a minute rushed and stood before, startling her.
Before she could say a word, he hugged her as if she was the next breath needed. His life was back at that very moment. " Kaha reh gayi thi tum. You have no clue of what I had been through. Naa call ka jawab diya, na message ka ...why do you do this to me? "You know how much I love you and I would die without you. Don't you? "
She stood silent. Not a word.
"Kuch toh bolo.. Say you love me too. Say you would never leave me like this again" He drew back, his hands cupping her face softly. He loved hearing those 3 words from her. .His eyes lingered on her face for long. This, Just for this glimpse of her, he would give away his life " Shona..."
And she stepped back.
"I told you not to come over here," She started walking and he followed her. He knows she would be angry, but wasn't she happy to see him? He held her hand. She didn't turn to face him, but his eyes were fixed on her "I know and I am sorry. I couldn't. Main reh nahi reh paaya...iss liye. Jaan nikal gayi thi meri " he admitted helplessly.
She turned to him, " Ab iski aadat daal do...Because I am leaving you. We are over."
Those words did not sink in first ."You are joking right! Gussa ho tum isliye na.." He asked pushing away the dread gripping his heart." Tho daanto na cheeko ,chillavo ,ek thappad maro but never ever say so .." He stepped closer only to be pushed away.
" Didn't you hear. It's over."
"We are not .." he grabbed her shoulder tight like he wanted to grip his slipping life. His rage softened as he looked into her eyes. He loved them a lot. He was utterly smitten by them right from their first meet " You can't ..." he mumbled, "I love you and you love me..."
"I never did, "She declared in a clear impassive tone. He stood dumbfounded.
"Jhoot," He shook his head in denial, "you love me .." His stupid heart was not willing to give in, "You said you love me. All those moments we were together, those letters, messages, calls, our love and the night we..."
"Sab Natak tha.It's a lie. I never loved you" She cut him in between. And she could see the pain in his eyes, in tears that flowed out and look of horror and confusion on his face. This is what she wanted. To leave him in this state, broken and ripped apart just like he did with Ragini. But he should know...
"Dard ho raha hai..Takleef ho raha hai? Hoga.. Can you just imagine the pain my sister would have felt when you did this to her? Ragini! Kuch yaad aaya?"
He was in no state to think, but why did this name sound familiar?
" Ra ..Ragini.." He mumbled.
"Oh! Now you will say you never knew her!" Her tone mocked him.
Sanskaar nodded. "Swara .. trust me." He clutched her hand in a desperate need "There was never another girl in my life other than you. Sirf tum ho. sirf tum. Maine sirf tumse pyaar kiya hain. Please trust me."
She snatched her hand back, " Trust? You better not talk about that Sanskaar Maheshwari. Tumhare muh se acha nahi lagta hain. "Now her voice spewed hatred on. "Well, I got what I wanted. I hope we would never meet again."
He stood numbly as she walked away. All he knew was, his life was leaving him. She can't she Cant. He rushed behind her " Swara .. Swara ..Tumhe kuch galat fehmi hui hain. I don't know any Ragini, trust me aur mere Pyaar sach hain . I really loved you Swara. I .. I love you, I really do ... I... "But she didn't seem to bother until he grabbed her hand back, turned her to face him.
"Mar jaunga tumhare bina." He said, his eyes full of tears.
A minute of silence hanged around.
"Tho mar jao" Naked hatred flashed in her eyes. The same eyes which showered him with love all these months, the same love which became his reason for existence...and now they didn't.
And she left.
He stood frozen. The night already dawned upon and the sky opened up as he sank down lifelessly in middle of the road. "I never loved you" Those words echoed again and again. Tears spilled out in a never-ending stream. He looked at her, walking away.
"Swara..." he screamed his heart out "Mat jao mujhe chod kar. Please, Swara."
And then something hit him. A sharp pain was all he felt before he dashed to the ground. Blood slowly pooled beneath him...but it was his heart that bled. His eyes caught the last sight of her retreating form. He slowly raised his hand in an attempt to call her, but his body gave up and the hand dropped down slowly, but his eyes didn't.
"Swa...ra"
He took her name for one last time and then everything descended to black.
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This is back...because I was missing intense and emotional stuff. Part 1 will be up tomorrow. Update schedule, still working around.
Thanks for reading
Love
Lucky