Funny Sayings

By Zapper1

75.8K 1.6K 1.8K

the title says it all, these are in fact funny sayings that I've heard and decided to write down. I hope you... More

First bite
Round Two
Three Whishes For More
im running out of things to name the chapters
That awkward moment
More than enough
PURE AWESOMENESS
The Awesomeness Continues
FINALLY!
LOL
:)
ch. 13
Mwhahahaha

Pick Up Lines

7.1K 146 145
By Zapper1

Ø  Do you have a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself in them.

Ø  Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? 

Ø  Do your feet hurt? Cause you’ve been running through my mind all day.

Ø  Are you a laser? Cause you’ve got to be stuck on stunning!

Ø  If you were a booger I'd pick you first.

Ø  That’s a nice outfit. It would look better crumpled up at the end of my bed.

Ø  I seemed to have lost my number; do you think I can have yours?

Ø  If you were a Pokémon, I’d choose you.

Ø  Is your name Pikachu? Cause I choose you.

Ø  Are you a Pokémon, cause I wanna peek-at-chu’!

Ø  How about you sit on my lap, and we’ll talk about whatever comes up.

Ø  Are you a thief? Cause you just stole my heart.

Ø  If a guy in a red coat puts you in a bag tonight don’t worry its Santa, I told him I wanted you for Christmas.

Ø  Are you wearing space pants? Cause your butt is outa this world.

Ø  I just pooped my pants; can I get into yours?

Ø  How many guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? All of them cause they just saw you.

Ø  Did you just throw a flash bang? Cause I’m stunned.

Ø  I’m thirsty, how about a nice tall glass of mount and do me.

Ø  You need some ice stat, you’re burning up!!! Come hold onto me.

Ø  Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet but nothing compared to you.

Ø  Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

Ø  If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put u and I together.

Ø  Is your dad a terrorist? Cause baby your da bomb

Ø  If you were a library book, I’d never bring you back.

Ø  You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life.

Ø  Boy: how much does a polar bear weigh?

Girl: how much?

Boy: enough to break the ice.

Ø  You must be an Oreo… because you’re my favorite cookie.

Ø  Boy: hey baby you must be from Jamaica, because Jamaican me horny. Girl: You must be from the Yukon… because Yukon go screw yourself.

Ø  Boy: hey baby you must be a general because you’re making my privates stand at attention.    Girl: hmmm… They’re still a major disappointment.

Ø  Cupid called, he says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

Ø  Is your name Google? Cause you’re everything I’m looking for.

Ø  I was so enchanted by you’re beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

Ø  If beauty were time, you’d be eternity.

Ø  Can I have directions? (To where) your heart.

Ø  Do you have a Band-Aid? Cause I just scrapped my knee falling for you.

Ø  Do you have a map? Im getting lost in your eyes.

Ø  You shouldn’t wear makeup, its messing with perfection.

Ø  You know you’re in love when you cant fall asleep because reality is finally better then your dreams.

Ø  There isn’t a word in the dictionary for how good you look.

Ø  Me without you is like a nerd without braces, shoes with out laces, aSentenceWithOutSpaces.

Ø  If you were words on a page you’d be what they call FINE PRINT.

Ø  Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye, wait no that’s just a sparkle.

Ø  I bet you 20$ you’re going to turn me down.

Ø  You’re like a candy bar, half sweet and half nuts.

Ø  I didn’t know that angels could fly so low.

Ø  Are you going to kiss me? Or am I going to have to lie to my diary?

Ø  Your lips look so lonely… would they like to meet mine?

Ø  Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Ø  The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.

Ø  I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock.

Ø  Wouldn’t we look good on a wedding cake together?

Ø  Were you talking to me? (No) oh well please start.

Ø  Was your father an alien? Cause theirs nothing else like you on earth.

Ø  Your daddy must have been a baker because you’ve got a nice set of buns.

Ø  My name isn’t Elmo but you can tickle me anytime you want.

Ø  You remind me of a magnet, cause your attracting me over here.

Ø  Is there a rainbow today? Cause I just found the treasure I’ve been searching for.

Ø  Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

Ø  Should I smile because were friends? Or cry because I know that’s what well always be?

Ø  If the star fell every time I thought of you, the sky would be empty.

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