Septem
(His name meant seven. He hated it.)
9S walks, mind blank except for the information concerning a certain boy circling in his head. Over and over again.
Septem. Male. 7 years old.
(He was adopted a year before 9S came into this world.)
He walks and walks. Feet heavy as lead and mouth dry as a desert. He swallows, feeling an incoming dizzy spell.
From Victoria Orphanage.
(He wasn't transferred to another orphanage.)
He focuses on breathing, but the world still warps. His eyes grow heavy and he starts feeling sick.
Septem is a quiet and smart child. He's always reading something and you can never see him without a book. He's kind and polite, albeit a little awkward. We were worried at first that he wouldn't make any friends, but that proved to be unnecessary as he got along well with his peers.
Peers, 9S thinks to himself, that has to be his group of friends, right? Where were they now? Who are they?
(Too many questions.)
"Nines?"
What did it even matter if 9S didn't know all these things?
"Hello? Nines?"
Logically, nothing. But... something just didn't feel right if he didn't know.
"Um..."
As if he was missing the big picture.
"Nines!"
9S yelps. "Ahh!" Heart jumping and senses clicking back into place. Awareness flooded into him and along came embarrassment as Ventuna's face, perfectly alike to Operator 21O's, came into vision. Her two red-headed friends were frowning in the background. 9S' thought processing engine gracious supplied him with an eloquent thought: oh no.
"Are you okay, Nines?" Ventuna's eyebrows were furrowed and her arms were crossed. An identical picture. It was as if 9S was staring at Operator 21O. Her hair was even styled the same way...
9S blinked hard to prevent himself from being swayed into another daze. He'll ponder on the past later when he's alone.
"You've been out of it all day," Ventuna says and it feels as if her words held something else in them other than concern. Suspicion? Is Ventuna the type of person to even be suspicious of others? Or perhaps that's just 9S' memories filling in the gaps. Operator 21O wore suspicion beautifully and often. As well as bemusement. 9S couldn't remember a time in which she didn't express them.
(He could. It was when her eyes were a blazing crimson and her weapon drawn out, pointing towards him.
9S couldn't help but scream.)
"It's... okay if you're not feeling well," Popola says in her usual soft manner. Her eyes, in comparison to Devola's, were slightly droopy and she held a lazy atmosphere.
Devola, however, sighs and 9S could hear mock disappointment. "Just when we thought we could hang out with 'Tuna's," She started to imitate Ventuna's voice,"adorable, intelligent little brother."
"... 'Tuna?" 9S couldn't help but mutter.
"That's what you're focusing on?!" Ventuna yells, face as red as the twins' hairs.
He couldn't help it if he was being completely honest with himself. Ventuna was nothing like a fish and so the nickname was... Was...
9S snorted.
"Don't laugh!"
—
It was nice of them to even think of inviting him on their hangout (9S was so shocked when he saw Devola. He was so sure that he wouldn't see her again. Devola had waved a carefree hand and gave an easy-going smile.) but 9S was honestly feeling a little bit left out. The three would talk and talk about things he couldn't understand. When he asked, all he got in response was a flippant: eh, it's girl stuff from Devola.
What even was girl stuff?
Female Androids and Male Androids held no difference except for their bodies. What makes humans so different in that aspect?
9S pondered. Was it sexual desire? 9S will admit that such... vices existed in Androids. He definitely felt flustered when 2B continuously insisted that she couldn't feel anything during maintenance. Her sensitivity should've been on!
9S sighs. 2B...
For now, 9S thinks he'll store "girl stuff" in his databanks. Who knows? It might come in handy one day.
9S' feet continue walking forward automatically, but slow as they pass by a curious looking shop. Are those flowers?
"Oh!" Popola's eyes brighten up. "A flower shop!"
Devola smiles fondly. "You always liked flowers, huh?"
Ventuna giggles. "Remember when she tried making her own tiny garden in the dorms? People were furious!"
"Plants needs soil! Of course, things would get dirty!" Popola huffs and pouts. It looks like the memory still stirred some intense emotions.
9S, however, couldn't keep his eyes off a particular flower. The flower was alone and settled in a vase. He titled his head slightly. Weren't flowers usually clumped together or something?
Wasn't that a Lunar Tear? It was jarring to see a Lunar Tear by itself. 9S was used to seeing them surrounded by others in that field, glowing and beautiful yet oddly sorrowful. Aesthetically melancholy. However, this one was alone. Why would they do that? In his peripheral vision, he witnessed other Lunar Tears grouped together happily. This lonely Lunar Tear, despite looking alike, did not belong.
He strangely felt like he could relate.
...Was he projecting onto a flower?
(Pathetic.)
"It looks like you've caught your eyes on a white lily!" Ventuna chirps. "They're pretty as always."
White... lily? So, they weren't called Lunar Tears? They looked so alike.
"Well, to be accurate... They're stargazer lilies." Popola says meekly.
(9S could vividly remember standing there. In that field of Lunar Tears, 2B's sword... and her blind.)
His eyes left the lily and landed on another flower. This was a pot of blues and whites. The flowers themselves looked small and petite. They were cute.
"Forget-Me-Not..." Popola muttered. "Such beautiful flowers with such a sad meaning."
9S could infer from the name, but just in case, "What do they mean?"
"True and undying love," She started, "Remembrance... of partings. Or death."
"But that's not all." Devola cuts in. It seems like she learned a few from being with her sister for a long time. "Fidelity and loyalty in a relationship, despite separation or other challenges. Reminders of your favorite memories or time together with another person."
"And growing affection between two people." Popola smiles at her sister and they share a fist bump. "There's more, but that's basically the gist of it."
9S blinks slowly, absorbing the information. The two had recited it as if they memorized it off the Wikipedia. (The Wikipedia... always had answers. It was amazing.) "Um." He points to the lone Lily. "A-and this?"
"Purity and sympathy." Popola sighs and stares at the lonely flower. "I wonder why they decided to leave this alone? They look a lot more pretty with others."
9S bit his lip, an urge stirring inside him. He was always the type to follow his urges, much to Operator 21O's ire. But, did he even know how to care for life?
What even is life? Was 9S alive in those wastelands? Was 2B or Operator 21O? What about the Commander? Or any Android for that matter.
Were Androids alive? Did their deaths have meaning? Is death even death without life in the first place?
What about the machines? Adam and Eve. Did he and 2B even kill them if they never had life?
But what if they did?
And if they didn't— did that mean that... in that place, life didn't exist? No no no— that can't be right. There was the earth, the animals, the fishes that weren't machines.
Where? Where is the boundary?
"I think I'll buy these flowers." Ventuna's voice— so easily mistaken for Operator 21O's— was strong and piercing like a flashlight in the dark. There was a tone in her voice that carried her usual light but had a certain steely feel that made it sound as if she was determined. Like she made up her mind and she wasn't backing down.
But why? What was she fighting? 9S looks closer, his excellent vision searching. What was in her gaze? What was he looking at?
It was at that moment that Ventuna's eyes met his and 9S knew. From the small creases on her forehead to the unwavering stare of her's— eyelids blinking the minimum. 9S knew and he didn't know what to feel about it. Anger? Frustration? Gratitude? Relief?
Ventuna gives a wink and 9S pushes down the ugly emotions. He lets it swirl and mix and mingle with one another. Poison meeting poison and acid threatening to spew out his mouth. Human emotions are terrifying. They're amplified and cause 9S' fingers to twitch and his throat burn.
So he returns the wink with a weak grin and Ventuna goes off, carrying the two flowers, saying something like 'I'm going to find this lily some friends. They're much more beautiful with others!' Did that action mean something?
Ventuna comes back with a smile that emits victory and 9S' stomach drops. Without hesitation or embarrassment, she shows the vase and pot in her arms with confidence. The blues and whites in the pot are the exact same as the one he saw before she left, however, the lily is no longer by its lonesome and has other lilies around it. It was so easy to just assume that they were supposed to be together from the start.
9S gingerly takes the vase and stares at the flowers he had initially mistaken to be Lunar Tears. It takes a surprisingly a large amount of effort to open his mouth.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome!" Ventuna chirps.
—
9S waves Devola and Popola goodbye. He strains to keep his smile on his face as they wave back.
9S remembers a time in which he loved social interaction. He remembers wanting this. But emotional fatigue weighs him down, making his bones feel like lead. It was so much easier as an Android. As a human, each emotion is turned up all the way to eleven. It physically hurts how taxing emotions can be.
(9S thought he felt enough when 2B died. He thought he finally lost it when all that filled his head was destruction. After all, nothing had meaning at that point.)
"Let's head home," Ventuna says and 9S simply nods. She takes the lead and he follows, gaze attached to the floor. "You seem... kind of down." She whispers, but he hears it and he knows that she knew it.
9S shrugs, eyes peeling itself off the concrete. He stares ahead. "Simply tired." He says dismissively. "Anyway," He starts, quickly changing the conversation. Did that come off as suspicious? "A linguist and a bioengineer?"
Ventuna chuckles. "That's what they want to be!As you already know, Popola is passionate about biology. Or like, anything about plants to be honest. Devola is interested in languages, which is really surprising!" She splutters for a second. "N-not that I thought anything bad about her!"
9S didn't think she did so he shrugged once more. It didn't seem like Ventuna knew any more than she already told him so he decided to just store that information for now. Perhaps update it whenever he felt was necessary. Or he could just update his databanks when he got home. Knowledge is valuable, after all. "You study Tourism." He says and Ventuna nods, seemingly having understood his train of thought.
"We're dorm mates." She explains and when 9S raises an eyebrow, she says, "Yeah. All three of us."
"Mothe—" 9S coughs. "Mum never told me about Devola and Popola." Mother was usually the one who is more updated with Ventuna's life and is always excited to share with the rest of the family.
"My old dorm mates moved or something," Ventuna says. "I don't really know the details, but Devola and Popola ended staying in my dorm."
"And you didn't tell mum?"
Ventuna shrugs. "Didn't think it was important enough to share with her."
9S mock hums in thought. "That's weird." For added effect, he rests his hand on his chin, posture curious.
"Why?"
"'Cuz mum asked me to make tiny surveillance cameras to keep an eye on you at all times." 9S lies. It comes out smooth and blunt. The lie is so unbelievable that it's obviously a joke, but have a speckle of possibility (9S certainly has the capabilities of bugging Ventuna's room.)
Ventuna chokes. "W-what—"
"Just kidding." He says and gets punched in the arm. He laughs in response. 9S' hands hold the vase tighter and he avoids looking at the flowers that Ventuna was holding.
"You're terrible," Ventuna complains but has a smile on her face. She opens the door to the (their) house. She looks in and breathes. "Home sweet home." Her voice is filled with nostalgia. She stopped by with Devola and Popola earlier to pick him up suddenly, but they didn't linger. She must've missed this place.
9S slips off his shoes, insides cold at the thought of Ventuna feeling at home. It wasn't a bad thing. Certainly not. He was glad to have her back, but— he looks at her and notices her form relaxing and how she immersed herself in the atmosphere, safe and carefree— he couldn't help but feel envious. What was home to him? The bunker? The ruined city?
No. Definitely not.
He... appreciated the house that Ventuna grew up and where Nines— Septem— was accepted into, but he can't help but feel like an intruder.
But he smiles and enters the living room, trailing after Ventuna who spreads her arms open to greet her parents, grins on their faces. The warmth continues spreading, wrapping itself into everything it could in the setting.
But 9S watches, smile frozen on his face and that same ice encase him and his sickening emotions until it's nothing but rock solid and unmoving. It can't be melted and 9S will make sure it never will be.
These ugly feelings can stay with him until the day he breathes his last. Again.
—
The unfortunate thing about having Ventuna around during her term break is that 9S can't investigate. His entire being shakes with the urge to continue his mission but he can't. Ventuna often comes into his room unannounced or make decisions for him.
So 9S sits pretty, avoid suspicion and subvert any possible attention to his... work.
Currently, his only plan was to turn in for the night. Y'know, sleep at a reasonable time like all good children do. But even that mundane task was disturbed.
9S wakes up to the sound of the door creaking open. His door wasn't particularly noisy, but 9S is an incredibly light sleeper (he had to be) so that added to the soft noise of feet walking caused his eyes to open.
Ventuna, because he knows it's her, comes in and closes the door as quietly as she could. It's at that moment that 9S decides to speak. "You don't have to try so hard, y'know." He intended to speak softly and slowly so she wouldn't get startled, but it seems like she did anyway.
Ventuna lets out an all too quiet curse and breathes in and out. "What the fu—" She pauses, "Fudge. Why are you still awake?"
"I was asleep."
Ventuna raises an eyebrow and plops herself on the edge of his bed. He doesn't make an effort to sit up, instead, he looks at her eyes, not that she would know that since it was dark. "You're still a super light sleeper?"
"I wish I wasn't." That was a half-truth. He's sometimes grateful for being aware of his surroundings despite being asleep. And other times, it was a shame. There's something alluring about unconsciousness.
"Sorry, bro," It was still so weird hearing that directed towards him, "but we're going to have a sibling talk."
He didn't want to. "Okay."
Ventuna shifts and sneaks her way underneath his covers. 9S politely makes space for her. After fidgeting for a little bit, it seems like she was satisfied enough to start talking. "So."
"So." He echoes. 9S is absolutely not starting this conversation. All he wanted to do was sleep.
"Today," Ventuna says. "You were feeling down." He knew that Ventuna was stubborn, but he was honestly not feeling up to this. What time even was it?
He averts his gaze towards his digital clock by his bed. 1 am? 9S wanted to sleep, but Ventuna won't leave until she's satisfied. Okay, how should he word this? Irritably, Ventuna is quite keen on emotions. Operator 21O was the same but chose to ignore those kinds of stuff and focus on work. Clearly, Ventuna didn't feel the same way.
"I ended up thinking about something that upset me." Septem. Victoria Orphanage. Too many questions. Too many mysteries. How long must 9S continue on like this? Why was he doing this to himself? He could end it all and it wouldn't even matter so why? "So I spaced out a bit." Lunar Tears. Androids.
"Okay..." Ventuna says slowly. "But that doesn't explain why you... uh." She seems hesitant? Then why even start this whole thing? "You didn't seem to like the flowers... was I wrong?" Was I wrong into thinking that you wanted them?
Ah. He got it now.
"You weren't wrong," 9S says, "and... I guess it was sweet of you for buying it for me." He won't lie— he had wanted those flowers. He got attached. It wasn't like him, but it might have been a part of him that wanted something. He didn't know what that something was.
"Then why?"
Why indeed. Was it because he resented Ventuna looking through him? He didn't want anyone to pity him? But why? Didn't he want to be understood? Didn't he crave for someone to care for him, even if it was about the smallest things?
Ugly. He truly was an ugly person and those ugly emotions tasted like bile.
There's no other choice but to lie. 9S opened his mouth, tone set neutral and casual. "I was embarrassed." He says. "Because you bought it for me. In front of your friends. I could've done it myself."
Ventuna's lips pursed.
"I'm sorry." And that was the truth. He was sorry for feeling anger. He was sorry for feeling something unjustifiable. 9S can't take this organ— heart. It's too much for him. If only he could reach in and just rip it out.
Perhaps then he could regain control over himself.
"Haha... I guess this is my fault." Ventuna chuckles to herself. "Completely forgot all about guys and their manly pride." She slowly reached her hand out into the darkness. 9S took her hand in his. "I was just trying to be a good big sister."
9S stays silent. A big sister.
"I- uh..." It was weird hearing her stutter. "You're my lil bro." She says as if that explained everything. "Sometimes you concern me, Nines. A-and when you called me..."
A stupid move on his part. He really shouldn't have done that. "I believe you're overthinking." Stay away. "I'm sorry for worrying you, but I'm seriously fine."
"You've been strangely distant, Nines," Ventuna says and the statement makes the poison in his heart leave a bitter taste in his mouth. "You can tell me what's happening."
But the thing was that he couldn't. 9S imagines Nines and Ventuna. Best friends. Adopted little brother with his not-related-by-blood sister. What kind of expression would that sister, who loved her brother so much, make when she found out that the person in front of her wasn't even her brother?
What would she do? What would she say? Too many risks and, unfortunately, 9S didn't trust her enough to even have a fleeting thought of telling her. He couldn't and he won't.
"... Maybe next time."
It seems like his words agitated her. Ventuna sat up quicker than 9S expected, the bed creaking in protest. He could feel his heart thumping in reaction, startled. "Why?" Her voice was barely above a whisper but held so much anguish in it. Did he hear a small voice crack? Why is she so... so-
Ventuna makes a move to turn on his lamp and 9S sits up even faster than Ventuna did. He grabs her wrist and when she reached out with her other hand, he took hold of that one too. "...What are you doing, Nines?" She asks, peering in his direction through her hair. Her eyes don't meet his and that's only because of the lack of light, which is exactly why 9S didn't want her to turn on his lamp.
If she saw him, who knows what she will see. Even 9S can't see himself in his reflection. Who was that person? So alien and familiar...
"If you turn on the lights, mum and dad will find out that we're awake." It was a mundane problem to Ventuna, but hopefully, this poor excuse will be enough if Ventuna considers his age. How old was he again? Wasn't he young? Ah... thirteen? Was that age young enough for his pathetic excuse?
Ventuna was silent for a while, body unmoving before she slowly lowered her arms and 9S let's go off her arms at the same pace, ready to snatch back her wrists if she tries anything.
They end up sitting on the bed, quiet.
He... He just used Ventuna's good nature for his own benefit...
9S stares at Ventuna, but it was as if she completely shielded herself away from him. All 9S sees is a young woman, pale blonde hair covering parts of her face as she stared down at the sheets she couldn't really see. He couldn't read her.
With Ventuna being oddly silent and her posture straight, it was easy to convince himself that the person in front of him was Operator 21O. It was that encouragement that drove him into wrapping his arms around her. 9S closed his eyes shut and breathed. Operator 21O was the one he was holding and it was Operator 21O who, almost shyly, returned the hug.
I'm sorry, he wants to say to her. I couldn't save you. I couldn't help you. I wanted to get closer to you and I wanted you to trust me a little bit more.
9S felt sadness, but a smile appeared on his face. In hindsight, pretending Ventuna was Operator 21O was not good— that he knew. 9S squeezes Operator 21O a little tighter before letting her go. Operator 21O disappears and 9S stares into Ventuna's face, arms resting on her shoulders.
"Thank you." He says. A message that carried much more weight than it might've seemed at first glance.
But Ventuna knew. She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Nines." She removed his hands from her shoulders to just holding them in her hands. "But... really, you can talk to me, y'know?"
He won't. This trust and concern weren't for him, but for Septem. "Maybe someday, 'Tuna."
Ventuna smiles and playfully punches his arm, like old times. "Not a fish." She huffs before standing. "Get some more sleep, bro. Mum and dad are probably planning something big for tomorrow." She shrugs. "Maybe a road trip."
9S settles back down into his bed, the warm covers easing him into relaxing. "Yeah." He couldn't help the yawn that escaped him. "G'night, 'Tuna."
Ventuna pats him on the head and leaves.
—
Ventuna was correct, not that 9S had any doubts, but it was as if she predicted the future.
"Rise and shine!" Father yells, bursting into his room.
"Let me die." 9S couldn't help but groan out. Death sounded very pleasing right now. He had wanted to die for quite some time, but at this very moment, it was a heavenly concept.
9S closed his eyes and when he opened them, he was out of his sleeping clothes and ready for a road trip. "Oh my god." He couldn't help but mutter. How did that happen?
"And done!" Mother exclaims, a joyous smile on her face as she placed a hat on his head.
"Did you... uh..." 9S asks, unable to keep the question in but incapable of finishing that thought. Did she just... undress him? Was that a mother thing?
"I'm a mother." She says as if she read his mind. Was that also a mother thing? "You don't need to feel embarrassed."
"Um." He starts. "I know you helped Ventuna when she was still quite small, but she's a girl." He scrunches up his nose.
Mother's smile seems to have changed. "I used to have a son." The way she said it was soft and filled with melancholy.
9S... didn't know what to say.
Mother pats his head and 9S is reminded of Ventuna last night. "I loved him— still do." She then crouched down and held his hands. "He's gone, but that's okay." Mother's smile turned bright. "After all, I have another son!"
9S froze. He blinked at her slowly, processing her words. He is quite an intelligent Android and held impressive data processing software, but at that moment, it felt as if he was having a malfunction.
After a peck on the cheek, Mother, who was still holding his hands, led him out the room.
9S caught sight of the flowers in his room before the door shut behind him.
—
When 9S finally came back to himself, he was seated in the car. He looked down at the seatbelt that was secured around him before glancing at Ventuna beside him. "What?" He whispers.
Ventuna perks up and tears her eyes away from the window. "Welcome back to reality." She grins.
"Did I blackout or something?" Was there something wrong with him today?
Ventuna shakes her head. "You kinda just... uh, froze?" She makes a weird gesture. "So dad just kinda settled you there. You've been out for like," She glances at her phone, "30 minutes?"
"... oh." 30 minutes? What the heck? As much as he would love pondering and speculating about his possible health issue, 9S couldn't find the strength in him to do so. So, instead, he looks to his right and just looks at the passing landscape. Oh, a sheep.
"Erm..." Ventuna says. "Are you feeling alright, Nines? Did I deprived you of sleep?"
9S shakes his head, turning his head away from the window. He was starting to get dizzy. "No." He says although he isn't completely sure whether it was true or not. Sleep was quite alluring at the moment. He shuffles a bit, trying to get into a more comfortable position while fighting the incoming headache due to him moving. "I think I'll sleep, though." His eyes are already closed.
"Goodnight, Nines," Ventuna mutters and 9S is gone.
—
"Nines..." 2B whispers his nickname and blood accompanied it.
There was a storm inside him. His insides growing hot and his hands start to shake. There's gibberish coming out his mouth and he mourns and mourns.
And then everything disappears.
It's just him and 2B.
Her arms are stretched out towards him, showing off her bloodied chest where more and more precious liquid escapes. It puddles down her heels. "Nines." She says again in the same whisper. It plays again and again in his head as if his head was a broken record, only able to relay a single sound.
Everything about her was perfect.
9S steps forward into the nothingness, entranced. 2B was perfect— stunning. The way the crimson would contrast her monochrome attire and make her bright blue eyes look more precious than it already did, the way she lost enough blood causing her voice to become nothing but a hush, unintentionally conveying words like a secret.
The gaping wound showing her insides— the things that constructed 2B. Drenched in that same red that dyed her dress.
9S stands before her, close enough to reach out and caress her hair but far enough not to get splutters of blood on his person. He breathes in that metallic scent. 2B always smelt like iron, like the weapons she holds, but this...
"Nines." She says again but doesn't move a single inch. It was like she was a statue, but she kept on saying his nickname.
Nines... It was a name he always wanted her to call him. It was to be friendly and feel less like... business partners? You could call them that, he supposed. They were only paired up for work. But 9S craved friendship. He craved bonds. 9S couldn't remember how many years passed without having that.
But then there was 2B. She was cold and serious. Much like everyone else. But he tried— he tried so hard— and now here she is, calling him Nines.
However, there was something wrong. The nickname felt foreign. More than anything, 9S wanted her to call his name— his real name. It was an odd wish. Didn't everyone already call him 9S?
So why did he feel as if it had been years since he heard anyone call his name?
—
The car comes to a stop and 9S opens his eyes slowly, blinking back his focus. It was times like this that he really hated being a light sleeper.
"Oh, you're awake," Mother says once she opened his door. A soothing smile was on her face. Why was mother always smiling? "You poor thing. If only we knew you were sick sooner." She ran her fingers through his hair. 9S refuses to admit that it felt nice.
He closed his eyes and lets out a half-hearted hum. Not having to look at anything was a relief. He was just so dizzy. Whenever he tried to focus on something, his head would pound. Especially so when he was looking at something move.
"Is he alright?" 9S could hear father's uncharacteristic soft voice.
Mother replies, "He should be okay." She removed her hand from his hair and 9S mentally bid it goodbye. "But he's going to have to rest."
"Isn't this the first time he's gotten sick?" Ventuna's voice piped in. "Unless he got sick while I was away."
"Nope," Father responds. "Never got sick till now."
It was funny. Their voices were slowly fading away, becoming indistinguishable.
"He doesn't look okay..." Someone said. 9S is convinced that he's underwater or his audio receiving hardware had malfunctioned.
"-pital... Unsure... Condition..."
What are they talking about now? 9S nuzzles into the headrest, blocking out the noise. Every breath he took pained him and his head felt too heavy to support.
The voices dim and soon enough, silence wraps its beautiful arms around him. 9S stays in the car while his family does whatever they're doing outside. He takes a shuddering breath and lets out a shaky exhale. The air around him was too cold. His head is attacking him mercilessly— quite similar to Eve's ferocious attacks while he and 2B were fighting him.
Ignoring the ache in his chest, 9S squeezes his closed eyes and tries to force himself into sleep.
—
It was a pain, it really was. Both physically and mentally. 9S honestly lost track of everything, but it seems as if there was a restaurant? Weren't they in the middle of nowhere? However, once he— with some difficulty— stood up and got out of the car, he saw that they were actually in a humble town. When did they get here?
9S kept his eyes forward, choosing to analyze his surroundings later. If he moved his head too much, he feels like he would throw up. It's bad enough that the sun's natural light was blinding him. Quietly, he follows his family into the restaurant that they parked outside of. Every step was unstable and the fear of losing balance was always present, but he refused to make such insecurities known.
9S patted himself on the back when he walked through the doors without any assistance but cringed when the artificial light greeted him, the air conditioning causing his skin to crawl. He's making good progress and he's pretty sure no one has yet to notice that he was basically dragging himself to their table.
Sitting never felt as rewarding before. A sigh escapes 9S' mouth and then he slumps, body too tired to continue keeping up his posture. He curls into himself and shields his eyes away from the light.
"Dad," Ventuna speaks and it's too loud. "I really don't think Nines is okay." Ever the worry wart.
"He'll feel better once he's eaten." Mother says. 9S looks up a bit to see her holding a menu. "He hasn't eaten anything yet." Now that she mentioned it, 9S supposed she was correct. One moment he was on his bed and the next he was in the car.
9S' stomach lurches at the thought of food. Despite what mother said, he didn't want to eat. What is going on? 9S never gotten sick before and it was certainly... an experience he would never want to feel ever again.
"Maybe we should get soup for him," Dad recommends. "Something warm for him and not solid. Poor boy might throw up."
Oh no, he really doesn't feel good. Slow enough not to trigger another headache, 9S stood up from his chair. He noticed with ire that his legs felt incredibly weak. "Bathroom." He croaks out before darting away from the table.
His head was pulsing when he glanced up to look at the bathroom sign. With grace that he only obtained through battle, he swung open the door and rushed towards a stall, focus immediately on the toilet. He could feel the bile in his throat even after throwing up.
9S pants, trying to catch his breath. Why the heck was he so tired? 9S presses his palms onto his eyes, feeling the heat that was trapped behind it. His breathing was uneven and it was reminiscent of when he had a— What was it called?— a heart attack?
No, wait it was a panic attack. His information was getting disorganized in his head. That never happened.
9S stood up, flushed the toilet and left the stall. He made a beeline to the sinks. Thankfully, the bathroom lights were dimmed and he vaguely smelt jasmine in the air. Jasmine? How did he know what that smell like?
He washed his hands and stared at his reflection. Was he always so pale? His eyes held the same red that appeared whenever he stayed up for too long. 9S rubs his eyes and when he opened them again, a boy was beside him.
"Nines." The boy says and 9S blinks. Who was this person? "Uh. Fancy meeting you here?" Why did that sound like a question? Was that a question he was supposed to answer?
"Yeah." And that's all he said. He didn't want to ask this person who he was because it seemed as if this boy knew who 9S was. It would be embarrassing to just say: sorry, who are you again?
"Eve is somewhere around here." The boy says, obviously trying to strike up a conversation. Was he trying not to be awkward?
"Eve?" 9S mutters, but the boy clearly heard him. He rubs his eyes again and blinks multiple times. His vision was still blurry.
"Yeah, but he probably went on ahead." He shrugs.
"Ah." What was he supposed to say now? His head felt like cotton was stuffed inside it. It was hard to think. "So how're you and Eve?"
The boy fidgets in place, looking uncomfortable. His eyes dart all over the place before settling back to 9S, his lips pursed. "Wait- I think I should be asking you that question." He says. "How are you, Nines?"
Nines? Was that him? 9S shakes his head. Of course, that was him. 9S didn't know whether the question was deflected back at him as a defensive move or if he was genuinely concerned. So, 9S shrugs. "I've been better."
"Wha— Oh hi Eve." The boy turns to his left and 9S follows suit. Out of politeness, 9S waves in the general direction the boy was speaking. "I knew it!" He exclaims and 9S jumps. What? "You're not okay!"
"Huh?"
"Eve is not here." The boy says. "You're so out of it, you didn't even realize!" Why on earth did he have to raise his voice? 9S winces, headache coming back in full force.
"Adam, you're too loud." Wait. Who was Adam? "Shush."
Adam(?) sighs. "Oh, thank goodness you know who I am." He puffs out his chest. "It would be problematic if you didn't know!"
"Of course." 9S lies. "Why would you think that way?"
"If you can't even see that Eve is not here, how can I trust you to even see me right now?" Adam was always irritatingly smart.
9S rubs his eyes once more. Squinting, he sees Adam's white hair and ruby eyes. "Your roots." He says. "They're growing." He points at the patch of black on the top of his head.
Adam's eyes widen and his gaze lands on the mirror. He leans forward, inspecting. "Holy shit, you're right."
"Eve wouldn't like you swearing."
"Let's keep it between us," Adam says with a wink. His expression then turns into a frown. "This sucks. I'm gonna have to bleach it again."
"Why do you insist on having your hair white?" 9S couldn't help but ask, slowly regaining control over himself once more.
"1) I stand out." Adam runs his fingers through his long hair. "2) Your hair is white." Nines probably didn't want it to be white, though. But to 9S, it was just the usual.
"And that matters because..?"
"Because we're a trio!" Adam proudly exclaims, but 9S' insides go cold. It felt as if a part of him just died right there. "You- uh, don't look happy." Was he imagining the way Adam seemed to shrink?
"What's going on, Adam?" 9S asks, his voice was deeper than he intended. This is his chance. It's been nearly 2 weeks. He hasn't seen the twins for so long.
Adam bites his lip before steeling his expression. 9S' hand twitches at the familiar expression. Adam probably didn't mean to look cold and calculating, but he did. It was too alike to Machine Adam. 9S didn't like it. "We got into trouble," Adam says and 9S forced his feet to stay still. Don't attack. "Big trouble."
9S stays silent, looking straight into Adam's eyes.
"We- uh." Adam falters, brave facade fading into nothing and that show of weakness eases 9S' tense muscles. He liked it better when Adam didn't look like the.. other Adam. Adam looks around. "Not here."
9S holds in the retort that sat on the top of his tongue. Isn't that weirdly dismissive? Doesn't that sound too alike to what I said 2 weeks ago?
It looks as if Adam knew, however. "I promise this time." He says and gives an unsure grin. "Bread pact?" His fist is held out in front of him.
9S sighs and fit bump him. "Bread pact."
Adam's grin grows stronger. "Here." He hands him a... calling card? "Call when you get home." 9S takes it in his hands. "Only when you're at home and you're alone."
Suspicious. "Alright."
Adam gently slaps his cheeks and sticks his tongue out. "Get better soon, loser."
9S kicks his shins. "Tell Eve I said hi, nerd."
And then Adam leaves. 9S doesn't see him for the rest of the day.
—
9S had eaten a little bit of his soup and then gave up. Mother seemed satisfied enough, however, so he was let off the hook.
Currently, they are back in the car. "Let's go somewhere else now!" Ventuna chirps.
"Nope," Father says, a smile on his face. "It's better if we go home now. By the time we arrive, it'll be well into the night and your little brother needs to rest."
Ventuna pouts and mutters something like 'all we did was take photos' but in the end just stayed silent. Everyone knew that the only way to make Ventuna obediently follow was to ignite her big sister instincts.
Mother turns around to face him from the front. "Sweetheart," She places a warm hand on his knee. "If you're still not feeling well tomorrow, you're allowed to have a day off."
"Okay," 9S says. He can do that. He then faces Ventuna. "It's okay, Ven, we can do something together tomorrow."
"If you're feeling well, okay?" Ventuna says. "If not then I'm forcing you to stay in bed."
Father groans in the background. "Ugh. I gotta go back to work."
Mother laughs. "Do your best."
With a smile on his face, 9S closed his eyes once more. He doesn't hurt as much as he did at first— Mother was right. Eating made him feel a lot better— but the threat of a headache was still present. So, he listens to the soft rumbling of the engine and the light banter of Father and Mother until his body relaxes and he's slumped against his seat.
But he doesn't fall asleep.
Instead, 9S thinks. Adam, Eve, whatever secret their hiding, his sudden blank in memories, feeling sick and so much more.
Septem, Victoria Orphanage, the mystery that he knows exists but doesn't have evidence to prove...
Why was Septem called Nines when his name obviously represented the number seven? For 9S' case, it was simple. He had a nine in his name, thus the nickname Nines was created. It also helped that he had an 'S' in his name.
But Septem meant seven.
9S opens his eyes and pulls out the calling card from his pocket. It was a foolish move since reading while the car was moving made him feel slightly dizzy, but a thought had occurred to him.
What if there was a secret message?
Adam had the personality and intelligence to pull it off. Plus, 9S didn't take a good look at it when he was given the calling card.
Huh? There was no other information but some numbers. 9S turns the calling card. Yeah, other than those numbers, there wasn't anything else on the card. No name nor any signs of identification.
Was he supposed to call this number? Adam did say something along those lines. But, there was something weird about this series of numbers. Was... this truly meant to be used to call? 9S had a suspicion that said otherwise. He would confirm it, but that would require an outside source. Is there someone he can trust with this? Truth was, there wasn't. He could... diverge the truth from what he could say. But then the question of who pops up. Who would easily take his word and not doubt it? Who would not be suspicious at all?
Ah. 9S knew. He's going to have to be quick once they got home since Father is most likely going to bed immediately. The man is quite dedicated to his job and refuses to be late. Father was the easiest choice. He was straightforward and probably too trusting— even more so than the rest of the family. A heart of gold that always desired to help but was far too naive when it came to his family. Full of optimism that wanted to believe.
Perfect.
9S could feel his skin prickle at the thought of using such a nice man, but... it wasn't that bad, right? All 9S is going to do is ask Father to confirm something without father knowing the why and how. And that would be it. Nothing more.
Would a human be thinking this way? Would a human purposefully use a person's admirable traits for their own purposes? 9S respected humans and how much more they had than Androids did, but 9S couldn't help but think that if Father didn't have all those things, he wouldn't be able to... deceive him.
A weakness, his brain whispers.
Perhaps he was getting ahead of himself. He shook his head and closed his eyes once more. Breathe. Humans weren't perfect (Ventuna couldn't cook without burning something, Mother was allergic to peanuts, Father snores) and neither were Androids (but they could cook, they don't have allergies and they don't snore.)
9S respected humans.
(But they were so gullible.)
He... he already knows that their weaknesses make their strengths shine even more. He said that to himself.
(What strengths? It's their strengths that were also their weaknesses. Look at father— he's basically a fool.)
9S was a fool as well. He chose to believe back then. He chose to believe that company would come and chose to hope that someday everything would pay out.
(But it didn't. And now he knew better. He learned— just like his programming demanded of him— and knew now that hope was a ridiculous concept.)
Humans learn. He's seen it. Eve knew not to eat a whole chili after trying once. Adam learned that glue did not taste good.
(If humans learn, why does history repeat itself? Androids were superi—)
9S jerked, arm violently slamming against his seat. Pain traveled through him and was processed in his head. 9S lavished in the stimulation. It hurt, but the pain allowed his thoughts to clear and drag him into the present. It threw him off his train of thought and what a relief it was to be away from his own thoughts.
"Ohmygod," Ventuna breathed out. "What the heck, Nines?" Her shoulders were tense and her eyes were wide. Did he cause that? "One moment you were deadly still and the next you just- just- moved!"
"He lives!" Father roared and 9S shrinks when he hears his voice. He was ashamed.
"Not funny!" Ventuna cried. "I got surprised!"
"You get startled so easily." Mother sighs with a small smile. "I thought you were going to outgrow it but it seems like it's just what makes you, you."
"Um... Am I supposed to feel flattered?" Ventuna scratched her head. "Thank you?" She then turns to him, a finger pointing at herself. "Does that make me charming?"
9S shrugs. "I guess." He answers flippantly. Personally, he wouldn't really find someone who gets startled as charming. Everyone around him in YorHa was unshakable and while it made him feel isolated, that was his normal. Seeing a person like Ventuna— who jumped at nearly everything— was something 9S didn't know how to deal with. Charming? He doesn't know. Not really.
But 2B wasn't like that and he found her charming, so maybe Ventuna wasn't.
Speaking of charm... "Do you have a boyfriend yet?" 9S asks. All the girls in his school would talk about their boyfriends really loudly. 9S has read about such relationships before. They were quite important in human society. So, since it was very valued, 9S wished that Ventuna would get one someday.
Ventuna squeaks and shifts further away from him, hands hiding her flushed face. Did he say something wrong?
"As expected of Nines!" Father laughs. "Always the one to get straight to the point!" Not that 9S intended it to be that way, but it seems like, without him realizing, he's created such a reputation. He wonders whether he was seen the same way back at school?
"Ah," Mother exclaims. "Home sweet home." She says, quite alike to how Ventuna said it yesterday.
9S peers out the window and instantly recognizes their neighborhood. Alright. 9S feels like throwing up (again) from the nerves.
9S takes deep breaths as the car slowly makes its way to the garage. He envisions YorHa and how coldly efficient they were. He remembers the emotionless look in their eyes and how stoic they remained as their blades cut through whatever stood in their way.
He thinks of the way they would speak monotonously as they placed their hands on their chest and said the words: For Mankind.
Then he looks back to 2B and how she played him so easily. She hardly had to do a thing as she hid her true self away from him. So many untruths and yet there are little lies.
9S opened his door once the car came to a stop. Ice seems to have frozen his burning emotions and settled it into numbness. His steps were soft and the way he held himself was reminiscent of the way he steeled himself before sprinting through the open world.
Perhaps it was because of that, that Father reacted the way he did. All 9S did was tap him on the shoulder and when Father turned to face him, there were no signs of recognition in his eyes until a millisecond later. "Oh, Nines." He says, a sheepish grin on his face as he scratched his cheek. "For some reason, I thought it was someone else, which doesn't make sense since it's just us and the girls."
That was a perfect prompt for a joke and light-hearted banter, but instead, 9S puts a smile on his face and dismissed what Father just said. "Dad," He says slow and deliberately. He tilted his head to showcase curiosity. "May I ask you a question?"
Just like 9S expected, Father beams. "What's bothering you, son?" Father's earnest eyes felt like they were seeing through 9S— as if they saw all the ugly thoughts in him yet chose to ignore it all.
But that was ridiculous. He was just being anxious. There was no way that Father would know anything. Father was an idiot so—
9S dug his nails into his palms. Stop. Stop thinking that way. Just do what he must and get it over with. "This," He says and it's suddenly hard to put on a smile. The sudden change in mood would look suspicious or concerning, so 9S rests his face neutral and light. Better that than to look like all the energy was sucked out of him. 9S holds up the calling card. "This isn't a phone number, is it?"
Father picks up the card and a spike of anxiety attacks 9S. He curls his fists tighter and it hurt. "Hm..." Father puts a hand underneath his chin. "I don't think so. At least, not a number for this country."
So he was correct.
"Whats this even for? Where'd you get it?" Ah, these are the questions he was afraid of. But that was also why he chose Father in the first place. Mother and Ventuna could be too sharp.
"I don't know what it is," 9S confesses. "My friend from school just gave it to me and I'm guessing we're playing a game or something." An untruth, but not a lie. This could be considered a game and perhaps it was in Adam's perspective. "It's a little bit one-sided though."
Father laughs. "Ah, kids." He says with nostalgia. He then pats 9S on the head. "Well, good luck with that. You're a smart kid so you'll beat 'em."
9S says nothing and just nods along. He takes the calling card back and makes a move to go back to his room. "Thanks." He mutters, keeping his head lowered. He doesn't think he can look at Father's eyes.
"G'night!" Father exclaims. "Don't stay up late or else mum is gonna scold ya. You're still recovering after all!"
"Be more like you?" 9S asks, peering at him through his bangs.
"Yeah! Be more like me!"
"I'm pretty sure mothe- mum wouldn't like me to grow that." He points to Father's round stomach.
"Hey!" Father yelled with a hint of laughter in his voice, but by then 9S had his back towards him and was going up the stairs. 9S couldn't even find the strength in him to smile one last time.
—
9S stares at the numbers. It could be an international number, but would Adam really do something like that? Honestly, 9S wouldn't put Adam past anything, he was wild like that.
9S turns his lamp on. Would something happen if 9S shone a bright light onto it? After looking at it for a while, 9S decided that nothing would happen. He sighs and turns off the lamp. What on earth was he supposed to do? What if Adam used something that 9S had no knowledge of? He doesn't know what Adam knows. Irritably, Adam loved to hide stuff from 9S. There was a high chance that Adam had done something similar now.
"I promise this time."
9S wasn't going to put faith in their so-called "Bread pact," but Adam wasn't the type to break promises. Yet another admirable trait that could easily become a weakness. But for 9S right now, it was a blessing. Okay, he's going to... believe in Adam and hope that his words were genuine.
A part of him flinches at the thought of being betrayed— of everything being fake. Again. If it were to happen again, would he be able to take that? An overused plot twist, 9S thought dryly. But it was a plot twist that he would fall for again and again.
9S shook his head, concentration going back to the card in his hands. Assuming that Adam truly wished for 9S to figure this out, that means the answer was within his databanks somewhere.
9S stuck his tongue out. Alright. All he has to do is remember. He wishes he could just dive into his memories, but humans don't have that ability. What a pain.
Is there anything about this that stands out or looks odd? ... Nothing really—
Wait. 9S stands up from his chair, eyes wide but gaze never leaving the card. The length of the numbers... Could these possibly be coordinates? It was a wild guess from just simply looking at the card, but still, 9S sat back in his chair with a loud sound and opened Nines' laptop. Coordinates! He could feel the adrenaline. If they were truly coordinates, then this will be easy for 9S. YorHa occasionally used coordinates and 9S held an interest for them.
He entered the numbers— the first series of numbers in the X-axis and the next in the Y-axis— and the screen showed a location.
"I can't believe it," 9S whispers to himself, a huge grin on his face. "Adam, you asshat. You gave me coordinates." He could feel his nerves jumping all over the place— he was excited. So many mysteries and 9S was getting closer. Perhaps Adam and Eve's business has nothing to do with Septem and Victoria Orphanage, but it was still an accomplishment— a step forward.
Unable to hold back a squeal, 9S jumped. "Yes!" He shouts. "Just watch me, Adam! I'll solve your stupid game!" And then he'll get his answers. 9S isn't going to lie, he was concerned for the twins and their disappearance has left him hurt.
"Call when you get home."
Was he supposed to go to this location now? How far was it? 9S stares. If 9S wasn't wrong (and he shouldn't be) it would take half an hour to get there by foot. Thirty minutes, huh? It was currently 11:47 pm. Chewing on his lip, 9S ponders. He was certainly capable of going, but there were many uncertainties.
Would Adam even be there? What would transpire and what time would he be back? He can't be gone for too long or else someone might find out he was gone. It was especially risky due to Ventuna being around. She might sneak into his room again and tell Mother and Father about his disappearance. Then how would he even get himself out of that situation?
When 9S last snuck out, it was easy. The building was close by— a ten-minute walk— and he didn't have to worry about anyone checking up on him. He also knew that he wasn't going to take long and would be back quickly.
With this, 9S was unsure. The location was a park, from what 9S could see, but it was in the part of town that 9S wasn't familiar with. 9S noticed with interest that the park was quite a distance from Adam and Eve's house and their school. Was that done purposefully? But why? Adam and Eve haven't been attending school and they haven't been home either. 9S knows that for a fact— he visited their house and was met with silence. He even went inside, using the key he knew they kept underneath a rug but didn't see a single soul.
The twins' parents were always away overseas for work-related business, so it was just the two of them. 9S remembers seeing their parents before when the twins and himself were younger. That was before their careers got chaotic and they had to leave the country often, but by then the twins were older and capable, so their parents left without worries.
They were nice people, 9S thought to himself. If they knew that their children have been ditching school and not returning home, how would they react?
9S looks at the screen. He was tired. Sure, he could walk to the location fine, but a part of him was just tired. Falling into unconsciousness, not having to think, not having to move... That was what he wanted to do. However, he wasn't sure whether this was his one and only chance or not.
"2B," He whispers, combing through his hair with his fingers. "What on earth should I do?" Well, honestly, 9S already knew what 2B would do. 2B was always the type to do what was necessary. He knew that 2B prioritizes her duties above all else.
Even him. 2B chose her role as an E unit over 9S.
9S stands up once again and turns off Nines' laptop after transferring the coordinates on his phone. He's decided— he's going. First things first, he has to prepare. Who knows what's going to occur, but nonetheless 9S is going to be prepared.
Grabbing his backpack, 9S peers inside. Most of the things inside were for school. His pencil case, some books, papers, small folders and so on and so forth. "Alright." He says before dumping everything outside. He doesn't think he has any need for them.
9S scourges around his room for items that would be useful to him. Flashlight, band-aids, an extra shirt, some gloves, a scarf, his spare house key... Also, his crafting knife. 9S vows to only use it for emergencies.
Next, he leaves his room. Majority of the family should be in their beds, but just in case, 9S goes out wearing his pajamas. Can't look like he's going out of the house.
"Oh, Nines," Ventuna says, in her own pajamas. She... had some weird white thing on her face and had her hair tied up. "What's up?" In her hand was her phone.
Unable to hold himself back, 9S asks, "What's that on your face?" He points at her.
"You haven't seen me wear this yet?" Ventuna questions, an elegant eyebrow raised.
"Nope."
"This is a face mask," Ventuna replies with a smile. She turns to the kettle for a brief moment before looking back at him. Was she making a drink for herself? "They're used to make your skin nice."
9S doesn't think he understood. In all honesty, skincare baffled him. It was probably because Androids didn't have to worry about their skin, seeing as it was artificial. "Okay." He says, walking closer to the kitchen. "So, what're you doing? Aren't you supposed to be asleep?"
Ventuna shrugs. "I'll go to sleep eventually. Right now, I'm talking to some friends." She raises the phone in her hand. "Also, I'm making tea."
"Ah, I see." 9S nods, looking for his water bottle.
"How about you, Nines?" Ventuna asks, turning off the kettle once it made a loud, high pitched sound. She pours the hot water into a mug that held a tea bag in it. "You're supposed to be resting. I thought you'd be the first one asleep, honestly."
Yikes. Does that mean Ventuna wouldn't have entered his room if he went out? He blew his own cover. But he can fix this— he already had something in mind anyway. "Was gonna go to sleep," 9S says. "But I figured it was a good idea to have water by my side." Just when he said that he found his water bottle and went to fill it up. Hopefully, with this, Ventuna would think that 9S intended to be comfortable— he desperately hoped she got that. If she did, her big sister instincts would, yet again, be used against her and no one would enter his room until he came back.
Ventuna nods, eyes on her phone while her other hand held onto her mug. "So I'm guessing you don't want any tea?"
9S shakes his head, even though Ventuna wouldn't have been able to see it, and says, "No thanks. I might end up feeling more sick." He closes the bottle which was filled to the brim with water.
Ventuna ruffles his hair and starts to leave the kitchen. "G'night bro. Get well soon. You deserve all the sleep you can get." Yes!
"Goodnight." He replies, hiding his inner delight and waits until he doesn't hear the soft sounds of her footsteps before he opens the food cabinet and grabbed as much as he could carry. He then dashed back to his room.
Back in his bedroom, 9S breathes a sigh of relief. He just had to run into Ventuna! Well, Mother would've been the worst possible outcome, but Ventuna knew him well. He doesn't know whether his act was convincing or whether she was simply distracted by her phone, but she didn't call him out on his lie.
"I got this." It was mostly for encouragement— to hype himself up. 9S moves toward his backpack on his bed and stuffed the food and the water inside it. Okay, he should be good.
Now the final step was to get into gear. He's most definitely going to need something warm, but comfortable. A long-sleeved shirt, his sweatpants, his jacket with a hoodie, and wooly socks. As an addition, he grabbed his hat as well. 9S puts 'Pod 042' in his pocket and turns off the lights in his room. And then he waits. 9S can't leave yet until the entire household is asleep and now he knows that Ventuna intends to stay up for a little while.
9S holds onto his phone. 12:07 am was displayed on the screen. Too early. He can't leave yet. He's decided— he's going to go at 1:45 am.
And so 9S waits.