"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi
Dedicated to @wittycraze for doing an awesome interview with me. Check it out, under her work 'Booklover's Talk.'
Chapter 9 - Forgive me?
“Yasmine. Please would you just stop?"
I pushed my legs, walking as fast as I can without breaking into a jog. I wasn’t going to give in that easily. I heard Zach mumble something under his breath before footsteps began speeding up behind me.
“Man you walk fast. And I really don’t want to run. Can you please just stop so I can talk to you?” he pleaded from behind me. I pushed down the growing feeling of sympathy towards him and resisted the urge to stop and actually hear him out. I wanted him to know exactly how much his words had hurt me. So I kept on walking, head high, arms crossed…I didn’t care if people were looking at us oddly.
I heard him sigh from behind me and I knew just from looking at his face when I walked out of the house this morning that he regretted what he said. He had immediately run after me when I walked off, not even uttering a Salam to him and he’s been begging me the whole way through to stop and hear him out.
Only when I reached the doors of our lecture hall did I stop and turn around abruptly to face him. I must have caught him off guard since he nearly walked straight into me, not expecting me to stop.
“Look Zach, I don’t want to hear it right now. I will forgive you…I could never not forgive you. But please…it’s just…not now ok?” I glanced at him briefly before I walked in, taking in his shocked and guilty face. I walked straight to the back and sat down putting my bag on the seat next to me. Zach understood the hint and sat in the row in front of me, rubbing his face as he pulled out his laptop.
Salma walked in then looking like a typical student who’s woken up late. She looked like a crazy woman with a bag of manouch hanging from her mouth, hijab in disarray whilst simultaneously attempting to juggle three cups of coffee and her shoulder bag.
I relieved the poor girl from her state, taking a cup from her hand and pulling the bag out of her mouth. She beamed at me saying a quick ‘JazakAllah’ before walking over to Zach and handing him a coffee. Zach looked surprised by the gesture, but smiled and thanked her before turning around to look at me. I moved my head so rapidly to avoid eye contact, I almost cracked my neck. What…a girls got to get her point across!
Salma was about to put her stuff down before she realised my laptop just above Zach’s head. She raised her eyebrow questioningly, looking between the two of us cautiously, before mouthing ‘what happened?’ Since she was still standing near Zach he had obviously seen her and I resisted the urge to face-palm. She was just so oblivious sometimes. I shrugged in response and sat down in my seat, getting comfortable. It was a two-hour history lecture and I had to maintain focus, especially since our assignment was based on this topic.
“Is everything okay?” Salma whispered, settling next to me.
“Everything’s fine. Just had a little argument is al.l” No benefit would come from revealing what happened because either way someone would look bad.
“Aah I see. Couple problems,” she said, giggling.
“What?” The sugar in her coffee was obviously affecting her thoughts.
“Nothing,” she said, shaking her head vigorously. I narrowed my eyes and just before I could push her to tell me what she was implying, our lecturer began speaking. I glanced at her from my peripheral vision and could make out a small smile on her face. Frustrated, I sat back in my seat and grabbed the bag of manouch from her hand angrily. She laughed as I took the first bite and munched on it with a frown on my face.
From then on I threw myself into the lecture taking down as many notes as I could. Zach was a major distraction however…every time I looked up from my laptop, one of his legs would be tapping on the floor vigorously and on top of that he kept bombarding my phone with messages saying ‘sorry’, ‘please forgive me’ and ‘I’ll buy you a whole tub of ice-cream after uni’. His last incentive was persuasive but I was a trooper. I could sacrifice a delicious, cookies and cream flavoured tub…or could I? Dammit, yes I can.
As I was having my mental conflict, which most likely resulted in me loosing a fair number of brain cells, I hadn’t realised the lecture had finished and people were heading out.
“I gotta jet! Class in five minutes,” Salma said, flying out the lecture hall. I shook my head at her and smiled. You could never stay angry with someone like Salma. Zach had packed up and walked out but not before glancing at me one last time. I knew what he was doing. He wanted to see if I’d smile at him. If I did he’d take it as a sign of reassurance that I was going to forgive him soon. So I maintained an apathetic expression and turned around to pack my bag.
****
I was sitting in the library catching up on some readings I had missed, when my phone lit up with a message from Zach.
“Tonight after soccer, make sure you’re dressed. Me and Noah have a surprise”
I just rolled my eyes and threw my phone in my bag. I did not have time for this. The day went extremely slow after that and by the end I was sluggish and tired.
I didn’t know what Zach had in store for tonight but I sincerely hope it isn’t some feeble attempt where him and Noah annoy me until I crack a smile. I had no energy to put up with either of them. As I was walking out of uni, I got a message from Noah.
“Did Zach tell you that were taking you out tonight?”
“Yes,” was my dry reply.
“Okay, we’ll bring the kids too.” He sent another one immediately:
“Please don’t forget. Zach has been doing my head in since this afternoon. He’s being very persistent.”
Zach was the laid back, chill type of person, so if he was being insistent it meant he was determined or desperate. I replied, reassuring him I wouldn’t forget and as soon as I got home I belly flopped onto my bed.
“Oh bed. If we could marry inanimate objects, I’d marry you,” I told it lovingly. I heard shuffling near my door, before it was pushed open and my mother walked in.
“Yasmine are you talking to yourself?” she asked, putting a pile of clean laundry onto my dresser.
“No I’m talking to my bed actually,” I casually stated.
She raised her eyebrow before asking, “Your bed?
“Yup,” I said, popping the ‘p’. “You know just informing it of how much I love it.”
“Ya Allah what have I raised?” she ask dramatically, putting her hands up to make dua. I laughed before getting up and kissing her on the forehead.
“You raised a majnooni. But you still love me,” I said beaming up at her. She just smiled and walked out, mumbling something about ‘kids these days’ and a ‘hospital’.
****
I had fallen asleep. Damn you bed! If only you weren’t as soft and cushiony as a marshmallow. I groaned and turned over, reaching my arm out to find my phone and check what time it is. After a minute of blindly knocking over everything on the side table I got up in frustration.
“Argh!” Life was damn hard sometimes. I checked the time and jumped out of bed, tripping over my blankets and flying head first, hitting into the leg of my bed. Ya Allah give me patience, I thought as I rubbed the side of my head where I could already feel a lump forming.
“I don’t love you anymore,” I said, glaring at my bed.
I prayed Maghreb, alhamdulillah I didn’t miss it and immediately got dressed since Zach and Noah would be here in five minutes. I burst into Nadia and Rida’s room practically barking at them to get dressed.
“But where are we going?” Nadia asked.
“No time for questions! Just hurry up you know how annoying Noah is when it comes to being punctual,” I said, slipping on my flats.
“Are you normal?” Rida asked.
“Do I look like I’m normal?” I retorted.
“No,” they both replied simultaneously.
“Well there you go,” I said, putting my hands up to emphasize my point. They both rolled their eyes and began getting dressed. Deana was in her pyjamas and she looked so cute so I let her stay in them. Adam was asleep so he wouldn’t be coming with us…he’d be devastated when he found out tomorrow that we went somewhere without him.
Exactly five minutes later, I heard the door open and a nasty smell waft through…yep Zach and Noah were here. I was hovering over my mother in the kitchen when they walked in. We looked at each other, both with disgust etched on our faces.
“We’re homeee. Did you miss us?” My brother sang, walking towards my mother to give her a kiss. Zach walked in awkwardly and said salams before leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. He looked at me and gave me a small smile before looking at his feet.
“Don’t even think about touching me until you’ve had a good twenty minute shower,” mum said, backing away. Noah mocked a hurt expression before spreading his arms out wide.
“Aren’t mothers supposed to love unconditionally? Gimme some lovin mum!” he said, before she said “Don’t you dare!” and ran out the room, him running after her and screaming like a maniac. That left me and Zach in the room alone and although it could never be awkward between us, I had nothing to say. So I began packing away the dishes until Noah came to his senses and decided he wanted to leave.
“So what, you won’t even look at me?” I heard Zach say from behind me.
“I’ve looked at you enough in my life time,” was my cheeky reply.
“If you can afford to be witty, you can afford to at least hear me out,” he said, his voice firm. I just looked at him and sighed, ready to tell him to start speaking when Noah walked in.
“Let’s go,” he said, clapping his hands together. Zach just nodded his head and walked out taking the lead. Noah picked up Deana and put her on his shoulders whilst I hustled Nadia and Rida out the door.
“Be careful!” mum shouted just before I closed the door.
We began walking, the streetlights illuminating the darkness and emphasizing the emptiness of the night.
“So where are we going?” I asked.
“You’ll see,” Noah said. I could hear something like mischievousness in his tone and I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on. After about five minutes of walking, where Rida wouldn’t shutup as usual, Noah and Zach led us to a dilapidated building, which had been destroyed by the constant bombings from the Israeli army.
Zach began to climb the sides of the buildings and that’s when I got really confused.
“Ok what is happening? I don’t think this is safe guys,” I said worriedly. We had Deana with us and I could tell she was already scared since she was almost choking Noah.
“Yaz do you think we’d ever take you somewhere where we thought there’d be even 0.1% of danger?” Noah asked, trying to loosen Deana's tight hold on him. I sighed and replied in the negative.
“Then just relax and climb so I can go up after you,” he said, impatiently. Thank god I wore pants…
After climbing to the top and stepping out onto the roof I was completely surprised to find a bunch of other guys, mainly Zach and Noah’s friends from the soccer team, lolling about. If I questioned Noah one more time he’d probably kill me so I decided to stay quiet and wait for this ‘surprise’.
I said Salams to the boys and then walked off to the side with my sisters, feeling awkward amongst 12 or so boys.
“OK are you guys ready? Yaz, paying attention?” Noah said, walking up to us, releasing Deana off his shoulders.
“Ready for what?” I said.
“You’ll see.” He walked off and I realised that the boys had formed two rows of six. Zach and Noah were in the first row, all of them standing about 5 metres from the edge of the roof. I edged closer, curiosity taking the better of me.
“ONE, TWO, THREE” Noah yelled before they all started running and then jumped off the edge.
I screamed so loud that I probably woke up the whole neighbourhood…. it was only when I realised they had actually landed on the roof of the nearby building did I calm my thumping heart. Since our buildings were lower than usual and were quite close in proximity I could still see clearly what they were doing, with the aid of numerous street lamps. I watched as the boys did handstands and cartwheels, some, including Zach, even doing a handstand on the edge of the building!
I watched as the second row of boys began running, landing in the exact same manner and began doing their own twisted moves. It was amazing! Like nothing I had ever seen before. I watched as Zach ran full speed, and then jumped onto the next building, landing on his hands and instantly doing a handstand. He then ran again and jumped onto the next building, doing a double cartwheel and then twirling in the air, landing smoothly on his feet. My eyes were definitely popping out of their sockets at this stage...
They were all in sync and I watched as they ran and jumped in a circular motion around the rooftop of each building, until they eventually reached back to where we were. I could hear the girls talking and whisper-yelling excitedly near me and I smiled, thinking that this is what they did everyday, after soccer.
Most of the boys had landed back to where we were, all of them high-fiving each other and laughing, a glint of achievement in all their eyes. Noah and Zach were on the last building and I watched as they stared at each other, smiled and then began running at the same time.
Zach had slowed down and I realised he wasn’t eyeing the roof like Noah was but something else. So when Noah landed, and Zach, instead grabbed onto a protruding pole, leaving him hanging in mid-air another scream escaped my mouth.
I could hear him laughing…he was laughing! Whilst I felt like throwing up since I nearly witnessed his death!
“Yasmine relax. I did this on purpose.” I slowed down my heart rate, and released slow soothing breaths.
“Why the hell would you do that on purpose you idiot! Get up here right now!” I said, my eyes wide.
“On one condition,” he said. I could see the strain he was obviously undergoing…he had a vain popping on his forehead as well as along his biceps and arms. He was sweating and he kept on tightening his hold on the pole.
“I’m really sorry Yasmine. Please forgive me,” he said, his green eyes staring into mine pleadingly. Was this guy crazy?! The buildings were low, but not that low! He could seriously injure himself!
“Zach this is not the time! Please just get up here,” I said, bending down to get a better look at him. If it wasn’t haram I would have grabbed him and pulled him up myself. Not like I’d have the muscle for that but anyway…
“No,” he said, his voice coming out rough. “If you don’t forgive me right now, I’m gonna let go,” he said. To prove his point he released one hand off the pole, instead hanging using only one hand. “I regret what I said so much and the instant the words left my mouth I knew I shouldn’t have said it. I never intended to hurt you…it’s just Jacob…I get worried about him. Let’s just say he’s the number one cause of stress in my life. Even before you” he finished off, giving me a smile.
I didn’t know what to feel, but one thing was for sure. I had forgiven him and not only cause he was a maniac who was currently hanging off a pole metres above ground level but because I could hear the sincerity in his apology. He meant it…and I suddenly felt bad for being a drama queen about it when I should have been more understanding.
“I forgive you,” I said, giving him a warm smile in return. I heard him whisper Alhamdulillah before he began to haul himself up. I don’t even know how he managed to get himself up, but my heart was able to finally relax once he was safely on the roof.
“So what did you think?” Noah said, slinging his arm around me. I was still quite shell-shocked by everything I had just witnessed, so I didn’t even comment about his sweaty arm on my shoulder.
“That was so cool! Omg Noah can you teach me? Pleaseee?” Rida asked, holding her hands together in a plea and jumping up and down. He laughed and shook his head.
“No way. I’ve been doing this for years with the boys. It’s way too dangerous.” She huffed disappointedly and looked to her twin for help.
“You’re being sexist Noah. We could do that too!” Nadia said. Noah looked at me then with a dull glare on his face. I knew why. It’s because of me that the twins learnt that word and they use it on him whenever they have the chance.
“I’ve never seen that before. But you guys were amazing,” I said, eyeing Zach.
“It’s called parkour. Takes a lot of skills and determination,” Zach said, crossing his arms and smiling smugly.
“You’re such a showoff,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Oh come on. Admit I was the best.” He smirked at my scoff and I could see a glint in his eye. A gut feeling told me that he wanted my approval…he wanted me to tell him that I was impressed.
“Hey! Who taught you again? You can’t be better than your teacher,” Noah said, defensively.
“You’re both amazing. Now get over yourselves,” I said turning around, but not before catching Zach’s wide smile.
“Let’s get going. It’s cold” I said, eyeing Deana’s shivering body. Zach followed my gaze, before picking her up and hugging her to his chest. She wrapped her legs around his waist and put her arms around his neck, whilst he rubbed her back to keep her warm.
I didn’t know what was going on with my heart and wanting to keep pounding faster than usual…but seeing him with Deana like that, caused my heart to begin racing again.
I must’ve zoned out and stared at him for a little too long cause he walked up to me and said, “It’s okay, I know you want a hug too.” I could only stare at his retreating back in shock as he laughed, the sound reverberating through the silent night.
****
A/N
Phew, another chapter done! Whaddaya guys think? Don’t forget to comment and vote!
Have any of you guys heard of parkour before? If not check out the video on the side! MashAllah the talent some people have! It’s also something Palestinian boys love to do :D pics on the side of Palestinian boys doing it over crumpled buildings.
Stay awesome!
Booohh