Dedicated to the people who read a book in one sitting
37) The Problem With Triangles and Hearts
The feeling of falling can be daunting. Sometimes you know what's at the bottom of the dark chasm, other times you're just tumbling into what feels like oblivion.
When we become reckless we start to let ourselves fall even if we've made the same mistake before.
Some people seek it for the adrenaline rush while others do it because they have no choice.
A part of falling that we forget about is the faith and the hope.
Hoping someone will catch us.
Having faith to know it will be okay in the end.
Wishing for the possibility that instead of falling we'll fly.
***
If there was one thing that I was good at it would be falling.
Falling down stairs, falling over invisible blocks on the path, falling for the thought that life is normal and boring.
I'm not a super gullible person but when it comes to my friends I seem to have a blind eye.
"Hey friend" Zoe practically yells from the other side of my phone. Nobody should be this perky at this time in the morning "How are you on this beautiful sunny morning. Can't you hear the birds just singing you into what's going to be a wonderful day?"
I move the phone away from my ear to stop her voice from bursting my eardrum "Okay, calm down there Snow White. I think the entire village can hear you."
"Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed."
"Blame the kookaburras." Looking outside of the window I lock my tired eyes with the evil beady ones staring back at me "The stupid birds wouldn't stop laughing at me. Oh great, now I'm becoming self-conscious because of birds" I sigh "What do you want me to do Zoe?" Whenever she is this hyper she usually wants something from me or is scheming. Let's just say it never turns out well for me.
"Can't a friend call to say Good Morning? I don't want anything from you. I just wanted to offer you a lift to school."
"You have no other intention besides picking me up in your car and driving me straight to school. No detours included," I double check these very important points with her.
"I'm offended. What kind of friend do you think I am?"
There are many answers to this question but that is a whole other can of worms I don't want to open up right now.
I switch sides with my phone so I can grab breakfast from the fridge. There isn't much to choose from as it is either raw meat, weird pickled stuff or something in the back that looks alive. Bread and butter seems like the option that is least likely going to give me food poisoning.
"A nosey one that likes to medal with my life, especially when it comes to my very non-existent love life."
"You say non-existent I say you need a little shove in the right direction then you'll fall right into the arms of your true love."
I am getting nowhere with her
"Is this your way of telling me that you've planned something that I won't be able to get out of?"
The ignition of her car purrs through the speaker "You say the funniest things sometimes. I'll be there soon, don't you worry."
"Oh I-" the line goes dead "won't" I shake my head and make my way to the front door keeping my fingers crossed that the drive to school will be quick and will not require any questions.
Throwing the heavy bag over my shoulder I swing the door open and almost drop my keys when I find someone standing right at the front door ready to knock.
Startled I take a step back "PJ? What are you doing here? Wait, how do you know where I live?"
"Google maps," he says this with a completely straight face. "I saw one of your Instagram posts with that particular tree in the background," he points toward the large green tree in the front yard" I researched the tree and found its optimum conditions rate. I did a couple calculations with numbers, graphs and octopuses and here I am," he says with flared hands like I'm supposed to be thrilled by his presence. And I thought I was bad when stalking... I mean investigating on social media.
I eye him suspiciously "I'm kidding Zoe gave me your address so she could pick me up from here."
My heartbeat slows down slightly "That's a relief for a second I thought were checking if I was crazy."
"Don't worry," he says with a reassuring smile "I don't need social media to tell me how loopy you are. You've already proved it in the last few days."
Before I can reply that I'm not that crazy a very annoying sound interrupts me.
My best friend signals her arrival in full-blown Zoe fashion by honking her horn repeatedly.
We both run towards the car to prevent the honking from going on any longer.
"We get it. You're here, you can stop letting the whole world of your location now," I buckle my seat as the car takes off.
"Actually I can't" I look at her in confusion "the horn is broken and goes off at random times. I haven't worked out how to fix it yet," she shrugs and pushes her sunnies down on her nose.
I turn towards PJ who is in the back clinging to the sidebar for dear life. This is definitely his first time riding in her car, "Do you know how to fix cars Mr environmental bad boy? Or are motorbikes more of your jam?"
"They both emit poison carbon emissions that destroy the earth so I try to stay away from them as much as possible. If you were talking about fixing a cycle or a Segway I'm your man."
The car slows down, we got to here quick. I out the window to see a house instead of school. I've got a bad feeling about this.
Turning towards Zoe I give her a curious glare "I thought you said no detours were going to be involved."
"This isn't a detour. It's merely a pit stop."
"At a house?"
"Yes that is where people live I'm fairly sure."
The back door flies open and somebody familiar climbs into the car
"Hey Zoe, what was so serious that we had to talk before school?"
"Your questions will be answered soon young grasshopper but first we have to make another pit stop."
"What are you up to?" I whisper-yell which gains the attention of Charlie.
He looks surprised when he sees me, but that quickly changes as his ears turn pink. What is he thinking about?
He opens and closes his mouth a couple times before deciding it's better shut.
Being the super friendly person that I am, I smile at him before quickly turning back to look at the passing trees.
Zoe stops the car at a familiar house. Yep this is not going to be an easy trip.
"Thanks for agreeing to pick me up-Oh" Sam stops when he sees me in the front seat "Mackenzie! Didn't know you were going to be here."
"You're not the only one" I mutter under my breath.
There are grunts and groans as Sam tried to fit himself in that last available seat in the car.
Charlie is the first one to crack when we're on the road "Why do I have to be in the middle. It feels like I'm being compressed so much that I'm going to split into two."
I completely understand where he is coming from. Being a short person I am always stuck in the middle because it is apparently logic. I've learnt how to hold my breath so I don't inhale bad body odour and how to make myself compact. (This pretty much includes me listing all the 98% fat-free products as I can.)
"Then there will definitely be no room if there is another one of you."
Nobody was impressed with Sam's joke
I sigh in exhaustion "What's the super important thing that you needed everybody here to discuss?"
"Triangles," Zoe says with a confident nod.
"You mean to tell me that I'm squished between these two because you want to talk about triangles? As in the three-cornered shape that is ruining my life in maths?" Charlie whines dramatically.
"Yes. I wanted to talk about the different types of triangles that you find in the world. For example pizza pieces, shark teeth, sails on a yacht. Does anybody else have any input on this riveting subject?"
The car goes completely silent. I look in the rearview mirror and see all three guys squished in the backseat eyeing each other. They're probably having a telepathic discussion about how to get out of this car. Why can't I join in?
PJ is the first to break the silence. Most chance because Charlie keeps elbowing him. You've got to love peer pressure, "you can get mini pieces of cheese in wedges sometimes" he suggests.
"That's a good one PJ" Zoe replies "Oh I've got a good one. LOVE TRIANGLES."
The car goes silent once again. We do not share the same enthusiasm for love triangles as.
"What is everybody's thoughts on love triangles?" Her eyes pierce into our souls "Mace, Charlie, Sam. What are your feelings towards the subject?"
What follows is one of the worst awkward silences I've ever experienced and that includes being stuck in an elevator with complete strangers. Nobody kept eye contact. I can feel my stomach churning. Everybody in the car can hear my stomach churning.
Maybe the bread wasn't such a great idea.
I can't take it any longer "Love triangles are complex and stupid. They should not exist as they cause stress, pain and binge eating." Everyone stares at me "not that I've ever been in a love triangle," a nervous laugh is the only thing that fills the silence. "Maybe some tunes can lighten up the mood," leaning forward I switch onto CDs. I pray that it will something to dim the mood.
"If we were a movie
You'd be the right guy
And I'd be the best friend
That you'd fall in love with in the end
We'd be laughing
Watching the sunset
Fade to black
Show the names
Play a happy song"
I should really stop hoping for impossible things.
"Hannah Montana?"
"What can I say?" Zoe shrugs like it's not her fault we're all stuck in this car together "Disney always knows what song to play."
***
I hear a soft knocking sound come from behind my door when I'm in the middle of a battle that I am losing trying to stay awake while watching Netflix. It may or may not be only 4:30 pm but it's been a long day.
The voice is even quieter "Mackenzie are you there?" the person sounds hesitant to come in but they do anyway.
I throw the doona over my head hoping to avoid talking to another human being for today.
The footsteps are getting louder as they come towards me. The person pauses "Darn it just missed her. While she's not here I'll just raid her secret chocolate stash," The voice is most definitely Sam. How did he know where I hide my chocolates?
"She's obviously left it under her bed where she keeps her-"
I can't take it any longer so I burst out of my doona cocoon-like an awesome ninja and attack him.
Well, that's what I would have liked to happen.
Instead, in my own 'Mackenzie gracefulness', one of my legs gets caught in the covers while the other is planted on the floor. This results in my leg twisting to get free which also means the rest of my body doesn't know what to do with itself. So I do what comes most naturally to me and fall forward onto my face.
I brace myself for the impact that never comes. I can feel two strong arms around e holding me up.
My breath catches when a pair of dark brown eyes look down at me "You're not allowed to make jokes at a time like this. You were going to steal my food which is a crime," this comes out less shaky than I would have thought.
A smile immediately graces his face which makes him brighter, you could even say he looks- get your mind out of the gutter, he shouldn't be smiling, that wasn't meant to happen. He should be trembling with fear.
"It's good to see you to Macey. I was wondering how long you would last under the covers but then again you would do anything for food. That's one of the things I like about you, you know what's important to you." he says with a sincere smile. I'm almost blinded by the shininess of his teeth.
"You could see me the entire time?"
"Uh, you were a big lump in the middle of the bed, you were hard to miss. And no, you are not a ninja no matter how hard you try."
"We will discuss the matter of being a ninja at a different time but for now what I want to know is why you are here." I struggle to stand up straight with Sam's' arms still around me, what is this tingling sensation that's going up my arm. Oh dear, am I having a heart attack?
He adjusts us so we are a couple feet away but still close enough to catch me in case I trip over nothing while standing here "I came to check on you."
"Well, I am just peachy if you can't already tell. I've been practising being a bear by hibernating and eating three times my body weight plus I've been watching a lot of nature documentaries on Netflix," I motion towards my bed which is now a heaped mess of sheets and covers.
"Bears watch Netflix?" he asks amused.
"Bear Grylls does. What are you really doing here?"
He takes a small step forward "Like I said before, I came to see how you are. Can't someone just drop around to give his friend freshly baked cookies as he knows she is menstruating? He also doesn't want her to bite his head off." He whispers the last part while pulling out a bag full of slightly crushed cookies.
To say that I am speechless would be an underestimate. I am baffled, I am stunned, and I'm starting to feel a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart. Here comes the heart attack again.
I take the bag and inspect them suspiciously "Are they poisoned?"
He shakes his head "The only thing they are poisoned with is love."
I look back and forth between Sam and the bag of cookies. I am so very confused; he has to have an ulterior motive? "The only people that drop around fresh baked good are best friends and boy fr- Not you" I take back the last couple words I was going to say before he can realise what I said.
"What am I to you Mackenzie" Sam takes a slow step forward.
My mind goes blank "You're Sam."
"And what does it mean to be 'Sam'? " he asks quietly.
I struggle to find an answer "I-I don't know" for the first time in a long time I stutter, I'm lost for words .
His hand slowly moves out towards my face but I catch it before it can go near me.
Sam's' eyes have turned darker "We need to talk about what happened in the library," he says in a low voice.
"No we don't, " as much as I've tried to erase what happened I still can't get it out of my head "Nothing happened, so, therefore, there is nothing to talk about."
"Macey, you can't keep avoiding your problems all the time."
"I've been doing it my entire life and I never once failed," I take a step forward without realising.
"You know exactly what happ-"
"Yes you found me in the library, said a quick hello and left"
He grips onto my wrists and pulls me so were almost chest to chest.
What comes out of his mouth is almost like a growl "Don't you dare den-"
"You kissed my mortal enemy. Multiple times."
Like magnets repelling Sam takes a step back "And we're back to this. Really? Mortal enemy, what is this World of Warcraft? Just admit you felt something!" I'm taken back by the volume of his shout.
I match his tone; two can play at this game, "THEN WHAT?"
"I DON'T KNOW" he yells running a hand through his tousled hair "I don't know."
There is a moment of silence where we can only hear our heavy breaths.
"You should leave."
"Mac-"
I take a deep breath "I will tell you how I feel if you promise to leave."
Our eye lock, my breath hitches. I don't want to blink because if I do he'll be gone.
After what feels like a century he simply nods.
"I don't know if it's the heart attack talking but I felt something. I don't know what it was but it was there."
Sam inhales quickly before taking a step towards me.
I put a hand on his chest so he can't come any further; his heart is racing a million times an hour.
"You promised to leave," I barely whisper.
"Mackenzie."
I shake my head.
"Please," he pleads.
"Sam."
As soon as I say his name he is suddenly a good metre away from me "Fine," he repeats to himself "fine I'll leave."
In a blink, he is gone.
The room feels emptier than before.
Collapsing onto my bed I shove my face in a pillow and heavily sigh.
I'm not sure what exactly just happened but I do know that I'm definitely falling. Hard.
Cupcake Theory #37
The best way to avoid questions is to avoid people. Sadly you will never be able to avoid people or life or falling. But you'll be okay in the end.
:):):)
Well Hello there you spunky person
Chapter 37 is up
WOOOHOHHHOHOH
I really need to re-edit chapters which I will do when I finish the book
3 unexpected thing that happened this week
- I got home to a bedroom filled with 103 balloons ( It's very hard to walk from one side to the other
-THE CUPCAKE THEORY GOT TO #75 ON THE HUMOR CHARTS ( STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT)
-It's not really unexpected but I made the best gingerbread house ever (just saying)
I want to wish you guys a super merry Christmas. I hope it is filled with love and joy and good food
Lots of triangle heart love
theforggotonone