Woebegone – Bonus 3
T A I N T E D T E M P E R A M E N T
Tristan
Rain pelted on my leather jacket as I made my way towards home. My head was sulking down, watching the drops splash onto the ground. Usually, I go home by car; but tonight, I‘m mood for it. Walking with the clouds above my head seemed to be a better choice. While walking down the pavements, I received a call from a good friend of mine.
“Yo, Trist! This is the first time I see you leave so early! What’s up with you? Man, you sure have a lot of first times this week. Lost your streak in the chips... Got nothing in the slot machines ten times straight... Then the cards—”
“That’s enough, Preston,” I snapped back him, cutting his lines short.
“Man, are you having issues or what?” he teased me mockingly.
I shoved my phone into my pockets. It just seemed impractical to pursue my hobby any further. All luck had been seeped out of me. There’s no point of going further when the odds are always against you. I had nearly lost everything to the point that playing another time would risk all that I had. I didn’t believe what Preston told me anymore. I didn’t want to play with him any longer. Considering my already poor performance this week, most likely I would blow everything if I tried one more time.
“Lady Luck’s not on your side anymore?” I heard his pestering voice come up again. Out of frustration, I tossed the phone into the street; and I watched it roll into a horizon of darkness. I clenched my fist as angry thoughts swirled in my mind.
Tina. Tybalt. Travis. Tiffany.
For a brief second, the faces of my children flashed in my mind. Those three were the most annoying kids I had especially that bratty daughter of mine. It made me thought of throwing up whenever she presented that awful smile of hers. And now, my favorite boy’s deviating from my side. What did he eat these days? How dare he start showing emotions — useless emotions! They were nothing but stumbling blocks in your life. Their only purpose was to render you susceptible. Happiness only lasted for a short while before it decayed to bitterness; and from there, depression arrived. Anger led to fights, and fights headed to the path of depression as well. No matter what angle you started out, you’ll end up bruised with sorrow. Why not stay neutral? It was better that way. I can't stand seeing him get along with his siblings. He should be with me and only me — with his father who can properly teach him the ways of life.
I entered the back door only to be greeted by darkness. I ran my fingers on the wall until I felt the light switch and flicked it open. Then out of nowhere, there she was, standing beside the staircase. Tina. This was the first time she stayed up so late to greet me. Or was there something in her mind?
“Kill her.”
No. Not yet. Careful planning was crucial, but the voices in my head were disagreeing with me.
“Throw a chair. Brandish a knife. Hug her then strangle her. Now when you still have the chance.”
Rage was beginning to boil in my head once more. I felt a vein pulsating, but it went away upon hearing her calm voice — her calm and gentle voice that resembled the voice of a very familiar person.
“Welcome home, Dad…” Tina greeted me from afar. She had a blank expression, making it hard for me to read her thoughts. Anger? Hatred? Love? Joy? I had no clue. But her calling me “Dad” made me like her a teensy bit more than Tiffany, but I still despised her due to her resemblance to Tracy.
Tracy… Just remembering that name agitated me.
“What is it?” I asked her as I hung my jacket on the clothes rack.
In response, she threw the towel she was holding on her hand, but it barely reached my arms. Instead, it landed on the solid ground. I picked it up and proceeded to dry my wet hair. She spoke up when I was through, “Dad, my graduation's coming up in three weeks. Will you be attending the ceremonies?”
Oh, it was just the same old invitation that she was nagging about all the time. I didn't reply; and she added, “I... tried to ask Mom... but she's not picking up her phone...”
“Pretend to say yes. Then kill her. On the day. Poison her. Don't let the opportunity slip by.”
I was beginning to lose control of myself. My mind was forming ideas of... murder. Finally, I succumbed to the voices, hoping that they'd be satisfied. I simply nodded my head, and we both headed upstairs to our respective rooms. Before I entered my bedroom, I heard my daughter's voice once again, “I love you Dad… even though things are like this. I just wish that Mom and you would be together again...”
I didn't look at her face but simply entered the room without saying another word. I turned the lamp on, illuminating the room, and the first thing I set my eyes on were the pictures on the nightstand — pictures of Tracy and I. I held the one with white frames on my hand — our wedding picture.
“Until death do us part…” I whispered in the air. Remorse began flooding in my soul as I pondered about the events back then. Who knew that that vow would be invalidated twenty-years later? But the voices were starting to get louder in my head again…
“Forget her. She’s nothing but a tramp now. You made the right decision. Go for the kids next. Or save Tybalt if he’s that precious to you. But remember, that kid’s actions are so unexpected. He might even turn against you one day.”
As hard as I can, I tried to fight against it; but no matter how much I tried, the voices wouldn’t stop bugging me. I struggled until finally, it overpowered me.
Three weeks later…
It was the middle of the night, and I decided to do the unthinkable. I packed all of my things in a bindle and took the little money I had left. I swore to myself that I couldn’t support them any longer. It was pointless, and besides, they’ll be able to survive on their own. They’ll be force to find ways. As I silently made my way down the stairs, I was greeted by someone whom I was familiar with the most.
Tybalt.
I crept closer and gave hug a hug, but he outright rejected it. I didn’t mind. In fact, I was expecting that to happen. I admitted that I’ve strayed from him for quite some time. It was the voices; they told me to. If I refused, they’ll overwhelm me. In response, I threw him a question, “What do you think of me now?”
“Nothing,” he replied with a blank face.
Silence was my reply. I headed to the kitchen area, and he followed me to see what I was up to. I grabbed a container from the cupboard and poured a pack of strychnine crystals into it. Afterwards, I presented it to my son.
“Yours,” I told him as I placed the glass container onto his hands.
“What’s this?” he questioned me as I walked towards the back door. He seemed to be lost, seeing his answer. Poor boy… I expected that he knew what it was, considering how I helped hone his… hunting skills.
“Sugar,” I lied, my back against him as I opened the door. “It’s for Tina.”
“Will you be coming back?” he walked a few more steps forward, as if wanting to call me back.
I made no reply once again; but before I shut the door, we exchanged looks. I whispered my last words, but I didn’t know if he heard it. As if it mattered at this time. The sound of the rain would’ve covered it up.
“No. And I don’t think you’ll have the chance either.”
Before reaching the streets, I took one last look at my two-story home. I bid farewell to the garden at the backyard, the fountain on the corner, the swings near the mailbox, and finally, the stepping stones that lead to the doorsteps. No longer will I see them again. Who knew when will I ever come back? Even I didn’t have the answer to that question. Instead of driving, I chose to walk. That Pilot would do no good to me anyway. Can’t have anything that had to do with the past. Besides, if I was going to start afresh, I should leave everything behind, right?
I slithered my shoes as I walked across the pavement with the red bindle behind my back. Thunder, lightning, and rain weren’t the only ones that accompanied me. The voices inside my head didn’t stop talking. In fact, they were congratulating me. I had enough of their nagging…
“Now then, wait for the results and reap the benefits… You’ll no longer shoulder the burden of those brats. To top it off, Tracy will be long forgotten. She won’t be an obstacle anymore. Nobody stands in your way. Great job, Tristan. Marvelous. Very—”
“Quiet!” I screamed out loud and punched the lamppost standing beside me. Involuntarily, I let go of my bindle, causing it to drop on the ground. I cursed under my breath upon seeing my items fall out, wet and dirty. Just then, I saw a shadow of a person towering above me.
“Manly luck seeped out of you as well?” he chuckled as he assisted me in gathering my things and getting me up.
“Preston, what do you want?” I snapped back at him. Of all people, why him?”
“Any news from Lady Luckless?” he smirked at me, his face getting wet from the rain. I answered with nothing, adding to the silence.
Preston replied with a big laugh before adding, “C’mon, Trist. There’s no point in standing under the rain. Let’s go and play! I’ll take you there.”
After those words, I saw him lunge forward to grab my arm. Quickly, I dodged it and grasped the lamppost before he got my left arm the second time. With much force, he repeatedly tugged.
“I quit, Preston! I don’t want to go to that cursed place anymore!” I yelled at him, struggling to remain on the same spot I stood on. Knowing that I used my right hand in punching the lamppost, my grip wouldn’t last for another couple of minutes. In addition, the rain made things more slippery.
“Well, there’s no way I’m changing my mind! I’m going, and you’re going as well!” he insisted, ignoring my previous words. That was the time when the voices inside my head started bugging me again.
“Isn’t he annoying? Why don’t you give him a little push and give him a taste of your own medicine? That’ll show him not to mess with you.”
“N-No! I won’t do that!” I screamed aloud, disagreeing with the voices.
What Preston didn’t know was that I wasn’t talking to him in the first place. Of course, I didn’t tell him; because first, he would take it as a joke. Second, he would think I’m lying. Finally, he would find it as a cheap excuse to escape.
“C’mon! One last time!” he responded with a nonsensical tone.
A glaring light shone against my eyes, causing me to squint. Before long, I find myself unable to control my actions. Inside, I felt like I was set aside; and something or someone more powerful took over. My grip loosened up, and I gave him a hard push. When I regained control of myself, I was too late to rescue him.
Bangrrrrhrrrrh!
Sounds of car tires skidding echoed in the air, and smoke filled the surrounding. When it had cleared, I heard a woman screaming and pointing at me from the car, “Oh my gosh! B-B-Blood! Chase, he — he pushed him!”
“N-No! It wasn’t me!” I tried to argue, but it was useless. What kind of idiot would believe me? I was the only one present with him, so there was nobody else who could’ve done it.
“D-Dude! Do you know what you just did?!” the guy got out of his Ford Taurus, ran up to me, and gave me one heck of a punch. The impact sent me a few steps backward, and it made me dizzy. I could’ve sworn I saw stars circling around my sight. Copies of everything emerged. With the little strength I had left, I charged at him.
“M-Melanie! Call 911! I’ll make sure he stays — urgwah!” he stopped once I landed on him. Wasting no more time, I spun around and ran from the scene the fastest speed I can manage. Where was I heading to? Even I didn’t know. I’d go anywhere as long as it was far from the scene. Buildings and trees blurred as I dashed further and turned on corners when I saw any. When I came across an alley blocked with a giant dumpster, I sprinted and jumped over it, managing to squat behind it and hide. My pounding heart relaxed upon finding a “safe spot,” but it started racing once more when I heard the sound of the sirens.
I saw the policemen’s shadows moving on the floor, while I lay on the back side of the bin, not making any move. I practically stopped breathing. If I were to get caught, this would spell the end for me. Then I realized that I had left an invaluable possession of mine behind. I gave myself a face palm upon remembering that my I.D. was one of the items inside it.
My bindle.
Drops of sweat failed to stop until my eyes finally succumbed to stress, leading me to the world of sleep. I had the night of my life that I’ll never ever forget. The pressure… the hesitation… the fear… they were all there. That was right, fear — something that I never expected to experience. I didn’t want to be labeled as a murderer. I didn’t want to be called like that. Could he still be breathing after what happened to him? I was left in the dark of the results of my actions.
After that tragic event, I never dared walk away from the spot I hid in. They could be looking for me day and night. If they caught me, that would spell doom; but I found myself in a very bad position. There were barely enough food and water to last a day. Wait, scratch that. Necessities were overly scarce, and I’d choose to starve rather than scavenge in the dumpster. The only thing I did was pace back and forth in the same alley until night fell, and I slept on the solid ground. Eventually, I was forced to think of a plan to get out of that area and find a better place to hide. But one night when I was about to set my plan into action, I stopped pushing the dumpster out of the way upon seeing a familiar face.
“You’re here...” I formed a subtle smile upon seeing Tybalt on the opposite side of the alley. His shadow covered the lamppost’s glaring light, giving me a better view of his face.
“Figured you’d be around your favorite hideouts during these times; but aside from that, you’re going to pay…” he muttered back, cracking his knuckles as he started going over the dumpster and walked towards me. I retreated a few steps backward as well.
“Oh? What’s this about?” I asked, pretending to be unaware; but deep inside, I knew what he was talking about.
Tina.
“She died one week ago… because of you…” he whispered with a dark tone, standing still.
“Hmph… So you finally saw through the strychnine crystals I gave you? Why didn’t you keep those away from her reach? If you did, her fragile life would still be intact until today…” I mockingly questioned him, making it sound like it was his fault all along.
“How was I supposed to know she’d sprinkle those onto the waffles she made in the morning? It was unexpected…I didn’t know she’d mistaken it as ‘sugar.’” he turned away, avoiding my eyes.
“Why didn’t you stop her then?” I asked, feeling nonchalant about the situation.
I could sense guilt emanating from him as he continued, “I wanted to… But I couldn’t… There was just a part of me that didn’t allow me to, or maybe it’s because of you. Your influence made me the person I am today — ruthless, emotionless, and uncaring.”
I was about to smile at his words, but they flipped upside down when I heard his next lines.
“But I don’t want that anymore… I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to be controlled by your attitude and style. I quit. I’m not gonna be the son you think I’ll be. I’m not gonna be like you… I’ve changed. That bloody annoying sister of mine drilled through my thick skull. She made me realize the truth that I had been hiding from for a long time. She may not want me doing this, but I can’t leave the killer running loose in the streets. You know what? She didn’t deserve to die. You will pay. I will make you pay.”
In response to his magnificent speech, I nodded my head and clapped my hands before replying, “How wonderful and loyal of my son. I couldn’t help but ask. How are you planning to do that?”
“I’m going… to take you on!” he shouted with confidence in his eyes and his fist. After hearing his words, I couldn’t keep myself from exploding into laughter. It was just so damn hilarious. Cute in some angles; but with the way he delivered it, it ended up flat and meaningless — just like the one who spoke those words.
While I busied myself with my thoughts, a solid punch met my right cheek, sending me crashing to a water puddle. I got back up as fast as I can and dodged before another punch connected to my left cheek. I ran backwards for a few steps before I turned my neck sideways, creating cracking sounds. Afterwards, I lunged at him and landed a soulful punch to his abdomen, crippling and stunning him for a while. If I wasn’t weakened by my empty stomach, I would’ve managed to knock him out on the get go.
His fighting skills were showing, and I could tell that he had been practicing before this match. Bullets of sweat drizzled down to the ground as the fight continued. Punches flew here and there, half of them connecting.
Three punches were thrown to my left cheek and another three to my right. I could’ve sworn that my face was puffed up. The scene reminded me of the one wherein Preston’s body lay on the ground. If that Chase guy decided to punch me back then, my face would had been like a cauliflower.
Tybalt wasn’t a person who’d give up without a fight. He’d actually make a good boxer someday. As we fought, our shadows danced on the brick walls of the alley. No one was in the vicinity aside from the moon that towered over the entire city. Both of us were heavily panting, but neither of us dropped. I felt the need to stop this fight right now. I simply couldn’t take any more. Glancing on the floor as I panted, I spotted an empty wine bottle with its tip glistening like it was calling for me.
Immediately, I spun around and ran towards it. By the time I got a grasp of it, Tybalt had already caught up to me. But before he could yank my hair, I spun around once more and swung the bottle with the strength that I had left in me, smashing the glass on his head and rendering him weak. Specks of blood splashed onto the floor as the bottle in my hand shattered into a hundred pieces, leaving me half of the bottle with jagged shards.
Now lying before me was my son grimacing in pain, unable to stand. He was beginning to cough up blood, messing his flawless face. Just when I raised the broken bottle above my head to strike him, I was stopped by the voice that erupted in my head again.
“Excellent performance, Tristan. Job well done. Job well done indeed. You make us so proud, ‘Daddy.’”
Cold chills rippled across my spine, making me involuntarily drop the bottle. All that was left was the bloodied shards. Fear seized my face, turning it colorless as I watched the puddle of blood growing bigger as the seconds passed. My jaw dropped in shock, unable to believe what I just did; but I really did. I injured my son. I beat him and clobbered him in the head with a glass bottle.
“Marvelous work, Tristan. Mission accomplished,” the voice snickered.
“Dad…” Tybalt let out a soft whisper, raising his hand as if reaching out to me. “He’s not going to make it…” I bit my lip in frustration. “He’s going to die.”
He was going to die in front of my eyes.
“D-Dad…” he cried out once more, his breath starting to slow down. I tried to bend down to stay beside him, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t afford doing this. Instead, I stepped backwards, swallowing the tears and sorrow deep inside. I must resist the emotions, but they proved to be stronger than what I can handle.
“Don’t leave me…” he urged, his hand slowly lowering down.
“I’m sorry…” I replied back as I turned my back against him, preparing to walk away from the scene.
“N-No…” he whispered, breathing perhaps his last one. He wanted me to be with him. He wanted me to stay. He still loved me, yet I didn’t. I gave him a cold shoulder. Was I worth considering a father? Even more, a human?
Before I walked into the lone streets once more, I took one last look at him. His solemn eyes were fixed at mine. He was struggling in breathing, while I struggled in leaving him to die here until someone stumbled across this tragic scene. He wanted life; he had so many events waiting for him up ahead. But those events didn’t need to wait for him anymore, for he was never going to meet them. I turned my eyes towards the moon, hoping that it’ll blanket my son from the cold and watch over him for me. It wouldn’t happen though; he’ll die alone out here, tired and cold.
I closed my ears from listening to his further pleas. To me, those words were considered unspoken. With much regret, I uttered the last words he heard before falling to Death’s arms.
“My son, forgive me. I was enticed… by the devil.”