This chapter is dedicated to @Papo_J_ for his much needed kind words.....hope you like it :-)
It had been a week since the date. Kevin and I hadn't seen each other but not for his lack of trying. He had tried to communicate with me on several occasions but just as expected I made up lame excuses to avoid him. Don't get me wrong It's not like I didn't enjoy spending time with him, I actually did and that's what scared me.
I avoided all the places I usually went to i.e. the library. I studied from home when I needed to even though it didn't feel the same. I had ignored most of his texts only replying to the ones that said 'hi' and going offline afterwards.
I thought that he would give up but he never did which was quite shocking because most of the guys would either stop texting me or give me a speech about how rude I was being before finally giving up.
I went home and Hannah wasn't yet back. Kevin hadn't texted me the whole day and I kind of missed it.
"There is something definitely wrong with you" I said to myself and went off to prepare dinner
Hannah came home when I was almost done and sat with me while I served the food
"How was your day? Were you having a study session or something?" I asked forking some of my food
"Yeah we were.....then a certain guy who just joined our study group asked if he could drop me off"
"Oh really" I said keenly "Is he cute?"
"He is but not my type, he is too stuck up for my liking"
"Yeah definitely out then"
"How about you and Kevin...how is everything going?" she grinned putting her elbow on the counter and resting her chin on her hand
"I haven't talked to him in a week" I shrugged
"That ass...he hasn't texted you since?"
I knew where this was going and I didn't like it "Actually he has....I've just been avoiding him" my voice became smaller towards the end
"Not again" she whined
"What?"
"You always do this"
"Do what?" I asked even though I knew what she was talking about
"Don't play dumb with me...I know you like the back of my hand" she said throwing the back of her hand in my face "the minute you realise that you might actually like someone you start to distance yourself from them, you push them away and avoid them until they give up"
"It's not like—" she cut me off
"Don't even try to defend yourself....god you are so frustrating" she started to rub her temples "would it really hurt to just give someone a chance to warm that cold little heart of yours" now she was pointing at the place I suppose my little cold heart was
"Look I—" she cut me off again
"Don't get me wrong I don't mean that you are a bad person I just mean that your little heart has never felt the love of someone else you know...another person" and as if she knew what I was going to say she quickly added "parents don't count genius..."
"I just don't want to get hurt you know....I have seen so many people including you and my mom open your heart to someone and then just have them leave or take advantage of it leaving you heartbroken....I just don't want to end up like that"
"You know sometimes you behave like you have actually had your heart broken before....I think it's better to learn from your mistakes....from your own heart break and not others....you know what they say about relationships..."
"Yeah I know" then we said in unison "Don't go into a relationship hoping for the worst but don't go in hoping for a happy ending either"
"God I love you" I sighed
"Aww I love you too"
We laughed and cleaned up after we were done eating. I was lying down on my bed and debating on whether to text Kevin to tell him goodnight. I just sat there staring at my phone reading 'baby blue' over and over again. I finally gave up and decided to sleep, I'm sure he would text again soon and I would be able to redeem myself. I assured myself and went to bed.
Boy was I wrong, Kevin hadn't texted me for an entire week. I was in bed again staring at my phone praying for a text from him I'm already desperate...so pathetic. I put my face on my pillow and screamed into it.
I had even gone back to my normal routine hoping that he would pop up or that I would find him in my favourite spot in the library waiting for me but nope I found a cold hard empty floor instead.
I would rush to open a text every time I got one just to have it be from someone I didn't want to talk to or my network provider. I screamed into the pillow again and hit my legs on the bed.
"Just text him already" Hannah said getting into the duvet covers "You know you want to"
"I can't"
"Why not"
"I'm pretty sure he hates me now"
"You will never know until you try"
"Easy for you to say.....just sleep"
"Fine....fine...fine...don't say I didn't say I didn't warn yah"
"Stop singing to Taylor swift and sleep"
She laughed and hugged me before deciding to call it a night. I looked at my phone for a couple more minutes before giving in to sleep.
*****
After lectures the next day Richard insisted that I escort him to a nearby store to get 'something of great importance' as he put it before I could go to the library. I only went because he promised to get me jelly beans.
Richard could be a little 'handsy' sometimes if you know what I mean. I found it weird and kind of irritating in the beginning but I got used to it. He would hold my hands, put his arm around my shoulders and sometimes around my waist, even his hugs sometimes would last longer than they should have. I thought he had a thing for me but eventually I realised that that's just how he behaved much to my relief.
He escorted me to the library and left in a hurry to God knows where. I studied and read my novel after I felt like I had exhausted myself. I had managed to finish the book I was reading befroe and was on the third book in the series. I couldn't seem to unglue my eyes from the book after I started reading, I just kept saying a few more minutes and before I knew it the sun had set.
I said bye to the librarian and left the library. There weren't many people because it was kind of dark now. The few people who were around were probably in doors since the school had its own rooms, my mother had once suggested that I move in but I refused, the last thing I wanted was to share a room with anyone other than my best friend.
I was heading out of school with my headsets on and so deep in thought that I didn't notice that someone was trying to talk to me. I realised when one of my headsets was pulled out of my ear. I immediately turned and found Kevin looking at me we have got to stop meeting like this blue eyes I said to myself smiling inwardly
"Hey sorry I didn't hear you" I smiled but he didn't smile back. He was just looking at me like he was having a hard time trying to figure me out "Is something wrong?" I asked when he didn't say anything
"I should be the one asking you that question.....I don't understand you....I'm trying to but I don't...I tell you that I would like to spend more time with you and you tell me you feel the same way but then you start giving me curt replies, ignoring my texts and avoiding me" he furrowed his eyebrows and looked a little mad but I found it cute "I waited thinking that you would text me in your own time but you didn't"
Yeah and I also waited thinking you would text me again but you didn't
"I'm sorry....I can be difficult sometimes" he frowned at me and I rolled my eyes "Ok....fine a lot...I just didn't know what to do or say"
"What you shouldn't have done was make me think that I screwed up somehow"
"I really am sorry....can we start over" I put out my hand for him to shake but he didn't take it
"No...I'm going to need a little more than that sunshine" he smirked
A little more I felt my heart beat faster, oh my....what does he mean by a little more? My hands felt sweaty and I felt like I had a lump in my throat
"A kiss on the cheek"
"You want me to kiss you on the cheek?"
"No...I want to kiss you on the cheek"
That's it....frankly I felt a little disappointed but I shouldn't have, should I? I mean it's not like I wanted to know what he tasted like or how it would feel to have his soft lips on mine.....they looked really soft...Were they softer than they looked or were they just a little bit firmer than that.....
"Yeah.....sure no problem"
"Promise you won't avoid me if I do"
"I won't" I smiled
He stepped a little closer and leaned in looking into my eyes. If this is how a kiss on the cheek was given then sign me up. His eyes moved from mine and lingered on my lips before he moved his head to the side to kiss my cheek.
I could see that his eyes were closed and a little thought crossed my mind but I pushed it away. I stood still and time seemed to slow down as he came closer. I looked at his lips and I was so tempted, the little thought I had came back and it was at full force how would they feel....how would they feel...how would they feel
I sure as hell was not going to find out...His lips were almost touching my cheek when I turned my head and kissed him....
*****
Well hello babes....
I think I should find a better name than 'babes'....i'll work on it
So how was the chapter? it felt a little sloppy to me but that's the best I could do....
Please feel free to click on the little star #vote and comment if you enjoyed it
Until next time....Mwaah
XoXo......