Chapter 13
Only Fools Fall In Love…And I Guess That’s What We Both Are
Even with what had happened with Ryan, my dreams that night were still of John.
It was really only one dream. And that was all it was: a dream. Because what happened…I was positive would never happen.
...
It was just John and I, lying together on a bed in a room I’d never seen before. Everything was white: the walls, the bedding, the carpet. Outside, the sky was clear and blue and a breeze drifted through the open window.
“You know,” John whispered, pulling me closer to him so that both our heads were lying on the same pillow. “I never thought we’d get to do this again.”
“Me either,” I sighed, tucking my head underneath his chin when I moved even closer. “I missed it so much. You’ve got no idea.”
His chest, which I finally noticed was bare, moved as he laughed. “Oh, I do, Emmy love. I do. I just don’t know how long this is going to last.”
My eyebrows furrowed and I placed a hand on his chest, right over his heart to feel it beating strong and steady. “What are you talking about?”
“Well, with the Order wanting to get rid of the Brotherhood’s founding families…I don’t think I’ve got very long, you know. They’ve gotten Haidar and Ghada and their kids…Ed’s gone now, too, so…I’m next, right? I’m the last one. They wouldn’t go after Dad or Elena because they’re not the leader of the Brotherhood. I am…so I’m next.”
I knew this was a dream. I remembered falling asleep after my tears had finally ceased. I remembered what had caused those tears. Mine and Ryan’s conversation…
“I’ve known this was coming and I accept that. I accept another thing, too, now that I know I’m leaving you and never coming back.”
“John, just shut up,” I growled. I wanted him to stop. Even dreaming, I wasn’t emotionally stable enough to be hearing this. I didn’t need to hear him say that he was going to die…that he accepted it and pretty much even welcomed it.
“Get used to me not being around, Emmy, because it’s going to happen sooner than you realize. You’re going to have to move on. I did when I thought I lost you. I found someone else. I still love you, of course, but I love her, too.”
My head lifted at that last statement. He’d found someone else? Fallen in love with her? “I said shut up. Don’t you dare…”
“No,” he laughed, kissing the top of my head. This wasn’t a laughing matter! “I felt like I was all alone and she made me feel…less so. And now you’re going to be alone in the world of the Knights. You’re still an outsider to almost all of them. You’ll have to prove yourself to be able to become one of them. But, of course, you can become one through marriage, just like with the Brotherhood.”
It was then that I sat up, glaring down at him. I didn’t need words to tell him just how furious I was.
And he had the nerve to smile still. “Now, I know Ryan wasn’t high on the list of people I liked before, but I’ve changed my mind. He loves you, Emmy. Not as much as I do, of course, but it’s enough. Right now, he really only loves you in the sisterly way, but that can change over time if you make it. And you will. Because I want you to stay with him. Be happy, get married, have kids, grow old with him. You can do it.”
I was beyond furious now. My hand balled up into a fist and pounded down on his chest hard. “Don’t you dare even tell me that I should choose him over you, to be happy with him and not you. You’re not going anywhere, John. I’m with them to help protect you. You’re not going to die.”
John didn’t say a word then. He was only gazing up at me, a slight smile on his lips. But as I looked at those lips, a drop of red dripped from the corner and streaked down the side of his face into his hair.
“I told you, Emmy love,” he rasped out. “I told you I was next.”
“What are you…?”
My eyes went from the streak of blood coming from his mouth up to his eyes. He was looking at me, but then his eyes dropped down to my fist still on his chest.
Something wasn’t right. My hand was clasped around something smooth and cool and metal…and when I lifted it up, the knife pulled from John’s chest with a sickening sound.
My hand opened and the knife dropped to the crisp, white bedding, staining it red…
John’s blood.
From the knife that I stabbed through his chest.
That chest where a giant hole was, blood pouring out of him.
My hands were shaking as I lifted them in front of me, both covered in crimson, before my eyes looked past them and at John, who was lying there, his eyes open and unseeing.
...
My scream could have woken up the entire house, the entire street, the entire town of Pallandino.
I shot up from my bed, sweat drenching my skin and hair, body shaking violently, and heart racing in my chest. A sob bubbled up in my throat, accompanying the tears that welled up in my eyes, eyes that couldn’t stop seeing the image of John lying there dead...
And because of me.
Pulling my knees to my chest, I gasped before my sob finally came out, broken and miserable.
Because I soon realized, it wasn’t just a dream.
Almost all of my worries and fears were rolled up into it, seeming so short and yet the clock glowed four in the morning.
The first was that John would find someone else in the time that we were apart. Yes, it selfish of me, but I still didn’t think that I would be able to take it if it were really true. Had he found someone else in the time since my ‘death,’ even if it had only been a few short weeks? And if he did…how was I going to take seeing him with her whenever I did get to see him again?
There was also the whole thing with the Order going after the Brotherhood’s founding families. Sure, I knew the Knights were protecting them as best they could, but something could always go wrong. And the dream John being so accepting of that fate…I could never imagine him doing that, giving up so easily. He would fight for his family, for the Brotherhood, and for himself.
And the dream John wanting me to be with Ryan if something did happen to him…never going to happen.
But what shook me up the most would probably any other person. The image of John and the hole in his chest…then the knife in my hand, which was covered in his blood…I shivered just from picturing it again.
They said that dreams were your subconscious thoughts, your fears and anxieties that lay deeper than what you believed. Maybe I was trying to tell myself something?
Well, of course, I was.
I didn’t want John to find someone older, prettier, and not so worried about what others thought of their relationship.
I didn’t want anyone hurt.
I didn’t want to even have the thought of being with someone that wasn’t John.
And I especially didn’t want to be the one hurt John the most.
My head shot up as that last thought went through my mind. My heart was hammering for a completely different reason then. Not from fear, but from sadness and guilt.
Because I already had hurt John the most out of everyone in his life.
I left him – died – and watched his heart shatter.
...
I didn’t fall back asleep, didn’t wait for Ryan to come wake me up for our morning run…well, if he was after to after what happened the night before. I just knew that I needed something to clear my head, so I threw on my training clothes, pulled a jacket over my t-shirt, and slipped on my tennis shoes before heading downstairs.
No one seemed to be up as I quietly descended and headed for the front door. I wasn’t expecting anyone to be up anyway, so it was less questions for me. And after stretching out my muscles, I ran.
I didn’t know how far I ran, didn’t even take one of our normal routes. My feet were taking me wherever they pleased, down the streets lit by the wrought iron lamps, past the shops still locked up and homes with no lights on in the windows. All of Pallandino was still sleeping peacefully.
Well, maybe except one person.
As I was coming up on the main plaza, a car was headed down the street leading from to the house just a little too fast, speeding around the center fountain, and toward the street that led out of town. Even in the dark, I knew who’s car it was. I didn’t even need to see the driver’s face.
After another hour and an unknown distance later, I slowed my pace as I rounded the house to the back doors leading into the kitchen. The sun had already crested the horizon, so I knew that someone would be up. Sure enough, Kate and Juliet were seated at the table, cups in hand and had already finished off their plates, while Theo came over and set another plate in the center of the table.
“Good morning, Emmy,” Kate smiled at me when I walked through the doors. “You’re out early, aren’t you?”
I nodded, pulling off my jacket before sitting down beside her. “Yeah, I…um…I got an early start,” I said, reaching for the plate with the freshly-made omelets. “I’ve been up for a few hours now and thought I’d run a little farther. I needed to…clear my mind.”
“Did something happen?” Juliet questioned, raising an eyebrow as she took a sip of her tea. The look she was giving me – the look all three of them were giving me – said they already knew that something happened, but not exactly what.
“Ryan and I had a little…falling out…last night,” I grimaced, looking down at my plate.
“I told you something happened between the two of them,” Theo said to Juliet. “Why else would Ryan want to take that assignment?”
Did I just hear him right? “Wait, Ryan took an assignment?”
Juliet nodded. “I talked to him, Tory, and Jude about it yesterday. Tory and Jude were all for it, but I knew Ryan would refuse to go. He did…until he came, packed and ready to go, when they were just about to leave.”
“So…he’s gone?”
Why did he just up and leave after what happened the night before? Sure, I’d been upset and angry and kicked him out of my room…but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to talk to him about it.
Because on my run, instead of clearing my head like I’d wanted to do, I realized how out of proportion I blew everything. I was already emotional over the day itself, the conversation with Kate over the ring, and then what he and I talked about…I wasn’t thinking straight.
Yes, I still felt like he took advantage of what was happening. Not me, like I yelled at him, but of the situation. He thought I was okay enough to handle a simple kiss just to see if his nonexistent feelings were just that – nonexistent. He didn’t know just how emotional I really was at the time and everything just sort of blew up on him.
I wanted to apologize for what happened. Because, despite what I told him, I still trusted him and I still wanted to be friends. More so, I wanted my overprotective surrogate big brother back. But after everything I said to him after that kiss he apologized over and over for, I didn’t know if we could be that again.
And, instead of facing me, he ran.
“So he, Tory, and Jude are gone?” I asked, looking between Kate and Juliet.
Juliet was the one to answer. “They’re working with the security team of an antiquities company in Florence. It’s actually the company you and Jamie will be joining them at in a few weeks after your training is complete. You’ll be given more information before you go, but the three of them needed to sort out some details beforehand. They’ll be back in about two weeks.”
My mouth went dry. “Two week?”
“So it’s just going to be you and Jamie in training,” Kate said worriedly. Both of us were remembering what happened the first and only time I fought Jamie. I didn’t really want to know what would happen now that she knew that I could actually stand up for myself, even though I was nothing compared to her still.
“And I’ll be on medical standby if you need me,” Theo grinned, and Kate smacked his arm.
“But you’ve come a long way since that first day,” Juliet said, smiling slightly. “I’m sure you can handle yourself when it comes to her now.”
...
An hour later, I was walking into the gym by myself, never feeling more alone than I was then. Ryan, Tory, and Jude were gone, leaving me to face Jamie alone for two weeks in training, which Ryan had promised wouldn’t happen after the first day.
The lights were off, save for the one above that mat that never went unlit, and Jamie was nowhere in sight. I didn’t know whether I should have waited there for her or go searching instead. I chose the latter after hearing a muted gunshot from the shooting range on the opposite side of the gym.
I’d only been there once as I pulled open the door, walking down the short hallway before getting to the actual range – a long, rectangular soundproof room with three stalls from which someone would shoot. Ryan had brought me the second day of training, also showing me the weapons room, which was pretty much a stockpile of anything a person could think of. Just being in the room made me feel uncomfortable at first, but I knew that would have to change.
Another shot fired just as I walked inside, making my ears immediately start ringing. I reached for some earplugs sitting on the table beside the door and put them in just as Jamie fired again, the sound muted.
She obviously didn’t hear me when I came in, not that she would have acknowledged my presence otherwise. In her hand was a gun, her finger over the trigger just as an object shot up halfway down the range. She squeezed it, firing another bullet, and hit the target – the outline of a man – right in the middle of the head. One, two, three more popped up and then went down just as quickly as they came.
Jamie didn’t stop until the bullets ran out. And when they did, I pulled out my earplugs just as she did the same.
“You’re lucky you didn’t come and tap me on the shoulder, or else I would have turned this thing on you,” she stated, setting it down on the table beside me. Her eyes met mine and they were…blank. They didn’t hold the usual hatred.
“Well, I’ve learned my lesson when it comes to you.”
“And yet they leave you alone with me for training. Ryan would have never done that before.”
I grimaced, looking down at the gun and the box of bullets she was reaching for then. “Yeah, well…let’s just get on with this. I don’t want to be around you more than you want to be around me. I already know you hate me, so there’s no need for us to be in each other’s company longer than absolutely necessary.”
A harsh laugh escaped her lips as she reloaded the gun. “Well, that just goes to show how much you know about me, Emmy Alexander…or should I say, Emmy Raymond?”
My eyes lifted to her faced and widened since she didn’t call me ‘princess’ like usual, but she was already turning away.
“Now,” she continued. “I’ve seen you shoot before…in D.C. You’re not half bad, but we need to work on when you’re aiming for a moving target.”
“Um…okay,” I said, clearing my throat as I walked up beside her. “What are we going to do?”
She placed the gun in my hand. “You’re going to do exactly what I was doing before. We’ll start with one series of ten. I want you to go for the kill shots. No hitting the shoulders, arms, or legs, only the chest or head.”
“Why kill shots? Why not just hit them in places that will do damage and not kill?”
“Because they’ll keep coming after you no matter what. If you don’t kill them, they’ll kill you. It’ll get down to that no matter what. Would you rather be the one killed or the one getting away?”
I never wanted to kill anyone, not even the night of the holiday reception at the White House. I’d only shot those guys in the shoulders, just to get them to get away from John. But now, Jamie wanted me to shoot the cutouts where it wouldn’t just hurt them, but get rid of them permanently.
“You can’t think about it, Emmy,” she said, walking with me to the middle stall where she’d been. A control panel was mounted on the ledge and she pressed two icons, setting the simulator, before a green start appeared on the screen. “Just shoot.”
One second after I put my earplugs back in, lifted the gun, and Jamie pressed the start icon, the first cutout appeared. I did what she said – didn’t think and just shot. Too bad my aim apparently sucked after not shooting a gun for a while.
The first bullet hit the cutout barely a centimeter from the left shoulder. The next hit the hip. And after that, just above the ear. I didn’t even think when it came to the others, just shot at the things whenever they appeared. Not the best when she wanted to see just how good I was, but I couldn’t do any better.
But when the simulator stopped and we saw just where all the bullet holes were, her jaw tightened.
“You can do better than this,” she said stiffly. “Again, but I’m going to get you a different gun. We need to find you one you can work with anyway. That, and a knife, but we’ve already got specially made for you. Juliet’s idea.”
When she disappeared into the weapons room, I sighed, laying the gun down on the table. I had a feeling this was going to be a long day if all we were going to do was test guns to find one that actually worked with me.
Well, not all day, at least. And after four hours and nine guns, I finally found one that actually felt good in my hands…Well, as good as a weapon that could kill someone felt.
“So much better,” Jamie approved when we saw the new bullet holes in the cutouts. “Six kill shots and four that could potentially be life threatening. Great job.”
“Yes, great job at killing those poor innocent paper men,” I scoffed, setting down the Glock that was officially mine.
She rolled her eyes, laying them on top of the others on the table. “Well, you’re not going to be shooting the innocent whenever shit gets real, Emmy. And it will get real. You’ll realize that soon enough.”
...
On the second day of training with just Jamie, I thought she was literally going to kill me. Why? Because we were starting training with the knives – military grade knives with sturdy handles and black polished blades with an edge that could cut you with the slightest of pressure. She didn’t even teach me any moves, just said, “You already know them. You’re just adding the knife.”
She was still acting cool toward me, calling me by my name and not ‘princess’, and didn’t cut me on purpose, though there were a few throughout the day that were not life-threatening. I wouldn’t exactly call her friendly, but she wasn’t acting like she had been in the weeks that I’d known her.
The old Jamie didn’t appear again until three days after.
I’d been in the shooting range, getting better and better with my aim when she stopped my series just as I hit one target right in the head.
“Hey!” I yelled, only because I couldn’t hear myself since my earplugs were still in. “What did you do that for? That one was my best one yet…and that’s saying something since I’ve gotten every one of them right where you wanted!”
“Get your knife and go to the gym. Now!” she growled out.
And seeing her eyes glaring at me, I really didn’t want to be fighting her at the moment, especially when she was going at me with a knife.
She was already pacing the mat when I got there and slowly and cautiously walked toward her with the handle of my knife grasped in my hand, the blade running up against my forearm. And it was a good thing, too, especially when she turned and attacked without even the slightest indication that she was.
Her knife sliced through my arm so quickly when I lifted to block her swing that it took a moment before it started bleeding. It wasn’t a deep cut, but it stung as the blood dripped to the mat. The shock of her sudden attack and hit made me drop to one knee, though my knife was still tightly gripped in my hand. It wasn’t going to help me, though, not when she looked like she was on the warpath. And when she was like that, I just wanted to surrender.
But she wasn’t having that.
“Fight back!” she screamed, pulling me up by my shirt. “Dammit, you need to fight back! Quit acting like a damn princess!”
Though I was still shocked by her sudden outburst, I couldn’t help what came out of my mouth then. “Well, if I were a princess, I wouldn’t be kneeling down to the likes of you.”
Yeah, so shouldn’t have said that.
If looks could kill, I’d be lying on the floor with her knife in my stomach, her bruised handprints around my neck, and set on fire until I was extra crispy. Not a very pretty picture, but I could see all of it in her eyes…and I was sure it was going to happen when she lunged for me again.
Her hand wrapped around my wrist, twisting it so that the knife dropped from my grip as I cried out. She swung with her other then, and I caught it just in time before the blade sliced across my face. Twisting my arm again, she brought me to my knees and onto my back. One hand was wrapped around my neck and the blade was pressed against the top of my throat. I could feel it cutting into my skin.
But the very real idea of her killing me then wasn’t what made my eyes wide.
It was the tears that were suddenly in her eyes, not the pure hatred of me.
“Why?” she choked out, looking down at me just as her tears spilled over, landing on my cheek. “Why do you have to hurt every person you’re important to, huh?”
What. The. Heck.
“You’ve hurt them all,” she went on, though her words came out in choked sobs. “You’ve hurt them all just like she did. I’ve tried to tell them that, too…that you’re just like her.”
I wanted to speak, wanted to ask what she was talking about. But if I even moved in the slightest, it would be the final cut, so I just stared up at her with wide eyes as hers continued spilling tears.
“Why?” she whispered this time, and slowly let go of me.
I couldn’t move from where I lying on the mat, even when she ended up lying beside me, so close that our arms were touching. My eyes were on the ceiling, but I could hear her quiet, broken sobs so close beside me. I couldn’t understand what was happening and didn’t know if she would ever explain.
Why did I have to hurt every person I was important to? I didn’t have a choice, that’s why. I didn’t choose any of it and yet it still hurt everyone. Hadn’t I been going on about that for weeks now?
“You still think I hate you, don’t you, Emmy?” Jamie whispered.
I swallowed hard, peeking over at her before looking back at the ceiling. I could still see her out of the corner of my eye, though, just in case she attacked me again. “You haven’t given me any reason not to.”
She snorted, reaching up to rub under her eyes. “Yeah, well, I guess that’s true.”
It was my turn to laugh. “You guess that’s true? You looked like you were about to kill me just now!”
“That would put us in an even worse situation then, wouldn’t it?”
“Of course. I’d really be dead then. I don’t think Juliet, Kate, or anyone else would really appreciate that.”
Jamie turned her head and I could feel her eyes on me before I looked back. “Don’t forget Ryan. He cares about you too much.”
No matter how much I wanted to apologize for the night of my birthday, I still wanted to throttle him for leaving for two weeks with Tory and Jude without telling me.
“He called me last night, to give updates…and to ask how you were doing.”
Why not talk to me, idiot? I would have told you how I was doing.
“He thought you’d be in a pissy mood, but I told him you were acting like your normal self. I didn’t know what could have put you in a mood…until he told me what happened.”
“And why would he tell you?”
She was quiet, but I swore I could hear her swallow. “Because I’m one of his best friends and he tells me everything, even if it’s days later.”
I grimaced, turning my head to look back at the ceiling. Not because she knew, but because how surprisingly uncomfortable her gaze made me. It was like she was trying to see into my mind, figure out what I was really thinking about. And when she spoke next, she was pretty much spot on.
“You don’t love him like that, though. Why would you, when you’ve got John? But you still love Ryan, only as a big brother. He’s awfully protective of you like one, that’s for sure, especially with what happened after the first day of training. He chewed my ass out for that one later that night. He was probably worse than Juliet.”
“Well, all things considered, you did deserve it.”
When she laughed, my eyes went back to her. I’d never heard the girl laugh ever since I met her. She almost seemed…normal.
“Yeah, I did,” she smiled. “Sorry about that, by the way. You can say I sort of lost it.”
It was my time to laugh. “Sort of doesn’t even begin to describe it.”
If anyone who’d known me and Jamie over the last few weeks came in just then, they wouldn’t have believed their eyes. Because there we were, lying on the mat in the gym, both laughing and actually somewhat getting along. I was having trouble believing it myself.
“You’ve come a long way since then, though,” she smiled when we both sobered up. We were sitting up then – she was leaning back on her hands with her legs stretched out in front of her while I had my legs crossed under me. “Really, you’ve caught on to so much in such a short span of time. It took me months to learn some of the moves that you learned in just a few weeks.”
“Well, when you’ve been training here for your entire life, so you still know a lot more than I do.”
She looked at me, seeming confused, and shook her head. “I haven’t been training my entire life. Only for about five years, actually. That’s how long I’ve been here.”
I was the one confused then. “So you didn’t grow up here? Ryan said that all Knights grew up in town, even if they moved away for a time.”
Realization appeared in her eyes then and a slight smile curled at the corner of her lips. “And I say again, that goes to show just how much you know about me, Emmy…because I’m not a Knight.”
Of all the things that I knew about Jamie – which, I admit, wasn’t very much – I would have never guessed what she just told me. I was sure my face clearly displayed my shock, because I wasn’t hiding any of it.
What did she mean, she wasn’t a Knight? How could this girl who almost killed me with her bare hands plenty of times before not be?
I was waiting for her to yell out ‘kidding!’ and then attack me for whatever reason she felt like. I wouldn’t have fought back at all, mostly because I was still trying to process.
“What do you mean, you’re not a Knight?”
Jamie shrugged, laughing slightly at my face. “Just that. I’m not a Knight,” she grinned. “Ryan really never told you this? That’s surprising. It seems like he tells you anything you ask about.”
“Yeah, well, I never asked about you.”
“And I never gave you any reason to want to get to know me better, huh?”
“Not really…but I’m intrigued now,” I admitted, and then stared at her for a moment before shaking my head. “So if you haven’t always been a part of all this…?”
“How did I get myself into it?” she finished, raising an eyebrow. “We’re a lot more alike than you think, Emmy, including the way we were both brought into this world of the Brotherhood and the Knights.” She paused before she grinned again. “John.”
My reaction to the name must have been a good one, because she almost immediately started laughing. How could I not be surprised by it? John was the reason she was involved? But…how did he and Jamie get involved?
“It’s not what you’re thinking,” she shook her head. “He didn’t kidnap me and whatnot like he did with you. Actually, he doesn’t know about my involvement in all this now. I haven’t talked to him in a few years, though I’ve seen him plenty of times.
“We went to Cambridge together, actually, and became friends from the start. Both of my parents are professors there and I’d overheard him complaining about how much of a hard ass my father was to a few of his friends. So just to mess with him, I sat down at the table with him and told him how I was going to report him as being a threat to the safety of a faculty member.” She smiled, thinking back. “I swear, he looked like he was either going to puke or threaten me. But when I started laughing, the confused look he gave me was even better. I told him who I was then, and how I knew just how bad my father could be when it came to academics, and we were friends ever since. He never let me live it down, though, even after he met my father out of the classroom where he wasn’t so hard on everyone.
“It was two years later when Brae came along. John and I were never anything more than friends, but I could see how smitten he was with her as soon as he met her. She quickly became a part of our group, John’s girlfriend, and she and I actually became really good friends, even after only a few months. But for some reason, there was always this little voice in the back of my head saying that something wasn’t quite right with her, like she was hiding something. I didn’t know just how much she was hiding until a week before the accident that pretty much changed everyone’s lives, including mine.”
It seemed like everyone knew Braewyn was hiding something. Well, everyone except John. But then again, he’d been blinded by his love for her, that love she took advantage of.
“She and I had a flat together, so we pretty much knew each other’s business whether we wanted to or not. There was one thing that she kept extremely well hidden, though, and I understood just how important it must have been, even though I’d never seen it before. We’d gone out one night and didn’t get back until around two the next morning. But when we walked in, the place had been completely ransacked. Everything was scattered, drawers were pulled out with our clothes thrown everywhere, and furniture was overturned with the cushions slashed.
“Of course, we were both freaking out, but Brae had run to her room in a panic as I called the police and then John. But when I was on the phone, I was standing in her doorway as she dug through her closet, searching for something. And when she didn’t find it, she screamed. I thought something had happened to her, but she composed herself too quickly for everything to be fine, even though she’d said it was.
“It wasn’t until a few days after we’d cleaned up as much as we could that something happened to prove to me just how wrong I’d been about Brae. She told me that she was going out with John, but she didn’t realize that I’d just gotten off the phone with him and he hadn’t said anything about going out. So when she left, I followed her. Curiosity, another thing we both have that tends to get us into trouble, Emmy. But unlike you, I didn’t run into John. I ran into Ryan.”
When she said his name, her eyes glassed over as if she were remembering that night, along with something more as a small smile formed on her lips. And just then, I saw what I’d never really seen before, probably because I hadn’t really saw Jamie clearly or understood that look in her eyes when she said his name.
“I followed her a few streets over, but I had to duck behind parked cars and into the doorways of buildings because she kept looking behind her like she knew someone was following her. It wasn’t until I jumped into one doorway that I realized she was being followed by someone else other than me.”
Jamie laughed then, shaking her head. “I’ve heard the story of the first time you and John met, pretty much holding you at gunpoint. Well, Ryan was the same, though he was using a knife. It successfully kept me quiet, being pressed against my throat and all, that’s for sure. But when he got a good look at me, it was like he’d already known who I was.”
“And did he?” I asked.
She nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear that had fallen out of place. “Yeah, he did. He knew everything about me because they kept tabs on everyone Brae had contact with, though I didn’t realize that then. All I wanted was not to die. He let me go, though I couldn’t leave, not when we both needed to see what was going on.
“Brae had gotten into a car with a guy I’d never seen before, but she acted like she knew him. From our spot, Ryan and I could see them through the windshield. She looked pissed and started yelling at the guy, though we couldn’t understand what about. But he was grinning at her as she hit him before holding something up, dangling it in between them. And when she saw it…” Her mouth twisted into a grimace. “She slapped him across the face before she started kissing him.”
Nice. Not only did Braewyn betray every person in her life to the Order, she was cheating on John, even if – to her – she wasn’t as invested in the relationship as he was. I remembered John telling me what was going through his head after the accident, how much he beat himself up over it from that day forward. Every moment haunted him and, no matter how much I wanted, I couldn’t take all of that away. If he never learned the truth, it would still haunt him for the rest of his life.
Braewyn had better really be dead, or else she would have me to deal with.
Jamie must have read my expression, because she looked just about as pissed as I was feeling. “Even though I didn’t know what any of this was about then, I wanted to confront her, ask her how she could do that to John. That was all I was seeing, her cheating on him. She was hurting one of the best people I’d ever met and it didn’t look like she cared at all. Though I still didn’t know who he was, Ryan had started asking me questions, like if I knew the guy she was with or what he’d held up. I answered no just as they’d driven away.
“That was the night that changed everything for everyone. For me, I’d been introduced to a world that I had no clue existed, and for everyone else…it would change everything.
“You already know the story of the accident, both the Knights’ and the Brotherhood’s point of views. You know that Brae had gone to John and ‘confessed’ everything to him. You know that Kate had her own plan in place. But me? I watched it all from the passenger seat of Ryan’s car. Because of what was happening, because it was his sister, he wasn’t supposed to get involved. But when he told me that he was taking me with him, all I wanted were answers. And I got my answers…along with thinking about how I could have missed so much about the people around me and who they really were.”
She was quiet then, looking down at her hands she was folding together in her lap. I didn’t say anything either, mostly because I knew she had to be reliving that night in her mind and it wasn’t my place to get her to tell me more. If she wanted to, she would.
“After that night…I believed Brae was really gone. And Kate, though I hadn’t met her then, but saw what happened. I went to Brae’s funeral, though I barely felt anything for her. It wasn’t because I was trying to be rude. I just felt I was saying goodbye to a girl I didn’t know at all, though I’d lived with her for months. But John…I went to the hospital every day until he woke up. That was the last time I saw him, though.
“That was the day Ryan came back. I still didn’t know who he was, barely even knew his name, but he just looked at me out of his car window and asked, ‘Do you want to know what really happened?’ So I got in the car with him, not knowing where we were going, and he brought me to the airport in London. I knew I should have asked questions, but I had more that I needed answers to…and I got them from him and Juliet on the flight here to Pallandino. I’ve been here ever since.”
I couldn’t help but gawk at her. “What do you mean? You don’t talk to your family? They just took you here with absolutely nothing to go on, no reason for bringing you?”
All she did was nod. “I didn’t know anything when I got on that jet, but everything once we touched down in Florence. They’d given me a choice and I obviously chose to stay here with them. Yes, I still keep in contact with my parents – talk to them every Sunday night for at least two hours.
“My story for them was, after everything happened, I needed to go somewhere else. I’d been two months from finishing school and was somehow able to convince them to let me do it from here. And after, I told everyone that I’d found at job – a place called MAR Security, which is one of the Knights companies – and moved here permanently. My parents were upset, but I go home to see them a few times a year. I can never say too much, though.
“I wasn’t lying about my job exactly. I am one of the head security agents and the most skilled fighter. I’ve got Ryan to thank for that. He was the one to take me under his wing when I was officially staying, kind of like he did with you. We trained every day and went on those ridiculously long runs he loves so much. I never wanted to give up. I felt like I had to prove myself to everyone, because, since I’m not a Knight, I had to give them a reason to keep me around. Look where that’s gotten me, though. I’ve come a long way. I was too invested in all of this after the accident and I didn’t want to lose it all. I didn’t want to lose the family I’d gained or…Ryan…”
Again, she was looking down at her hands in her lap, but that just confirmed what I had already suspected.
“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
She winced, glancing up at me. “That obvious, huh?”
“Not until today,” I laughed, shaking my head. “I really didn’t put all this together until just now. Ryan’s apparently an idiot for not seeing it, though. But it’s kind of hard not to love the guy, huh?”
“Yeah, it is,” she smiled, and a blush spread across her face. “It really wasn’t anything at first, but then everything just changed one day. Well, one thing changed, really.”
“And that thing would be…?”
Her smile grew. “You.”
My eyes widened. “Me?”
“Yes, you. It was the first day at the airport in London, before you knew who he was or what he was a part of. I’d been with him, watching over John, but we weren’t expecting you. And Ryan had been so intrigued by you, of why you were with him since we didn’t know about you at all…and all I wanted to do was punch you.”
I grimaced. “Well, you’ve gotten that wish now, huh?”
“Again, sorry,” she laughed. “But really. I was so jealous of you – a girl I’d never seen in my life – and all because he just had to go talk to you. I guess that’s why I’ve kind of resented the fact that you have such a big part in all of this. Because you were just an ordinary girl like me…until John – or, in my case, Ryan – came along and dragged you into a world that had been kept secret for millennia. I didn’t want another girl’s life to be so twisted because of all of this, make you become someone so different from what you were before, and yet no one was willing to give you up.”
It was strange, having her admit that she basically just wanted to look after me. I guess that was what all of this – the anger, bitterness, and hatred toward me – was.
She was right, though. We had so much more in common than I’d thought. She understood how hard it could be, jumping into all this secret society mess with both feet first. Not to mention being away from your family because of all of it. At least, she still kept in contact with hers.
Maybe this could be the beginning of a sort-of friendship?
“So is this a kind of truce?” I questioned, looking at her hopefully. “I mean, you don’t still plan on trying to kill me every time we’re here, do you?”
Jamie nodded, smiling. “It’s a truce. Ryan, Tory, and Jude aren’t going to know what happened when they get back,” she laughed, shaking her head at the thought. “And no, I don’t plan on killing you every time we’re here. I never really did…though I got carried away at times.”
“Carried away,” I scoffed, rolling my eyes as she started laughing again. “Just like you got ‘carried away’ a little while ago. Sure.”
***Hey, guys! Sorry for the week and a half wait for the upload, but I haven't been feeling good for the past week, so I didn't start this until Friday and finished it today. You can see why it took me a few days since it's another one of those long ones. But I plan on getting right back on schedule with uploads from now on!
I had so many evil genius moments in this chapter....I can't even. But you guys will see what makes them evil genius moments. Oh, you shall see...
A lot of you were right about some things about Jamie, but definitely not the big reveal! I actually didn't plan on that scene until I was actually writing it...and squealed at how awesome I felt and had to give myself a pat on the back. I'm so tempted to write a short story spinoff for Jamie now, but I know I've just got no time for it. It shall be playing in my head, though!
Oh, and guess what? 3 chapters...if you know what I mean... ;D
As usual, 100 votes and 30 comments before the next upload? Let's do it!
Comment and vote!!!1***